Fragile Things
by gutter.xromance
Summary: -SiriusOC- Elaina Cochran's family has been killed by Death Eaters, and in a time of war and unrest she is about to learn that the strongest things like friendship, love and loyalty are actually the most fragile.
1. Prologue: On the Other Side of the Wall

**Prologue: On the Other Side of the Wall **

_Death leaves Us homesick, who behind,_  
_Except that it is gone_  
_Are ignorant of its Concern_  
_As if it were not born._

_Through all their former Places, we_  
_Like Individuals go_  
_Who something lost, the seeking for_  
_Is all that's left them, now—  
- _Emily Dickinson

James Potter woke with a start, his hand automatically reaching beneath his pillow to grasp his wand tightly. Bleary eyed, he reached for his nightstand to feel around for his glasses and after fumbling for a moment, perched them on his face.

The hallway light cut through the darkness of his room, parting it like the Red Sea and footsteps on the stairs echoed back up the hall, most likely his father from the heaviness of the steps. Glancing at the clock, James noted the time - 3:18 am. He wondered what his father was doing up so late when he suddenly heard the sound of the front door being pulled open.

Concerned now and ever curious, James stood from his bed, gripping his wand and padded quietly from his room to the one beside it. Even with the little light provided by the hallway, James could see that his best friend, Sirius Black lay tangled and twisted in the covers with his mouth wide open. Under any other circumstance, James would have found this funny, but now the way his blood rushed in his ears drowned out his humor.

"Padfoot… Padfoot, c'mon get up!" he hissed urgently, shaking Sirius' shoulder.

It must've been the tone of James' voice that made Sirius snap open his sharp grey eyes. "Wha's goin' on?"

"There's someone here," James told him.

Sirius took another moment to wake, shucking off the last chains of sleep before he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood, grabbing his own wand from his nightstand. Carefully avoiding the places in the floor that creaked, the two friends treaded down the stairs, their wands at the ready.

But all that greeted them when they stopped on the stairs was confusion.

During the amount of time it took James to wake Sirius, his mother had also woken up and she now stood in the foyer along with his father, Albus Dumbledore, and a girl around James and Sirius' age.

Dumbledore noticed their appearance before anyone else and turned his twinkling blue eyes on the two troublemakers. "Ah, hello James, Sirius," he said nodding to them. "Surely you remember your fellow classmate, Elaina Cochran."

James wanted to sneer at her name. He knew her, Elaina was a girl in their year and house who was gorgeous and knew it. The problem was that she seemed to have more the makings of a Slytherin than a Gryffindor, as those were the only people James had ever seen Elaina associate with. And he couldn't recall her having a person in Gryffindor Tower that she could call a friend, even if she occasionally did speak to Remus. But those occasions were few and far between, and although he had never seen Elaina be mean or cruel to anybody, and despite the fact that Remus said she was a 'nice girl', James disliked her by association.

However, when Elaina raised her head to acknowledge James and Sirius, he no longer had it in him to give her a dirty look and even heard Sirius muter an ugly curse behind him. This was not the same girl they knew from school. The Elaina they knew from school walked tall with cool confidence, a small smile perpetually pulling up the corners of her mouth.

But _this_ Elaina looked like she had been dragged through Hell and back.

Elaina was still clad in her pajamas that were torn in several places, the knees and much of the front of the shirt were covered in dirt as if she had fallen several times. A large cut adorned the side of her face, accompanied by many smaller ones, swelling and a black eye. Another large gash stretched from her left collarbone, across her chest and disappeared under the neck of her tank top, but the fabric was stuck with blood where it continued. Her right arm was braced across her ribs and she looked in pain whenever she took too deep of a breath - one of two of them must have been broken. Then James' eyes reached her feet, bare and muddy and he only just realized that she had tracked in bloody footprints.

_How much pain must she be in?_ James wondered. Moreover, he wondered how she could just stand there and not say how much pain she was in, simply suffered.

"Let's go talk in the sitting room, shall we?" Maryann Potter suggested.

"That would be a lovely idea," Albus replied before turning back to James and Sirius. "Would you two be gentlemen and keep Mss Cochran company?" Silently, they nodded and their headmaster smiled. "Wonderful, I also think she would like some tea."

Without a word, James and Sirius descended the last few steps and headed to the kitchen, Elaina trailing behind. Still trying to stand on ceremony or trying to gather what bit of decorum she could, Elaina gently eased herself into a kitchen chair while James put on a kettle of tea. Sirius sat across the table from her, watching as she clasped her hands together so tightly her knuckles turned white. Her breathing was shaky and tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, but she seemed hell-bent on not crying.

Something horrible had happened that was for certain and for Elaina, who Sirius always knew to be vivacious and outgoing to turn into a shell of who she once was, he could not even begin to fathom what she had been through. He wanted to ask, but didn't, somehow knowing he would be crossing a line.

A moment or so later, James placed a tall mug of steaming tea in front of Elaina. She looked up and nodded her thanks as she placed her hands around the ceramic. James almost stopped her to tell her that the mug would be hot, but when her shoulders relaxed he changed his mind - if the heat of the mug was a comfort to her, it was one he would let her have.

And then, he barreled right into the questions Sirius himself desperately wanted to ask with all the subtley of a charging troll. "Elaina, what happened, why are you all beat up? Why are you here, and with Dumbledore of all people?" James asked, followed by "Ow!" as Sirius punched him in the arm.

James hadn't realized that while he asked his questions, tears had started to stream down Elaina's face. Both boys were shocked - Elaina Cochran _did not_ cry.

"Oh shit! Elaina, I'm sorry!" James gasped, reaching out to lay a hand on her arm, but she shrank back from his hand seeming to close in on herself more.

"Elaina -" Sirius started, but was immediately cut off when the kitchen door swung open and James' parents and Dumbledore filed into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" James demanded turning his eyes to his parents.

But it was Dumbledore who answered, "Your parents have graciously agreed to have Miss Cochran for the remainder the summer and until a more suitable place can be found for her to be."

"What, why?"

Dumbledore held up his hand. "Now is not the time for such demands, it will be explained in time."

James' father, Nathan stepped forward. "Until we can put another room upstairs, would one of you be -"

Sirius didn't let him finish, but his eyes never left Elaina's defeated frame. "She can have my room."

Mrs. Potter smiled warmly, cupping Sirius' cheek. "Thank you, dear." Then she turned to Elaina, curling her fingers under the girl's bicep as she gently guided her from the chair. "Come along, my dear, I'll get you fixed up and we can put you to bed."

Elaina stood without protest, leaving the untouched tea on the table and followed James' mother upstairs. Dumbledore turned to Mr. Potter with a smile. "Thank you again, Nathaniel, I can think of no safer place for Miss Cochran to be."

Nathan smiled. "We're happy to have her and be of any help."

Dumbledore smiled wider before turning his attention to Sirius and James. "I know that the three of you have not necessarily gotten on very well, but please do your best not to irritate Elaina overmuch while she is here, she has been through a great deal and the last thing she needs is anymore undue stress. And with that, I will see you at the start of term."

Dumbledore left then, and James knew that due to the wards and charms placed around his home that Dumbledore could not apparate until he was standing on the sidewalk. James turned to his father, impatience dancing in his eyes.

"Dad, what happened?"

His father sighed, rubbing his hand across his forehead. "Not tonight, not right now. Too much has happened." He glanced at the clock before continuing, "it's late... or early. Right now what we all need is rest."

With that, Nathan left the kitchen and once again, James heard his footsteps on the stairs. Sirius yawned running his fingers through his hair while James knuckled his eyelids beneath the frames of his glasses. The two friends looked at one another across the table, as if trying to find the solution that would quench their curiosity in the angles of the other's face.

"Why would she have to stay here?" James wondered. "Doesn't she have anywhere else to go, an aunt, uncle… someone? Or even her parents for Merlin's sake, unless they're on holiday."

Sirius shook his head as a sick feeling began to settle in his gut. "I don't think that's the case. I remember overhearing her telling someone that she and her parents spend every summer together, they don't go on holidays…"

They met each other's eyes, gunmetal grey meeting caramel brown, sharing a look of utterly terrible understanding. Elaina was entirely alone in the world. Sirius and James broke eye contact each with a swear word on their lips. They pushed out their chairs and Sirius headed to the door while James went to dump Elaina's untouched tea in the sink.

The door to Sirius' bedroom was partially closed and inside he could hear Mrs. Potter whispering comforting words to Elaina. He knocked being told to come in a moment later. Maryann and Elaina sat on his bed both with their backs to door. Elaina was hunched forward, whimpering in pain while Maryann held her wand in her hand with several vials of potion sitting at her feet. He stepped over Elaina's discarded tank top and almost put his hand over his mouth at the sight of Elaina's bare back. Several deep bruises covered the surface of her back, seeming to be the point of impact of whatever spells had hit her.

_How the hell is she still alive?_ Sirius thought, moving to his dresser while Maryann continued to help Elaina. He opened the top drawer taking out another pair of pajama pants and a white t-shirt before turning back to Elaina and Maryann. He watched as the bruising began to disappear under the tip of Maryann's wand and with each bruise that healed, Elaina sat a little straighter.

"That's the best I can do, I've healed the worst injuries," Maryann told Elaina. "I just want you to be comfortable enough to be able to sleep. The cuts on your face will heal well and not leave terribly noticeable scars, but I'm afraid I can't say the same for the one on your chest." Then she sighed and laid a hand on Elaina's back ignoring the way she flinched. "The things you've been through tonight… you brave girl… Drink some Dreamless Sleep Potion and get some rest."

Maryann left then and Elaina reached around to clasp her bra back together. She stood up slowly, and from personal experience, Sirius knew that although many of her injuries had been healed, the shadow pain of them remained. She turned to face Sirius, her expression blank and her arms crossed. Sirius could see that Mrs. Potter had spread a healing cream across the cuts on Elaina's face as well as the one along her chest.

"Here," Sirius said, holding out the clothes to her. "I thought you might want something else to sleep in."

Elaina reached out, taking the shirt and pants Sirius offered, pressing them to her chest, still silent. She turned away from him for a moment and drew the shirt over her head to cover herself up then reached for the two pillows that sat at the head of the bed as well as a corner of the blanket. Facing Sirius, she held them out, offering them to him.

He shook his head. "I don't need them, James has extra pillows and blankets." She nodded, turning to place them on the bed again as Sirius said, "Well… goodnight. We'll probably see you at breakfast."

He left the room, shutting the door behind him and walking into James' room where he and Nathan were setting up the cot Sirius used to sleep on when he stayed over in the past, before he moved in. James tossed his father the pillows that were at the top of his bed, followed by the extra covers. Beyond the wall that separated the two rooms, Sirius could hear the floorboards creaking as Elaina walked around.

"How is she?" Nathan asked him.

Sirius shrugged. "Much the same… Can she still talk?"

"I'm assuming so," Mr. Potter replied. "I think the shock might be too much for her to handle right now." Nathan stepped past Sirius, clapping him on the shoulder. "Goodnight boys."

Sirius crossed to the cot and sat on the edge of it, facing James as he sat on the edge of the bed. "My parents will probably put another room on the house for Elaina sometime tomorrow, so you'll have your room back."

Sirius nodded, laying back on the cot, his arm thrown behind his head. Through the wall, he heard the mattress of his bed creak as Elaina laid down as well because his bed was just on the other side pressed against the shared wall. James clicked out the light and turned over facing the wall. It was then, in the eerie and tense silence Elaina unleashed an unmuffled, heart-wrenching scream, followed by heavy weeping.

Both Sirius and James clenched their eyes shut as they tried and failed to drown out the broken crying of the girl just on the other side of the wall.

* * *

**Hello again! I just recently got this ides  
and just couldn't wait to get it out of my skin,  
it has seriously been nagging at me to write. **

**So this was the prologue where Elaina, obviously  
my OC was introduced... sort of.**

**Uhm... Oh, I don't know James' parents' real names**  
**so I made them up. But, if anybody does happen to know**  
**please tell me and I will go back and fix this.**

**Thanks for reading! And please review and let me know what you thought! :) **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 6/13/12**


	2. Survivor

**Ch. 1 - Survivor **

_And you, my father, there on that sad height,_  
_Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray._  
_Do not go gentle into that good night._  
_Rage, rage against the dying of the light._  
- Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, Dylan Thomas

The only reason I survived what happened was because of my father. Demetri Cochran, as pureblooded as the Blacks, and the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Ever since all the commotion with You-Know-Who started, he taught me how to properly defend myself, to do whatever I thought necessary to be a survivor; to fight to my last drop of blood, to the last beat of my heart.

My mother and father knew that because of the powerful position my father held in the Ministry, You-Know-Who was trying to recruit him to his twisted ideaology. But my father was too much of an honorable and good man to even think about agreeing. Yes, my father agreed with the preservation of pureblooded lines, but he also understood that times were changing and Purebloods like my family were slowly but surely becoming a dying breed. The _wizarding world_ was changing, Muggleborns were more common nowadays, and blood-status no longer held very much credence. The stigma was no longer placed on Half-Bloods and Muggleborns, but on Purebloods, because it was believed that if you were pureblooded sooner or later whether by coercion, Imperius Curse, or free will you would join He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Like my father, I also held the mentality of preserving pureblooded lines, but in order for our world and our kind to exist and thrive and evolve it had to first change; but this change would not be brought about by eradicating Muggleborns, Muggles, or anyone else deemed "unworthy" and "unclean". It would not be brought about by dehumanizing our peers. Pureblooded lines were becoming thinner and shorter; however, unlike the English Royalty of centuries past, we were not learning quite as quickly that it was not a good idea to marry, and reproduce with, your first cousin. The first rule of genetics is to spread the genes apart, marrying a cousin you're really just scraping the bottom of the barrel. Purebloods were obsessed with it which is probably why their IQ's and mental stability circled the drain along the way.

My friends at school were mostly purebloods, children I had known since I was in diapers, before You-Know-Who began his rise. The majority of them were Slytherins, while I was sorted into Gryffindor. At first my friends were put off by the golden lion crest attached to the front of my school robes, but I made a point to make them realize that it didn't change who I was and after that, it was no longer about what house I was in. As the school years passed, I heard my friends talk about their parents and how they had decided to join someone leading a crusade to "cleanse" the wizarding world of those unfit to be wizards. Then as we became upperclassmen, it was no longer about their parents, but their older siblings and cousins joining what were now being hailed as "Death Eaters". Soon enough, some of them were talking excitedly about becoming Death Eaters themselves when they graduated.

When the conversations I was involved in switched to what I thought about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and the "work" his Death Eaters were doing, I always gave a general response and quickly changed the topic. I didn't want to lose my friends because I didn't believe the same things they did. And over time as I got more mature, I realized they weren't really my friends. Eleven year olds don't particularly like change, so I had clung to the childhood friendships I had gleaned and everything that they entailed, not realizing until it was too late to make much of difference that I hardly even _liked_ the people I called my friends. And I figured it was too late to stop being friends with them to find new ones. I figured that when I graduated I would start a clean slate and find new friends I actually liked.

**-:-**

The night _it_ happened, I woke up to my bedroom door being blasted in. I fell from the edge of my bed and was sprawled on the floor, trying to fully wake up when I felt someone grab a fist full of my hair at the crown before they began to drag me out of my room. All the way, thumping down the stairs, I tried to get the person who had me by my hair to let me go, screaming at them that I would kill them despite the fact that my wand was clear upstairs in my room. The closer we got to the bottom of the stairs, over my angry shouts, I could hear my mother, Arlene Cochran, crying.

I knew it must've been a man that had a hold of me as soon as we entered the front parlor he literally lifted me off the ground and threw me in front of him. I pushed myself up onto my hands and took in my surroundings. My mother and father were facing opposite each other on their knees and we were surrounded by four cloaked figures wearing skeletal masks all of whom had their wands out. My heart moved into overdrive, threatening to burst through my chest and my fear tasted acrid in my mouth, crowding in the back of my dry throat.

Whoever pulled me from my room, grabbed the back of my shirt and jerked me to my knees. I could feel the tip of his wand pressing just behind my ear. My father's eyes darted to mine and held my gaze steady, his expression a determined mask, but it in no way choked or diminished the abject _fear_ I could see in them. I had never seen my father afraid in my life, and the way it glittered in his eyes made me realize just how hopeless of a situation my family had found itself in.

"You will submit to the Dark Lord," a voice sneered, addressing my father.

"I will not," my father stated firmly, eyes still on me.

A beat of tense silence. "_Crucio!_"

My mother and I screamed alongside my father as he crumpled under the curse. I watched his muscles seize and tense, the sweat begin to pour from his brow as his body twisted into positions a man his age never should. His eyes glazed over as they darted around wildly and they were _empty_, lost in the pain rolling through him. The Death Eater lifted the curse leaving my father panting on the floor. After a moment, he blinked, refocusing his gaze before he raised himself back to his knees, somehow still defiant.

"This is the last time we will ask you nicely, Demetri," another Death Eater to my right said.

"You can ask me however many times you like, my answer will not change." His voice was weak from screaming, but still steady.

"Perhaps you are in need of a little more persuasion."

Next thing I knew, I was knocked to my stomach and rolled over to look up at the Death Eater who dragged me down the stairs. With his foot pressing painfully against my ribs he pointed his wand just under my collarbone, and I don't know what spell he used, but suddenly I felt the curse cutting through my skin like fire. The pressure of his foot against my ribs didn't matter anymore in comparison to the spell cutting through my chest. I began to thrash violently causing him to increase his weight on my ribs until I felt one of them crack and the pain redoubled.

"Stop! Stop it please!" My mother cried out.

In my peripheral, I watched my mother get up from her knees with lightning speed - she had been a seeker in her school years and had even played professionally for a quite a few years before retiring. My mother got up, and lunged for the Death Eater torturing me, the other three were shocked into inactivity and didn't have time to stop her before she shoved the Death Eater away from me. As soon as the curse stopped, I curled into myself feeling blood bloom from the edges of the wound as I tried to catch my breath.

"Meddlesome woman! _Avada Kedavra!_"

I heard my father scream in horror and behind my eyelids I saw a flash of light and heard something heavy thump to the floor. I dared open my eyes and my shriek locked itself in my throat as I met my mother's dead, unseeing eyes. I clenched my eyes shut, willing this to be a horrendous nightmare that I would wake up from any moment. But the throbbing pain in my ribs and the burning across my chest told me otherwise. This was worse than any nightmare my subconscious could create.

Opening my eyes again, I lifted my shaking body back to my hands and knees. My eyes roamed up to my father, the devastation of seeing my mother, the love of his life, murdered before his eyes painted across his features. I turned my head to my mother's body, the crushing weight of sadness filling my heart. Here was a woman who was brilliant and bold, loving and courageous reduced to a lifeless corpse. It was her blood that had landed me in Gryffindor.

Just at the knees of my mother's corpse lay the Death Eater's wand. The Death Eater who had been torturing me and the one who killed my mother were currently squabbling over her death because apparently it had been the Dark Lord's orders not to kill anyone of us yet and should we continue to refuse to join his ranks we were to be taken to the Dark Lord himself. Before the rational half of my mind had caught up, I found myself reaching for the wand.

Everything seemed to happen so quickly then. I charmed a chair to levitate and slam into the two arguing Death Eaters while my father sprang to his feet and made quick work of the Death Eater who had him on his knees and took his wand. "Elaina, run!" he shouted to me, throwing a curse at the other Death Eater still standing. It threw him against the wall violently, dislodging the adornments and decor before he fell to the floor. He wasn't getting up any time soon.

"I won't leave you!" I told him fiercely, going to stand near him so we were back to back, as the two Death Eaters I knocked down began to rise and regain themselves.

The Death Eater's wand still clasped tightly in my hand, my father and I began to fight for our lives. But somehow we weren't fighting for them; to me it seemed we were trying to avenge my mother. Jinxes and Curses were cast and blocked, repelled and redirected. The downstairs level of my home had suddenly become a war zone and would look it by the time we were done.

After a long and arduous fight, my father and I stood in the foyer of our home breathing heavily, slicked with sweat. At my feet lay the Death Eater that killed my mother, the last light of his life leaving his eyes as his blood seeped from the open wounds across his chest. It was a curse a friend at school had invented and told me about. I wasn't entirely sure I had the incantation right, but it did the job just fine. Although I had taken his life, it was not with an Unforgivable Curse, my soul was still intact… if tainted.

"I need to send a message to Perkins," my father mumbled to himself as he raised the wand and out exploded his Patronus - a cheetah. Then my father turned to me and gripped me by the shoulders, "I need you to go pack, we need to go somewhere to hide. Now -"

A flash of green and my father's word were cut off as his weight slumped against me almost knocking me over. "Father!" I cried as his body slipped out of my arms. "Father, no!"

I looked up. The Death Eater my father had knocked against the wall earlier stood with his wand still raised. I managed to avoid the next curse he threw at me, but just barely as I felt it graze my cheek. I realized the only chance I had now was to run, and after I sent a spell that knocked the Death Eater from his feet, I did just that. Out the front door and down the lawn, my path illuminated by the Dark Mark cast above my house, until I felt a spell hit me in the back checking my momentum violently as it sent me tumbling to the ground.

And suddenly, I realized I never knew pain before that moment. He had sent the Cruciatus Curse at me and it hit its mark between my shoulder blades. I writhed, screaming myself hoarse as my body contorted itself into positions I didn't know it was capable of. It felt like every inch of my skin was on fire and I marveled at the fact that I didn't smell burnt flesh. It felt like every single one of my bones was breaking and healing only to break itself again. It seemed that my heart was beating only to send rippling pain through every vein and capillary. And all I wished for was the sweet release death would bring from the pain.

When the curse lifted, I wanted to cry in relief, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "We came here for the three of you," he mused thoughtfully, "but one is better than nothing I suppose."

I waited until he was within my line of sight. When I saw his figured outlined by the night sky above us, nothing more than a shadow, I sent my Stinging Hex. He cried out in pain and fell to his knees. Groaning with the effort and running on pure adrenaline, I managed to drag myself to my feet and headed to the winding woods that surrounded my house.

Low hanging branches caught in my hair and tugged my clothes, their ends scraping my face and exposed skin, the twigs and rocks digging into the bottoms of my feet. The Death Eater could follow me into these woods all he liked, but he would never find me. I had grown up playing in these woods and knew its secrets. These woods were _alive_, as long as you respected the trees and the things that thrived in this forest you were fine. But the moment you stepped into them with cruel intentions and began disrespecting nature, the problem arose. I heard way too many tales of people venturing into these woods never to be seen or heard from again.

Although I tripped several times on my way there, I found the tree that I was looking for, one I had frequently played in as a child. It was large and the trunk twisted up into the branches, but at the base was a hollow opening. I hid myself in it, pressing myself into the darkness as I watched the Death Eater following me amble through the roots in his search, occasionally throwing a curse when he heard a noise.

After about ten minutes of his fruitless search, the trees had enough. I watched his death by the light of his own wand as the tree shifted, its branches reached down and plucked him from the ground, lifting him into the air. The branches wrapped around his body, encircled his neck until he was sputtering for air. Even over the rustling of the trees, I heard the last choking noise he made when the bones of his neck gave way under the pressure of the branches. He was dropped to the ground, and tree went back to its original place.

I stepped out of my hiding place, and headed back to my home, limping and holding my ribs. _Surely the Aurors are here by now,_ I thought. And I was right, when I stepped out of the woods, they were all over the place, crawling over the grounds of my home like ants over an anthill. When I got too close, an Auror turned her wand on me.

"Name?" she demanded, her eyes hardened into a steel glare.

"Elaina Cochran," I told her, even though I knew she wouldn't believe me just by telling her. I could've been a Death Eater in disguise for all she knew.

She grabbed me by the arm and, despite the fact that I was clearly injured, all but dragged me back into the house. I tried not to collapse when I saw the sheet that had been laid over where my father fell.

My father's partner, Derek Perkins, was a man about forty years old and he stood over my father's body with a stony expression on his face. The female Auror dragged me to him, and he turned to us when he noticed our approach. As soon as he laid eyes on me, his expression softened into one of relief, but he too seemed to remember that I might not be who I said I was and his face became an expressionless mask that made me want to cry. All I wanted was to see one friendly face.

"She says she's Elaina," the woman told him.

Derek nodded and gestured for the woman to release me, then waved her away. He took a step forward, placing himself between me and my father's body, crossing his arms over his chest as he scrutinized me from head to toe. "If you're Elaina Cochran, tell me, what was your mother's middle name?" Perkins asked.

"Katherine."

He nodded. "Your father's Patronus?"

"A cheetah."

These were the basic questions. He needed to ask me the question that only I would know the real, agreed upon answer to. A question my father told Perkins to ask me should anything ever happen to him. "Finally, what was the most important lesson your father ever taught you?"

I didn't answer right away, allowing my gaze to drift over the number of bodies cluttering my home. "My father considered the most important lesson he taught me to be that if a single person is still standing at the end of a battle, it is considered a victory."

"You disagree?"

My eyes drifted to his. "Always."

Only then did Derek's eyes soften as he breathed a sigh of heavy relief. He closed the three paces distance between us and ignorning the fact that I was covered in mud and offal, put his arms around my shoulders. "I'm glad you're alive, Elaina," he said into my hair, knowing full well that I was not 'okay'.

My father's partner took me to Auror Headquarters, sitting me in an interrogation room and drawing the blinds closed to avoid prying eyes. Derek asked me what happened and I told him, leaving out the fact that I had also been hit with an Unforgivable, recounting it with a detatchment I didn't feel. Somewhere in my re-telling of the horrific events of the night, my adrenaline began ebbing away and my fight or flight response turned off. Then the shock. The complete and utter shut down of my system to do anything except exist.

I was barely aware of the next series of events. My father must've left instructions that should anything ever happen to him and my mother, that I should be passed into the care of my headmaster, Albus Dumbledore to do with whatever he deemed fit. He chatted all along the way, but I could tell that he wasn't expecting me to answer because he left no room for me to do so. All the same, I appreciated him trying to distract me but didn't have the heart nor presence of mind to tell him that it wasn't working.

By the end of the night… or rather, the beginning of the morning, I found myself in a situation I could've never dreamed myself to be in: sleeping in Sirius Black's bed in a spare set of his clothes, and living with James Potter's family.

* * *

**Alright, here you go the first official chapter! :)**

**As the story goes along, chapters that are going to be in Elaina's POV  
will be done in first person like this one and chapters that are going to be  
done in Marauders/Sirius POVs will be in third like the prologue. **

**I would like to thank **_Lux, Lady Gwyn of Loxsley _**and**_ JaneSyke_ **for reviewing the  
last chapter, it really meant a lot to me! I would also like to thank all the people  
who have already added this story to their story/favorite list! You guys are awesome! **

**Please review? I promise I'll answer them! **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 6/13/12**


	3. The Morning After

**Ch. 2 - The Morning After **

_Rejoice, and men will seek you;  
__Grieve, and they turn and go;  
__They want full measure of all your pleasure,  
__But they do not need your woe.  
__Be glad, and your friends are many;  
__Be sad, and you lose them all,—  
__There are none to decline your nectared wine,  
__But alone you must drink life's gall.  
_- Solitude, Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I didn't take the Dreamless Sleep Potion Mrs. Potter left sitting on the nightstand and after what happened to me, you would think that I would have been given nightmares that would wake me screaming. But I didn't. I don't remember falling asleep, I just think the shock and overwhelming weight of the situation exhausted me entirely.

My eyes opened slowly being met with an off-white colored wall and I felt my eyebrows knit together because the walls of my bedroom were plum colored. Then I felt myself begin to panic as I took in the light, musky scent of the pillow beneath my head. I shot up from the bed, instantly regretting the decision when I felt my muscles seize painfully. The pain brought back the memories from the pervious night and I laid back down, bringing my knees to my chest and hugging myself.

How long I stayed like that, trying to keep my misery under control, trying not to scream, I'm not sure. Eventually, there came a soft knock at the door before the person on the otherside let themselves in. I didn't bother looking over my shoulder, just stared at the wall as their footsteps crossed the room and they sat themselves on the edge of the bed.

"Elaina…" It was Mrs. Potter. "I know you just want to stay in bed and mourn all day, but you have to get up, there's someone here that needs to speak with you and it really is important, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't."

Sighing, I sat up, pushing my hair off my forehead as I looked at Mrs. Potter, who smiled. "That's a girl."

She stood up from the bed and made her way toward the door, but I stopped her. "Mrs. Potter?"

Mrs. Potter stopped cold, seeming shocked that I had spoken since I clearly remember being as silent as the grave the previous night. Her expression as she turned was motherly, waiting for me to start blubbering so she could preen over me. But I was stronger than that, my time to mourn was mine and mine alone, I would not share it with anyone. In public, I would be the picture of emotional strength and stability even if it all came crumbling down in private.

"Yes, dear?"

"Thank you for letting me stay here," I told her sincerely. "If there is anything I can do to make my presence less of a burden, please let me know. I'll gladly pay for any hindrance I may cause you and your husband."

For a second, I thought Mrs. Potter was going to be angry with me from the puckered expression that crossed her face. Determinedly, she crossed back to the bed and sat down once again. "You are not a burden, my dear, and I wouldn't dream of asking you to pay anything while you're here. Your mother was a good friend of mine, there was nothing I would not have done for her." Then she smiled widely, and said, "In comparison to my son and Sirius, I think you are going to be a dream to have, and it'll be nice to have another woman in the house."

She rested her hand against my face and stroked my cheek for a moment before she pushed herself back up and walked out of the bedroom. I felt a small smile break across my dry and cracking lips despite everything as I stood from the bed. I caught my reflection out of the corner of my eye and moved to stand before the mirror hanging above the chest of drawers.

I was pale, gaunt, and my hair hung around my face lifelessly. The smaller cuts on my face from the tree branches had healed, but the bigger one going down my cheekbone was still angry and red, and a bruise still circled my right eye. I pulled at the neck of the white t-shirt Sirius lent me the night before examining the gash across my chest. The healing cream hadn't done as nice of a job with it as it had the cuts on my face, the edges of it were puckering up and scabbing. It would be one grotesque scar when it healed.

My muscles ached, especially my back where a few of the spells had made contact, and my head was pounding. Mrs. Potter was right, the only thing I wanted to do was crawl back into Sirius' bed with it's calming and comforting smell and "mourn" all day. However, as Mrs. Potter said, there were people to see me, so I mustered up all my courage and exited Sirius' bedroom, trying to step as lightly as I could since the bottom of my feet, having been torn up by the woods, were still sensitive.

I hurried down the stairs when I saw Derek in the foyer of the house. He turned and smiled at me, taking me in his arms when I reached him, burying his face in my hair where he muttered his condolences and swallowed thickly. Derek had been my father's best friend, it was understandable that he was upset.

"How're you holding up?" he asked me.

"I'm fi -"

Before the lie could leave my lips, my throat closed and I found myself coughing trying to open it back up. Derek pushed me away from him and held me at arm's length with a smirk. "Still can't lie."

I sighed irritably, choosing not to acknowledge his statement. I had hoped that when my father passed away the curse that was placed on me would vanish as well, but apparently not. After my father caught me in one lie too many, the very next day he took me to a Curse Worker, aptly named because curses were what they commonly placed on people, objects or even places. Curse Workers were the reason there was a need for Curse Breakers in the Ministry. But anyway, my father asked this particular Curse Worker to place upon me an enchantment making me _literally_ unable to lie.

It was a terribly frustrating thing at first, being unable to lie. But overtime I came to understand that I could tell half-truths and eventually found a loophole in the enchantment: the truth in scope was not the same thing as the truth in detail. There were very few people who knew that I was incapable of lying, eventually everyone just chalked up me being brutally honest to my personality.

"I've brought something for you," he told me as he released me. He dug into the pocket of his robes, pulled out a small envelope and handed it to me. Opening the envelope I turned the contents into the palm of my hand, my breath leaving my lungs when my father's wedding band and my mother's wedding ring tumbled into my open palm. "I thought you might want them."

I looked up at him, feeling the tears as they gathered in my eyes. "Thank you," I breathed around the tightness of my throat.

He smiled tightly. "Unfortunately, I do not bring all good tidings," he told me reaching into his pocket once again producing a thick envelope. "Dumbledore and I convinced them not to send this last night with what happened…"

I took the envelope from him, and motioned for him to follow me into the kitchen. I swung the door open finding the Potters and Sirius doing various things around the kitchen. Mr. Potter sat at the table reading the _Daily Prophet_, but when he noticed me walk in he quickly folded the paper and laid it face down, but not before I caught sight of the front page story: **Head Auror And Family Killed In Their Home**. James was also sitting at the kitchen table with several pieces of parchment spread in front of him, I assumed he was trying to come up with new Quidditch plays. Sirius and Mrs. Potter were off to the side preparing lunch, at sight at which I almost laughed because I just couldn't imagine Sirius Black in a kitchen, let alone preparing food.

"Hello Elaina," Mr. Potter greeted me cheerily, though he looked at me uneasily as if he was afraid I was going to have a breakdown right there. Then he looked to Derek, and said, "Nice to see you again, Derek."

The other man nodded and crossed to clasp Mr. Potter's hand. "Nathan, always a pleasure."

I crossed to the breakfast bar, dividing the actual kitchen from the area where the kitchen table. "Is there any coffee made?" I asked.

Sirius turned around, a lopsided grin placed on his handsome features. "So you're speaking?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes, full sentences even, fancy that."

Behind him, Mrs. Potter made for the coffee pot and poured a mug, placing it on the counter. "Do you need cream or sugar?" she inquired.

I shook my head, and thanked her. "No, I'll take it black."

I lifted the mug to my lips, inhaling deeply. The smell of coffee always reminded me of my mother because she was constantly drinking it, and I didn't like it black, but that was the way my mother drank it. As I took a sip I made a face at the bitter taste; it was just something I was going to have to get accustomed to, I suppose.

As I drank my bitter and slightly too strong coffee, I opened the envelope that Derek brought me. I read through the letter which unfortunately caused me to spew coffee all over Mrs. Potter's spotless kitchen. I whirled around in the chair, having caught everyone's attention.

"Can they do this!?" I shouted, waving the letter violently. "This is completely ludicrous!"

Derek sighed, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid they can. They were going to detain you last night, but Dumbledore explained what happened, which is why you were brought here and the letter sent today."

"What's it say?" James asked curiously.

I read them the letter from the Ministry. The letter that informed me I had breached the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction for Underage Sorcery the previous night while I was _fighting for my life._ It also went on to further explain that discussion between the Headmaster and Ministry officials had lead to my suspension from Hogwart's until further notice, they were detaining my wand and because of the number of spells I cast, I had a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9am on August 15th. Also, the question whether or not to expel me would also be decided at the hearing.

"No, no, that can't be right!" Mrs. Potter mumbled, taking the letter from my hand and reading it herself despite the fact I had just read it aloud.

"I think I'm going to faint," I muttered, leaning forward and placing my head between my knees. This was quickly becoming too much for me to handle. First my parents were killed and now I had to deal with the possibility of being expelled from school. It was like they were rubbing salt in the already festering wound. There had to be something that could be done, I mean, I turned seventeen two weeks after the set date for the hearing for Merlin's sake!

"It'll be all right," came Sirius's voice followed by a hand on my back. I tried not to flinch at the physical contact from someone I couldn't even consider much of an acquaintance. "They can't expel you for defending your life, it's not right."

"It doesn't mean they won't do just that," Derek quipped. Then he sighed, "I really have to get back. Elaina, I'm sorry for being the bearer of bad news, but I'll be back later today with your things from your home."

I sat up and smiled at my father's friend. "Thank you, Derek," I told him with all the sincerity I could.

He cast me a slow smile before he walked into the living room and flooed out, presumably back to the Ministry. I turned back to my half empty cup of coffee and sat in silence. Everyone went back to what they were doing before my outburst. Mrs. Potter placed a small plate of sandwiches in front of me, which I ignored because I had no appetite at all.

At some point in the afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Potter left the kitchen making their way to the living room leaving me with James and Sirius in the kitchen. I felt the awkward and tense silence began to build as they tried to stay focused on their Quidditch plays and I tried to stay focused on my coffee. The three of us had never been alone in a room together, let alone within twenty feet of one another. I tried my best to avoid James and Sirius, and their motley group of friends as best I could. The only marginally normal one was Remus and I only talked to him when I needed help in Transfiguration, or he needed help in Charms.

I heard shuffling behind me and the next thing I knew, James was on the otherside of the counter and Sirius was standing next to me.

"Can I help you two?" I asked, looking between them.

"You're going to be okay, Elaina," James said, and I was shocked. Out of his group of friends, James was always the one who showed the most contempt for me.

I scoffed feeling the tightness return to my throat, "I doubt that."

"You are," Sirius said next. "Just know: you can come talk to us."

"Since when are we on friendly terms? We don't even speak to one another at school. I don't need your insincere pity and sympathy nor do I want it," I told them both bitterly.

James smiled half-heartedly, while Sirius gave a barking laugh. "It's not insincere," Sirius said. "Think about it Elaina, your parents were killed by Death Eaters, if I'm right it's for refusing to join that crack pot they call a leader. Most of your so-called friends at school are wannabe Death Eaters and their parents are Death Eaters. They're not going to give you the time of day now, would it really hurt to have someone on your side?"

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded.

"Well, being that we are big, strong men and you are the more fragile sex, it is our caveman instincts telling us to protect you!" James said cheekily.

I rolled my eyes, while Sirius clapped James on the shoulder and led him away. "Just think about it, Elaina, okay?"

Slowly, I felt my blood run cold in my veins because James and Sirius were right. Like my pureblooded friends, I should've been holding You-Know-Who on a pedestal, praising his name. My thoughts should've been on joining him instead of focused on my raw, seething hatred for him. The other Death Eaters who learned of my family's murder, and the deaths of those who killed them would tell their families: my friends' families. They would say that my parents were killed because of their refusal to join You-Know-Who, and they would see that my family's murder was justified. They would say that I should've pledged my allegiance to the Dark Arts and the Dark Lord instead of fought for my life. My friends would outcast me, their parents having told them not to associate with me any longer.

I was a Blood Traitor.

* * *

**Alrighty, here's chapter two, yay! **

**Lots has happened already! There's going to be a few chapters before  
we get to Elaina's hearing, there's still the issue of making arrangments for  
her parents' funeral, and what to do with their will... stuff like that. It is all  
going to be emotionally taxing on Elaina and who is going to be there to comfort her?  
Why yummy Sirius of course! ;D ... oh, and James too. **

**Anywho... I would like to thank everyone that has enjoyed this story  
already! It's really the best feeling in the world to know people are  
liking it. And I would like to thank... **_AuntMo_**, **_Lux_**, **_JaneSkye_**, **_cocogirl198_** and **_Reeney Umbra_**  
for reviewing the last chapter!**

**Please review? **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/3/2013**


	4. Arrangements

**Ch. 3 - Arrangements**

_The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,  
But I have promises to keep,  
And miles to go before I sleep,  
And miles to go before I sleep.  
_- Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost

When I expressed my desire later in the day to take a shower, Mr. and Mrs. Potter merely smiled knowingly at me and told me to follow them. Confused, I did just that, trailing behind them as we walked into the living room with James and Sirius following me. We stopped in the middle of the living room and I looked around, puzzled, unsure of how the living room had anything to do with me wanting to take a shower. And then I noticed a door in the corner of the room that I didn't remember being there.

"We couldn't very well have you staying in Sirius' room the whole time you're here, so Maryann and I put another room on for you," Mr. Potter said, opening the door and pushing it inward.

I stepped into the small hallway that had a bathroom just to my left before entering the actual room. It was the same size as James' and Sirius'. The walls were not a color I would have chosen; a dark rosy pink, but I was not going to complain. The furniture was beautiful, dark cherry wood with rosettes carved into the headboard of the bed and on the drawers of the vanity, dresser and desk. A small love seat and wing-back chair sat at the end of the queen sized bed, covered in a fluffy white comforter. And, probably best of all, in the center of the room were all the things Derek promised he would bring over.

I turned around, facing the Potters and Sirius standing in what was now my room. "Thank you, but this… this is too much. I would've been more than happy to sleep on the couch."

"Nonsense!" Maryann gasped. "You're going to be here until the end of August and probably for a little while after your graduate, you need your own room. We decided to put it down here so you might have some semblance of privacy and so you wouldn't have to share a bathroom with James and Sirius."

The boys chuckled to themselves while she continued, "I also took the liberty of picking up some… _things_ you may end up needing." Maryann gave me a pointed look and I understood what she meant immediately. She had gone and picked me up any hygiene and feminine products I might have need for, I just hoped it included an Anti-Cramping Elixir.

I nodded, casting her a smile. "Thank you for your kindness Mr. and Mrs. Potter, I really appreciate this."

"Well, we'll let you get acquainted with your room!" Mr. Potter clapped his hands together and then led his wife out of my room leaving me with James and Sirius for a second time that day.

"Well, well, you really made out," James said, sauntering over to the loveseat and plopping down. "These are pretty fancy digs."

"James," I said turning and placing my hands on my hips. "Does the lovely Miss Evans know there is another member of the opposite sex living with you now?"

His eyes narrowed at my mention of Lily. I knew they had started dating about a month before the end of sixth year (hell, he announced it to the whole Great Hall during breakfast), which was only about two and a half weeks ago; so by my calculation they had only been together for a month and a half. I could see the gears turning in his head, trying to figure out what my end game was in bringing her up. Sirius too was looking between the two of us wondering what was going to happen.

"No…" he said slowly.

"Well, you might want to owl her and let her know before she finds out herself," I told him.

His eyes widened as he cursed under his breath and sprang from the seat, all but sprinting out of the room. Sirius nearly doubled over in laughter, holding a stitch in his side. I rolled my eyes and moved to start putting away some of my things; I had only wanted to get him out of my room, there had been no need for the theatrics. Sirius I didn't mind so much, he could actually weigh the silence and determine whether or not words were appropriate unlike his bespectacled best friend.

"That was clever," Sirius said, now taking the seat James previously occupied.

"I just wanted him out of here," I told him, taking some of my clothes and hanging them up in the closet. "He talks too much."

"So you don't mind me being here?"

I shook my head. "I didn't say that, now did I? I just figured I'd get rid of James more easily than I would you, seeing as you deem a conversation finished when you've had your say."

"Merlin!" Sirius exclaimed, standing from the loveseat and brushing nonexistent dust from his jeans. "Listen to the way you talk, you really are a Pureblood, aren't you?"

I turned around to look at him, unsure if I should've been offended or not. "And just what is that supposed to mean? Is there something the matter with the way I speak?"

Sirius shrugged, placing his hands in his pockets, and jutted out one hip. "You don't always have to be so proper and… distant. Have some fun once in awhile, you'll find you enjoy life a little more."

I made a sound at the back of my throat and returned to putting my things away. As I placed a picture of my parents on their wedding day on the vanity I told him, "You'll forgive me if I can't find too much about life to enjoy right now." I turned back to Sirius, "Now, I'd really like to take a shower and would appreciate it if you weren't here when I got out."

Again, Sirius shrugged and shook some of his dark hair out of his eyes. "I'm only trying to help."

I sighed, "I'm a ways beyond help right now, Sirius."

I didn't wait to see Sirius leave my room, merely glided past him into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly and pressing my forehead against it for a moment. The boy's footsteps passed by the bathroom door and out of the room, before the door closed with a click.

The shower was deeply relaxing. The steaming water lifted the dirt and grime, sweat and dried blood from my skin as I scrubbed it clean. I tugged fiercely at the knots in my thick hair, and dumped several handfuls of different hair potions onto my head to make my hair somewhat manageable after it dried. I allowed myself to disassociate from my current state and situation. The only thing I was aware of was the steam filling the bathroom and the water pressure pounding against my skin, working what tension it could out of my muscles.

Several minutes later, I stepped out wrapping a towel around myself and wringing out my hair. I couldn't help but smile when I noticed the small jar of the healing cream Mrs. Potter had used the previous night sitting on the counter. I wiped the moisture from the mirror and proceeded to spread the healing cream over the steadily shrinking gash on my cheek, but decided against putting it on the one across my chest. From the way it reacted to the cream last time I figured it would maybe heal better without it.

_It feels nice to be in my own clothing,_ I thought to myself, smoothing out the wrinkles in my t-shirt. I made a mental note to wash the clothes Sirius let me borrow before I gave them back to him.

Then, there was a knock at the door followed by: "Elaina, there's someone here to see you."

_Again? _I thought, indignantly. _Why am I so popular today? _

I threw my hair into a messy ponytail at the back of my head before exiting my bedroom. The person to see me immediately stood from the couch as I entered the room. It was an ancient man in solemn black and gray robes, his half-moon glasses perched on the end of his long nose. The light and life in his cool green eyes seemed a juxtaposition to the withering curvature of his spine.

"Ah," I said. "Mr. Klein, I had a fleeting suspicion it might've been you to see me."

The man smiled and bowed his head to me. "Miss Cochran, despite the circumstances, I must say it is lovely to see you. Your father left instructions to where I would find you should anything happen to him and your mother."

So my father hadn't left me in Dumbledore's care like I had originally thought. I was always supposed to end up with the Potters. Oddly, this didn't shock me, Mrs. Potter had said that she and my mother were good friends. It must've been my mother who assured my father I'd be safe with them. Dumbledore's appearance at the Ministry was simply because I was one of his students, and to see what he could do to prevent them from snapping my wand in half right then and there. Since there was obviously no one else to defend me besides Derek, but he was just _one_ Auror, and in conjunction with my Headmaster they at least bought me time.

I nodded. "Well, I believe we have some things to discuss then."

Morbid though it may seem, Mr. Klein was my family's undertaker. The last time I saw him was when my grandmother on my father's side died when I was nine. He'd arranged the funerals and memorial services for the Cochran family for generation upon generation. He looked after the family mausoleum, kept it in pristine condition, just waiting for another member of my family to die. Now my parents had, and I was the last one left.

"So, did you have any ideas about what you wanted to do?" Mr. Klein asked me, taking out a small book to take notes.

"I hadn't really given it much thought, to be honest. I've been too busy hoping it has been a nightmare."

Mr. Klein smiled kindly resting his aged hand on mine. "I know this must be much harder than you're letting on, and for handling it with such grace and strength your parents would be very proud." I nodded, unable to say my thanks and let him continue, "And I'm also here to help you. So, what kind of urns would you like their remains placed in? Stained Glass, as I've come to understand, has been very popular lately. Or we could use the standard of precious metals, inlay some jewels…"

I thought for a moment. Unlike many mausoleums, where tombs and caskets were held, my family's held row upon row of urns. And I was well aware that other members of my family had chosen fantastically decorated urns for their remains to be placed in the mausoleum. My grandmother's had certainly been a sight; gaudy, just like she was and encircled in diamonds, rubies, emeralds and sapphires. But my parents were never the kind of people to show off their wealth, nor do I believe they would want their urns to be lavishly decorated.

I shook my head and answered, "No, nothing fancy or ostentatious. Let's just go with… white gold trimmed in rose gold for both of them."

Mr. Klein nodded as he made a note in his little book. "Very elegant choice. Do you want anything engraved on them?"

"Just their names and that they we -" My voice cracked with emotion and I took a moment to swallow the despair. The longer I continued this exchange with Mr. Klein, the more control I lost. And it also made me terrifyingly _aware_ that I was the last surviving member of my family and that death would never be far enough away from me and my life. Taking a deep breath through my nose I continued, "Just their names and that they were devoted spouses and loving parents, respectively of course."

Mr. Klein made another little note and looked up at me again, adjusting his spectacles. "Very good. Just one more thing, will you have a memorial service before placing the urns in the mausoleum?"

Despite my urge to tell him no, I nodded and said, "Yes. They had many friends, it wouldn't be right not let them say good-bye."

"Alright then," he said, closing his book and placing it within the folds of his robes. "Gather what pictures and mementos you can from their life for the memorial service. Whitehaven will open in two days when the new moon arrives. Can you be ready then?"

I smiled without humor. "I don't really think I have much choice, do I?" I wondered, flatly.

Mr. Klein left then biding me farewell and his deepest condolences, flooing out while I simply sat there on the couch. I wanted to scream all of a sudden, to let my agony tear my vocal chords to shreds, but instead opted for curling my hands into fists until I felt my nails leaving crescent shaped indents in the soft flesh of my palms. I felt the tears brimming in my eyes while my jaw trembled. Having made the arrangements for my parents' funeral somehow made their deaths _real_ to me. I could distance myself from it until now because I hadn't actually had to face it, and it made the world a much darker place now that I had.

But the minute I heard the door to the kitchen swing open, the tears were gone.

"Elaina? How'd it go?" Maryann asked, sitting beside me.

I cleared my throat and told her, "The memorial service is in two days and at that time I'll place their urns in my family's mausoleum." I turned to look at her, suddenly struck by how much James bore an uncanny resemblance to his mother. "If you happen to have any pictures of you and my mum from when you were kids, I'd appreciate them to be set up at the service."

She nodded solemnly smoothing my fly-aways from my face. "We'll hold a get together here afterward, if that's all right with you."

"That's perfectly all right with me," I told her standing from my seat. I was not about to tell her that she couldn't invite people to her own house. "If you'll excuse me, I really have no appetite for dinner, I'd really like to put the rest of my things away and go to bed."

As I made my way to my bedroom, I heard Mrs. Potter stand from the couch as well and walk back into the kitchen. And as the door swung shut I heard James: "Well, did you ask her?"

"James!" his father snapped. "It is not your mother's place to ask her such a question, nor do I believe it is yours. But if you want to ask her you go right ahead and make an idiot of yourself!"

"Fine, I will!" he replied defiantly.

I was closing my door when I heard James call my name. I ignored him, but didn't close my door all the way and a moment later, after knocking, he was striding in with Sirius. "Elaina?"

I sighed, "What James?"

Something in my expression must've shocked the two boys because I watched the fire die in James' caramel eyes while Sirius' face twisted into a look I couldn't identify. Losing his former temper, James began wringing his hands in front of him anxiously.

"I was just wondering, would it be all right with you if Lily came with me… you know, to your parents' service?"

"If this were a normal funeral situation, I promise, I wouldn't mind," I told him. "Unfortunately it's not. Lily can come to the get together your mum wants to hold after services, but the services themselves she cannot attend."

His eyebrows slammed together and the fire returned to his eyes. Surely he was thinking this was a Pureblood supremacy situation, that _I _didn't want Lily there because she was a Muggleborn, but that wasn't it at all. "Why?" he demanded.

"… Where are your parents being laid to rest?" Sirius asked behind him.

"Whitehaven," I replied, knowing he would understand. And from the way he nodded, I knew he did. I directed my attention back to James, who had his hands balled into fists at his sides. "The cemetery where my parents will be laid to rest is a centuries old Pureblood cemetery. No Muggle, Muggleborn, or Half-Blood has _ever _set foot in it and there is a Bloodline Enchantment that ensure none ever will. So I'm sorry James, but Lily cannot come."

James' previous anger seemed to lessen as he nodded. "I'm sorry for asking," he told me sincerely.

Having no energy to talk to them anymore, nor any more patience to pretend otherwise I simply nodded and started putting away my things. On their way out I heard Sirius hiss to James, "Are you proud of yourself Prongs?"

I just shook my head as I closed my door behind them.

* * *

**Alright, here is the third chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it! **

**Uhm... next chapter I think I might do in Sirius and James' POV.  
I'm not sure yet, I haven't fully decided. But I think I want the  
memorial service and placing the urns in the mausoleum and  
Elaina's emotional state to be viewed by outside parties. **

**But I suppose we'll see when I post the next chapter, huh? **

**I posted a character concept of Elaina on my bio-page  
so if you're curious how I picture her in my head, go check that out! :) **

**Next, my favorite thing in the world... REVIEWS! **

**I would lovelovelove to thank: **_JuniperSkye_**, **_blahblahblah43_**,  
**_AuntMo_**, **_shorty_**, and of course **_JaneSkye _**for reviewing!  
You guys rock my world! :D **

**Please review? **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/1/2013**


	5. Laid to Rest

**Ch. 4 - Laid to Rest **

_I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,_  
_And Mourners to and fro_  
_Kept treading-treading-till it seemed_  
_That Sense was breaking through-_

_And when they all were seated,  
A Service, like a Drum-  
Kept beating-beating-till I thought  
My Mind was going numb-  
-_Emily Dickinson_  
_

As she stood in the kitchen, Maryann Potter sighed impatiently looking to the watch on her wrist. "Why am I the only one that is ever ready on time? You would think it was the woman of the house who was always running late… not in this house."

Sirius couldn't help but chuckle from his place at the table as he lifted a can of Coca-Cola to his mouth. It was a muggle soda that Mr. Potter always kept in the house and over his time living with them, Sirius had become quite addicted to the stuff. He watched Mrs. Potter pace the kitchen, the fabric of her knee length, black skirt swishing against her legs. Sirius set his can down as his hands started to work with the last couple of buttons on his dress shirt leaving the top one undone and leaving the grey vest over it undone as well.

A moment later, James and his father marched into the kitchen. Mr. Potter was finishing knotting his tie while James was struggling with his as evidenced by the way his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth.

"Oh Merlin!" Maryann sighed. "James come here." Like the mummy's boy that he was, James stepped forward in front of his mother, defeated, and while she skillfully knotted his tie, Sirius imagined the hundreds of times she must've done the same for Mr. Potter. As she tried unsuccessfully to tame James' unruly black hair, she turned to Sirius. "Would you please go check on Elaina and make sure she's ready? We have to leave in less than ten minutes."

"Sure, Mum," he replied as he stood.

Sirius knocked on Elaina's bedroom door and after a moment let himself in. He found Elaina pacing the room with her hands on her hips, taking several steadying breaths. The back of her dress wasn't zipped yet and occasionally, she paused to push a sleeve back up her arm as it slid over the curve of her shoulder. Elaina had coifed her hair to the back of her head, holding it there with several pins and allowing some of it to fall around her face - despite the circumstances she looked lovely. In one of her hands he noticed that she held a crumpled up piece of parchment.

_She's not ready for this_, Sirius thought to himself as he called her name.

Elaina turned to look at him, her eyes bright and wild, and for the first time since she arrived, Sirius didn't see the wall Elaina put around herself in her eyes. The startled expression on her face gave way to one of complete and utter resignation.

"I can't do this," she whispered, but turned away before he could see the tears gather in the corners of her eyes.

Silently, Sirius crossed the room until he was standing behind Elaina. Reaching out, he drew the zipper up the back of Elaina's dress. He had expected her to try and stop him, but she didn't and Sirius couldn't help but find it a little weird how comfortable he had felt zipping up her dress, like it was something he did everyday. And suddenly he was reminded why he found it weird when he recalled just a few moments ago, watching Mr. Potter knot his tie and wondering how many times Mrs. Potter had knotted it for him. Zipping up the back of Elaina's dress was something too intimate for them to share seeing as they couldn't even call themselves friends yet.

Sirius looked up, noticing that Elaina was looking at his reflection in her vanity mirror with a wary and puzzled expression on her face. He met her gaze and choosing to not showcase his own sudden discomfort that their proximity, told her, "You'll be fine. You have James and me, as well as Maryann and Nathan to lean on."

She turned to face him, and he noticed that unlike Maryann, Elaina hadn't chosen black. Her dress was a dark navy and hugged her not unsubstantial curves. The asymmetrical neckline laid diagonally across her chest and successfully covered the large cut that still marred her skin; which is why Elaina probably picked the dress. She crossed to her bed, picking up a thin black belt sliding it through the loops around her waist before she sat to slip into her black t-strap high heels.

"This is far beyond my maturity level," Elaina told him, buckling her right shoe. "I should not have to lay my parents to rest while the suffix 'teen' is still attached to my age."

Sirius didn't know whether he envied Elaina for having parents who loved her and actually cared about her, and she loved enough to mourn; or whether he felt sorry for her because now that they had died, Elaina would carry the grief of their passing for the rest of her life. But he wondered how long Elaina would hold onto her pain after the services. Would she be the typical Pureblood and mourn and grieve up until services and after that never think of it again? Or would she be human and keep it in, though never far from her thoughts?

"We should go, Maryann's getting impatient," Sirius said. He didn't know what else to say to her.

Elaina nodded and sighed as she stood, now nearly the same height as Sirius in her high heels. Picking up the box that held the items she would be setting up at the service, she led the way out of her room and into the kitchen. As soon as she walked in, Mr. Potter stepped forward taking the box from her arms, then shrunk the box and its contents before placing them in his pocket.

"All right, Elaina?" James asked. He hadn't said much to her since he made an arse of himself asking if Lily could attend the services.

She nodded quirking a half-smile, telling James, "I'll be better once this is over and done with."

"We should get going," Maryann announced, holding up the memorial service notification that would serve as a portkey to the funeral home.

Gathering around Mrs. Potter, they all placed their hands on the notification and after Mr. Potter counted down from three, Sirius felt the jarring sensation of being tugged forward by his navel.

**-:- **

When they landed, both Maryann and Elaina immediately began to fix their suddenly mussed appearances. Maryann, smoothing the wrinkles in her blouse and skirt, and Elaina, securing her hair pins and twisting her dress so it was facing the right away once again. The men simply brushed themselves off and looked in mild amusement as the two women tried to make themselves look like they had at the house.

The sun hung low in the sky casting the land in soft fading light, crickets could be heard sharing their songs and fireflies winked in the approaching sunset. Usually, funeral services would be held during the day, but Whitehaven Cemetery only opened once a month during the new moon, in the complete darkness of the night. The last time Sirius himself was there was when his Great Aunt Lycoris passed away when he was five years old.

They approached the funeral home passing a decrepit sign that read 'Whitehaven Funeral Home'. The house looked like it belonged in the Victorian Era, possessing many turrets with light blue siding and white shutters on the windows. Elaina led the way, holding her head high and walking confidently, though Sirius wondered if her jaw was clenched to keep it from trembling, if she was rapidly blinking her eyes to stop tears.

Elaina knocked three times before the door opened itself, and coming to meet them in the foyer was Mr. Klein, the man Elaina spoke to about arranging the services. "Welcome, welcome, you're all right on time," he greeted them cheerily, despite the depressing matters at hand. "Elaina, if you'll just go through that door there, you can begin setting things up, your parents' urns are already there."

While Mr. Potter removed the box of her parents' personal effects, Sirius watched Elaina physically go ashen at the mention of her parents' remains. Silently, she nodded, took the box from Nathan and solidered into the other room where the services would be taking place. Mr. Klein pulled aside James' parents and spoke to them in another room, leaving the two boys alone.

"I dunno, mate," James said, running a hand through his hair. "I think Elaina's going to have a breakdown and I wouldn't blame her if she did."

Sirius shook his head, disagreeing. "Not in front of everyone she won't," he told James. "She's too proud. She'll swallow it until she's alone, or…"

"Or?" James said looking at Sirius out of the corner of her eye.

"Or until it kills her."

James and Sirius headed to the room Elaina had entered earlier. It was a large room, what would be the parlor if the house were actually inhabited. Against the left wall sat a long table that Elaina had covered in a lacy cloth and placed her parents' urns on top. Scattered along the table were several pictures of her parents' life: one of their wedding day, one of Mrs. Cochran holding Elaina when she was born; another of her father reading a bedtime story to her when she was no older than six, of her dancing with Mr. Cochran at a party, Elaina standing on his feet. There were at least a dozen more and all held smiling, happy faces. Inside these photographs was the life Elaina would never have again.

Then there were other things besides the photographs. Arlene's broom from when she played for the Holyhead Harpies as well as her figurine zooming around the table. Demetri's violin, clearly well-loved from the wear marks on the bow along with some of his hand written scores.

James and Sirius found Elaina standing in front of the table, her hand placed on one of the urns, gently rubbing her thumb along the rim of the lid. She hadn't noticed them come in, or if she did, she didn't acknowledge them. James took a seat in one of the chairs that had been set up, and Sirius followed, but didn't sit. They simply waited for Elaina to realize they were in the room with her, to take the moment she seemed to need with her parents' urns.

And then, before they realized what was happening, Elaina was speaking. "How can this be all that life amounts to?" she mused aloud. "You work, and strive, and pain your entire life and for what? A death that's always waiting just around the corner? What's the point of even being born if, minute by minute, you're working towards death; what's the point of living?"

She turned to look at them, expectant, as if she truly wanted the answers to her inquiries. Sirius opened his mouth to answer her, but found that for once in his life, he had no words. And oh, how he wished he did because it wasn't right that this one loss, though exorbitant, was making Elaina bitterly question her existence.

But where Sirius could not find words, his best friend could.

"To say you lived," James said, meeting Elaina's hardened gaze. "The point of living is to say that you lived," he took a breath " - that you lived, and laughed, and… loved. To say that you knew friendship and passion, that you took the good with the bad and came out stronger for it in the end."

Elaina looked down and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. And although she said nothing as she walked from the room, James couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself.

But Sirius turned and looked at James like he had no idea who he was. "Who are you and what have you done with my best mate?"

**-:-**

The memorial service passed like a blur almost. So many people showed up and were introduced to James and Sirius either by Elaina or by Mr. and Mrs. Potter that after awhile they stopped trying to remember names. No one had expected the number of people that made an appearance, whether they stayed merely to pay their short respects and condolences to Elaina, or they planned to stay for the entire service.

When Mr. Klein announced that it was time to begin the service, everyone walked into the parlor, many people having to stand for the shortage of chairs. It wasn't very long, short and to the point. Mr. Klein brought them together in a prayer and told them the reason for this gathering before he introduced Elaina, even though everyone already knew who she was.

Elaina stepped to the podium and took a deep breath. Sirius watched her spread the rumpled parchment she had been holding at the Potter's across the wood and look out to the crowd. As she spoke, there was not one heart that did not break for her. James and Sirius, who were seated in the front row with Mr. and Mrs. Potter, could see Elaina's hands trembling whenever she lifted a hand to push her hair behind her ears. Throughout her speech about her parents and their life, she had to stop more than once to gather herself, and clear the tightness from her throat before continuing. Both James and Sirius felt a wave of protectiveness break over them as they watched Elaina visibly struggling to control her emotions. Both wanted to take her from the room knowing that she would never forgive herself should she break down in front of a crowd of people; or at the very least stand beside her while she spoke.

But after a few minutes, her speech was over and she was stepping away from the podium thanking everyone for their attendance. Mr. Klein took to the podium once again, telling the crowd that it was time for Elaina to place her parents' urns in the Cochran Mausoleum and anyone who wished to come was welcome.

Not many people did. Besides Sirius and the Potters, Mr. Cochran's friend Derek followed, as well as half a dozen other people.

Elaina, carrying her parents' remains in her arms, led the way to the wrought iron gates that guarded Whitehaven Cemetery. Beyond the gate they could see the different paths in the graveyard illuminated by a lantern every fifteen feet or so, and moving through the headstones several ghosts glided hauntingly. As Elaina went to walk through the gates, they swung open for her, almost as if it knew she was approaching. She walked the path, her high heels clicking against the cobblestones, followed closely by James' parents.

As the ghosts realized they were not alone, they changed their course making their way toward the party venturing through their cemetery. Elaina seemed unbothered, but having accidentally walked through more than one of the Hogwart's ghosts, James and Sirius stiffened. But the spirits merely stopped at the edge of the walkway hanging their heads in respect and placing their hands over where their hearts would be.

Finally, the Cochran family Mausoleum loomed ahead of them. It looked like many other mausoleums in that it took after roman-esque architecture. But where there should have been columns holding up the roof on either side of the door, there were two marble avenging angels, whose eyes seemed to follow you no matter where you stood. Elaina's last name was boldly broadcast along the top just under a large stained glass window.

Passing one of the urns to Mrs. Potter for a moment, Elaina pressed the pad of her thumb against the door handle until she winced. After a moment of waiting, the door swung inward - a drop of Cochran blood having been the key. James and Sirius stepped in, looking around in awe; they stood in a room that four of them could've stood shoulder to shoulder and still been comfortable. On either side and stretching back for several yards they were surrounded by urns of all different colors and decoration. Every couple feet there was a bench placed between two columns, and on the columns were vases of fresh flowers.

But while the group that followed her paused every now and then to look at the names, dates or even the urns themselves, Elaina kept walking towards the back. When everyone caught up with her, Elaina was already placing her mother's urn beside her father's in a space that seemed made for the two. She held out an incense to Mr. Potter asking if he would light it for her, and after he did, the soft smell of lavender filled the room and seemed to calm everyone's nerves. Elaina placed this in the small caddy nestled between her parents' urns and took a seat on the bench facing them.

Maryann ushered everyone out, allowing Elaina to have some privacy while she said her final good-byes to her parents. The people who had chosen to make the trip to the mausoleum thinned and bid their farewells until it was just Sirius, James and his parents.

"It's not going to close her in there, is it?" James asked worriedly.

Nathan shook his head. "No, it won't. When she steps out it'll close."

Maryann looked to her watch, and t'sked, "I don't want to rush her, but we have to get back and tell everyone where to go."

"We'll get her," James offered, tugging Sirius along by his sleeve.

When they reached Elaina, they took a seat on either side of her. Lavender just hung in the air now as the incense had stopped burning, but Elaina was still staring off, dazed. Before either of them could say anything to her, Elaina took a breath and said, "I used to wish I had a brother, an unusual thing for a girl to wish as they usually want sisters, but I always wanted a brother. One who would protect me and comfort me when I needed him…" then softer "like now."

On her left side, James threw back his head and laughed. As Elaina turned to give him a nasty look, he threw his arm around her shoulder and drew her to his side saying, "Well, now you have two! Isn't that right, mate?"

And Sirius, knowing James would throw himself wholeheartedly into being the brother Elaina never had, smiled and rested his hand on her knee. "Right."

Elaina smiled at the two of them, the first smile they'd seen of hers that wasn't shaky and broken. "Thank you. You two are good friends."

"Friends!" James cried, shocked. "Did you hear that Sirius? She called us her friends, I think she's accepted our offer."

_I think so too_, Sirius thought with a grin because that was the only thing he could do.

* * *

**Okay, there's the fourth chapter! Yay.**

**I'm sorry if the last bit seems a bit choppy,**  
**I started to get carpal tunnel typing this out, and**  
**tried to finish as best I could. At some point I might go back**  
**and fix it, but for right now it'll do. And I purposely**  
**left all dialouge out of the memorial service because this chapter**  
**is supposed to be in Sirius/James' POV and they're not focused on what**  
**was being said, but on Elaina and her actions.**

**Good news is, Elaina has accepted Sirius and James' offer of friendship! Yay! **

**Next chapter I think we're taking a trip to Diagon Alley and to Gringotts so**  
**Elaina can settle her parents' will and their accounts. And then after that it'll only**  
**be a few chatpers until her Hearing at the Ministry! I know things are moving kinda**  
**slow, but bear with me, this is just the exposition of the story! **

**Dodododododo... Reviews! Thank you everyone who has read/alerted/favorited**  
**this story so far, I'm really happy that you are enjoying it so far! :)**  
**And I would also like to thank... What A Rock, AuntMo, JuniperSkye, warsucksiknow,**  
**and Lux for reviewing the last chapter! I love you all! **

**Please review? :D **

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/2/2013**


	6. Another Ally

**Ch. 5 - Another Ally **

_Friendship turned and spoke to me:  
'Always I'll be there; Never mind the fretting or the woes,  
Nay, tell! - be you in the doldrums, deep of Hell,  
Or any other dire straights my friend;  
For you, I stood here ever at your side  
From distant time to now, the bitter end.'  
_- Friendship Stays Beside You, Mark R. Slaughter

I didn't stay at Mrs. Potter's "party" very long. My parents' memorial service left me mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. Of course I didn't simply abandon the party as soon as it got going; I did stay, eat some of Maryann's fabulous cooking and talked to anyone who engaged me, but truly, I couldn't take it for very long. After about an hour and a half I asked Maryann if she would mind if I excused myself for the night, which of course she didn't.

Though I would never in my life admit it to anyone aloud, I cried myself to sleep that night. Laying my parents to rest, giving their death that degree of finality was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I loved my parents more than I loved myself, there was nothing the three of us didn't share. Of course there were things I shared with my mother and not my father, and vice versa simply because of the subject of things; romantic issues I kept between my mum and I, while things regarding my schooling and future plans I shared with my dad.

Most teenagers would be loath to admit it, but I was happy and all it took was two words, six syllables and one incantation to take it all away from me. And although my blood was theirs, their spirits entwined with my own for as long I lived; their voices becoming my voice of reason, it would never be the same as having them alive.

I must've had a nightmare because I woke up being shaken violently with someone calling my name over and over again with increased urgency. When I opened my eyes, nothing in my vision was focused. I was aware that I was breathing heavily, and my cheeks felt slick with what I hoped was sweat from tossing and turning. I could feel my body trembling as whoever shook me awake pulled me against their shoulder, turning my face into the crook of their neck, knotting a hand firmly in my hair as a way to ground me.

"Shh, Elaina it's okay. You're okay."

"Sirius?" I said hoarsely.

He chuckled, "Yeah, it's me."

He held me away from him, holding my face between his calloused hands. I watched the worry overtake his handsome features in the way his eyebrows knitted together and lines appeared on his forehead. One corner of his mouth twisted into a frown as he took in the fear in my eyes.

"What are you doing down here?" I wondered.

"I came downstairs and I heard you screaming," he told me, taking his hands away and I crossed my arms, fisting my hands to prevent them from shaking. "When I came in you were thrashing around, I thought you were having some sort of fit. Did you have a nightmare?"

I shrugged, telling him, "I'm not sure. I don't remember." I rubbed a hand over my face in an attempt to clean up my appearance at least a little as I tried to ignore the way my cheeks were burning from embarrassment. _I wonder if I woke anyone else up… _I looked to the clock on my vanity - it was barely seven in the morning. "What are you doing up this early?"

Sirius laughed, running a hand along the stubble on his cheek. "You know what blows about living with your Quidditch captain? You actually have to do the work-out regimen he assigns every summer." Then he sighed, "I'm just waiting for James to get ready for our run."

This peaked my attention. My mother was an athlete and even after she retired from the Holyhead Harpies just before I started Hogwart's, she was still an athlete. She also bred into me the heart of an athlete. My mum once told me about her teenage years, about how she was teased because of her body - all the women in my family were graced with curves, there was not a woman in my family who could _squeeze_ into a size 6 even on her skinniest day. Because of the way my mother was teased, she raised me with as much confidence and self-esteem as she could so that I would not fall victim to the self-loathing she had. She taught me how to take care of and love my body, encouraging me to go on walks with her when I was younger, then as I got older they turned into runs.

"Run? You two go running?" I asked.

He nodded. "Sure do, why?"

I looked down, unsure of how to ask before I looked back up at him. "Do you think I could come? I swear I can keep up."

Sirius looked shocked and I could tell he wasn't sure if I was joking or not. Warily he replied, "For today, I think you should sleep. And I'll talk to James about it."

I felt myself begin to smile. "Thank you."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something else but it was cut off by James' irritated cry of, "Padfoot, let's go!"

Groaning, Sirius took a breath and held it in his chest for a moment before releasing it. He stood and more to himself said, "I hate when he stops being James and turns into Captain. Makes me seriously consider hurting him." Then he turned his steel eyes to me and said, "Go back to sleep for a few hours, okay?"

I nodded and he turned to walk out of my room, but just as he reached for the doorknob I called his name. Ignoring James calling for him again, Sirius waited patiently for me to tell him why I called his name, watching me expectantly, like I was the only thing he saw at that moment.

"Do… Do you think I'll be okay, like James said a couple days ago?" My hand unconsciously went to my throat where my parents' wedding rings hung from a chain I found in my jewelry box.

A wide, heart-fluttering smile broke across his face and for a moment, I didn't question why so many girls pined after him at school. "Yeah, I do."

And then Sirius walked out, closing my door behind him and leaving me in my room as the first rays of sun fell in through the window. I heard James yell at him for taking so long, but Sirius just told him to shove it and laughed. I just shook my head as I laid back down, forgetting all about the reason I was up so early and all the while thanking Merlin that there were few sounds in the world more relaxing then Sirius Black's laugh.

**-:- **

I woke up on my own a few hours later to the sound of my stomach growling. Unconsciously, I must've smelled the breakfast that Mrs. Potter was cooking and my hunger decided it was time for me to wake up and slake it. Groggily, I rolled out of bed, fixed my hair into a braid and left my room.

The sight I was already used to seeing during breakfast at the Potter's was this: Mr. Potter would be reading the _Daily Prophet _unconsciously stirring his morning coffee. James would be sitting at the table as well, wolfing down his breakfast and pumpkin juice all the while looking over the Quidditch section of the paper, or a Quidditch magazine. Mrs. Potter would be in the kitchen finishing up breakfast and putting things in the sink while Sirius sat on the otherside of the breakfast bar facing the table, drinking a cup of coffee and usually reading over a motorcycle magazine.

When I walked into the kitchen, that was the scene I was greeted with, but there was an extra person in it. Derek sat at the table engaging Nathan in conversation and between them sat another thick envelope much like the one that he brought my Disciplinary Hearing notification in.

"Morning, 'Laina!" James said as he looked up, smiling.

"Good morning everyone," I replied, reaching the breakfast bar where a cup of coffee already waited for me. I took the cup and sat at the table with Mr. Potter and Derek. "What's going on?"

"It seems we have to make a trip to Diagon Alley soon," Mr. Potter said with a sigh.

I looked between the two men, confused. "Why?"

Derek pushed the envelope he brought over toward me while Mrs. Potter came over with a small stack of pancakes. I opened it, pulling out the papers and then dumped the contents out on the table. Out tumbled three small keys, a stick of red sealing wax and my father's ring with our family seal on it . Flipping through the papers, I realized that it was my parents' will and the deeds to several of my family's properties both in and out of England. Absently sipping my coffee and enjoying my pancakes, I read through my parents' will, stopping when I got to the part that decided a trip to Diagon Alley was needed.

"They left everything to me," I said, rather stunned. I shouldn't have been surprised, I was the heiress to my family's fortune but that didn't lessen the shock value of it. Granted, nothing was actually mine until I came of age in a few weeks and, according to the will, until then Derek was the one holding everything.

"You need to go to Gringotts, have everything notarized and moved into your name. From the time of their deaths, you have a week until you forfeit your right to it," Derek explained.

Sighing, I picked up my family's ring and slid it onto my right ring finger. The gold was cold against my skin but after a moment, the size magically readjusted to fit my finger perfectly. I looked at the seal, rampant dragons on either side of a shield, charged with a chevron with a fleur-de-lis in the base and surmounted by a crown. I always remembered looking at the ring on my father's hand, thinking how it looked _so big_ because his hands were always so much larger than mine, and now on my slender hand with long, narrow fingers the Cochran family seal did not look nearly as powerful and regal as it really was.

"Elaina?" Nathan said. "Have you been listening?"

I nodded. "Yes, I've been listening."

"You're going to need the will, yours and your parents' keys, and your family seal to be able to move everything," Derek told me. "Although technically everything in your parents' vaults is already yours because you're obviously blood relation, to clear out the vaults into one, you need to give them the permission."

I shook my head. "I'd rather move everything into my family's vault."

My family's vault was where my parents' family fortune from both the Cochran and Van Buren lines were collected into one vault. This vault was considered savings, only to be touched when we were in need of it, which we never were. It housed generations of family heirlooms from both my father and mother's side of the family. My parents also had their own separate vaults that housed the money they made through their lives as a Seeker and an Auror. Finally, there was my vault that my parents had opened for me when I started Hogwart's. There wasn't much in it, only what my parents allotted me. But all of those would have to be condensed into my family's vault.

I took a sip of my coffee as I wondered when all of this was going to become easier. Would all of this have been easier if my parents had died when they were supposed to, when they were old, when I was an adult? Would it have been easier for me then or harder because I had them around longer? Either way, the only good I saw coming out of this entire situation was the fact that if the Ministry decided to snap my wand, at least I would have enough money to be set for the rest of my natural born life as a wizarding world outcast.

"All right," I said, pushing out my chair and standing. "Just give me a minute to get dressed and we can get this taken care of."

"Elaina, you don't have to do it right this second," Maryann said. She was clearly concerned that this was going to be too much for me because after all, I had just laid my parents to rest the night before.

"I don't see what other choice I have," I told her over my shoulder as I strolled from the kitchen.

I dressed quickly putting on a flowing skirt and nice blouse, and throwing my thick, dark hair into low and messy side bun and topping it with a cloche hat. I slipped on a cardigan as I re-entered the kitchen, passing the tips of my fingers under my eyes to get rid of whatever was left over from yesterday's make-up.

"I'm ready when you are, Derek," I told him, picking up the things I needed from the table and placing them in my purse.

"You don't want us to come?" Sirius asked.

"I don't see the point in any of you coming along, this is something I have to take care of," I said. "I'm sure you all have plans of your own for the day and this might take awhile."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to James, looking at me in worry. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Positive."

"Okay then Elaina, let's get going," Derek said standing from the kitchen table and motioning for me to go into the foyer.

**-:-**

The trip to Gringotts took almost an hour and a half. It was a blur of signing paper after paper, notarizing form after form until finally the goblins had all the authority they needed to move everything from my father's vault, my mother's vault and my vault into the family vault. All of the properties including my family manor, my grandfather's cottage retreat, and the vacation villa in Italy was moved into my name. By the end of the visit I'm pretty sure I walked out of Gringotts Wizarding Bank the richest sixteen year old witch in the wizarding realm.

Afterwards, Derek took me for ice cream at Fortescue's. I found an open table and sat down while he placed our orders. I took my hat off and shook out my hair, relishing in the warm sun against my cheeks. It was nice to be outside and among society again after having been kept inside not only my own home from the start of summer, as my father was afraid something would happen to me if I went out by myself, but also the Potter's house. Technically, since I was awaiting a disciplinary hearing I wasn't allowed out of the house unsupervised in case I tried to escape.

_This is the worst summer of my life and I just want it to end already, whether I end up going back to Hogwart's or not._ I thought to myself leaning my head back to look at the clouds as they passed in the sky. _If they end up snapping my wand maybe I'll go live in the States… right now that seems to be the only place not affected by all this Dark-Arts-Voldemort bullshit. _

"Elaina!"

I stiffened, abruptly brought from my thoughts when I heard my name being called. I swallowed hard and stood from the chair turning around to face the person who called my name. That light, trilling voice could only belong to one of two people. I breathed in relief when I came face to face with a pretty girl who's chosen hair color of the moment was a dark purple that contrasted with her pale skin.

"Andromeda!"

Andromeda Black, one of Sirius' cousins was one of my friends from school, and truthfully the only one I could completely tolerate as she seemed to be one of the only ones who had their head on straight. Her sisters Bellatrix and Narcissa were also in my group of friends but the two of them were so haughty and degrading, seeming to believe that their surname really _did_ make them royalty. And where her sisters were sorted into Slytherin, Andromeda was sorted into Ravenclaw. She was also the only of Sirius' current family in attendance at Hogwart's I'd ever seen him holding a civil conversation with - when it came to Narcissa, Bellatrix and even his younger brother Regulus, veiled threats and sometimes even curses were thrown back and forth.

The girl, a year younger than me at school embraced me tightly, her chin resting on my shoulder. "It's so good to see you, I'm so glad you're okay!"

I laughed, holding her away from me for a moment. "What are you talking about? Of course I'm okay!"

She opened her mouth and closed it, seeming to choose her words carefully before she spoke again. "I heard what happened to your family, and the article in the _Prophet_ made it sound like you were killed too."

I nodded in understanding. "I'm sure it did, I hadn't read the article."

Andromeda then made a disgusted noise at the back of her throat, and her eyes turned from a deep blue to almost black at her sudden irritation. "Cissy and Bella have been completely unbearable ever since we heard what happened. They keep saying that your family got what they deserved, that it served them right for becoming Blood Traitors."

I rolled my eyes, and sighed, "Somehow I'm not surprised." _And trust me, the Death Eaters who attacked my home got what they deserved, too._

"Where are you staying?" She asked me. "Do you need somewhere to go?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. My father made arrangements for me in the actuality of his and my mother's death. Just… would you do something for me, 'Dromeda?"

"Sure, anything."

"Don't tell anyone that you saw me, least of all your sisters," I told her. "Just let them think something happened to me, too."

Andromeda nodded not asking for an explanation of my request, not that I thought she would. I chatted with her for a few more minutes before she told me that she had to go because she told her mother she would meet her. She rushed off, promising to meet me on the platform when school started. I watched her go, smiling to myself because at least now I had three people who would be on my side when and if I ended up going back to school in September.

* * *

**Yay, chapter 5! Phew, sorry this one took a few days to get out, I was really busy this past week!  
Next chapter we're fast forwarding a little bit to see if I can get a visit in from Lily! **

**Alright, so I did a little research before writing this chapter on the HP Lexicon and came to discover  
that there was no way any of the Black girls (Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa) were at Hogwart's  
the same time as the Marauders. Bella is the oldest Black girl, eleven years older than Sirius,  
Andromeda is the middle girl born two years after Bella, and Narcissa is the youngest born two years  
After Andromeda. According to the HP Lexicon, they place Sirius' birth year to be about 1960. The only  
one who would've been there with them was Narcissa being five years ahead of them, but as this story  
takes place during their 7th year, she would have already graduated. **

**That said, I took the creative license to move the Black girls' ages around to make them compatible for  
them to be attending Hogwart's at the same time. Bellatrix is in her seventh year, Andromeda in her sixth  
and Narcissa in her fifth. **

**On a different note I took the liberty of updating my bio page with a little more information about me and  
what you can usually expect from my stories! So, go read that when you have a chance. **

**REVIEWS! I love all of you who took the time to review, and if I remember correctly I did reply to everyone  
who did not anonymously review! So, I would like to thank, _JaneSkye, .Wannabe-Fantasy., chemistrygoddess, _  
_TwinzLover, Ruth Writes, JuniperSkye_, and _AuntMo _for leaving me wonderful reviews! Thank you everyone!**

**Review? :) **

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED 4/01/2013**


	7. An Unexpected Visit

**Ch. 6 - An Unexpected Visit**

_If you can keep your head when all about you_  
_Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;_  
_If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,_  
_But make allowance for their doubting too:_  
_If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,_  
_Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,_  
_Or being hated don't give way to hating,_  
_And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;_  
- If, Rudyard Kipling

Days passed and both Sirius and James noticed Elaina falling into a routine the longer she stayed with them. She started running with the boys in the morning and it turned out that this was a good thing, as it drove both James and Sirius to run harder, faster and longer so they wouldn't be outdone by a girl. When she wasn't hanging around the boys playing Wizard's Chess, Exploding Snap, or helping come up with new Quidditch plays (since Elaina's mother was a professional Quidditch player, James figured she could be of some help); Elaina could be found helping Maryann around the house, in the garden, going shopping or, on most occasions, sitting in the sun room reading one of Maryann's various romance novels, her face screwing up in distaste at a particularly explicit part.

Elaina must've still been having nightmares after the first one Sirius woke her up from because more often than not, she was the first one awake in the morning for their runs, always nursing an already half-empty mug of black coffee. Sirius could always see the uneasiness and fear embedded in her eyes which he noticed were such an undecided shade that they seemed to change depending on her mood. Usually in the mornings after a nightmare, Elaina's eyes were dark and scarily empty. And what was most frustrating for James and Sirius was that she would not tell them what she was having nightmares about.

Over Elaina's first few weeks with them James and Sirius had come to accept her as their friend. James truly did come to see her as his sister, worrying over her lack of sleep and sometimes appetite more than Sirius; while Sirius kept his worry to himself because he could see not only Elaina's discomfort at James' worry, but her frustration as well.

"How are we supposed to help her if she won't respond!" James fumed, combing a hand through his hair, one day after returning from Remus' house.

They had been gone the last three days due to the fact that it had been a full moon, and just because they were out of school for the summer didn't mean they were going to leave Moony to deal with his "furry little problem" by himself. Peter couldn't be in attendance this month because he was on vacation with his parents. Remus' mother had fixed them up the best she could, as this full moon had been a particularly rough one on Remus. James could still be seen tonguing the split in his bottom lip, while Sirius tried to refrain from moving his right arm too much since his shoulder had been dislocated.

Sirius chuckled and closed the front door behind him. Elaina had been brought up in the conversation when Sirius ventured to wonder how she had got on being at James' house by herself with only his parents for three days. It was the first time the boys had left Elaina alone in the time she'd been there.

They hadn't told their other friend about Elaina living with them, it was just something that would have to be explained at a later date. Both James and Sirius felt guilty about keeping it from Remus, but they reasoned that the less people who knew, the more comfortable of a summer Elaina would have, and the less questions would be asked if she didn't show up at the start of term due to expulsion.

"She doesn't want help, Prongs," Sirius told him as they strolled into the kitchen. Sirius went to the fridge and grabbing a coke, tossing one to James as well. "She probably just wants to forget it happened and go on with her life."

"She still shouldn't keep it in, it's not healthy," James said, looking out through the sliding glass doors that lead to the patio.

Sirius followed his friend's line of sight. Elaina was reclined in a wicker love seat reading what Sirius recognized as one of Mrs. Potter's romance novels. James set his can down on the counter and stormed into the sun room, throwing open the slider dramatically, startling Elaina.

"We're back!" he announced regally, throwing out his arms. "I know you missed us."

"Not really," Elaina replied, un-amused. "It's been quiet without you two here."

"Ouch," Sirius said, resting a hand over his heart. "I think you broke my heart, 'Laina."

One eyebrow came up in a perfect arch as she turned a doubtful, but playful, gaze to him. "You have a heart to break, Sirius? Color me shocked."

"Hey now!" he said, but she just laughed.

"Where are my folks?" James wondered.

"Your dad got called into work and a customer of your mum's called, said it was an emergency," Elaina replied uninterested, turning a page in her book.

James nodded. His dad worked for the Ministry, in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. If he got called in, it was because Death Eaters had caused some calamity or another in some Wizarding or muggle town. James' mother on the other hand was an accomplished seamstress and owned her own shop. A customer of his mother's probably had some event or another coming up that they forgot about and needed appropriate attire as soon as possible.

Suddenly James snatched the book from Elaina's hand. "Why are you reading this rubbish?"

"James, give it back!" Elaina cried, not really making much of an effort to get the book back. James flipped through the pages she had been reading. He stopped on a page and smirked. "You're not going to want to do that!" she warned him.

James cleared his throat began to read, the expression on his face growing more horrified with every word he read. "… '_He drew his hand out of her pants so he could help her push them off. Only when she was completely naked did he unbuckle his belt to shed his pants and boxers. The fabric fell from his strong thighs and unveiled the heavy length -' _Ahh! My eyes!"

James threw the book back at Elaina as if it burned him, rubbing his eyes to try and remove the image of the words on the page scorching his eyelids. Both Elaina and Sirius were laughing so hard they were finding it hard to breathe.

"You should - have seen - your face!" Sirius stuttered between laughs, bent double with his hands on his knees.

Elaina was wiping the tears from her cheeks, the smile across her face lighting every part of her eyes. "How can you read that without wanting to gouge your eyes out?" James demanded of her.

Elaina shrugged as she closed the book. "It's something to do while I'm here, it doesn't bother me that much. But thank you for that entertainment." She placed the book on the end table and looked at James, "By the way, there's someone here to see you. I told them you'd be back in about ten minutes, and they elected to wait; they're in the living room."

"Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?" James said, turning from the patio and back into the kitchen.

"Because I had thought you would have gone into the living room first instead of coming in here and scaring me half to death!" she called back, returning to her reclined position.

More out of habit than anything else, Sirius followed James back into the kitchen, then into the living room. Both froze when they saw who had come to visit James. Lily Evans stood with her hands on her hips looking not the slightest bit pleased.

"Oh god, Padfoot… I think she's going to kill me," James mumbled over his shoulder to Sirius.

Somehow, Sirius didn't disagree. The look on Lily's face was akin to the one Sirius had seen many times before she smacked, hexed, screamed, kicked, punched or did any other violent act against James' person. Her jaw was set, and her eyes suddenly hardened to stone they so resembled. James tried his best to summon a smile, but it was twitchy and unsure. In fact, Sirius thought he looked a little derranged.

"Lily!" James said, cheerily. "I thought you weren't due back for a couple of days?"

"We decided to come back early so I thought I'd surprise you," she said, flippantly. "But guess who answers the door when I get here? No, not your mother, or father but _Elaina_."

Sirius couldn't help the way his hands fisted at his sides when Lily spat her name like it was a poison. Why was Lily so mad in the first place? True, she couldn't have been comfortable with Elaina, a very attractive girl, staying with her boyfriend of only about two months. But Lily was always so selfless when it came to other people so surely she would understand and agree with James' parents opening their home to Elaina.

_Unless… _Sirius thought looking to James.

"Prongs, did you tell Lily _why _Elaina is here?" Sirius muttered.

James looked at him out of the corner of his eye and shook his head, his mouth set in a firm line. So that was why Lily was upset, because James hadn't told her Elaina had no where else to go.

"I'm just going to go do… something," he said, thumbing over his shoulder and legging it out of there before Lily decided to throw something. He entered the kitchen again just as Elaina was closing the sliding glass door. "You know you could have warned us that it was Lily."

"Why?"

"Because now she and James are about to have it out in the living room," he told her.

Through the door he could hear James and Lily.

_"Why is she here, James?"_

_"I can't tell you."_

_"What do you mean you can't tell me! I think I deserve to know why a girl is now living with my boyfriend!"_

"Have it out about what?" Elaina wondered, leaning her hip against the kitchen table. Sirius raised both his eyebrows, looked at her and Sirius could literally see the moment when Elaina realized what they were arguing about. "Not me?" But Sirius' eyebrows just raised higher, any higher and he was sure they would permanently become part of his hairline. "Are you kidding me?"

She pushed herself away from the table and walked to the door, stopping just short of walking into the living room. Stooping slightly, Elaina leaned her ear toward the door. "You know, it's not right to eavesdrop," Sirius told her.

Elaina rolled her eyes and told him, "Stop being so self-righteous, you want to know what's being said as much as I do."

So she had him there. Stepping beside her, Sirius leaned his ear toward the door too.

_"Elaina's not bad at all, Lily."_

_"Six years of sharing the same dormitory with someone gives you a pretty good idea of how they are. You know she's hardly had a conversation with me, Mary, Alice or Marlene in all that time?"_

_"So what? Before this, Sirius and I have never exchanged words with her either. Lil, you don't understand! She needs us, she needs some sort of stability in her life right now, my parents are trying to give that to her."_

_"And living with you is the only way for her to get that, is it? I don't like her being here, James!"_

_"What would you have had me do then? Tell my parents to turn Elaina away when she needed someone the most? I admit I didn't like the idea of her being here at first, but my parents consider her family now, just like Sirius."_

_"Oh, I'm sure Sirius doesn't mind at all!"_

_"What's that supposed to mean? Sirius has not made one inappropriate comment to Elaina the entire time she's been here. He doesn't think of her like that!"_

_"Right, just like he didn't think of Mary like that…"_

Sirius rolled his eyes. Of course Lily had yet to forgive him for breaking up with her best friend. Mary had been his most recent girlfriend. So he wasn't a serial monogamist, big deal, but he also wasn't as much of a slag as everyone made him out to be. Yes, he did enjoy a regular broom closet romp every now and then, but it was between two consenting people who understood it was nothing more than a passing fling. And despite popular rumor going around Hogwart's, Sirius _never_ cheated on any girl he dated. He was entirely faithful to _every _girl… he just never dated them long enough for them to have the opportunity to do him any real damage.

Mary had been his longest relationship, spanning about six months when usually he kept it to about a month because the way he saw it: a month was long enough to be meaningful and short enough to keep him out of trouble.

"She's never going to let that go," Sirius mumbled.

"You _did _break-up with her in the middle of dinner," Elaina commented next to him.

Elaina did have a point there.

Everyone had been at dinner talking about summer plans, and everyone knew Sirius did not date over the summer holidays. He liked to keep his summers drama-free and having a girlfriend constantly checking up on him, making sure he was behaving was most certainly not on his list of fun activities for the summer. Mary had apparently missed this memo. Things had been going so well between them, so smoothly and then all of a sudden she had mucked it up by talking about the future. _Their_ future to be exact. Not exactly a subject Sirius was comfortable with. Sirius didn't like to think about the future, he liked to take everything day by day and live in the _now_.

Then she started the crying. _Oh Merlin_, the crying! The crying was always the part he hated the most because there was no safe way to comfort a crying female, especially one whose heart you had just broken. In his head, Sirius always saw himself panicking, his eyes wide and flailing his arms uselessly begging the girl to stop, but in reality he was silent, the picture of cool indifference. Mary hadn't taken his silence well and then proceeded to yell at him, calling him several unfriendly names the tamest of which were 'heartless wretch', 'selfish bastard', 'arrogant son of a bitch', and 'womanizing man-whore that will never change'. Mary then decided to insult his manhood, telling the entire school what a horrible lay he was (which, for the record, was _lie!_), threw her pumpkin juice in his face and stormed from the Great Hall.

Sirius was also pretty sure he had never seem James, Remus, and Peter laugh so hard in his life.

"Alright, I've had just about enough of this arguing, I think it's about time I rescue James, don't you?" Elaina suddenly said, standing to her full height and striding through the door.

Sirius who knew better than anyone that it was not a good idea to interrupt James and Lily fighting tried to stop her. "No, wait!" But as his hand started close around her slim wrist, it slid from his hand and he found himself following her.

"Hello Lily," Elaina said, sweet as sugar, as if she hadn't just heard Lily pretty much telling James that she hated her.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Elaina."

It was then that Sirius took stock of how different the two girls in front of him were. There the two girls stood, like night and day facing off. Lily was willowy and fair-skinned, a few freckles spread across her nose from being in the sun, and her flaming red hair was cropped just below her shoulders. Elaina was statuesque, her skin was a healthy olive tone and her dark hair was currently in a frizzing braid hanging over her right shoulder. Lily stood with her hands planted on her narrow hips in a threatening pose, puffing herself up to make her seem more intimidating. Elaina on the other hand stood complacent and docile, one hand holding her wrist and her facial features relaxed to seem less threatening.

And yet, though Lily was dressed nicely in jeans and a pretty blouse, and modest heels while Elaina was barefoot, clad in a pair of jeans that she'd cut just above the knee and a Holyhead Harpies t-shirt, Elaina looked the more put-together one. The way Lily's anger was reddening her face and setting her jaw was making her look like a dragon lady. Elaina however looked unbothered, while James looked like he was ready to wet himself.

"Is there something the matter?" Elaina wondered, and Sirius couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Actually, yes," Lily told her. "I'm not exactly comfortable with you staying here, to be perfectly honest."

Elaina nodded thoughtfully. Sirius could see the irritation seeping into the corners of her eyes at Lily's unkindness; however, like Sirius she seemed to come to the same realization he himself had. "James," she addressed him, but kept her eyes focused on Lily. "Did you tell Lily _why _I'm here?"

James shook his head. "No, I didn't."

Only then did Elaina's eyes meet James'. "Why not?"

He shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. "It wasn't mine to tell."

What Sirius could only describe as affection broke across Elaina's face as she regarded James. He grinned in return as he shrugged again, his way of nonverbally saying "oh well". Elaina took a breath and Sirius found himself preparing for having to comfort her should she need it. Unconsciously, he took a step closer to her choosing to ignore Lily's scathing look.

"Do you get the _Daily Prophet_?" Elaina asked, turning back to Lily.

Lily shook her head, momentarily confused. "No, what does that have anything to do with this?" she wondered.

"Because if you did, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation," the other girl replied. "I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go, Lily. My home was attacked by Death Eaters, my parents were..." she took a shaky breath, "killed. My mum and James' mum were good friends and his parents agreed to let me stay with them."

With each word Elaina spoke, the anger dropped from Lily's face and her defensive stance became more and more resigned. In truth, she looked rightly ashamed of herself. "Oh god, Elaina I had no idea, I'm so sorry!"

She shrugged and replied, "I know. I really had expected James to tell you. I told him to let you know I was here and when he asked if you could come to the services, I just assumed…"

"He _what!_" Lily cried, incredulously rounding on James again.

James threw up his arms, and exclaimed, "Come on! I just got out of trouble, what the hell!"

Sirius took Elaina by the elbow. "We should go now."

The last thing Sirius and Elaina heard was James saying, "Yes, yes I know! I'm an arrogant toe-rag, stupidly selfish, etcetera, etcetera! She's already forgiven me and you're going to as well, so just come here and kiss me already!"

* * *

**I really like this chapter for some reason. It just made me giggle  
especially imagining the scene Mary caused when Sirius broke up with her  
and James reading an explicit part in a romance novel. Priceless! **

**Anywho... I'm pretty sure next chapter we're skipping ahead to  
Elaina's Ministry Hearing, _finally_ I know you all have been waiting for it!**

**I really don't have much else to say today. Other than the fact that it's 3:20 am  
here, and I need to get up for work at 7:30. I was just going to wait to post  
this until I got home from work but I decided to be nice. :) **

**I'd love to take the time to thank _AuntMo_, and _JaneSkye_ for being  
the only two people to review the last chapter. Where'd the rest of you  
go? Goodness. **

**That's all for now kiddies. **

**Review? **

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/01/2013**


	8. The Hearing and The Verdict

**Ch. 7 - The Hearing and The Verdict**

_As the time draws nigh, glooming, a cloud,  
A dread beyond, of I know not what, darkens me.  
I shall go forth  
_- As The Time Draws Nigh, Walt Whitman

The morning of my hearing, I woke promptly at five-thirty as fully and completely as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water on me. For awhile I just laid there willing myself to fall back to sleep for a few more hours; Mr. Potter and I didn't have to leave until close to eight. Knowledge that my hearing was looming closer and closer still filled every inch of me with dread. There was a very real possibility that by the end of the day I would no loner be enrolled at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

And quite frankly, that terrified me.

By six, I couldn't take it anymore and stood from my bed rubbing my hands over my face in anxiety. I dressed in grey slacks and white button down shirt, throwing a light green sweater vest over it. I couldn't wear many of my blouses because the necklines would reveal the still healing gash across my chest. It had gotten better, the edges of it were shrinking in, but the surface of the healing wound itself was a grotesque shade of purple. I was not looking forward to having to explain away the scar in my future.

As I went about getting ready, I tried to ignore the presence of the letter sitting on my nightstand. Three days ago Sirius, James and I received our Hogwart's letters. James' letter came, to the shock of everyone in the room, with a new shiny Head Boy badge while mine came with a letter from Dumbledore, saying that it was being sent because he had full confidence that I would be cleared and allowed to finish my schooling. It was nice, his vote of confidence, but it didn't make me feel any better.

I drew my hair into a high pony tail and smeared black eyeliner against the edges of my top and bottom lashes. As I exited my room I picked up my high heels not wanting to make too much noise when I walked into the kitchen and tried to roll up my sleeve with my free hand. I had expected to be the only one up, but to my surprise I was not. Everyone was awake before me, even Sirius and James. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were already fully dressed while James and Sirius were still in their night clothes.

"Come and eat!" Mrs. Potter said urgently.

"I'm really not hungry this morning," I told her, taking my usual seat at the breakfast bar, diagonally from Sirius. "How long have you two been awake?"

Sirius blinked slowly, squeezing the bridge of his nose. He looked as exhausted as I felt. "Probably not much longer than you. You're not the only one nervous about this, you know."

"What do you want for breakfast, dear?" Mrs. Potter wondered, clearly ignoring my earlier comment about not being hungry. She hadn't even looked at me when she asked, and I realized she needed something to do with herself for all the nervous energy that was probably coursing through her. "Oatmeal? Bacon and eggs? Pancakes?"

"Pancakes would be great, Mrs. Potter, thank you," I told her in an attempt to placate her. She had to feel like she was at least easing someone's nerves.

The kitchen was silent while Mrs. Potter cooked the pancakes, not even venturing to ask what anyone else wanted. I was grateful for the silence because my insides were twisting, and turning, and generally making me feel sick. I opted for orange juice instead of coffee that morning, I was already jittery enough without the added effects of the caffeine. Mrs. Potter placed a short stack of three pancakes in front of me along with some syrup, and I tried to eat, really I did, but it was like chewing sponge.

"I wish we could come with you," James said, coming to lean against the bar next to me.

"I'm a big girl James, I think I've more than proven I can take care of myself," I told him, thinking of the Death Eater who's life I took. Of him struggling for his last breaths, his hand gripping the pant leg of my pajamas. I shook away the image, taking a bite of pancake.

"Doesn't mean you have to," he quipped, making a face at me.

"How're you feeling?" Sirius asked, his eyes raking over my face.

I shrugged, and said, "Tired mostly. I just want this over with."

"It will be soon. I have no doubt that in a few hours you'll be absolved," Mr. Potter spoke up.

I said nothing, merely reverted to trying to roll up my sleeve again. I heard Sirius disguise a laugh as a cough as he watched me. I glanced up giving him an irritated look - rolling up your own sleeves was a little more difficult than rolling up someone else's. Sirius reached across the counter between us and snatched my arm, pulling it toward him. He undid the work I did on my sleeve and proceeded to roll the fabric up over itself until it sat at my elbow before doing the same thing with the other one.

"Thank you," I said, taking my left arm back, ignoring the way his fingertips brushed along my forearm as I did so.

"I really don't even see why this is necessary," Mrs. Potter was saying, making me take my eyes away from Sirius'. "You had every right to defend yourself! I imagine that since this was such a high profile incident the Ministry wants to look like they're doing _something_ about it. But, in any matter, just stay calm and be polite, that's the key dear."

I nodded, pushing the half-eaten plate of pancakes away from me feeling suddenly sick. What I had eaten sat heavy in my stomach and I tried to dissolve it by downing the last of my orange juice. I took a deep breath, placing my elbows on the countertop, interlacing my fingers so I could lean my forehead against my hands.

After awhile, Mr. Potter cleared his throat, announcing, "Elaina, we should get going."

Sighing, I slid from my stool taking a moment to rotate my shoulders which were hard as rocks from all the stress I'd been under the last couple weeks. James stepped up to me and opened his arms, seeming unsure if I would accept his show of affection. But I smiled gently at him and took a step forward, encircling my arms around his back as his came around my shoulders.

I felt him sigh from the way his chest heaved. "You'll be okay, you've got to," said James, squeezing me.

I stepped away from him, not expecting Sirius to have come around the breakfast bar, but the other boy took a step forward and opened his arms the way James had. As I went to hug him the way I had hugged James, Sirius swept his arms under mine so they came around my waist making the only place for mine to go being around his neck while I had to raise to the balls of my feet. For just a moment it was a tad uncomfortable as I associated this kind of embrace with couples, but I relaxed as I took in the familiar, comforting scent that helped lull me into sleep when it should have been elusive the very first night I was at the Potter's.

"Good luck," he whispered in my ear as he pulled away, pausing for a moment to lightly press his lips to my temple.

Sirius took a step back to stand beside James and I almost laughed looking at the pair of them. The worry, anxiety and stress on both of their faces was staggering, etched in the lines of their brows and painted in the shadows under their eyes. It made me acutely aware of just how much they meant what they said when they offered me their friendship, and in truth it was rather unsettling, that they had offered me their friendship and had not asked for anything in return. Could I really have come to mean so much to them in just the short amount of time I'd lived with them that the idea of me not returning to Hogwart's for my seventh year upset them to this degree?

"I'll let you know how it goes," I told them, sliding into my high heels.

I turned and followed Mr. Potter into the sitting room. He stepped in front of the fireplace and took a round, glass container from the mantle, turning toward me. I took a handful of the Floo Powder and stepped into the fireplace.

"Where am I saying?" I asked.

"Ministry of Magic, London," he replied.

I nodded and took a deep breath, shouting clearly, "Ministry of Magic, London!"

I threw down the powder and took another breath, holding this one in my chest so I wouldn't choke on soot as the Potter's living room spiraled away from me.

**-:-**

I stepped out of one of the several arrival fireplaces set up in the Ministry's Atrium, brushing the ash from my clothing. I heard the fire rush behind me and a moment later Mr. Potter stepped out repeating my actions of dusting off his robes.

"C'mon, you've got to go to the Visitor's Station," Nathan said, steering me forward with his hand between my shoulder blades.

We pushed our way through the throngs of people making their to and from, many of them wearing unpleasant expressions due to the time of day. I had been to the Ministry many times since my father worked there and knew my way around pretty well, so I wasn't gawking at everything I saw. Even if I had never been to the Ministry before, I think my nerves would have made it impossible for me to look anywhere but straight ahead of me.

We reached the Visitor's Station, a booth set against a far wall, where a bored looking witch in bright blue robes was listlessly flipping through a magazine when we approached. With a sigh, the witch closed her magazine and looked up at us.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic, how can I help you?" she asked in monotone, picking up a quill and looking at Mr. Potter expectantly.

"I'm escorting a visitor," Mr. Potter said, flashing his Ministry ID. "Elaina Cochran, she's here for a disciplinary hearing."

The witch nodded as he spoke, scratching something on the parchment in front of her. "Alright, just give me a moment," she said, turning away and picking up the parchment. She opened a door on the wall behind her and entered the room. A couple of minutes later, after several whirring and clanking noises she appeared again and presented me with a square silver badge with _Elaina Cochran, Disciplinary Hearing_ on it.

"Please attach this to the front of your robes," she said, not even bothering to notice I wasn't wearing robes. But nonetheless, I took the badge and pinned it to the front of my vest. "Also please remember that you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk at the far end of the Atrium."

"Thank you," Nathan told her.

"The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant day!" I couldn't help but grin at the overly cheery and sarcastic way she bid us farewell. Clearly she hated her job.

Mr. Potter and I made our way back through the throngs of people, past the golden fountain. We approached a desk with a sign hung over it that read SECURITY. Another overly enthused wizard in the same blue robes sat with his feet thrown up on the desk and his hands latched behind his head.

"Hello," he greeted us. At least he was a little more personable than the woman at the Visitor's Station.

"I'm escorting a visitor," Nathan said, motioning toward me.

"Alright, step over here please," he said standing from the desk. I stepped closer to him as he picked up the Probity Probe and passed it over my back then my front. He nodded, putting that back down and turned to me again, "Wand please."

"It was confiscated," I told him.

"Ah, alright then, give me a moment." He went back behind the desk and opened a drawer taking out a thick tome and flipping through it. "What's your name?"

"Elaina Cochran."

He ran his finger down the page he opened to. "Ah, here we go. Elaina Cochran, disciplinary hearing on the fifteenth of August. Wand: mahogany, ten and a half inches, sphinx claw core, been in use six years. Is that right?"

I nodded, telling him, "Yes."

"Okay then," he said, making a mark on the page. "Good luck at your hearing."

Mr. Potter took me by the shoulder and steered me away from the security desk. He kept a firm hand on my shoulder as we were jostled and bumped by the passing crowds until we were waiting for the lifts. _This is actually happening_, I realized as we waited. Not only was I about to go to a disciplinary hearing before the Wizengamot, but I was also about to find out who had replaced my father as the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Already I felt myself become embittered toward whoever had been given the post because no one would be able to compare to my father; he had been the best Head Auror in fifteen years. Although part of me had hoped they would give the position to Derek.

"Mr. Potter, where is my hearing exactly?" I wondered once we were on the lifts.

"Courtroom Five," he replied tightly.

It seemed that the closer my hearing came, the more nervous Mr. Potter became as well. I would have been flattered over Mr. Potter's worry for the outcome of my hearing, but in truth it was a little disconcerting. If he was this nervous, then part of him _didn't_ believe that I would be cleared. Thankfully though, once inside the lifts Mr. Potter kept himself calm as it descended although he did attempt to crack his knuckles frequently even when the joints made no noise (a nervous habit I noticed James had inherited as well).

The lift finally stopped on the ninth level and announced our arrival to the Department of Mysteries as the gates slid open. I had never been down here, but the depressing atmosphere of the dark blank walls and the absence of windows was making my situation seem more and more hopeless. I followed Mr. Potter down a flight of stairs to the left that opened up into yet another corridor.

"Alright, here we are," Mr. Potter announced, stopping before a large dark wooden door.

"… You're not coming!?" I cried in a panic.

Nathan shook his head and told me, "I'm not allowed." Then, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me for a moment. "Make your parents proud," he said releasing me and opening the door.

With dread consuming me and the very distinct feeling that I was going to vomit, I tried to hold my head high as I walked into the courtroom. I knew I was a little early, but Mr. Potter hadn't wanted to risk me being late and who knows, maybe they would be impressed that I was so punctual for my hearing. I blinked, stepping from the darkened hallway into the lit circular room with benches on either side. A few people were scattered here and there, chatting amongst themselves and a few of them I recognized as my father's colleagues. They must have seen the Wizengamot docket for today and, having recognized my name, came to see the outcome of my hearing.

"Ah, Miss Cochran you're a tad early I see," a voice rang out.

"I didn't want to risk being late," I replied, walking to stand on a raised platform in the middle of the room enclosed on three sides by railings.

I looked up to the highest set of benches where the Wizengamot sat, about fifty in number all wearing purple robes with an elaborate silver W on the left hand side. I could faintly make-out many of their haughty expressions as they looked down their noses at me. In the very center sat a man I recognized as the Minister of Magic, Ivan Holt. He was an older man with severely graying hair, and a sallow, pointed face. And although right then he looked intimidating, all I ever heard my father say about him was that he was a very good and fair man.

"Very well then," Holt said, " with the accused being present, I think we can go ahead and begin." He cleared his throat and began speaking in a loud voice, "Disciplinary hearing of the fifteenth of August," out of the corner of my eye I saw the court scribe begin furiously scribbling everything the Minister said, "into offenses committed under the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery by Elaina Guinevere Cochran… Interrogators: Ivan Holt, Minister of Magic; Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; Millicent Bagnold, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. Court Scribe, Amelia Bones…"

The Minister paused and looked down at me for a moment, asking, "Do you have any witnesses or anyone to represent you?"

As I took a breath to answer that no, I did not, two people stepped up along either side of me. "Witness for the defense, Auror Derek Joesph Perkins -"

"- And Albus Percival Wulfuric Brian Dumbledore."

I almost collapsed out of sheer relief - I honestly thought I was going to be in this alone. The presence of Derek on my left and Dumbledore on my right filled me with the confidence I seemed to have long since forgotten. But I gripped the railing in front of me tightly as another thought occurred to me. Dumbledore was the Chief Warlock, for all intents and purposes the head of the Wizengamot. So what was he doing being a witness in my disciplinary hearing?

"Ah, Albus!" the Minister called, an odd sort of twinkle in his eyes. "Here I was under the impression that you weren't feeling well today."

"Quite the contrary Minister," he replied easily. "I am simply here to assist a student I hold in high regards. I'll not see her wand snapped for what she did."

The respect I felt toward my headmaster in that moment was overwhelming. He was willing to forgo his duties to the Ministry and the Wizengamot to assist in one of his student's defense.

The Minister nodded, replying, "Understandable, understandable. Now onto the charges." Holt then went into a long winded reading of the charges I was facing. As he read the list of spells, some of which I should not, at my age, be able to accurately cast I watched many people's eyebrows raise in surprise. The two people who remained unsurprised however were Derek and Dumbledore.

"Now, Miss Cochran, would you please be so kind as to explain what happened on the night in question, June 30th?" The Minister said.

I took a deep breath, wondering how to go about telling them what happened without the vividness in which I had lived it. I had to stick to the facts, the emotions I had attached to the night my parents were killed wouldn't do me any good now. With a thick swallow and a steadying breath, I began my tale. "I was woken up in the middle of the night by my bedroom door being blasted off its hinges, then someone dragged me out of my room and down into the front parlour of my home where my mother and father had also been taken. It was then that I realized Death Eaters had broken into my home, they were there to try and convince my father to join Voldemort's ranks." I watched a tremor of fear go through the members of the Wizarding court, but I thought I saw Dumbledore smile the slightest bit. "My father refused at which point I was personally attacked -"

"If you'll look at the report in front of you, you'll see that all of Elaina's injuries were documented when she was brought to Auror Headquarters," Derek said beside me. "The story she told when she was taken in was consistent with the evidence and state of her home when we arrived."

Without missing a beat, I continued, noticing the way my voice had begun to shake. "My mother stopped the Death Eater from his attack on me, and she was then killed. It was at this time I picked up the Death Eater's wand as it had fallen from his hand when my mum knocked into him. I levitated a chair and knocked two of them down -"

"How many Death Eaters were there?" Crouch wondered. I looked to the man who had taken over my father's post, trying not to sneer at him. In my eyes no one would be fit to hold the position he now did except my father.

"There were four," I replied.

"Do you know who they were?" he asked then.

I shook my head. "No, their masks stayed on at all times, I never saw any of their faces," I replied, then took a moment to remember where I was in my story. "After I knocked two of them down with a chair, my father snapped the neck of the Death Eater who had his wand on him using muggle self-defense techniques and took his wand. He knocked out the fourth Death Eater and then shouted at me to leave -"

"And why didn't you?" the only female, Millicent Bagnold, among them then asked.

"Is that what I should have done?" I countered. "Left my father to die by the hands of two Death Eaters? Or should I have fought? I had just lost my mother and I was not going to lose my father as long as I had something to say about it!"

There was a moment of silence as the members of the Wizengamot murmured amongst themselves.

"And we see that you fought," Holt said, holing up a sheet of parchment. This must've been the list of spells I cast that night. "There are quite a few spells and curses on here that you should not know, let alone have the internal fortitude to cast… where did you learn them?"

Derek answered for me. "After the botched mission in Liverpool a few years ago, Demetri decided to teach Elaina how to defend herself should something like this ever happen because, if everyone recalls, his cover had been blown on that mission. He said that he would not be able to live with himself if something happened to his only daughter because she couldn't defend herself."

That must have been the mission my father was on the summer between my second and third year. I obviously never learned the details, but they apparently were common knowledge within the Ministry because several of the Wizengamot members were suddenly nodding in understanding.

"He was always a bit paranoid that something would happen to me because of his position in the Ministry. The spells, jinxes and curses he only taught me in theory - the wand movements, the correct incantation, etcetera. I never used any of them before the night my home was attacked," I added.

"I think," Dumbledore suddenly said beside me, "that Miss Cochran has given adequate defense for her reasons for doing underage magic. It is what any one of us would have done given the same circumstances; is she to be punished for defending her life? She understands that she broke the law, but I believe there has been a revision to the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery that says an underage wizard is able to defend themselves, with magic, in life threatening situations. I think we'd all consider what happened a life threatening situation."

"Very well," Holt said. "Auror Perkins, do you have anything else to add?"

"I do," Derek said with a nod. "I stand by Demetri's decision to teach Elaina to defend herself, without it she might not be standing here today. I also stand by Elaina's decision to have stayed and fought - her wand does not deserve to be snapped for what she did."

Holt nodded, "Thank you, Auror Perkins," he said. "Albus, have you anything to say on your student's behalf?"

"Indeed I do, Minister!" he said rather cheerfully. "Miss Cochran is a wonderful student, has always kept her marks up and if I am not mistaken, this is her first offense, and considering the circumstances, it is an understandable one at that. I hold to the opinion that her wand should not be snapped and that she should be allowed to finish out her final term at Hogwart's."

"Thank you, Albus," Holt said with a nod. Then he turned his aged eyes to me and asked, "Do you have anything else you'd like to say, Miss Cochran?"

I thought for a moment. This was supposed to be my plea for them to absolve me of my crime, to beg for my "freedom". But I raised my head and met the Minister's eyes and said, rather defiantly, "I am not ashamed of what I did and no matter the outcome of this hearing, I would do it again."

The Wizengamot suddenly broke into hushed and urgent whispers. I looked at where my hands had not left the rail in front me, gripping it so tightly I was sure the rail would have a permanent imprint of my palms. I hadn't expected this to be over so quickly, though I was thankful that I did not have to reveal the fact that I was incapable of lying to such a large group of people to get them to believe me. My heart was beating in a terrible cadence against my ribs as we waited for their verdict. Now, I was rather regretting my last words, the brash tone of my voice. Mrs. Potter had told me to stay calm and be polite and throughout the whole hearing I had been curt and matter-of-fact.

Heated whispers rose, these people thought I was getting special treatment because of who my father was. The tone of their voices, though I couldn't make out what they were saying, was proof of that. Other whispers were more calm as they spoke, full of reason and I only hoped these voices defending me were enough to clear my name.

Then the whispering abruptly stopped. I swallowed thickly in the tense silence and waited for someone to speak. "Those in favor of clearing the accused of all charges?" Crouch called out. I heard the shifting of fabric as people raised their hands, but I could not bring myself to look up and see how many. "And those in favor of conviction?"

**-:-**

I returned to the Potter's rather in a daze after hearing the verdict of my hearing. Mr. Potter headed into the kitchen where his wife was preparing dinner (I had to stay at the Ministry for the rest of the day with Mr. Potter), while I headed to my room. I ignored the thundering steps on the stairs as I did so. I entered my room, took off my vest and unbuttoned a few buttons on my dress shirt. And it was as I was taking off my shoes that my bedroom door burst open and two hormone ruled boys came barging in.

"So, what was the verdict!" James demanded eagerly.

"Do you get to go back to Hogwart's?" Sirius asked immediately after.

I ignored them, placing my shoes on the floor of my closet. How was I going to tell them this? Out of the corner of my eye I could see that the two of them were bouncing on the balls of their feet from anxiety and practically bursting with curiosity. But as they took in my silence, their eagerness was diminishing being replaced with horror.

"There's no way they expelled you! That's bullshit!" James shouted after another moment of silence.

Sirius took a defeated seat on the edge of my bed/ "They didn't expel you, did they, Elaina?" Again I didn't answer, and he said, the irritation evident in his voice, "Elaina! Did they?"

"So James," I said blithely, turning to him. "I heard that you'll be needing another chaser or two, do you think I have a chance?"

* * *

**Phew, that was a doosie! Longest chapter to date! **

**As we can see, Elaina was cleared of all charges! Rejoice!  
Then again, did anyone think I would really expel her? **

**Anyway, a couple of notable facts about this chapter:  
- Barty Crouch Sr. is in fact the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement  
during Voldemort's first rise. It is not until he condemns his son to Azkaban in 1982  
that he is removed from the position. (Source: HP Lexicon)**

**- I made up the Minister's name for this time period. Even the HP Lexicon  
doesn't know who is the Minister. The woman I mentioned in this  
Millicent Bagnold, will become the Minister in 1980 and hold  
the position until 1990 when Fudge takes over. (Source: HP Lexicon)**

**The reason I am mentioning all of this (and keep mentioning the Lexicon)  
is because I am trying to stay as close to canon  
as I possibly can with an OC in it. Obviously somethings I have to take a  
creative liscense with, but I'll always mention it when I do. **

**I also had OoTP beside me while writing this chapter to assist me  
in writing the Hearing. I wanted to be as acurate as I could, granted  
Harry's hearing in OoTP was biased and I'm sure he would have been  
convicted had Dumbledore not been there. I was trying to give Elaina  
the fair hearing Harry didn't get. Also since this was not a criminal hearing  
I opted for leaving out the chair with the chains. **

**Next, reviews! I would love to thank... _Gen, Mogseltof, AuntMo, Kanika Meskhenet__,  
Green. Peach, chemistrygoddess_, and _JaneSkye_ for reviewing the last chapter!  
I'm glad you guys got such a kick out of it! And I would also like to take this moment  
to say that I have the absolute best readers/reviews in the world! **

**Review?**

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/3/2013**


	9. Of Breakdowns and Birthdays

**Ch. 8 - Of Breakdowns and Birthdays**

_Here's to the next year, to the best year yet;  
__To mixed joys, to my harum-scarum prime;  
__To auguries reliable and specious;  
__To times to come, such times being precious,  
__If only for the reason that they get  
__Shorter all the time.  
_- On the Eve of a Birthday, Timothy Steele

August 27th should have been any other normal day. But seventeen years ago, 4:27am on August 27th would forever deem the day something to be celebrated.

I watched my clock change, as the six transformed into a seven. _Happy Birthday to me,_ I thought with little enthusiasm. I knew I should have been sleeping or at least attempting to sleep, but I just could not make my mind stop buzzing enough for me to do so. This wasn't the usual pre-birthday jitters that you get when you're too excited to sleep because you know when you wake up the entire day is about you. This was the fact that it was the first birthday I would be spending without my parents.

I wiped the tear that had escaped the corner of my eye and rolled over, pulling my blanket up to my chin and squeezed my eyes shut. In a few hours I had to wake up and go running with James and Sirius, I would need the rest. Finally after about ten minutes of begging my body to relax, and pleading with my mind to stop racing I felt myself sink comfortably into the mattress.

It didn't last long. Not for the first time was I woken up by someone shaking me and calling my name. But this time, I was not wholly out of my nightmare yet. Their voice wasn't familiar to me, their hands on my shoulders was not a familiar weight. They were an entity from a night terror sent to bring me into another.

I lashed out, kicking and screaming. My fists hit soft flesh several times before they grabbed my wrists and forced me still. After a couple more moments of struggle, they released their hold on my wrists and their hands clamped against either side of my face.

"Elaina, stop!" they shouted. "Stop! You know me, look at me!"

I shook my head violently, willing the visions from my nightmare to disappear as my sight became less blurred and everything came sharply into focus. James had a hold of my face, his eyes wide and dark in fear as blood dripped from his nose and onto his shirt.

Relief flooded his face when he realized my eyes were finally focused. "Thank Merlin," he sighed, dropping his hands. "I thought we lost you there for a moment."

"Did I do that?" I asked, reaching out and wiping away the blood from his upper lip.

A grin came across his face. "Lily's done worse, I assure you."

"I'm sorry, James," I replied. Then I sighed, running my hands over my face; I needed something to do with them because they were shaking. "A full night of rest, that's all I want. Why is that too much to ask for?"

"What did you have a nightmare about?" James wondered slowly. He was being cautious because I had yet to tell him and Sirius what I was having nightmares about.

I shook my head, knowing that I could not lie to him and say that I didn't remember. "It's not important," I tried to tell him.

"The hell it's not!" he insisted. "You almost broke my nose, Elaina, I think I deserve to know what you're having nightmares about." I was silent for a minute and James sighed before he brought his hand up and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. Any member of James' and Sirius' fan club would have probably died of a heart attack right there, but I knew it for what it was: a boy showing affection to a girl he had come to see as a sister. "Come on, you can tell me."

We sat in silence for a minute while I thought of how to tell him what I was dreaming about that was causing me such distress. In my head, I had the truth laid out for me to see; but, I didn't want to tell James the whole truth. Slowly, I picked through the truth taking out the things I could without it consciously becoming a lie. I had to choose my wording carefully because if one thing contradicted another, it was a lie and I wouldn't be able to say it. I would be telling the truth in scope, not in detail.

You never realize how much you lie until you can't anymore. Any normal person could say that they didn't like, say… apple pie, when in fact it was their favorite dessert and they happened to have a slice every night with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Why you would lie about whether or not you liked a dessert, I don't know, but the point is you do it because you _can_. I could never even say that I liked apple pie because, in fact, I hated it. Such a simple lie and yet something I could never say.

I took a breath, the words coming on the end of my exhale, "I've been… reliving the night my home was attacked and sometimes… it's different." I explained quietly, "Sometimes I know the Death Eaters - friends from school… sometimes my parents die in more horrific ways, sometimes I die because I'm not quick enough …" I swallowed thickly before continuing, "Another one I have is the same thing happening here… Death Eaters attacking and killing your parents and you, and Sirius…"

What I failed to mention to him is that when I recognize the Death Eaters in the dream where they attack my home is that I'm among them. It's usually the Death Eater that killed my mother, while he lay at my feet gasping for his last earthly breaths, then the mask falls away and he has _my_ face. It's much the same in the dream where they attack James' house, only instead of me being among them, they're thanking me for leading them there calling me "brother" or "sister" and when I look down I'm clothed in Death Eater garb with a Dark Mark emblazoned on my forearm. And they don't kill James and Sirius in front me… they make me do it.

"I'm sorry, 'Laina," James whispered, squeezing my hand. "Are you still coming with Sirius and me, get your mind off it?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute to get ready," I told him, pushing my blanket off.

Ten minutes later after changing and stretching, I was walking into the kitchen, my sudden appearance bringing a stop to the hushed voices Sirius and James had been talking in. I didn't need to see the looks on their faces to know I was the topic of their conversation. Why this suddenly irritated me, I don't know. Maybe it was the accumulation of everything that had happened - my parents' deaths, their funeral and then the hearing and now my birthday. Maybe it was the fact that they were talking about me and my nightmares instead of _to_ me about my nightmares.

"Are we ready?" I asked, coldly.

Their eyebrows slanted together at my tone obviously wondering where it had come from and what warranted it. But I didn't say anything as I turned from the kitchen and walked out the front door. I at least had the common sense to wait for the boys to join me before I started jogging down the street. For the first mile we jogged, James and Sirius alternated trying to be beside me but every time I sped up and put a few feet of distance between us. When we reached the second mile marker, we picked up the pace a little bit, the first two miles having been considered our warm-up.

I loved to run because it allowed me to clear my head. The only thing I had to focus on was my feet hitting the pavement one after the other and to keep my breathing rhythmic. The sound of my heartbeat in my ears drowned out any other noise around me. So I ran thinking about how I hated what my life had suddenly turned into. I was vaguely aware of passing our usual stop and turn around point, of James and Sirius following me past that point, of them calling my name telling me to slow down or stop.

But I kept running.

I ran until every breath I took burned like fire, until my calves screamed, until my veins pumped acid and my heart threatened to burst through my throat. I ran until the world on either side of me disappeared, as if someone had taken an eraser and wiped everything away leaving a blank white canvas; until the wind was a deafening howl in my ears.

Feel free to consider this my woe-is-me, emotional breakdown.

I wasn't sure how long I ran for, but my legs finally gave out underneath me, collapsing me into lush green grass that stuck to my skin. I rolled onto my back, panting for breath as I looked up at the grey sky. My muscles were shaking, twitching and burning. There was not one inch of my skin that was not slick with sweat and my clothes were clinging to my body in an uncomfortable manner. I was sure my organs and arteries were seizing as my fast-beating heart tried to pump blood through my veins.

After a couple minutes, my heart rate returned to a safer beat and I sat up evaluating my surroundings. I had collapsed at the edge of an empty playground in a neighborhood I didn't recognize. _How far did they let me go?_ I wondered as I stood. My legs were unsteady and felt like jelly, barely able to support my weight as I ambled over to a swing and sat down.

I stayed there for awhile, watching the children and their families come and go. As I watched them, I realized I envied them, the children that is; envied their innocence, their naïveté. To them the world was new and fascinating, it was a vast place that called out to them to be explored. They had no idea that a war was brewing in a world that lived right alongside their own. They had no idea that if Voldemort and his Death Eaters could not be stopped, they would fall victim and prey to the darker side of my world. If they did, they would realize that the world was actually so much smaller and so much darker than it seemed.

Something wet and cold brushed against my hand making me jump, startling me from my reverie. I looked down, sitting beside me was a large dog with thick, black as night fur. It whined and head butted my hand, signaling that it wanted me to pet it.

I sighed, placing my hand on top of its head. "You scared me, you stupid mutt," I told it affectionately as I scratched behind its ears. I felt around its neck, but could not find a collar. "Who do you belong to, huh?" It wasn't a stray that much was for sure, it was too well taken care of. The dog made a noise that I swear sounded like a laugh as it tilted its head. "… I swear if I didn't know any better, I'd say you could understand me."

Then suddenly, the dog barked and bounded away from me. If I had any strength left in my legs, I might have tried to follow. I sighed, leaning my head against the chain of my swing, the dog momentarily forgotten.

"Elaina! For fuck's sake, _there_ you are!" came Sirius' voice. I didn't even have time to acknowledge him, or wonder how he found me before I was hauled to my feet and pressed against him, suddenly feeling safen within the circle of his arms. I could feel his heart jack hammering against his chest as he held me. "What the fuck were you thinking, running off like that!? We've been looking for you everywhere!" he hissed against my ear, but the way his voice shook was not from anger.

I brought my arms up and encircled them around Sirius' back wondering why he sounded so… _scared_. He held me so hard against his body that it almost hurt, it was if Sirius was afraid that if he held me loosely, I would wriggle free and run again. Finally after a moment or two, he pulled back, resting the palm of his hand against my cheek, the other coming to lay against my hip. His usual grey eyes were darker and troubled, rimmed in both fear and relief. Sirius' thumb was running along the angle of my cheekbone as he searched my eyes, but for what I don't know.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him.

He released the breath he seemed to have been holding in his chest and brought my face forward until he pressed his mouth firmly against my forehead, not caring about he salt taste of my sweat that would no doubt be left behind on his lips. Then his arms circled around my shoulders as he rested his chin on the top of my head. "Just don't scare me like that again."

Sirius squeezed me one last time before letting me go and taking the empty swing beside the one I was previously occupying. I was baffled by the fact that without his arms around me I felt colder, my legs felt weaker without his strength supporting me and my head was dizzy with the smell of him. And nothing explained the way my stomach pitched when I saw him striding toward me. I shook it off accounting it to the fact that I was exhausted, dehydrated and starving.

"So, do you wanna tell me why you decided it was a good idea to run off by yourself?" Sirius questioned as I re-took my swing.

I watched him dig into his pocket and produce a worn, frequently visited pack of cigarettes. He placed the butt delicately between his lips and lit the head with a lighter. Sirius took a long drag while the air between us filled with the scent of cloves, and I couldn't help but marvel at the fact that he was the only person I knew who could look graceful while they smoked. As he let the secondhand smoke plume out of his mouth he looked at me expectantly.

I hung my head, gripped the chains and pulled them toward me. "It's my birthday today." I saw him look at me from under his dark lashes and I ignored the glimmer of sympathy I found there. "For the first time in years, I didn't wake up smelling the chocolate chip waffles my mum would make me for breakfast… I thought it would get easier once the funeral was over, and then once I was cleared at the hearing. But today's reminded me that it's not and I don't know what to do."

It also didn't help that James and his parents were a crushing reminder of what I didn't have anymore. Yes, in the few short weeks I had lived with them the Potters had become like a second family to me, but they didn't share the blood in my veins.

Sirius sighed, tossing the cigarette to the ground and snuffed it out with his boot. "I'm going to let James know I've found you before he rips his hair out."

I gave him a quizzical look, as I wondered, "How are you going to do that? We're -who knows- how far away from home."

Sirius dug into the pocket of his jeans and produced a small, round, gilded mirror. "Two-way mirror, James and I made them."

I nodded, trying to figure out how two under-age wizards had made a two-way communications mirror while Sirius walked a few feet away from me. "Prongs, I found her, she's all right."

"_Thank Merlin! Did she tell you why she ran off?"_

"It's her birthday."

"_Well fuck me. Now, I feel like an arsehole because we didn't know!"_

"Tell me about it. Anyway, we'll be back soon."

"_Alright, just make sure it's before Mum gets back from Diagon Alley. I really don't want to have to explain to her that we lost Elaina."_

"Will do, talk to you later."

Sirius walked back over to me and stood in front of me offering his hand. "Why's Mrs. Potter at Diagon Alley?" I asked.

"She's getting our school supplies, we do go back in four days in case you had forgotten," he told me.

"Right…" Actually, I _tried_ to forget. I didn't want to know what the upcoming school year held for me, and I was not eager to find out.

"Well, come on then," he said, leaning down and taking my hand so he could pull me to my feet.

"Where are we going?" I demanded as we started walking, well, more like as I stumbled along behind him.

Sirius looked over his shoulder and cast me a crooked grin. "You'll see."

**-:-**

Ten minutes later found me sitting in a muggle diner in a booth with cracked, ugly, yellow vinyl seats across from Sirius who merely smirked annoyingly. I had pestered him the entire walk over demanding to know where we were going and telling him I didn't want to go because the longer I walked the more feeling I lost in my legs. All he told me was that I should've thought about that before I decided to run off the way I did.

"Why are we here, Sirius?" I asked wearily.

"You'll see," he said, as a waitress approached our table.

"Hi, my name is Vanessa and I'll be taking care of you two today," the girl said as she placed two menus in front of us. "Can I get you two something to drink?"

As I went to open my menu, Sirius reached across the table and snatched it away from me. I sent him a withering glare as he turned to the waitress. She was around our age and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the way her cheeks flushed when Sirius smiled at her.

"We'll both have an order of your famous waffles but with chocolate chips in them and two coffees," he told her.

My mouth dropped open as he handed her back the menus. The girl blushed even brighter when her hands brushed Sirius' and as she walked away she bumped into a table. Sirius turned back to me, his smirk having morphed into a smile.

"I told you that you'd see," Sirius said as our waitress reappeared with our coffees. "Thank you," he said to her.

"Sirius you didn't have to do this," I told him, wrapping my suddenly cold hands around the warm mug.

"I know, but why break a birthday tradition?"

I looked down into my dark coffee desperately trying to ignore the way my throat was tightening. I had yet to cry in front of James or Sirius and I would not start simply because he was taking me out to breakfast on my birthday. The only thing that showed my sudden discomfort was the way I ran my fingernails along the ceramic of my mug.

"So," Sirius said, conversationally, "why didn't you tell us that you could play Quidditch?"

I shrugged, telling him, "You guys never asked. You asked if I liked it, if I followed and James asked me if I was any good at making plays, but you never asked if I played."

"How come you never tried out for the house team?" he wondered, picking up the sugar and pouring some into his coffee.

I laughed scornfully, "Right. That would have gone over so well with my friends. It was bad enough I was in Gryffindor, I didn't need being on the Quidditch team to add to their trust issues. So I settled for playing in summer leagues, but my father wouldn't hear of it this summer because I'd be away from home."

"Why were you even friends with them, I'll never understand that, you're nothing like them," Sirius said with a shake of his head.

"I knew them my whole life. We were paraded around at parties and events, forced into each others company from diapers." I looked up at him. "You remember what it was like, our parents hoping we'd make a connection with a member of the opposite sex so they wouldn't have to formally arrange a marriage to ensure pure bloodlines succeeded."

Sirius cast his eyes downward, glaring into his mug. So he did remember what it was like. Try as much as he like to deny it, Sirius _was_ a Black and a member of one of the oldest pureblooded lines in wizardry. Like me, he and his younger brother had been paraded around amongst "respectable" society from the moment we could walk on our own. We had the legacy of our bloodlines on our shoulders and it showed in the way our chins were held parallel to the floor, the way we held our spines so straight it almost hurt. It even showed in the way we talked, slow almost a drawl because we learned that people would come to hang on our every word waiting to know what we would say next. It was a heavy burden to bear.

"So your parents were like _them, _we're they?" he wondered, unable to keep the sharp edge from his tone.

I couldn't help but laugh. "No, they weren't, that's the funny thing. Their act was the one they put on at parties; the hoity-toity pureblood attitude. At home they weren't like that. " I shrugged before I continued, "In a way, I guess they were like the Malfoys, or the Lestranges or even your family because they needed the connections that associating with them brought. But in the end they used those connections for purposes greater than their own and ended up being nothing like them. My dad became Head Auror, my mum founded a charity at St. Mungo's… and I ended up in Gryffindor."

Then Sirius smiled, but as he opened his mouth to say something our waitress reappeared and presented us with our chocolate chip waffles. Sirius waited to take a bit of his as he watched me take my first bite, seeming satisfied with the contented noise I made, he chuckled and forked some into his mouth.

"Happy Birthday, Elaina."

* * *

**Alright, here we go, chapter 8! I hope you all enjoyed it! **

**And you got a little bit of Sirius/Elaina "fluff" if you can even call  
it that, lol. But their romance and feelings for eachother are not going  
to be acknowledged or realized for quite awhile. I have quite the scene  
planned out when the other Marauders (especially Lily and James)  
find out about Sirius' interest in Elaina. Should be a good time :)**

**Also... WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO HOGWART'S NEXT CHAPTER!  
Yes, I know you're all excited! You've waited one prologue and  
eight chapters for it and now it's trying to happen! I think the next  
chapter is going to be in Sirius/James' POV, I'm not sure yet,  
I don't have it started, haha. **

**Next, reviews! I'd love to thank GinniBell, Lux, Lady Gwyn of Loxsley,  
bananafreak97, Mogseltof, Forever Dreaming Grace, and AuntMo for  
leaving me lovely reviews! You guys are awesome and I love you all!  
I said it once and I'll say it again: I have the best readers and reviewers  
an author could ask for! **

**Review?**

**-(gxr)-**

**P.S. I'm sorry if you got more than one e-mail notification about a new  
chapter. The document manager was not keeping the format I wanted  
and thus I had to delete the chapter and try and get it to keep the  
format I wanted it to. Very frustrating. **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/2/2013**


	10. The First of September

**Ch. 9 - The First of September**

_Nor shall you scare us with talk of the death of the race.  
__How should we dream of this place without us?—  
__The sun mere fire, the leaves untroubled about us,  
__A stone look on the stone's face?  
__Speak of the world's own change. Though we cannot conceive  
__Of an undreamt thing, we know to our cost  
__How the dreamt cloud crumbles, the vines are blackened by frost,  
__How the view alters. We could believe  
_- Advice to a Prophet, Richard Wilbur

Steam billowed out of the bathroom behind Sirius as he stepped into the hallway, running the towel over his hair and shaking his legs to make his pajama pants stop sticking to his slick skin. Showering before they left for King's Cross Station in the morning ensured that he'd get to sleep at least ten minutes later than if he showered in the morning. And those ten minutes were precious.

"Again!" came James' irritated voice from the room right across the hall.

"Really, James? Come on now, I've beaten you five times already!" Elaina said with a laugh.

Sirius smirked to himself as he took two steps across the hall and pushed the door to James' bedroom open. Amid the Quidditch players zooming in and out of their posters, band members rocking out in their posters and clothing strewn about the floor, Elaina and James sat facing one another on James' bed each holding five cards in their hand. James was looking at Elaina intently over his cards while Elaina met his glare with a smirk in the corner of her mouth.

"Give me two," James said, taking two cards from his hand and passing them to Elaina. Elaina took the cards and set them beside her, and took two more from another pile and passed them to James.

"I'll take three," Elaina said, more to herself as she took three cards from her hand and placed it in the first pile, then took three from the second and placed it back in her hand.

"What are you two doing?" Sirius wondered, stepping further into the room.

"I'm crushing James at poker," Elaina replied.

"I'm betting four galleons," the boy said, dumping four galleons in between them, adding to the two that were already there. Then he turned to Sirius with a look on his face that was only really seen during Quidditch season, and informed him, "She just taught me, I'm determined to beat her at least once."

Sirius couldn't help but smile at the smirk on Elaina's face as she said, "I see your four and raise you six." Then she turned to Sirius, "Nice shower?"

"Lovely," he replied and watched as her eyes raked down his body. "See something you like?"

Unfortunately for him and to his slight irritation, Elaina was not a girl to easily blush. Instead she shrugged, asking him,"Couldn't you put some clothes on?"

"Hey, you never realize how nice it is to be half naked until it proves nearly fatal for you to be so, thus I think I'm going to enjoy it," Sirius replied.

"What?" Elaina wondered.

"Oh, yeah," James said, wistfully. "Sirius decided it was a good idea to walk back to the castle shirtless one day after Quidditch, he got attacked by a gaggle of girls… quite scary actually, looked like he got into a fight with a large cat."

"That's… disturbing," replied Elaina as she shook her head. Then she focused her attention back on James. "Show?"

James smirked. "I hope you're not going to feel too bad about losing," he told her. He laid down his cards and grinned bigger, and proudly announced, "Flush."

Elaina threw back her head and laughed, the sound rolling through Sirius and spreading warmth through his body though a chill ran up his spine. Then she sighed and sniffed, wiping a nonexistent tear from the corner of her eye. "James, a great chaser though you may be, a poker player you are not," she told him as she laid down her cards. "Full House."

"What!" James cried, leaning forward on his hands to get a look at her cards. "Are you fucking kidding me! Ugh!"

"Relax," she said, standing from his bed. "I'm not keeping your money, it was just for fun. I should get to bed anyway - have you two packed, yet?"

Both James and Sirius snorted with laughter. "Of course not," they replied in unison.

She rolled her eyes. "I know I shouldn't be surprised, but for some reason I am." Elaina shook her head and she made for the door, brushing by Sirius. "I'll see you two in the morning, try not to make us late for the train, yeah?" she called over her shoulder.

The two watched Elaina leave before James turned to gathering up the cards and putting them back in their small cardboard box. Neither boy knew how tomorrow would play out, as far as people who did not directly associate with Elaina all summer were concerned, she was dead. The article _The Daily Prophet_ printed really did make it sound like Elaina had been killed that night alongside her parents. Then again, maybe it was better that way so Elaina could go through the summer as comfortably as she possibly could, without being more of a target for anyone wishing to do her harm.

But tomorrow could have been considered her "coming out". It would be the first time Elaina would face a crowd that would recognize her, and then realize she had been alive the entire summer after all. Sirius couldn't help but wonder what people would whisper to themselves when they thought Elaina could not hear. He also found himself wondering how Elaina would handle it. She was a Pureblood after all, Elaina was accustomed to having eyes on her, being judged; would the death of her parents have taken away her ability to handle a situation with the grace her blood-status called her to?

"How do you think it's gonna go, Prongs?" Sirius asked.

James shrugged and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Not sure. Half of me expects it to go smoothly, like always. The other half expects a disaster," he finished with a half-hearted smile.

Sirius nodded, admitting, "Myself as well. Do you think she's ready to go back?"

At this, James laughed. "I think she's ready to get the hell out of this house, I don't think it matters where she goes at this point." Then he sighed and looked around the mess that was his bedroom. "Should probably start packing, huh?"

Sirius chuckled, "Might be a good idea considering we are leaving in the morning."

James groaned and flailed his arms like a child, whining, "I hate packing."

"I should go pack too. I'll see you in the morning," Sirius said turning and waving to James over his shoulder.

**-:-**

"_For Merlin's sake! I thought I told you not to make us late!_" was Sirius' alarmingly shrill wake-up call the next morning.

Groggily, he rolled over, pressing his knuckles into his eyes. When he opened them he hissed and slammed them shut immediately, being met with several colored spots on the insides of his eyelids. He was vaguely aware that over Elaina's agitated shouts, his alarm clock was blaring.

"By the time I come back in here, you better be up and dressed or so help me…" she didn't finish her threat as she strode from the room, slamming the door shut behind her. In the next room, Sirius heard James' door burst open followed by, "_James! Get up right now you prat! We have to leave in half an hour!" _

Sirius reached out, turned off the alarm and then groaned, flopping his head back on his pillow unsure how the fact that they had to leave in half an hour had made them late. He tried to ignore his irritation at being woken up in such an unkind manner, writing it off as Elaina's nerves for returning to the real world. He forced his neck to one side, then the other working out the cricks and sighing in relief when it cracked.

Finally, he sat up swinging his long legs over the edge of the bed in one swift motion. Sitting there, he pushed his fists against his spine and arched his back then twisted from one side to the other. Sirius slid off his pajama pants and folded them before putting them in his trunk and picked up a pair of jeans. He couldn't help it that he still folded everything in his trunk, whereas James just shoved everything in it and then sat on it to shut it when it overflowed; it was one of the things his parents had managed to successfully beat into him.

On his way to the bathroom Sirius picked up a Hobgoblins band t-shirt and threw it over his shoulder. He stood before the sink, splashed water on his face and then proceeded to run his wet hands through his hair to tame his bed head that left his hair sticking up in a none too attractive manner on just one side of his head. Then he stared down his reflection. The edges of his eyes were red, the only sign of an interrupted sleep, the rest of the planes of his face were smooth and unbothered. Sirius thanked Merlin that he thought to shave the night before; he really didn't need McGonagall harassing him about his stubble. He turned his head, the light catching a delicate scar that ran along his cheek - a gift from one of his mother's rings after he spoke out of turn at a party.

He stared intently at his reflection, meeting his own eyes as Sirius contemplated what this new year would hold for him and his friends. The brewing war in the wizarding world had finally touched their lives with Elaina's appearance and tragic story. How many others would be returning this year with tales of missing or dead family members? … How many would not return at all?

James and Sirius had several tests and assessments set up throughout the year due to the fact that they planned to be Aurors after graduation and it was because of this they were both taking several N.E.W.T level courses. Remus wasn't sure what he wanted to do knowing that his lycanthropy would hinder him in any field he wanted to go into but for now he kept the façade that he wanted to be an Auror as well. Lily, Sirius knew, was aiming for a Ministry job hoping to spread tolerance and acceptance of muggles in the wizarding world. And Peter… well, to be honest, Sirius wasn't sure what Peter wanted to do, it never got brought up.

Sirius' reflection went blurry as his eyes clouded over, remembering the conversation Dumbledore had with him and his friends before they broke for summer. Dumbledore was starting a group to fight Voldemort and his followers covertly, using resources both inside the Ministry and outside it, and asked Sirius and his friends if they would be interested in joining after graduation. Sirius knew James had wanted to accept immediately, but before he could Dumbledore raised his hand and stopped him.

_"There are dark times ahead, of that I am certain. This is not a decision to be made with haste; I implore you, think your decision through to the fullest extent - if you never saw yourself getting married and having children of your own, think of what would happen if you did and how this decision would affect them… Many will fight and many will die; many **have** fought and many have **already** died. Voldemort and his Death Eaters are not going to go away simply because the Ministry will not acknowledge him as a threat just yet, so others must step forward and do so. Mark my words, Voldemort will leave his scorch mark on our world and history - we decide how big that mark will be."_

With a sigh and Dumbledore's speech echoing in his head, Sirius turned from his reflection and left the bathroom just as Elaina was exiting James' bedroom. Beyond the door he could hear James mumbling darkly to himself. Elaina sighed irritably and fixed him with a cold look. "I have no idea how Maryann does this all the time, the woman is a saint," she said.

Sirius laughed, "That she is."

"You two have time for a quick breakfast before we have to leave," Elaina told him. Then she turned, the flowing fabric of her dark purple skirt fanning out around her knees and leaving Sirius standing in the hallway momentarily trying to find a way to bottle and manufacture Elaina's soft, dream-like scent because if he did no girl would have a lonely night again. Ever.

"… Padfoot, are you all right, mate? You look… stunned," James said, coming out of his room, dragging his trunk by one end.

Sirius shook his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you downstairs."

Sirius left his trunk in the foyer along with James and Elaina's before heading into the kitchen. James was hounding down his pancakes and Elaina was watching with a mortified look on her face, holding a cup of coffee. Sirius chuckled as he poured himself a cup of coffee as well and stood next to Elaina.

"Nathan's bringing a car to take us to King's Cross," Elaina told him, finally looking away from James. "You should really eat, you know."

He shook his head, telling her, "I'm not really that hungry, I'll get something from the trolley on the train."

But Elaina didn't seem to hear him, she was staring off looking lost in her own thoughts. Sirius could practically see the gears turning in her head as she thought. The worry and uneasiness was bright in her eyes - he hadn't seen her this stressed out the entire summer.

"Everything will be okay, 'Laina," Sirius told her and couldn't help but smile when he saw some of the nervous energy leave her body.

"Yeah…" she trailed off, turning around and pouring the rest of her coffee down the drain.

Mrs. Potter waltzed into the kitchen as Elaina was rinsing out her cup. "Well come on everyone, we don't want you to be late!"

James, Elaina and Sirius climbed into the backseat of the seemingly small car, but in the backseat there was the perfect amount of room for the three. Mr. and Mrs. Potter occupied the front seat. It wasn't a very long car ride, but it was made to seem much longer because the car was silent, everyone choosing to stay in their own heads. Sirius couldn't help but wonder if James was now thinking of Dumbledore's request like he did looking into the mirror earlier.

Suddenly, Sirius found himself asking, "Elaina, what do you want to do after you graduate?"

Beside him, Elaina shrugged. "I wanted to be a Healer, but more focused toward Sports Healing. I'm in all the N.E.W.T classes for it and was taking private lessons with Madam Pompfrey every Tuesday and Thursday with a couple others after my last class."

"Wanted?" James questioned. "You changed your mind?"

"I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet…"

Sirius took Elaina trailing off as the end of the conversation and turned his head back to the window. He watched London's buildings pass and the muggles going to and fro unaware that a wizarding school was starting its term today. After a couple more minutes the car came to a stop and everyone climbed out taking in King's Cross station. Mr. Potter went and found a couple trolleys and before they knew it, James, Sirius and Elaina were passing through the barrier that divided King's Cross Station and Platform 9¾, staring at the scarlet steam engine that was the Hogwart's Express. Mr. and Mrs. Potter took their trolleys and steered them toward the baggage car leaving them with their trunks they would take on the train.

"And you were worried we were gonna be late," James scoffed, as he put his arm around Elaina's shoulders.

She rolled her eyes, sarcasm nearly choking her words as she said, "Yeah. You sure showed me."

James ignored her. "I'm gonna go find Lils."

"You have to wonder how anything else fits in his head with all his thoughts about Lily," Sirius sighed, watching his best friend search for his girlfriend.

Elaina laughed, "Don't be jealous just because he's in love."

"I'm not jealous, believe me," Sirius muttered. "I'm gonna go find Remus, are you okay for a couple minutes?"

"Yes, Sirius, I'll be fine. I am a big girl," she said.

Sirius walked away, leaving Elaina standing by herself in the crowd of people. He could hear people whispering and watched as they glanced in Elaina's direction and more than once he heard her name on their voices. Out of the corner of his eye Sirius watched Elaina and it seemed that she too noticed that people were talking about her from the way she glanced around and even cast a glare at more than one person, but she looked as composed as ever.

"Sirius!"

He turned and smiled at his friend, spreading out his arms to embrace him. "Good man, just who I was looking for!"

Remus laughed as he patted his friend's back and took a step back. "How was the rest of your summer?"

"Uneventful for the most part," Sirius replied. Then he noticed that James was waltzing over to them as well. "Find Lily?"

"Oh yeah, but she's helping the first years," he replied. Then he turned to Remus and followed Sirius' actions of embracing him like a brother, exclaiming, "Good to see you, man!"

"Good to see you too, Prongs," Remus replied. Then he took a step back and asked the two, "So do I need to get my eyes checked or did you two show up with Elaina Cochran? I thought she was dead."

James and Sirius looked at one another, sharing a look of minor alarm because they had momentarily forgotten about Elaina. Sirius turned around, his eyes looking for Elaina and when he found her, felt his heart leap into his throat. Elaina was standing in conversation with his cousins Bella and Narcissa, along with a few of Elaina's "friends" from Slytherin. And from the look that was on Elaina's face, the conversation was not going too well. Bella wore a sinister smirk on her face as she leaned in toward Elaina whose hands were fisted at her sides.

Just as Sirius took a small step to come to her rescue, he watched as his favorite cousin, Andromeda, came up beside Elaina and placed her hand on the older girl's fist. Andromeda's eyes were narrowed as she looked at her older sister and Sirius could see her mouth move, but could not make out what she was saying. Bella, who rarely ever backed down from a fight merely chose to spit at Elaina's feet before turning and walking away, her entourage following her. But Elaina took a step forward, grabbing one of them by the wrist, a boy in their year named Evan Rosier. The boy stopped, turning toward her as she spoke and Sirius couldn't help but see the spark of affection in Evan's eyes as he regarded her. However, when she finished speaking, the affection was snuffed out as he spoke and then tore his arm from her grip and stalked off.

"No, she's been alive the whole summer and… living with us," James told him.

"Really?" Remus said, clearly shocked.

"Yeah, the night her parents were killed, Dumbledore showed up and brought her with him and my parents took her in," James replied. He ran a hand through his hair at the unpleasant memory as he continued, "Merlin, I remember how beat up she looked. I still have no idea how she survived."

They all turned their attention to Elaina then, sharing a hug with Andromeda before the latter walked off somewhere leaving Elaina to stand there again. She was looking at her feet with her eyebrows furrowed. Everything about her in that moment would have looked picture perfect if it were not for the sadness Sirius could see in her eyes.

"Well, she looks good… considering…" Remus trailed off.

"Considering that only a matter of weeks ago her entire family was murdered?" Sirius said looking incredulously between Remus and James. He shook his head and passed between his two friends to help Elaina, who was now looking quite lost, carry her things onto the train.

Just as James and Remus made to follow, they heard their names being called. Turning, they were met with the smiling face of their last friend, Peter. James smiled and embraced the much shorter boy, crying out dramatically, "Finally! We're complete again!"

* * *

**Sorry about the wait you guys, this week went by way too quickly for my liking! **

**But anywho, here's the ninth chapter and as you can see  
we're on our way to Hogwart's! Woohoo! Are you wondering  
what happened between Elaina and her former friends? What about  
Elaina's connection to Evan Rosier? Well good, you should be! :P **

**I also hope I did Dumbledore's speech justice. I was having a little bit  
of difficulty with it. :/ **

**Anywho, next chapter we're going back to Elaina's POV for the train ride and  
Welcome Back feast! And yes, of course, the boys will be playing a prank! **

**Next order of business! I would like to thank... JaneSkye, Stella Luanne Riddle,  
AM, Forever Dreaming Grace, Green. Peach, krazykook, Sheepthief, Gen,  
Mogseltof, and AuntMo for leaving me wonderful reviews last chapter! I love you guys!**

**See you next chapter! Review?**

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/3/2013**


	11. To Start Over

**Ch. 10 - To Start Over**

_Ghost-like, I paced round the haunts of my childhood.  
__Earth seemed a desart I was bound to traverse,  
__Seeking to find the old familiar faces…  
__  
__How some they have died, and some they have left me,  
__And some are taken from me; all are departed;  
__All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.  
_- The Old Familiar Faces, Charles Lamb

I sat in a compartment on the train with Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter; Lily was off doing Head Girl things and it briefly made me wonder why James was not also doing Head Boy things. That inquiry quickly dissipated when I realized that even though James has this extra responsibility, he was still James Potter and would rather goof off with his friends than do boring things like help first years.

I rested my forehead against the glass and took a deep breath, making the glass fog. I was surprised with myself because I already missed James' parents; Maryann had tears in her eyes as she bid the three of us farewell and Nathan had kissed my forehead as he hugged me. They let us go telling mostly James and Sirius to behave, promising to send us all packages from home and that they'd see us at Christmas.

But that was hours ago and now the only thing I could focus on was my encounter with my former "friends". The conversation played over and over again in my head, drowning out the boys as they listened to Peter's story about vacationing with his parents in France and how he met a girl there. After my run in with Andromeda in Diagon Alley a few weeks previous, and after she told me the things Bellatrix and Narcissa had been thinking and saying, I had worried that Bella would turn our group of friends against me. Now I knew my fear was not unfounded because Bellatrix had done just that. She had even managed to convert the one person I had hoped would be on my side no matter what.

I shook my head, chasing away thoughts of Evan as I realized that I had no one save James and Sirius. Remus, Peter and Lily would tolerate me _because_ of Sirius and James until they came to trust and like me on their own. And if I were honest with myself, those chances were not looking too good. In six years no one had managed to intrude on James, Sirius, Peter and Remus' friendship, so the odds are seven years to the three months I lived at the Potter's, I would not be able to do so.

_That's a promising way to start the new school year, _I thought to myself as I slipped out of my cardigan. With my sudden movements, I had caught the brief attention of the boys and silently cursed myself as I saw Remus and Peter's eyes widen at the sight of the long, raised scar that ran across my chest. But where I saw shock in Peter's eyes, I saw something softer in Remus'.

Thankfully, before either boy could open their mouths and say anything the compartment door slid open revealing Lily. "There you are!" she said impatiently to James. "Come on, you have duties!"

The boys laughed as Lily hoisted James to his feet and dragged him off to do Head Boy duties, with him complaining all the way. About five minutes later, Remus stood announcing that he should get to the Prefect's meeting and left me with Sirius and Peter. After that, it wasn't long until Peter announced that he was going to find the trolley before he legged it out of there as well. Had I missed something? Was Sirius sending Remus and Peter signals to leave or something because this was not okay.

"Excited to go back?" Sirius asked from across from me.

"Are you?"

He laughed, "To classes, homework and teachers, no. To Quidditch, my friends and second home, yes."

"I guess that's a good way to look at it," I replied.

There was a lapse of silence between us, but unlike with other people silences between Sirius and me, or even James and me were not awkward. Even though James did constantly try to fill the void with conversation, once _he_ stopped feeling awkward and uncomfortable with the silence, it could actually be enjoyed.

"So what was going on with my cousin and your 'friends'?" he asked.

I sucked in a breath, hard. _He saw that? Fuck. _"It was noth -" I tried to say, but my throat closed. It was a lie. It wasn't nothing and it bothered me more than I was willing to admit.

"What was that? Nothing? Well, it certainly didn't look like nothing -"

"Sirius, stop."

"I mean, you looked like you were ready to punch Bella so she must've said some pretty nasty things -"

"_Sirius._"

"And I know Bella doesn't back down from a fight so I wonder what Andromeda said to her -"

"_Stop!_"

"And why did you try and stop Rosier from walking away -"

"Merlin! It's _none_ of your business, Sirius!" I snapped, finally making him shut up. I was on my feet now. "My conversations with other people are none of your business, if I need yours or anybody else's help with something believe me you'll know!"

I stormed from the compartment, slamming the door so hard behind me the glass rattled. The small group of kids in the hallway started at my sudden appearance. I watched the recognition flash in the girls' eyes as they realized who I was. As I started walking away they started the whispering.

_Wonderful. It's just one thing after another today, isn't it? _I sighed to myself.

"Elaina? What, get sick of Sirius already?" I looked up seeing Remus striding toward me. The Prefect's meeting must've finished.

I stopped and let a humorless laugh pass my lips. "You know, I spent three months with both Sirius and James - never had to walk away from either one of them until now."

"I think everyone's just on edge today - especially you, James and Sirius. It is the first time you're out and about after… what happened," he said.

"... Yeah, I guess you're right," I sighed. "I'll see you back at the compartment."

I didn't let Remus reply as I brushed past him headed to the bathroom. Because of what he said I now understood that all people were going to see when they looked at me was "what happened". My personal tragedy would come to publicly define me. All they would see was a girl who lost both of her parents in a tragic event, they would see someone worthy of sympathy and pity. They wouldn't see someone strong willed, trying to move on with their life. People would treat me like I was something that would break easily. The only people who actually treated me like a human being, who treated and looked at me no differently were James and Sirius.

I turned the water on in the sink and splashed my face that felt hot to the touch. I pulled both of my hands roughly through my hair and met my reflection. My cheeks were flushed and the sudden rush of color made it easier to see the scars that were scattered across my face.

I thought back to only a few minutes ago, Sirius inquiring about my conversation with Bellatrix and my former friends. He had been right in his assumption that I was about to punch Bella, but not because of what she said about me…

"_Well, well, well… look what the cat coughed up, little Elaina is alive after all!" _

"_You sound real concerned there, Bella. I can see you were truly prostrate with grief," I said._

"_We all thought you were dead," she said with a smirk, and everyone behind her chuckled__. _

"_Well, obviously I'm not." _

"_I can see that… what a shame. You know, my father actually said he thought he saw you at the Ministry awhile back with Potter's father," Bella sneered._

"_For your information, yes, I was staying with James and his family. His mum and mine were friends," I replied. _

"_Shacking up with Muggle Lovers and Blood Traitors now are we?" Narcissa laughed, her voice a bell like Andromeda's. "You know Bells, I do believe that is where our dear cousin Sirius is staying as well." _

_A look of realization passed across Bella's face. "You know, I think you're right. And we all know how dear Sirius is, don't we? So tell me Elaina, did it only take a day or did you wait a week before you were sleeping in his room?" Bella took a step toward me, lowering her voice as she continued, "You think you're so much better than us now, Elaina? You're just lucky, you should've died that night alongside your Blood Traitor parents." _

It was that point I wanted to punch her in the face and if it had not been for Andromeda coming up beside me, I truly would have. Andromeda had threatened to blackmail Bellatrix and Narcissa, to tell their mother something that I didn't even guess at. But it had done the job, Bellatrix backed off but not before she had the last word...

"_You know, if you had at least pledged __**your**__ allegiance to the Dark Lord that night, he might have been gracious enough to spare your parents." Were the last words out of Bella's mouth before she spat at my feet and stalked off. _

_As the rest of them turned to follow Bella, I reached out grabbing Evan's wrist. He turned his blue eyes to me and for a moment, as he looked at me the way he used to, I didn't think all hope was lost. "Evan, please. Please tell me I haven't lost you too." _

"_I thought you were dead, Elaina," he whispered, and the hurt in his eyes almost broke my heart. _

"_I'm sorry, it was better that way." _

"_Better for who? Bella's right, you do think you're better than us, don't you? It probably didn't even occur to you to let us know you were okay because you were off gallivanting with your new friends. And I can't wait for the day you become just another girl that Sirius has tossed away," Evan snapped and suddenly all the affection and love he had for me fell out of his eyes replaced with something much darker. The Evan Rosier in front of me was not the boy I thought I loved. "I came to terms with your death already, Elaina. You're dead to me." _

_I felt the tears beginning to sting my eyes. I could not understand how this boy who once whispered his heart to me could be so cruel. _

"_Evan, no, you love me, I know you do," I said, feeling my grip on his wrist become a little tighter. _

"_I did," he clarified, ripping his arm from my hand. "And I'd stop if I were you… you're embarrassing yourself." _

I slid down the wall with my hands covering my mouth. My eyes were stinging with unshed tears, but I was _not_ about to let myself cry over a boy who I wasn't even sure if I loved, despite the distinct tearing sensation I felt in my chest. I could never say it to him and whenever I tried, the enchantment on me recognized it as a lie. I cared about him a great deal, but I was always so unsure if I loved him.

After a couple more minutes of composing myself, I stood up and fixed my appearance and stepped out of the bathroom with a new goal: to start over. I would do my best to forget the negativity Bellatrix, Narcissa, Evan and the rest of my "friends" brought into my life because I'm sure it was shortening my life in one way or another. I would focus on the good things I had in my life like Sirius and James, and Maryann and Nathan even if they were brought into my life by a tragedy. And if it brought me new friends like Remus, Peter and maybe even Lily, well, I saw nothing wrong with that.

I made a stop by the trolley and picked up a Sugar Quill before I headed back to the compartment. On my way back, I happened upon Lily and James stepping out of a compartment and continuing on their way, checking every compartment to make sure everyone was behaving. And since I was a few yards behind them, I was in perfect hearing range of their conversation.

"I don't know James…" Lily was saying.

"Lily, please. Elaina's been stuck with Sirius and me all summer she needs _girl _friends," James told her, opening a compartment and sticking his head in.

"I'm sure Elaina is perfectly capable of making her own friends. And anyway, there's no way the girls are going to accept her after six years of her indifference, especially Mary. God, you should have seen the death looks she was giving Elaina when Sirius helped her put her things on the train…" Lily shook her head.

I couldn't help but smirk at that. Yes, I had noticed plenty of girls sending me threatening looks not only when I appeared on the platform with James and Sirius, but also when Sirius was helping me carrying my things onto the train. It was so ridiculous, just because he may have spared them a charming smile or witty comment all these girls suddenly thought they had a claim on him.

"Okay, I know she's your friend and everything, but Mary's a bitch," James replied flatly. Then he sighed, "And if they see that _you're_ friends with her, they'll be more willing to accept her."

Lily laughed then, a charming sound that made me smile. Lily had the kind of laugh that when other people heard it, they couldn't help but smile or laugh as well. "And just what makes you think Elaina's going to want to be friends with me after the way I so thoroughly embarrassed myself getting upset because she was staying with you? She probably just thinks I'm a typical jealous girl."

James pulled Lily to a stop and brushed her hair behind her ear. It was only then, witnessing this tender moment between them that I felt I was intruding. The way Lily was looking at James was in truth, a little nauseating because she looked at him like he was the beat of her heart. And it was definitely clear that James was the only thing she saw because if he wasn't, she definitely would have seen me over James' shoulder.

"Elaina's not upset about that, she actually thought it was kinda funny. Besides who wouldn't want to be friends with you?" James whispered. "Just do this for me, Lily, please?"

She smiled. "All right, for you."

Just as their lips met, I couldn't take it anymore and cleared my throat. Lily looked like she wanted to leap out of her skin, but James merely looked at me and smirked keeping his hold on Lily's waist. I wanted to be a little upset with James for trying to make Lily be my friend when, like Lily said, I was perfectly capable of making my own, but as I looked at the two of them, I couldn't find it in me.

"Way to kill the moment there, 'Laina," James sighed, but he was smiling - I suspected it was because he had just gotten his way with Lily.

"I'm sorry, but you two are nauseating," I told them with a smile. James rolled his eyes and released his girlfriend who was straightening out her clothes. I turned my attention to Lily to greet her."Hi, Lily."

She blushed. "Hello Elaina… Uhm… how long were you there?"

I shrugged. "Not long." Thankfully, Lily let it drop there and let an awkward silence build between the three of us until I broke it, "Well, this has been truly entertaining, but I'm going to head back to the compartment now."

The last thing I heard James asking Lily was if she thought I heard their conversation. Remus and Peter had returned to the compartment before I did and now it was littered with candy wrappers with a huge pile of sweets occupying the floor. I rolled my eyes, took the open seat beside Sirius and set my feet in the small space between the other two.

"So what are we talking about?" I wondered, looking around at them.

**-:- **

I stepped off the train after Peter, adjusting the pleats in my skirt. I looked down and sighed; I always hated the uniform, it always made me look so much wider than I was. James leapt off the train behind me, almost knocking me over.

He laughed, "Sorry 'Laina!" Then he took a breath and announced, "Okay gang, bring it in!" Remus, Sirius, Peter and I all looked at one another before slowly gathering around James. "This is our final year, we own this school! So let's make this year legendary!"

I rolled my eyes and was the first one to turn away in hopes of finding all of us a carriage together. As I pushed my way through the crowd, I swore that the first years got smaller and smaller every year because this year they barely reached my shoulders. But I froze in horror when I finally broke through the crowd to the carriages.

Why were the coaches no longer horseless? If the creatures between the carriage shafts could be called horses. They were terrifying and looked like they had just walked out of a nightmare belonging to Lewis Carroll. As far as I could tell, they had absolutely no meat on their bones; their sleek black coats barely hung to every protruding bone. Their heads resembled a dragon's and black, bat-like wings sprouted from their shoulder blades. But the most haunting thing about them, by far, were their eyes - white, pupil-less and empty.

"Elaina, are you okay?" I turned to look at Peter, his eyes wide and curious.

I swallowed, wondering, "What are they?"

He tilted his head to the side. "What are what?"

"The creatures attached to the carriages!" I cried, thrusting my arm out as I gestured to the creature not three feet from us.

A thought occurred to me as I met Peter's eyes again. I couldn't see the horse's reflection in his light blue eyes, did that mean that he couldn't see them at all?

Peter raised an eyebrow and rested a hand on my arm. "Are you feeling all right?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned for my sanity.

I shook his hand off and didn't answer. Casting me another weary glance, Peter stepped into the carriage while I waited for the others. A few moments later, Sirius stepped into the carriage purposely bumping me with his hip so I almost lost my balance. James and Lily were next, and finally Remus came jogging over to our coach.

"You okay, Elaina?"

I shook my head, telling him, "No. I think I'm losing my mind, I'm hallucinating."

"Oh… you can see the Thestrals, is that it?" he asked.

"What?"

"The Thestrals," he said again. "The creatures that pull the coaches."

I sighed in a relief. "Oh thank Merlin, you can see them?"

Remus shook his head with a laugh, "No. They're mentioned in _Hogwart's, A History_ - only those who have seen death can see them."

I threw my head back with a groan as I stepped into the coach after Remus. "Bloody wonderful."

It seemed that the coach ride was far too long for the boys because the closer we got to the castle, the bigger the scheming smiles on their faces got. I was well aware of their reputation as pranksters, since not only was I in their house, but I had unwittingly been a target for a few of their pranks because of my Slytherin friends. They never targeted me specifically, but usually it was my group of friends when I happened to be among them. My particularly favorite one was in my fifth year, walking to Transfiguration and suddenly it was like my friends and I were walking on ice, slipping and sliding everywhere. They had jinxed all of our shoes; I was the one who eventually found the counter, but not in time to prevent Victor Avery from taking a nasty tumble down a flight of stairs that broke his arm in three places.

"Where's Peter?" I asked as we entered the castle. I hadn't noticed him slip off, but then again that wasn't very surprising as he was a head shorter than the other three boys.

"Don't worry about Peter, love," Sirius cooed beside me, slinging his arm around my shoulders and guiding me into the Great Hall.

We all sat down and Sirius took the liberty of placing me between him and Remus while James and Lily sat across the way from us. It also did not escape my attention that Lily's best friend, Mary had placed herself on Sirius' other side and was now attempting to engage him in conversation. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Peter slipped in between the Great Hall doors just as they were closing before plopping on James' other side grinning like a fool.

"What did he do?" I demanded in Sirius' ear.

Sirius stopped mid-sentence to Mary and turned to me grinning, while I watched Mary turn an unattractive shade of scarlet. Sirius smiled charmingly at me, and cooed, "You'll see."

I couldn't focus on the sorting, nor could I focus on Dumbledore's welcome back speech, even though you learned it was really the same speech with minor alterations year after year. Finally, the food appeared on our plates and everyone started shoveling food on their places. Well, at least everyone at the Gryffindor table. It was not uncommon for the boys to prank an entire house's meal with one thing or another. It was how I learned to always eat at my house table if I didn't want something in my food that shouldn't be there.

After the other houses poked, prodded, sniffed and did other minor tests on their food, they tucked in as well. And it didn't take long before the dull roar of everyone talking was interrupted by several _real_ roars. Many people dropped their silverware, choked on their drink or food or otherwise startled at the noise. Everyone looked to the Slytherin table where every single person sitting there was panicking and roaring like lions. All of the first years, no matter how pureblooded any of them may have been, looked scared out of their minds and ready to wet themselves as they turned to one another trying to ask for help, but the only thing coming out of their mouths were roars. The older students however were producing wands trying to counter-jinx one another, but counter-jinxes weren't going to work if it had been a potion added to their house's food.

I laughed as I turned my eyes to Bellatrix, sitting with her arms crossed glaring at our table. I only found the scene so funny because I imagined she was actually growling.

"Well, done Pete!" James hollered, clapping Peter on the back as the Gryffindor table started applauding.

* * *

**Geez, I do not like this chapter. Ugh. :/**

**But as we can see, Elaina got through the train ride and the feast! Viola!  
And we also learned what happened between her former "friends" and Evan.  
Yes, Evan and Elaina were romantically involved. Why was it never mentioned before?  
Well, quite frankly I wanted it to be a surprise, and also Elaina is the kind of  
character where you will learn things about her as the story goes. I felt like  
I had to give her an air of mystery, haha. **

**James' line about Mary being a bitch is my favorite line in this chapter  
mostly because of the tone I have him saying it in in my head. :D **

**I'm sorry about the crappiness of the prank they pulled. :/ I was not  
a troublemaker in school and thus, I am crap at coming up pranks for  
people to pull. Though, if I had gotten enough people to do it, my senior  
prank idea would have totally owned everyone else's!  
****  
So, if there's any particular prank you want to see the guys pull  
throughout their seventh year, let me know and I'll see if I can make  
it happen and do it justice! :) **

**Also, I'm going to do my best to include Peter as much as I can in the story.  
I've read a lot of Marauder era fics centered around the Marauders, and yet,  
for whatever reason Peter always is the one who gets left out. Yes, I  
understand that he turns out to be the one who betrayed James and Lily  
BUT for right now, he's still their friend and needs to be included. **

**Uhh... I don't know what we're doing next chapter. In truth, this is as far as I  
"planned" when I first got the idea for this story. The next major event I have  
planned is Quidditch Try-outs, but I don't have anything from here to there.  
****  
So if you have a suggestion of anything, feel free to let me know! ... heh.**

**Alright next... I wanna thank **Mogseltof, krazykook, AuntMo, JaneSkye,  
Forever Dreaming Grace, Green. Peach**, and **Gen** for leaving me wonderful  
reviews last chapter! You guys are the best! And I really wish I could  
put a "less than three" heart right here, haha. **

**Review? **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/3/2013**


	12. Making an Effort

**Ch. 11 - Making an Effort**

_When people aren't asking questions  
They're making suggestions  
And when they're not doing one of those  
They're either looking over your shoulder or stepping on your toes  
_- More About People, Ogden Nash

"Do I have to go?" I wondered, looking over at Sirius on my right.

After the Welcome Back feast, Sirius and I were standing at the bottom of the stairs that lead up into the dormitories. To say that walking into the seventh year girl's dormitory was going to be awkward would have been a vast understatement.

I already knew Mary didn't like me because of the attention Sirius gave me (a clear sign she was not over him yet), and she had always been the one who was least tolerant of my "indifference" as Lily put it on the train. But I didn't know how the other girls were going to react now that I seemed to be making a conscious effort to make friends within my own house. Lily was trying to be friends with me via James' request as she had engaged me in conversation throughout the whole meal, so as far as I knew, her and I were cautionary friends. But where Alice and Marlene's allegiances were, I didn't know - would they stick with Mary and choose stony silence, or would they follow Lily and try to be amicable?

Sirius chuckled, "Yes, you have to go. You faced Death Eaters, the Wizengamot, and lived with James and me this summer and you're telling me that you're afraid of three teenage girls?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, first: it's still too soon to joke about that. Second: I am not afraid, I just hate girls."

Could you blame me that I hated my own gender? Being a girl, I knew exactly how girls could be at times. Sometimes I wondered how the male gender put up with us and why they didn't just decide to be asexual.

"Well…" Sirius said slowly, "if it goes that badly, you know two people can fit pretty comfortably in my bed." Just for good measure, he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" I cried, shoving him away from me before I trooped up the stairs with Sirius' barking laugh following.

I could hear the conversations going on beyond the closed dormitory door, the laughing and joking - it was something I had never been apart of with my dorm mates. I hadn't gleaned a close-knit friendship with them the way James and Sirius had with Remus and Peter. Mostly the five of us accepted that we were stuck sharing a dorm for so many years and over time an order of sorts was made, that being - they tolerated my presence as a passing shadow, never really spending much time in the dorm doing anything but sleeping and I treated the four of them with civility when necessary.

But this year would be different. My friends had outcast me and unless I planned on spending a ridiculous amount of time in the boys' dorm with James and Sirius, I would need to at least loosely befriend the other girls in my dorm.

"Elaina, what are you doing?"

I turned around and smiled sheepishly at Lily as she ascended the stairs. "Just… thinking. I didn't realize I was standing here that long."

Lily looked at me from head to toe, her emerald green eyes seeming to acknowledge my hesitation. She brought her eyes back to my face. "They're not that bad you know. Well… Mary's kind of a piece of work and takes some time to get used to, but the others are perfectly normal."

I chuckled as I realized how ridiculous I was being. Sirius was right - I had faced four Death Eaters this summer, killed one, cleared my name at a Wizengamot hearing and had survived the summer living with James sodding Potter and Sirius bloody Black, I should not be nervous about walking into my own dorm! I had every right to be there!

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, telling her, "I know. It's just… everyone on the platform watched my friends ostracize me; they know I don't have any friends now."

Then Lily smiled brilliantly. "Sure you do! You have James and Sirius," and then she looped her arm through mine, finishing with, "and me!"

I rolled my eyes good naturedly. Lily was… Lily. Good and kind and smart. I had always thought that she wasn't as genuine as she appeared to be, that there was something fake about her. Maybe I just tried to get myself to believe that so I could make myself feel better whenever she beat me on a test. But as I got to know James over the summer, it made me realize that if there was anything fake about Lily Evans, James would not love her the way he did.

"You don't have to do this, Lily," I told her quietly. "I know James asked you to try and be friends with me."

Her face blanched white as her arm fell away. "You heard that?"

Shaking my head I told her, "No, it's fine! You just don't have to be nice to me because you fell victim to James' smile."

Lily blushed then as she laughed. She brushed her bangs from her face as she met my eyes again, her own shining with determination. "I'm not being nice to you and trying to be your friend for James. I was going to… and then I began to think about it some more and realized it wouldn't be fair, so… " with a flourish, she extended her hand in my direction, proclaiming, "Lily Evans, Muggleborn. My favorite things include the color blue, _Gone With The Wind_, any poem written by Dylan Thomas, The Beatles and I probably put way too much sugar in my tea."

I laughed, throwing my head back with the sound. Smiling, I took Lily's hand in my own. "Elaina Cochran, Pureblood. My favorite color is purple, _Roman Holiday _happens to be my favorite movie, and while I do like a good Dylan Thomas poem, I enjoy the tortured soul of Sylvia Plath more; I absolutely love music and I drink my coffee black."

Lily's smile got even bigger as she threw her arm around my shoulder and reached for the doorknob. "Well, let's reintroduce you to everyone!"

Alice Baxter stood up from her bended position over her trunk at the sound of the door opening. There was smile on her rounded face as she turned and called out, "Merlin, it's about time, Li - oh!" Her caramel brown eyes drifted over to me in surprise since it was not common to see me in the dorm already.

Silence engulfed the five of us as Lily and I stood in the doorway. I could feel their eyes were on me, not the girl beside me and I felt my face get hot.

"Awkward!" I heard Marlene McKinnon chime under her breath and I watched as a smirk tugged at the corner of Mary's mouth.

Suddenly Lily wasn't standing beside me anymore as she flounced over to her bed and opened her trunk. Nonchalantly, she began to unpack, putting things in their rightful places. I followed her lead, albeit a little less relaxed than she as I made my way to my bed which coincidentally had always been beside Lily's and began to unpack.

"So how was the rest of everyone's summer?" Lily wondered, looking around at everyone expectantly.

Slowly, everyone began talking again and at first the conversation was timid, quiet. Then after the topic had changed once or twice, we all grew a little louder laughing and chatting and more than once a question was directed at me by Alice or Marlene while Mary still chose cold silence where I was concerned.

But one thing became clear - as long as I made an effort to befriend them, they would make the effort to befriend me. And there was something comforting in that fact.

**-:-**

We had the next four days to ourselves and classes would start fresh on Monday. This gave the first years the opportunity to become familiar with the castle and where the classrooms were so they wouldn't be wandering around like lost puppies on their first full day; Lily and James, acting as Head Girl and Boy, arranged for the Prefects to take the first years on a sort of guided tour through the castle. The four days also gave the older students a chance to settle in a little more and take the opportunity to catch up with all of their friends before we became overburdened with academia, clubs, organizations and Quidditch.

But that Friday found me in the Headmaster's office standing across the desk from him. I had sent a letter requesting an audience with both my Head of House and the Headmaster to discuss my academic career. Now McGonagall and Dumbledore were looking at me with curiosity in their eyes.

"I understand there is something that you wanted to discuss with us, Miss Cochran?" Dumbledore inquired with a small smile on his face.

I nodded, replying, "Yes. I was wondering if there was any chance I could change my courses for this year; I find that the path of a Healer does not appeal to me as much as it once did."

McGonagall looked shocked, quite frankly. I must've been the first student to ever have this sort of request, but it was something I thought long and hard about.

Dumbledore nodded sagely before he saidm "I thought that's what this might be about." He opened the folder that was sitting in front of him and I realized that it must've been my school records. "You are taking all the N.E.W.T level courses to become a Healer and taking private lessons from Madam Promfrey, is that correct?"

"Yes, but I was wondering if there was a way to alter my courses so it reflected me on the path to become an Auror," I said.

McGonagall adjusted her glasses. "An Auror? Miss Cochran, your grades have always been excellent, but I'm afraid that not even you will be able to catch up on almost a year of missed work in classes you didn't take a year of," she informed me.

She wasn't wrong. I had stopped taking the necessary courses for becoming an Auror sixth year; I had no real need for Defense Against the Dark Arts, or Transfiguration as I wanted to become a Healer. My courses since the beginning of sixth year were Herbology, Charms, Potions, my private lessons with Madam Pomfrey and then my elective courses of Astronomy and Divination.

"Well, is there any way that I can take the courses I need alongside my N.E.W.T healing courses?" I asked.

I did a quick mental calculation. If I took the two other classes of Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, that would find me taking seven courses; five of which were advanced and all of them being a double hour with the exception of Astronomy, Divination and Herbology. Count in my two hours of private lessons with Madam Pomfrey on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then factor in Quidditch practices (if I made the team) and I'd probably run myself into the ground before midterms. Before sixth year, when classes were only an hour long and standard, taking seven of them was no big deal. After that, classes doubled in length and difficulty and the majority of students who were sixth and seventh years were taking the classes that catered to their chosen career path which in some cases only meant taking a small handful.

McGonagall's eyebrows arched having obviously done the calculation I just had, but just as she opened her mouth to say something Dumbledore cut across her. "Miss Cochran, I understand that the sudden loss of your parents has probably still left you in turmoil which is why I suspect you have the sudden change of heart regarding your future, but I don't think you should be overburdening yourself."

I shook my head. "I won't lie and say that my parents' death isn't part of the reason I want to do this, because I can't," I said and looked up, finding both of them hiding smiles because they knew of my encumbrance - all the teachers did. "But it's more than that."

Truth was, after taking a life, healing didn't fit me anymore - even if it was the life of a filthy Death Eater. I couldn't imagine myself doing my two year practical, walking the stark white walls of St. Mungo's, wearing the robes of an Intern Healer knowing I had taken a life. The way I once envisioned my future no longer coincided with the person I was now. Healing didn't call out to my soul anymore, it didn't beckon me to help others and do good. There was no way I would be able to take the oath all Healers must and swear to do no harm with the knowledge that another person's blood stained my hands by my own doing.

"With all due respect Professors, I have among the top grades in my year, and my father taught me defense outside of school," I told them. "I think if there's anyone who will be capable of being put in a class after not taking a year of it, it's me. Or even if I can take the extra courses in independent study, it's just… this is what I want."

Dumbledore nodded as he picked up a quill and made a note on my records. "Very well, Miss Cochran. But promise me one thing - if at any time throughout the year you feel yourself unable to keep up with the workload, or feel that the burden is too great, do not hesitate to tell me or Professor McGonagall."

I nodded. "I promise. Thank you."

"And if you are unable to keep up in my class, I will drop you Miss Cochran, keep that in mind," McGonagall told me as she signed the parchment Dumbledore handed her that authorized my schedule change.

As I headed back to the Common Room, I looked over my new schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I had Divination, double Transfiguration, Herbology, then lunch and finally double Potions. Tuesdays and Thursdays I had double Charms, double Defense Against the Dark Arts, lunch, Astronomy and then two hours with Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing.

On most days, I probably wouldn't even make it to dinner, I realized, as I walked into Gryffindor Tower and headed up to the dorms. I rifled through my trunk trying to find the Flourish and Blott's catalogue I had because I would need to send out for the Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration books. After filling out the form, I headed to the owlery. After all my errands for the day were finally done, I returned to the Common Room and plopped down on a couch, throwing my arm over my eyes.

"Where were you hiding?"

I removed my arm just as Remus took the open cushion. I smiled sideways at him, as I let him know, "I had things to take care of. Something I can do for you?"

He shook his head. "No. James and Sirius were looking for you, they were hoping you'd want to join in a pick-up Quidditch game with some Ravenclaws," he replied.

"Thank goodness I wasn't here then, those two don't take kindly to the word 'no'," I replied.

Remus laughed as he nodded in agreement. "No, they do not. I've actually come to think James is immune to it now since Lily used to tell him no on a regular basis. Unfortunately for everyone else, now that he's got her, he thinks he can get whatever he wants."

I rolled my eyes, latched my hands behind my head as Remus and I fell into silence. He sat beside me reading that day's _Daily Prophet. _Oddly enough, he didn't seem uncomfortable just sitting beside me and reading in peace. Remus didn't fidget or constantly shift, just sat with his foot on his knee and read. It surprised me, that he could relax so suddenly around someone he barely knew because I could not.

I took the opportunity to truly look at him. Remus' features were less matured than James and Sirius' because he still held boyish features, but the scars along his face and neck made him more rugged looking. His scars didn't make him unattractive either, but if his personality were darker or less tolerant I think they would have. Remus kept his sandy brown hair cut short, just so it brushed the tops of his ears and his oddly amber eyes seemed so transfixed on what he was reading.

Remus was the only one in Sirius and James' circle of friends I really ever interacted with throughout the school year. He was charming and witty, but not overtly so; Remus' charm was in his awkward silences, and hesitant smiles and his wit was clever, not meant to be understood right away.

I hadn't realized I was overtly staring until I watched the blush creep up Remus' neck until it touched his cheeks. "Why are you staring at me, Elaina?"

I shook myself. "I'm sorry. I was just -"

He stiffened suddenly, and his eyes hardened. I watched the muscles around his mouth tense as they pressed his lips into a tight line. "You know, you're the only one who hasn't asked what they're from," he said quietly, but his words were coated with repressed anger.

I was momentarily confused until I realized he must've been talking about his scars. Remus thought I was staring at his scars. _Fuck me! Way to go Elaina, alienating a person you're supposed to be making friends with already. It's been two bloody days! _I scolded myself.

"Are you going to ask?" Remus growled.

I shook my head, answering, "No, I'm not."

Remus turned to me, the anger in his eyes cooled, but the bitterness to his words remained. "Why? Everyone else has."

I shrugged. "I don't really consider myself 'everyone else'," I told him. "Besides, everyone has scars - they just show what you've overcome, what you've survived. Some have really cool stories behind them, and some, like mine -" I touched my hand to my chest where my own haggard scar was hidden "- have tragic ones." Then I smiled, before informing him, "And just so you know, I wasn't staring at your scars."

Remus' anger completely disappeared as he looked at me. His eyes roamed my face probably looking for any hint that I was lying about not staring at his scars. After a few moments a small smile that was laced with contrition tugged at his mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I've been a little irritable lately."

"Trust me, I'm a girl, I know all about that one."

Remus smiled widely this time and the two of us began an easy conversation about nothing in particular. We were laughing and joking with one another and by the time James, Sirius, and Peter walked into the Common Room looking grungy and dirt streaked, I felt I had at the very least gained another friend.

Sirius took the open cushion on my other side while James and Peter took the other couch across the way. Remus ventured to wonder how their pick-up game went which started a round robin of groans and mumbling. Clearly, it had not gone very well.

"We could've used you Elaina, we got crushed," said Peter.

"Sorry guys, I had things to do," I replied. "Besides, Remus here kept me company when I got back."

"What's this!?" James exclaimed, leaning forward and ripping my schedule from my hands.

I tried to reach for it, but almost fell off the couch in the process. "Must you always do that? You could just ask!"

James scoffed, "Psh. Like you would've actually given it to me!"

"You are such a child!" I told him.

He unfolded the parchment and read over it, his eyes going wide as he realized the number of courses I was going to be taking. "Merlin, Elaina, how exactly do you plan to handle all of this?"

"What is it?" Sirius wondered, leaning forward and holding out his hand.

James passed Sirius my schedule while I sighed. "It's my schedule. I met with Dumbledore and McGonagall to have them change it so I'm taking two more classes."

Peter's face screwed up in distaste and Remus looked over me to see my schedule as well. "Why would you do such a thing?" Peter cried as if the idea of someone taking an extra course or two made them come from another planet.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "It's not like taking the extra classes is going to kill me…" _I hope, _I silently added.

"I don't understand," Sirius said, turning his grey eyes to me. "I thought you wanted to be a Healer, you don't need Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Elaina, did you even take those two classes last year?" Remus added.

I stood suddenly, taking back my schedule that had now been passed to Peter. "You know what, I'm going to find Lily, _she'll _at least approve of me taking extra classes!"

"We just don't want you to overwork yourself, we know you're trying to find distractions," James said, and I knew that by 'we' he really meant him and Sirius. Remus and Peter didn't know me enough and I don't know them enough for James' plural to include them as well.

I rolled my eyes wondering when they would realize that I could take care of myself. I really didn't need them constantly looking out for me or making sure I was taking care of myself. I walked over to James and leaned down pressing my lips momentarily to his scalp. "I'll be fine _big brother_," I told him. Then I looked at him squarely. "You do know I'm older than you though, right?"

James shook his head in denial, saying, "Shh. No one has to know that."

The boys started laughing loudly just as the portrait swung open and the very person I was intending to look for came striding in. A look of confusion crossed Lily's face as she took in the boys laughing and me sighing and shaking my head.

Thinking they were laughing because they had just gotten away with something, Lily planted her hands on her hips and scowled. "What have you four done _this _time!"

Her questioning accusation only caused them to laugh more.

* * *

**Okay, here's chapter 11 obviously! Yay!**

**uhm, next chapter I think we're gonna start classes. I'm not sure yet.  
And there's also another story behind why Mary doesn't like  
Elaina, it's more than her noticing the attention Sirius'  
pays her. **

**And before anyones asks, no Elaina does not know about  
Remus' "furry little problem", but she will eventually. Now  
that she's going to be around the Marauders more often she'll  
figure it out, she's not thick. **

**I don't really have much to say today other than I love Ogden Nash  
(the author of this chapter's poem). My favorite one is  
"No Doctor's Today, Thank You", it's really funny, if you're looking  
to be cheered up, check it out. :) **

**Onto reviews! I'd like to thank... **Spot'sGalFrom1899, krazykook,  
JaneSkye, bananafreak97, Gen, Forever Dreaming Grace,  
Mogseltof, AuntMo**, and **chemistrygoddess** for leaving me such  
wonderful reviews last chapter! :) **

**Review?**

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/2/2013**


	13. First Day

**Ch. 12 - First Day**

_Tell me I'm clever,  
Tell me I'm kind,  
Tell me I'm talented,  
Tell me I'm cute,  
Tell me I'm sensitive,  
Graceful and wise,  
Tell me I'm perfect-  
But tell me the truth.  
_- Tell Me, Shel Silverstein

Monday morning found me waking up at half passed five while breakfast didn't start until eight. I laid there for awhile listening to the sounds of my dorm mates in their slumber. Mumbling, light snoring, the shifting of blankets and whine of mattresses as they moved.

The first alarm went off at six, belonging to Mary who hit her snooze three times before rising and being the first to shuffle into the bathroom. For as long as I could remember, well at least since the girls discovered make-up, Mary was always the first one up because her beauty regimen took the longest.

Six thirty came, waking Alice and Lily who grumbled general morning pleasantries to one another, but they were incoherent. They passed Mary on their way into the bathroom who was wrapped in a towel with her honey curls soaking wet.

Six forty-five, and I finally decided to get out of bed, drawing my hangings open with a sigh. A couple minutes later, Marlene followed, stretching her arms high above her head. I passed Lily on the way into the bathroom and mumbled a general morning greeting, trying to make her believe I hadn't already been awake for an hour. As I showered, I couldn't help but smile to myself as I heard Marlene singing like always. She wasn't very good, but she didn't care, Marlene sang loudly and out of key as confidently as a front man for a band.

Mary was gone by the time I walked back into the dorm room and Alice and Lily were in various states of dress. Alice was leaning toward the mirror, applying mascara with her mouth hanging open, while Lily was pulling her fiery hair into a pony tail. I cast a drying charm on my own dark tendrils and began to furiously pull the knots out of it.

Marlene walked out of the bathroom with her usual spring in her step as she made her way to her bed and plopped down. Alice finished getting dressed and told us all that she'd see us at breakfast, then left. Just as I was sliding on my crisp button down shirt, Lily slid her arms through her robe.

"I'll save you a seat Elaina," she told me with a smile.

I sent her one in return. "Thanks Lily."

She sent me one last smile, threw her bag onto her shoulder and left. I walked over to our shared vanity - it had five drawers one for each of our beauty products and opened my drawer, taking out my make-up bag. I could feel Marlene watching me as I put on my make-up, but I chose not to acknowledge it. Just as I was applying a little bit of color to my cheeks, I heard Marlene take a few steps toward me.

"You know, I've always wondered how you do it," she said.

I cast her a confused look in the mirror. "Do what?"

"Manage to look so pretty everyday," she sighed. "I mean, you spend a quarter of the time Mary does on her make-up and always look ten times prettier than her."

I laughed. It wasn't that Mary was unattractive in the first place because she wasn't. With her curvy figure, honey blonde hair and almond shaped eyes; if you looked at Mary before she "put on her face", you would probably realize that brown eyed blondes were one of the Creator's better ideas. If she would just tone down her make-up a little bit she would look so much prettier.

"That's because Mary mistakenly equates make-up with beauty," I replied. "Whoever taught her about make-up didn't teach her that it was meant to enhance."

Marlene scoffed, "I really don't even know why you wear it; as if you have any flaws."

I turned back to my reflection and assessed myself. Concealer was hiding the dark circles under my eyes, blue tinted eyeliner was supposed to distract from the bloodshot whites of my eyes, smoothing chap-stick was nourishing my chapped lips, blush was meant to give my unusually pale pallor a healthy flush. This make-up and beauty routine wasn't to make me prettier or more beautiful; it was to make me look like normal.

Then I discreetly turned my gaze to Marlene, who, without a speck of make-up on her face was still stunning. Her long, sleek hair was pitch black set against the creamy ivory of her skin and her eyes were the deepest blue I've ever seen.

"I'll do your make-up for you sometime if you like," I offered hesitantly.

Marlene's eyes lit up. "Really? That'd be great - I don't know a thing about make-up!" she exclaimed.

A few minutes later, I was surprised to find myself arm in arm with Marlene as we headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Marlene waved to Alice who, I noticed, was sitting a ways down the table with her boyfriend Frank. I sat myself on Lily's other side, across from Remus who greeted me with a warm 'good morning', while Marlene took the open seat next to me. Sirius caught my eye on Remus' left and sent me a wink, but I just rolled my eyes at him. James and Peter appeared a few minutes later, both of whom said good morning to everyone. Despite the fact that it was the first day of classes, everyone seemed to be in good spirits.

Everyone in the Great Hall began to quiet down and we all turned our attention to Dumbledore who was standing at the teacher's table, with his arms outstretched, calling for silence.

"Good morning everyone!" he called cheerily. "Before you head off to your first classes, there's an announcement I would like to make. Due to the departure of Professor Beddor at the close of last year, I would like to introduce you all to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor: Derek Perkins."

My eyes widened as I watched my father's friend exit the side door and take the place Professor Beddor had once occupied. I almost couldn't believe my luck because from what I had been told Professor Beddor was a tyrant, not that I expected Derek to give me preferential treatment, but I'm sure he would be a more tolerable teacher.

His announcement made, Dumbledore retook his seat and a moment or so later, food appeared on the table. I watched in mild disgust as the boys wolfed down whatever they could get their hands on, as if they hadn't eaten in weeks. From the way Lily's lip was curling, I guessed she shared my disgust.

"You guys could breathe," Marlene told them.

"Or, you know, actually chew," Lily added.

"Ve're ongry!" Peter said through a mouthful of masticated bacon.

"Ugh, I'm not hungry any more," Mary said with disgust as she pushed her plate away from her. "And if you could not talk with your mouthful that'd be greatly appreciated."

"Wha're 'oo so ch-ranky 'bout?" Sirius asked her, his mouth full (I suspected on purpose).

"Just so you know: if you choke I'm not helping you," I told him.

Sirius swallowed and feigned hurt. "But I thought you loved me, 'Laina!" He pouted at me.

"Don't flatter yourself," I scoffed. "By the way, you've got something on your face."

Everyone laughed as Sirius quickly picked up his napkin and wiped at his face. McGonagall came down the table, handing out everyone's timetables and giving me a friendly reminder that if I didn't keep up in her class that I would be dropped from it. Comparing schedules, I found that I had most of my classes with everyone with the exception of Divination which I had with only Mary, and Astronomy which I had with Marlene, Sirius and Remus.

When the first bell rang, we all went our separate ways; Mary and I making the long trek to the Divination classroom. And Merlin, was it ever awkward. Her and I walked with three feet of space between us, both of us having our arms crossed and watching where we were walking.

"Don't think this means I trust you," Mary suddenly said. After a moment she added, "Or that I even like you."

I rolled my eyes. "Well then, I invite you to consider the feeling mutual," I told her.

"I see right through you, Elaina," Mary told me.

"I'm sure you do," I replied in deadpan.

"They do too. They'll never trust you - you should've been in Slytherin with all your slimy friends," she spat. "They're only being nice to you because they feel sorry for you - having lost your parents and all."

I stopped walking and turned to Mary. She wasn't glaring at me so much as looking at me very intently, but I'm sure she thought she was glaring at me. I found it difficult to take her seriously the way her face was puckering in her current temperament.

"You're right, I should've been put into Slytherin," I told her. "Unfortunately for you, the Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor. And you know what? I never asked for all of this, Mary." I spread my arms out to either side for emphasis. "I never asked for my parents to be killed, I never asked to end up living with James' family for the summer, and I sure as hell didn't ask them to befriend me. But they did, and seeing as I'm in short supply of friends, I'm not going to turn them away."

I knew Mary didn't hate me for the kindness her friends were showing me, it ran deeper than that; she wasn't that superficial. I took a slow step forward, like a predator attempting to back its prey into a corner. I saw Mary's contempt for me faltered into fear for a moment before it vanished and she looked up at me with as much distaste as she could manage.

"Trying to intimidate me, Elaina?" she sneered. "How very _Slytherin _of you."

"What's it going to take for you to realize that comparing me to them doesn't affect me? I don't consider it an insult - clearly you've been around James and Sirius too long if that is your default insult," I replied casually. "Besides, I would have thought I proved that I was different from them the day I helped you."

Anger, bright and malicious glowed in her eyes and I watched her hand twitch near the pocket of her robe where her wand was cresting its hem. Even if she had drawn her wand, I still would've had the upper hand in a duel. She was angry, rash, and any spell or curse she cast would be wild, easily blocked or avoidable. My father had taught me that in a duel anger was useless and while it may have burned white hot, once you did what damage made you feel better, it was gone and then you had nothing to motivate you.

"I told you never to bring that up!" Mary hissed. "And you only helped me to save your skin, and believe me, if I had told anyone you were there as well, you would not be enjoying the luxury of Lily's friendship."

I shook my head and told her, "I helped you because it was the right thing to do. And you wouldn't have told anyone I helped you because I'm sure you like your series of events better - that you managed to subdue him and get away and clean yourself up."

"I didn't need your help!" Mary shouted, and it echoed off the walls.

"Well, you weren't exactly turning me away when I offered it, were you?"

I turned without another word and continued to walk to the Divination classroom, the bell would ring any minute now and I was not about to be late to my first class on the first day.

The classroom was, as always, hazy with incense smoke and without even looking around I crossed the room and took the first open seat I came across plopping myself beside a boy from Ravenclaw who started at the admittedly violent way I slammed by bag onto the table. Mary came in just as the bell rang and I couldn't help the satisfied smirk that spread across my lips as I watched her stand there awkwardly looking for somewhere to sit. She finally decided on sitting next to a girl from Hufflepuff. This was one of the only classes where all the houses were mixed into it because there were only a few people from each house taking it.

Professor Kiraly entered a moment later and class began. In her rasping, husky voice she told us that we would be honing our inner eye more than ever using meditation and the help of trance inducing herbs like the once famous oracles at Delphi, and analyzing our dreams to determine if they were just dreams, or our inner eye giving us glimpses into the future when our minds and bodies are most at ease. I didn't hear much of what she said after that. The reason I took Divination when most people chose to drop it when they could, was that it gave me the chance to sleep in class and not miss anything and, double bonus, I had Divination three days a week as my first class. It was easy to fake your way through assignments as long as you had a creative imagination.

The bell rang and I gathered my things and headed to double Transfiguration, but as I was walking out of the classroom, Mary decided it would be a good idea to throw her shoulder into me, almost knocking me from my feet. And the only reason I didn't retaliate, like say, tripping her down the spiral stairs, is because she sped up to be at least six people ahead of me.

Mary flounced into the Transfiguration room ahead of me and I paused, looking around the room for an open seat. Gryffindor had this class with Ravenclaw and as I looked around Lily was sitting with James, Remus with Peter, Alice with Frank, but Marlene and Sirius were sitting by themselves and three guesses where Mary went first.

She waltzed right over to Sirius and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she took the open seat. He turned with a look that clearly read "what do you think you're doing?" but was too polite to actually say anything. Sirius turned around in his seat and found me standing in the doorway, he promptly sent me a look that begged for my help. All I did was smirk and make my way to the open seat beside Marlene.

"Hey!" she said with a smile. "How was Divination with Mary?"

I rolled my eyes. "You don't want to know."

Marlene then looked past me to where Mary was attempting to engage Sirius in conversation, but he was clearly not paying any attention from the glazed over look in his eyes. "She's not exactly warming up to you, is she?"

"Are we honestly surprised?" I whispered as Professor McGonagall entered the room.

McGonagall told us that this year she would be focusing on getting us prepared for our N.E.W.T exams at the end of June and that the theorems we were to be learning were far more advanced than anything we encountered thus far and that our transfigurations were only going to become more complex as the year progressed. I almost wanted to slam my forehead against the desk as she spoke because I had the fleeting suspicion that she was only saying all of this to maybe frighten me into dropping the class before I failed so miserably at it.

After she was done, she told us that for today's lesson we would be transfiguring chameleons into clocks and would be pairing off. I watched everyone look around the room, making eye contact with their potential partner and nodding in acknowledgment. I leaned forward when McGonagall had her back turned, tapping Remus on the shoulder.

"Be my partner?" I asked almost desperately.

He smiled and nodded. "Sure, Elaina."

"Your instructions are on the board and I will be coming around to check your progress," McGonagall said. "You are to perform this transfiguration first aloud and then, after you have succeeded, silently."

There was the scratching of chairs against the floor as people stood, moving to the table their partners were at. Remus slid over the table dividing us with a witty smile. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and turned around a little surprised to see Sirius.

"Tired of Mary already?" I asked.

"I swear she was never this insufferable when we were dating," he replied. "Be my partner?"

I hissed through my teeth. "I'm sorry Sirius, I asked Remus to be my partner. He's the one who's always helped me with Transfiguration in the past."

Sirius looked to Remus who shrugged. "Sorry Padfoot." Really, he didn't look all that sorry.

Sirius' expression fell. "Oh, no it's fine."

I grabbed Marlene's arm, pulling her up beside me. "I'm sure Marlene wouldn't mind saving you from Mary, right Marlene?"

Marlene grinned in reply and said with a laugh, "Sure, I'll be your partner Sirius just give me a minute to get my stuff."

"Now I feel bad," I told Remus as Sirius and Marlene went back to his table. But I couldn't help but inwardly grin seeing that Mary had to partner with Peter, who, in all honesty, didn't look too thrilled about their partnership either.

"Sirius will get over it," Remus assured me. "But I suggest we start working because McGonagall is giving us the stink eye."

I really never made it to the "perform it silently" part of the lesson. Remus, smart as he was, managed to successfully transfigure the chameleon after only a couple tries while I struggled a bit more. Remus helped me as much as he could, but by the end of the lesson the only thing I had managed to accomplish was a clock whose face kept continually changing colors… and had a tail.

"Remus, just promise me you'll be my partner for the rest of the year," I told him as we walked out of the classroom.

"You weren't that bad," he tried to tell me.

"Yeah well, if I don't keep up my grade in that class, McGonagall will drop me from it," I told him. "It's not something I can afford right now."

"It's only the first day of classes," James said coming up on my other side after saying good-bye to Lily who was headed to Ancient Runes. "She's not gonna drop you after one class."

"That's easy for you to say, how many tries did it take you?" I asked,.

"I dunno, like, four?" he replied with a shrug.

"Four!" I cried, incredulously. I threw my head back and groaned, "I'm going to be out of the class by the end of the week!"

"Maybe not," came Sirius' voice, followed by an arm around my shoulder. "What was your Transfiguration O.W.L?"

"I got an E," I replied.

"Then you'll be fine, I think," said Peter. "McGonagall wouldn't take you if you got anything less."

That wasn't exactly a comforting thought considering McGonagall only agreed to me being put in her N.E.W.T level class because Dumbledore let me change my schedule.

Sirius, sensing my sudden uneasiness, held me closer to his side. "You'll be fine! I have full confidence in you!"

* * *

**Hello and welcome to another lovely filler chapter!  
I really just wanted to use this chapter to set the tone of Mary and Elaina's  
mutually exclusive dislike. If you can't figure out the deeper reason that  
Mary doesn't like Elaina, it'll be explained in a little bit. And I wanted to  
show that Elaina is going to have friends outside of the Marauders and Lily  
right now being Marlene. But there is another character who is probably my  
favorite and she'll be introduced when it comes time for Quidditch try-outs.**

**Next chapter we're going to be headed to DADA to learn what Derek as  
a Professor has in store for their seventh year! **

**Also, like I said last chapter or the chapter before, I'm running out  
of things to happen until Quidditch try-outs as that is the next major  
event I have planned so if you have any ideas, feel free to let me know! **

**Onto reviews! I would love to thank: **Le26199, Lady Gwyn of Loxsley  
Shadows of Silver, nessa1998, Gen, chemistrygoddess, krazykook,  
JaneSkye, Mogseltof, AuntMo, and Spot'sGalFrom1899 **- Thank you guys  
for all your kind words, it really means a lot to me! **

**See everyone next chapter. I'll try not to take so long this time! **

**Review?**

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/1/2013**


	14. Derek In The Role of Professor

**Ch. 13 - Derek In The Role of "Professor"**

_It is complexly_  
_woven. That much too_  
_has pretty well been_  
_proven. We are loath_  
_to continue our lessons_  
_which consist of slaps_  
_as sharp and dispersed_  
_as bee stings from_  
_a smashed nest_  
_when any strand snaps— _  
- The Fabric of Life, Kay Ryan

Before classes the next day I made a stop by the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to see Derek. He had his back to me when I entered and I looked around taking in the changes of the room. He had pulled the shutters up from the windows allowing the morning sun to stream in, but he had the walls painted a deep blue to keep the room's mysterious feel.

"So," I called out, catching Derek's attention, "fancy seeing you here."

He turned and a smile crossed his handsome, albeit aging face. It struck me that he was my _Professor_ now and for some reason the title made him seem so much older. I finally took notice of the creases at the corners of his eyes, how deep his laugh lines were, and the way his chestnut brown hair was turning white just above his ears.

"Shouldn't you be at breakfast?" he asked.

"I came to see how your first day of classes went," I replied, absently setting my bag on a table and leaning against it.

Derek chuckled, answering, "They went perfectly fine, thank you very much." He paused for a moment, looking up to the right before continuing, "Actually now that I think about it, the third years were rather bratty."

"They usually are," I replied. "How did you end up teaching here anyway?"

He crossed his arms and shook his head. "Well, I didn't want to when Dumbledore first asked me, but you come to understand that no one says 'no' to that man." Then Derek went around the table situated at the front of the room and adjusted the papers there. "How was your first day?"

I shrugged. "Not bad, could have been better. I think McGonagall's got it in for me now that I've changed my courses."

Derek nodded, smiling ruefully to himself. Then he looked back up and gave me a pointed look, a deep penetrating stare and his eyes roamed over me as if he were looking for something wrong with me. "How are you?" he asked, seriously.

I looked down at my shoes, noting the way the light cast off by the floating candles was reflected off the patent leather. I turned over my answer a few times before looking back up. "I think I'm starting to be okay. I try not to think about them too much at least when I'm around other people, it helps. But sometimes I miss them so much I think it'll kill me."

Derek nodded, knowing all too well the feeling I described, as he rounded the table and came to stand in front of me. He placed his hand against the side of my neck the way my father used to. "You'll be okay, Elaina, you're a strong girl. And time doesn't heal all wounds, just bandages them."

As he kissed the top of my head, I understood that the parameters of a teacher/pupil relationship would never fit Derek and me. I had known him all my life, he was my uncle, in fact when I was little my parents encouraged me to call him "Uncle Derek". He would always be more to me than just a teacher, and I would always be more to him than just a student.

"Now get to breakfast! And I'll see you in class," he said, playfully shoving me away from him.

Unfortunately for me as I was making my way to the Great Hall, the bell dismissing breakfast rang and my stomach growled for good measure. I sighed and immediately changed my course for the Charms classroom. _I guess I just have to wait until lunch_, I thought to myself taking the stairs two at a time, easily side-stepping clumsy underclassmen. When I reached the Charms classroom, I took the same seat I'd possessed in years past taking out my book, parchment and a quill.

Someone took the seat beside me just as my stomach growled again. "Sounds like you need this," came Sirius' voice and suddenly there was a bagel with cream cheese and jam wrapped in a napkin thrust in front of my face.

"You are amazing," I told him, snatching the bagel and taking a bite.

Sirius laughed, "Tell me something I don't know. Just don't let Flitwick see you, he'll make you pitch it." He took out his things too, wondering, "Where were you this morning?"

I swallowed my mouthful before I answered, "I woke up late and decided to see Derek before breakfast."

"Lily did say she tried to wake you but you apparently weren't having it."

"I'm not exactly complaining about the amount of sleep I got with how I've been sleeping," I replied.

He turned toward me, his sharp grey eyes taking in the features of my face with a scrutinizing gaze. It was almost the same look Derek had given me not twenty minutes earlier. I met his eyes and felt goose bumps race across my arms. "What?" I asked.

"Are you still having nightmares?"

"Not rea -" I coughed around the sudden tightness in my throat. With a sigh of irritation that had nothing to do with Sirius, I told him, "Not as frequently."

Sirius nodded, though he didn't seem wholly satisfied with my answer and turned his attention to Flitwick, who was balancing precariously on the stack of books he used to see over his podium and adjusting his notes for our lecture. I was diligently taking notes like a good student should when a piece of folded parchment found its way in front of me. I set my quill down and unfolded the torn piece of paper and couldn't help but smile at the boy scrawl I found there.

_You're coming to the party on Saturday night, right? _

I furrowed my brow and wrote a questioning response, sliding it back to Sirius. A moment or so later, the parchment was back in front of me.

_The party Gryffindor throws every year after the first full week of classes. _

Ah, right, I had forgotten. It was almost tradition for every house to throw a party celebrating the kick-off of the new school year at the end of the first full week of classes. In years past, I had not been in attendance to the Gryffindor party because I was at the Slytherin party. I briefly wondered how the two would differ. The Slytherin party was usually a high end affair, semi-formal dress was a must and soft classical music would play through the half-light of the common room, everyone casually sipping at their tumblers that were usually full of firewhiskey. It was definitely reminiscent of the parties our parents held and attended. Then as the night wore on you could see people pairing off going to darker corners of the room or girls following boys up to their dorms.

I imagined the Gryffindor party being much more of a ruckus affair. Loud music, sleazy dancing, excessive drinking.

Sirius elbowed me and I realized I hadn't answered him yet. I scribbled my affirmative reply and pushed the parchment back to him. Out of the corner of my eye I watched a wide grin spread across his features as he turned toward me, still smiling. I felt a slow smile spread across my face as I looked at him, taking in the smooth, handsome angles of his face. Then Sirius reached out, taking my free hand before he lifted it to his lips and kissed the back of it.

He dropped my hand and went back to taking notes while I tried to desperately ignore the pitching sensation in my stomach.

**-:-**

I was practically bouncing from excitement when I walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom after Charms and promptly took the open seat beside Marlene.

"My, don't we look excited," she commented with a chuckle.

I smiled at her. "Derek was my father's best friend, I just have a feeling it'll be a great class."

The late bell rang bringing with it the last stragglers. The class was split right down the middle, Slytherin on one side, Gryffindor on the other. Funny how before this year, you could have found me sitting among the Slytherins rolling my eyes at my friends as they openly mocked my own house. I shook the irony away from my thoughts as the door to Derek's office opened and he came strolling out.

I heard many of my female classmates, including Marlene, take sudden, gasping intakes of air as they got their first up close look at Professor Perkins. Already I knew that some of them had developed school girl crushes on the man I considered my uncle. It took a lot of self-control not to laugh out loud. If my father were still alive, I imagined the two of them would laugh about my classmates having crushes on him.

Derek rounded the front table and leaned against it, crossing his legs at the ankles. "Good morning class," he said with a smile. The class echoed back a pathetic reply and Derek tsk'ed, "Come on now, I know you can do better than that… _Good morning class!_"

"Good morning Professor!" came the collective, sarcastic reply.

He nodded. "Very good. As you are all aware, my name is Derek Perkins and I am going to be playing the role of your Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. I'll go ahead and tell you a little about myself - I, too, attended Hogwart's under the classification of Gryffindor. I'm also an Auror, my partner was the former Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

"I'll also have all of you know that I am well aware of the Slytherin/Gryffindor rivalry, however in my classroom you will all be civil and amicable. I will not tolerate degrading, teasing or mocking fellow students and should I catch any of you doing such a thing I will not hesitate to subtract points, hand out detentions, or send you to the Headmaster no matter your house."

Derek pushed himself off the table and clapped his hands together before he began to walk around the room. "Now, I'm sure you're all wondering what this class will have in store for you this year. Unlike many of your other Professors, I'll not shield you from the unpleasant business happening outside the walls of this school - some of you are already more aware of it than others. You are all old enough and, hopefully, mature enough to know what is happening in the world you live in."

"That said, this course will be a more practical, hands on class to prepare you for the darkening world; we will spend very little time with our noses in books and more time with our wands in our hands. Your lessons will be focused on proper dueling technique, learning more advanced defensive and offensive spells, I will teach you how to defend not only your body but your mind, as well as perfecting your non-verbal and wand-less magic because lets face it: you don't want to be helpless should you lose your wand in a fight. I do not expect you to succeed the first, or even second time around, but that is why I'm here."

I heard everyone around me murmur with anticipation while I felt my hand tighten around the wooden strut holding mine and Marlene's table together. Derek was going to be making this a mostly practical class. Yes, in other classes there were practical lessons but mostly we worked in books - Derek was changing that. We would be dueling, and performing _wand-less_ magic which was dangerous, though I doubted if any of my classmates would be able to perform the most basic of spells without their wand.

Due to my father's lessons, I was far more advanced than any student my age should be. If I could out-duel and kill a full grown Death Eater, I could certainly out-duel my sixteen/seventeen year old classmates. I would have to hold back, especially when it came time for us to begin to learn how to perform wand-less magic. Wand-less magic was dangerous because it was wild, difficult to control and powerful beyond belief which is why wands needed to have cores with magical qualities, because ordinary sticks of wood would end up destroyed with all that magic flowing through it. The magical cores diluted a wizard's magic, making it more easily controllable. Only the most powerful wizards had full control of their magic to the point they didn't need a wand - do you think Merlin and Morgana Le Fay used a wand?

As for me, wand-less magic was the first thing my father started our lessons with when I was thirteen.

**-:- **

"I dunno about anyone else, but I think Perkins is the first Defense Professor we'll have who actually knows what the hell he's talking about," Sirius said at lunch after class.

"It does seem like it'll be a good class," Peter replied with a nod.

"I'm just excited for when it comes time to actually duel, can't wait to land a nasty spell or two on a Slytherin," said James.

I sat in between two conversations. Sirius, Peter, James and Remus were on my left discussing Defense Against the Dark Arts. On my right sat Marlene, Mary and Lily who were gushing over Derek - well, more like Mary and Marlene were gushing while Lily was shaking her head and laughing.

"Do you think he's married?" Mary wondered with a sigh.

Marlene shrugged. "I don't know, but my oh my is he fit! Definitely an improvement over the _boys_ that surround us."

"You two do know he's old enough to be your father?" Lily commented.

I was silent as I poked at my lunch in more than mild disinterest. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't hungry because my stomach couldn't decide if it was twisting with hunger or anxiety. I was trying to figure out how in the world I was going to down play my abilities in Defense when I considered giving anything less than my everything a failure.

I hadn't noticed that the conversations taking place on either side of me had stopped until Marlene elbowed me painfully in my side. I yelped and turned to glare at her. "What!"

"We are trying to talk to you, you know," Mary snapped.

I snorted, and replied just as nastily, "Oh please, like you would talk to me if you had a choice."

"And did you hear anything I said, either?" James asked me.

I turned to him. "No, what did you say?"

"Quidditch try-outs are next Saturday morning," he told me. "You're still planning on trying out, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

He nodded. "Good, and don't think it's going to be easy."

"James, I was the MVP three years running in summer leagues not to mention I can outrun your sorry rump, I think I'll be fine," I replied. I turned back to Marlene, Mary and Lily. "Now what did you want?"

"Is Professor Perkins married?" Marlene asked.

I shook my head. "Widower, his wife died about ten years ago and I wouldn't suggest bringing it up to him."

Lily sighed, "Oh, that's so sweet, he still mourns her."

If only it were as sweet as Lily thought. Derek's late wife was a muggle named Eileen and from what I remember, she was quite stunning. I was around six or seven when she died and Derek had come to live with my family for awhile because my father didn't trust him on his own. I wouldn't fully understand what happened that caused Derek to move in with us until much later, I only knew that "Aunt Eileen" had passed away and gone to a better place and that "Uncle Derek" needed us . I later learned that she died in childbirth, she had gone into labor prematurely and had complications. She died from blood loss, and the baby only lived long enough for Derek to name him and for the birth and death certificates to be within two days of one another. He named the baby Arthur Demetri Perkins; Demetri after my father.

I don't remember the funeral, but I remember that Derek was not the same man after Eileen died. He didn't leave the guest room my parents gave him for weeks, my mother personally delivered his meals, and my father forcibly made him shower and take basic care of himself. I don't remember much of that time, but Derek would later tell me (when I was old enough to understand) that _I_ was the one who helped him the most. He told me that everyday without fail, no matter how much he turned me away, that I would come in and sit on the bed and tell him about my day, or I would bring one of my children's books and read to him to show him how much I was learning. He told me that because I saw no darkness in the world in my childish naiveté, I had helped him see the light in it.

I shook myself out of my morbid trip down memory lane just as I heard the bell ring for the last class of the day. With a sigh I gathered my bag and headed to Astronomy with Sirius, Marlene and Remus.

"What class does James have right now?" I wondered aloud.

Sirius and Remus cast each other a knowing look before trying not to laugh out loud. Sirius cleared his throat and answered, "James is currently on his way to Muggle Studies."

Marlene threw her head back with a laugh. "Why? What would posses his pampered, Pureblooded arse to take Muggle Studies?"

"He signed up for the class before Lily agreed to date him; he thought it would impress her if he was… oh, how did he phrase it…" Remus sighed, tapping his chin with his forefinger.

"If he was 'making an attempt to learn about her people'," Sirius supplied, "like muggles were a foreign species."

"And then he forgot to drop it," Remus finished. "Now he's stuck with it."

I shook my head. "Oh my goodness, that's too funny."

* * *

**Viola! Chapter 13! And at a much quicker rate than the previous chapter!  
You guys should be proud of me!**

**This was kind of another filler chapter, but not really. I wanted this chapter  
to focus on Elaina and Derek's relationship, and for us to learn a little  
more about Derek's life. I made his life so sad, I feel bad! Poor guy. **

**Also, doesn't Derek's DADA class sound like it's going to be awesome! **

**And, according to my lunar calandar (that I looked up, thanks Google!)  
a full moon is in about two days from the time of this chapter. And  
I think I figured out an event or two to suffice until Quidditch try-outs (finally).**

**OH! I also made a forum for the HP Fandom on here! It's like HPFF forum's help  
section but for FF. This site needs a HP Fandom help center too, and only users of  
HPFF and its forums can post there or glean help from it, so I made one here.  
Feel free to check that out, it's not done yet, but over the next couple days  
I'll be working on it. **

**And there's one thing that has been bothering me lately. HOW DO YOU GUYS READ  
YOUR STORIES? I feel like I am the only one who reads it with a dark background  
using the 1/2 setting making it run down the center of the page all nice and neat.  
I find it easier to read that way. But I'm really curious how other people read it.  
So help me quench my curiosity and let me know? Haha. **

**Finally... Reviews! I cannot thank you guys enough for the continous kind  
comments I recieve about this story. I honestly didn't think this brain-child  
story of mine was going to recieve the response that it has. So, I would like  
to thank... **_Priyu0624, bananafreak97, JaneSkye, ZeLuNatic22, Isabella95,_  
_Artemis1922, rynn, Gen _**(GET AN ACCOUNT SO I CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER YOU!  
YOU'VE REVIEWED EVERY CHAPTER AND I CAN'T EVEN PROPERLY THANK YOU!),  
**AuntMo, krazykook, Mogseltof, **and** Le26199. **You guys are seriously amazing and  
I have the best readers in the world! **

**Review? **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/1/2013**


	15. Secrets and Lies

**Ch. 14 - Secrets and Lies**

_Tell all the truth, but tell it slant  
Success in circuit lies  
Too bright for our infirm Delight  
The Truth's superb surprise  
As Lightning to the children eased  
With explanation kind  
The truth must dazzle gradually  
or everyman be blind -  
_- Emily Dickinson

"You look like death," Marlene commented when I slid beside her at the breakfast table.

I reached out, taking two waffles and throwing them on my plate. "Thank you for putting it so delicately," I replied dryly.

"You didn't get to bed til late last night," Lily added, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.

I rubbed my hands over my face and then my fingertips under my eyes, even though the only make-up on face was yesterday's. I was exhausted. "Yeah, Pomfrey had me classifying herbs for an hour later than I usually stay and then I was in the library working on the essay Slughorn assigned, I caught the end of dinner, and had a star chart to finish," I explained, reaching out for the syrup and drowning my waffles in it - I had a feeling I'd need the sugar.

If I looked like death, then Remus when he came in looked like death warmed over. He looked sickeningly pale, bringing attention to the discoloration his scars made against the rest of his skin. It looked like he had lost a significant amount of weight since the last time I saw him, the circles under his eyes that usually were not very noticeable had intensified making his eyes look more gold than amber. Though he was trying his best to be subtle, I noticed that James had Remus firmly by one elbow guiding him to the table.

Actually, as I looked over the other three, they looked almost as ragged and tired as Remus did. I hadn't seen the anxiety and worry that overwhelmed James and Sirius' expressions since the day of my hearing and seeing those expressions on their faces again automatically made uneasiness bury itself in my stomach.

The boys all took their seats, but I noticed that Remus was on the end, furthest away from everybody (which was usually Peter's seat), where he proceeded to pile every breakfast meat available to him onto his plate. Sirius came over to my side of the table and took the open seat there. There was silence. Now, I felt like the outsider because it looked like all of them knew something I didn't from the way Peter said a curt 'good morning' to the way that Lily automatically reached out and squeezed James' hand as if to comfort him. I turned to my right to look at Marlene questioningly but she merely shrugged and returned to her breakfast.

I watched all of them share looks with one another, seeming to have conversations with mere glances. Were they not speaking because I was there? Had I done something wrong that I don't remember? This was what I had been worried about on the train last week - James and Sirius may accept and include me at _home, _but here was an entirely different matter. I hadn't been around long enough to be privy to whatever was making all of them anxious.

"If you guys want to talk about something, all you have to do is ask me to leave," I said abruptly. "I'll just take my breakfast on the go."

I had tried to keep the irritation from my tone because I knew I shouldn't have been surprised.

As I reached across my half eaten plate for a bagel, a look of utter shock crossed Lily's face, but as she opened her mouth to say something no words followed. James, too, looked like he wanted to say something and the expression on his face was something akin to… hurt? I didn't turn to look at Sirius, somehow knowing that his face would hold a look of solid indifference.

I stood from the bench and picked up my bag, turning my attention to Mary sitting on the otherside of Lily. "Are you ready?"

Mary blinked her wide brown eyes in shock but nodded as she stood, swinging her own bag onto her shoulder. I may not have liked Mary very much, but it was rather nice to have someone to walk with to class. It also helped that she hadn't said anything to make me want to hit her yet.

The last thing I heard behind me sent a shudder all the way up my spine. "She _didn't_ have to leave."

It was Remus speaking, but it didn't sound like Remus. His voice was low and husky, a stark difference from the light, charming tone that was usually heard. There was a dark edge to his tone that sent the hair on the back of my neck rising to their ends.

**-:- **

Mary walked ahead of me into the Transfiguration classroom and once again, the only open seats were beside Marlene or Sirius. Just like the last time we had this class, Mary took the seat beside Sirius. As I was making my way to Marlene, I was surprised when I heard the low timbre of Sirius' voice, followed by Mary's outraged scoff. She huffed, picked up her things and then shoved passed me taking the seat beside a shocked Marlene.

I set my jaw and sighed through my nose adjusting, my path to seat myself beside Sirius. I chose not to acknowledge him as I took out my things since I was still a little irritated from breakfast; I could feel it prickling just under my skin. Unfortunately, McGonagall had us working in our books today, reading a chapter, outlining it and answering the questions at the end. This meant I was stuck beside Sirius for the entire class.

"I'm sorry about breakfast," I heard beside me after awhile.

I shook my head. "It's fine," I told him through clenched teeth.

In my peripheral vision, I watched Sirius look up to where McGonagall was grading essays. Then he sighed, "No it's not," he said. "You're our friend too, it's just -"

"I understand, I haven't been around long enough." I just wanted him to stop talking to me. The bookwork we would do in this class was probably the only chance I had at keeping my grade up and from the moment he started talking me I had read the same sentence five times.

"No!" he hissed. I could tell I was starting to frustrate him. The muscles in his leg, that was resting against mine, were tensing, and I could see his veins pushing against the sinew of his forearms. "Remus has… a lot of family problems…" I turned my head in time to see Sirius' eyebrows tilt together and his mouth purse in thought. "His aunt is really sick, has been for awhile… she's not doing too well, he just got the owl this morning before breakfast…"

I almost laughed. Why? Because I knew what Sirius had just told me was lie. But I doubt if the sound that would have come out of my mouth would have resembled anything like a laugh. I felt the hollow, antagonistic sound bubble up my throat, but with a thick swallow I stopped it passing my lips.

While the enchantment on me made me incapable of lying to others, it didn't make others incapable of lying to _me. _When my curse was first placed on me, I was naïve enough to think that it went both ways - I couldn't lie to others, and in turn, others could not lie to me. I quickly learned that this was not the case so as a way to battle what I saw as an injustice, I learned how to tell if someone was lying to me. I learned how to read people, to mentally keep check of their voice pattern, or any facial tick when they spoke to me. I wasn't exactly a human Lie-Detection Charm, but seven out of ten times I was right.

I couldn't begin to fathom why Sirius was lying to me about something as mundane as Remus' family life and why he was in a dark mood today. I just wished he hadn't lied to me.

"Sirius do me a favor," I whispered, turning to look at him.

He nodded. "Sure."

"I know we haven't been friends for very long, but I have not once lied to you or James," I told him, "so I'd really appreciate it if you didn't lie to me."

Sirius' eyes went wide in shock and his mouth opened into an O. He started shaking his head, "I didn't -" but he stopped short when I raised my eyebrow challengingly.

Instead of digging his grave any deeper, he reached under the table where my hand was resting on my thigh and took it in his own. Sirius' grip on my hand was tight, reminiscent of the way Lily grabbed James' hand at breakfast. Somehow, I understood that this was meant to be his apology for lying to me, and his way of saying that what was going on with Remus was not his to share.

As we were walking out of Transfiguration, there was a commotion. There was a loud crash, a gasp, followed by someone's startled cry of "Moony!". I turned in time to see Peter helping Remus back to his feet and if it were at all possible, the latter looked even more drawn than he had at breakfast. Remus was being supported by Peter and Sirius as he was lead from the classroom, James following closely behind carrying his friend's books.

"Is he going to be all right?" I asked James as he passed me.

James stopped and turned to look at me. He tried to smile, but it was forced and tight, and his usually bright eyes were guarded. "He'll be fine, he just needs rest. We're gonna take him to the Hospital Wing, have Pomfrey give him some Pepper Up Potion."

Another lie!

I wondered if James saw the spark of recognition in my eyes at his lie because the same look he had at breakfast briefly flashed across his face before he turned and followed his other three friends. I stood there momentarily watching them go with my mouth opened slightly, my bottom jaw working back and forth with my indignation. And just as I was about to turn around, I watched the four boys take a corner that would take them in the complete opposite direction of the Hospital Wing.

**-:- **

I slept fitfully.

James, Peter, Remus and Sirius had not been seen since they took Remus to the "Hospital Wing" after Transfiguration. And I hadn't told any one this, but before I headed back to the Common Room after dinner, I made a stop by the Hospital Wing just to make sure I hadn't imagined James lying to me. I hadn't imagined it. There wasn't even any evidence that anyone besides Madam Pomfrey had been in the Hospital Wing all day.

I flopped onto my back staring up a the scarlet hangings of my bed. The dorm room was lit by the lightest rays of sun from the dawn casting everything in muted gold light. I knew I was the only one awake because I was probably the only one who had barely slept all night.

Or at least so I thought.

Beyond the door to the dorm, I heard the portrait hole swing open followed by voices I knew very well. They were laughing and joking with one another and then suddenly with a gasp, Lily shot up from her bed on my left. Like a flash, she was up and as she flew out the door she was pushing her arms through her dressing gown.

"It's about bloody time! I've been worried sick!" she hissed, her voice fading as she descended the stairs.

_My curiosity is going to get me killed one day_, I thought to myself as I flipped off my covers and stood from the bed. Grabbing my wand just in case, I carefully crossed the distance between my bed and door, going down the few steps to the landing and balcony that looked over the Common Room. I slid down the wall so I was crouching on the last step.

"Relax, Lils, we're fine!" came James' voice.

"Fine!" she cried. "You don't look fine! Look at you three, bleeding and bruised!"

"Three?" I mumbled to myself. There shuld have been four of them.

As carefully as possible, I turned my head and leaned as far as I possibly could to look around the corner of the wall. But Lily was right, standing in the middle of the Common Room was James, Sirius and Peter. Remus was no where to be seen. And she was also right about the state they were in. James had a black eye and a corner of his jaw looked slightly bigger than it did earlier. His lip was split and his robes were also torn at the shoulder, the sleeve barely hanging on. At some point it looked like Sirius' nose had bled, there were three large scratches across his chest that stained his shirt red and his left eye was swollen shut. Peter was the only one who looked in mildly okay condition covered in only bruises and no blood.

_What the hell have they been doing!?_ I wondered.

"It's nothing we can't fix before classes," Sirius assured her.

Lily sighed irritably. She shook her head for a moment, then looked back up, asking, "How's Remus?"

James, Peter and Sirius all looked at one another anxiously. "He's… been better," Peter supplied. "Pomfrey said he should be awake by lunch."

"How… was it?" Lily asked hesitantly, her voice quieter.

James shrugged. "He seemed okay this time. Not nearly as violent as last month."

"Not nearly as violent?" Lily questioned motioning to Sirius.

Sirius waved his hand as if he was brushing off her comment. "Superficial wounds." He at least had the decency to pull his robes closed as he met Lily's eyes. "How was Elaina for the rest of the day?"

"Quiet," Lily told him flatly.

James and Sirius both cursed under their breath, each of them fidgeting - James running his fingers through his hair, Sirius pinching the bridge of his nose. As if I needed any more confirmation that they both lied to me earlier, here it was.

"I don't like lying to her," Sirius said under his breath so quietly I almost hadn't heard him. "We're the first friends she makes after her parents are killed and we start it by lying to her? That's a great way to start a friendship."

"She's going to end up figuring it out," Peter said quietly. "She's not an idiot."

James sighed, "I don't like it either, Padfoot, but what else are we going to do?"

"The question is: would it be better for Elaina to figure it out on her own, or for her to be told?" Lily interjected.

_If you would just say what __**it**__ is right now, we can save everyone a whole lot of trouble and we can all go back to bed for a couple hours!_ I thought irritably.

"Can we trust Elaina enough to tell her?" Peter wondered.

Sirius turned to his friend and even from my high vantage point I could see the way his cool grey eyes sparked with something dark, or maybe it was the brief flicker and shift of his features. Unless I was seeing things, it almost looked like Sirius was insulted by what Peter just said.

"_I_ trust her," Sirius stated.

What I hadn't expected was for him to brush past Lily and head up to the dorms. I almost didn't have time to cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself before he reached the mutual landing our dorms shared. My heart was pounding against my chest at the thought of being caught eavesdropping and to my horror, Sirius paused just the slightest bit and I could have sworn I saw his head incline to where I was crouched.

When I heard the boys' dorm door click shut, I walked back into the girls' dorm and crawled back into my bed waiting for my hear to calm down. What I couldn't understand was why I felt like Sirius had just done me a huge favor by telling James and Peter that he trusted me.

But you better believe I was going to find out.

* * *

**Uh-oh! Secrets, secrets are no fun,  
secrets, secrets are for everyone! :P **

**Sorry this is getting out so late guys, I didn't  
realize how much time had gone by since I posted  
the last chapter but then I looked... 12 days! Seriously?  
Why didn't someone come yell at me! Goodness! **

**Next chapter is the party! Woo! Also, the party totally gives me a  
chance to get Elaina and Sirius in close quarters (aka dancing)  
and then explain it away as them having a little too much to drink :P **

**Also, I feel the need to tell you guys about the cat that's living  
under my porch - because I feel we can talk about stuff you know? lol  
Anywho, he is all white and he is deaf as well as mute. And it's so sad  
because I can't take him to a shelter because they'll put him down  
for being deaf! :( And he's the cutest thing ever, but he's like seriously  
afraid of people. So for now the only thing we can do it put  
a box under hte porch with old blankets and stuff and leave food out  
for him. Poor guy, I really don't want him to freeze to death when winter  
comes around. **

**Okay, reviews! I gotta do this quick becaue as soon as I post this  
I have to get ready for work (you know, do the whole responsible  
adult thing). So big thanks to... **Le26199, Mogseltof, AuntMo,  
Gen, Spot'sGalFrom1899, bananafreak97, JaneSkye, Kanika Meskhenet,  
Chloe Black, ksks, RoxyBabyX**, and **amrawo**! Thanks you guys! **

**Review? **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/3/2013**


	16. Gryffindors Know How to Party

**Ch. 15 - Gryffindors Know How to Party**

_Why did you let your eyes so rest on me, _  
_And hold your breath between? _  
_In all the ages this can never be _  
_As if it had not been. _  
- A Moment, Mary Elizabeth Coleridge

I was surprised on Friday morning when I went down into the Common Room before breakfast to find Remus sitting in one of the armchairs by himself. He looked one hundred percent better than he did on Wednesday morning. His eyes were bright and alert and the circles under them seemed to have vanished. True, he had come back on Thursday covered in a few bruises that were in their final stages of healing, but he seemed happier.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?" I called out, adjusting my bag and making my way toward him.

Remus looked up at the sound of my voice and smiled sheepishly. "I was waiting for you, actually," he admitted. "I was wondering if I could have the pleasure of accompanying you to breakfast."

I chuckled, "Of course, how can I resist when you're such a charmer, Remus?"

He took my arm with a warm smile, choosing to ignore the teasing tone of my voice before he led me from the Common Room. It didn't take long before Remus pulled us to a stop and he took my bag off my shoulder, swinging it around his own despite my protests.

"I actually wanted to talk to you, Elaina," he said as we continued walking.

"Oh?" I replied. "What about?"

Remus swallowed thickly and his eyebrows furrowed as though he were unsure of how to continue. "I just wanted to apologize for the other morning and if James and Sirius weren't exactly civil to you that day."

I pulled him to a stop then, shaking my head. I already knew where this was headed and I didn't want Remus to have to lie to me either. "Please don't think for a second that you have to apologize to me about anything," I told him. "Your secrets are your secrets, Rem, and James and Sirius were just looking out for their best friend. Rabidly curious though I may be, I've decided that I'm not going to actively pursue it - people tell others their secrets when they're ready for them to be known."

Remus sighed in relief and it looked like a significant weight was lifted off his shoulders. I couldn't expect Remus to share all his secrets with me, I couldn't even expect James and Sirius to share their secrets with me because I wasn't exactly an open book myself. I told them only what information was necessary at the time of whatever conversation we happened to be having. It was a game of deception I was frighteningly skilled at, making them think they knew so much about me and knew me so well when in fact they knew next to nothing.

"How can you trust us so blindly," Remus wondered, "when it could be something dangerous?"

I shrugged and replied, "It has to start somewhere."

It truly did. It wasn't fair that I was treating them like my old friends, that I was guarding myself when my new friends were nothing like the old. If I could trust them while they kept this one secret from me, dangerous or not, then I could slowly come to trust them with my own secrets… both the dangerous ones and the mundane ones.

Remus smiled, adjusting our bags on his shoulder, and took a deep breath before he took my arm again and started leading us toward the Great Hall.

"So, Sirius tells me that you're going to be making your first appearance at the Gryffindor party tomorrow night," he said casually.

I nodded with a smile. "Yes, I am. I don't really know what to expect to be honest, I was always at the Slytherin party and it was a much more subdued function."

He laughed, "Would it be terribly predictable to tell you to expect the unexpected?"

"If you and Peter are helping James and Sirius plan it, I think that's a given," I replied.

**-:- **

The Gryffindor Common Room was in a state of chaos on Saturday afternoon. I had successfully made a sly exit from the dorm room since the girls (excluding Lily who was MIA) started getting ready for the party around three in the afternoon. I sat in one of the armchairs deciding to use the time to finish my homework, thankful that I could tune out the noise around me. The party was going to start around eight, but for the time being Gryffindors were helter-skelter all over the place, helping hang up streamers, conjure tables, some of the older students were even attempting to charm a muggle radio to get in the Wizarding Wireless Network. I assumed all of them had been given tasks by one of the Marauders (I just learned that's what James, Remus, Sirius and Peter called themselves, bizarre isn't it?).

I would also like to add that every single person setting up for the party was of the male persuasion.

I ended up being in someone's way more than once and had to move to a table in an area of the Common Room that was deemed finished. After awhile, Lily came striding in through the portrait hole but she didn't look too happy; she was red in the cheeks and mumbling darkly to herself. Anyone in her path quickly removed themselves from it and she didn't give anyone a second glance before she stomped up the stairs. She was followed in a few minutes later by James and Peter.

"I don't understand why she gets so upset about it!" James was saying, "And she really shouldn't have told them not to listen to us, I doubt she'll get anything she wants if she goes down there again."

"Maybe because that's not what the elves are supposed to be used for?" Peter said.

James scoffed, "It's what they live for and it's not like I'm rude about it! I say 'please' and 'thank you', and I'm nice to them, we all are!"

Peter shrugged. "I dunno, Prongs." Something another student, a fifth year named Dashel, was doing caught Peter's attention and he called out, "Oi! You! That's not supposed to go there!"

James and Peter split up and went to separate sides of the Common Room to help set up. Remus and Sirius eventually showed up too and after a quick discussion with Peter and James, they too went to assist the rest of the boys. I watched all of this for awhile with fascination because there was never any kind of set up needed for the Slytherin party, it always just _was_.

"_There_ you are!" came an exasperated voice.

"We were wondering where you snuck off to," came another.

Alice and Marlene were making their way over to where I sat. I inwardly groaned because I had hoped that if anyone came looking for me that the pile of books around me would've hidden me from sight, but apparently not.

"Yes, girls?"

"Come on, we've got to get ready," Alice said. Her hair was in curlers and there were toe separators on her bare, freshly polished feet while Marlene looked like she hadn't even started getting ready yet.

"It's only five thirty, the party doesn't start for two and a half hours," I replied.

"So?" Alice countered. "You have to get ready."

"And you have to help me get ready," Marlene added.

I rolled my eyes. "I am ready."

Alice and Marlene looked at one another and back at me. They scanned their eyes over my appearance and I watched their eyebrows arch up. "What?" I demanded.

"You can't wear that," Alice said with finality.

"And why can't I?" I wondered. "I happen to like this outfit."

"It looks like something my mother would wear," Marlene told me.

My mouth dropped open and I made an affronted noise at the back of my throat. I looked down at my dark blue skirt that fell around my knees and the crème colored, silky blouse I paired it with. Did it really look like something someone's mother would wear?

"Come on," Marlene sighed, taking me by the arm and hauling me to my feet.

I allowed myself to be dragged back to the dorm room with more than slight reluctance. Also, hearing the conversations coming from the dorms of the younger girls didn't help either.

"_Who're you calling a bint, bint!"_

"_Where the hell is my mascara?" _

"_Do you think he's going to like my hair this way, or should I leave it down?" _

"_Ugh! I knew I shouldn't have eaten breakfast this morning, my lucky jeans don't fit!" _

"It's not like that in our dorm is it?" I asked the two of them.

"Of course not," Alice replied with a laugh. "We're a much more classy and matured lot."

I rolled my eyes as Alice pushed open the dormitory door. And as it turns out, Alice probably was right. Instead of the five of us vying for the space of the mirror above our shared vanity, five full length mirrors had been conjured and hovered just at the ends of all our beds. There was also five elegantly carved pieces of wood floating before each mirror, held by what looked like wisps of clouds, it appeared as though the top of a vanity had been sawed off and suspended in mid-air. And if that wasn't enough, before each "desk" was a scarlet upholstered chair. Each of us girls had our very own styling station.

As we stepped in, Lily walked out of the bathroom wearing a robe and her hair was twisted into a towel on her head, while Mary painted her toes wearing some sort of facial mask that turned her face a sea foam green color.

"See?" Marlene said, gesturing to the room, "We've learned."

**-:- **

"See you girls down there!" Mary called out as she exited the dorm room two hours later.

"She's in a good mood," I commented, "I didn't even get a passing threat."

"Yeah," Marlene said, closing her eyes as I did the final touches on her eye shadow. "She's probably hoping to get Sirius' attention early on, or else find some poor sixth year to snog in a corner."

"Marlene, don't be a bitch," Alice said over her shoulder.

"Why is it that I say one bleeding comment and I get hounded, and yet Mary can say whatever she wants and no one says anything?" Marlene wondered aloud.

"Probably because you hold more acidity in one base comment than Mary does in her most malicious taunts?" Lily offered.

I just laughed as Marlene shrugged in a noncommittal sort of way, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Lily's assessment. By the time I had finished with my make-up, Alice had left and we could hear music coming from the Common Room. Marlene threw a bundle of clothes at me and told me to put them on and I did so hesitantly. I slid the fabric of the skirt over my legs until it rested at my hips while the hem brushed and flared slightly at the middle of my thighs. I took a breath as I pulled the tank top over my head as well, smoothing out the scratchy fabric, since it was overlain with lace.

I stepped in front of my mirror and I almost didn't recognize myself to be honest. Being raised the way I was, there was a certain way my mother and I were expected to dress. We were always to be presentable and well put together, whether in respectable skirts and blouses, or slacks and blouses. Articles of clothing such as jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts were meant to be for home-wear only - it was unladylike to be seen in such things in mixed company.

But now I stood before a mirror in my dormitory in a skirt several inches shorter than what I was used to, and wearing a tank top that showed a little too much of my skin for my liking (not to mention the scar across my chest which I was still uncomfortable with people seeing). While I had to admit that I did look good, the person reflected in the mirror seemed like such a delineation from what I knew that I could hear my mother's voice, and what she would say if I tried to wear such an outfit around my house or out in public.

She would chuckle and shake her head, raising a delicate eyebrow as she appraised me from head to toe. _"I don't think so, my dove, while that skirt does make your legs look lovely, could you imagine the aneurism your father would have? Please go back upstairs and put on something more appropriate." _

"Elaina? Are you ready?" Lily asked me.

With a sniff and frustrated huff, I turned away from Lily briefly so I could press my fingertips to the corner of my eye to prevent the tear that had formed from streaming down my face. I ignored Marlene's slight protests as I twisted my hair at the base of my neck and secured it there with a hair tie. I managed to push the momentary lapse in my emotional control to the back of my mind as I turned back to my friends, smiling.

**-:-**

The party certainly wasn't what I expected, while I was right in my previous assumption to expect loud music and sleazy dancing, I had expected the party to be a little more crude than it was. It turns out that Lily had been upset because James had asked the house elves who worked in the kitchens to make food for the party and all of it was spread out on a buffet style table set against a far wall. That table had been complete with a rather large and ridiculous ice sculpture of a lion with a snake between its teeth… Inter-House Unity indeed.

I didn't interact with people very much for awhile and no one really bothered me. Mostly, I people-watched. James and Lily were among the others who were dancing, choosing to slow dance in the middle of the crowd to an upbeat song, lost in their own world. Every once in awhile, he would abruptly spin Lily away from him and bring her back smiling and laughing. They were so adorable it was rather sickening. Remus was involved in an epic game of Wizard's Chess with a sixth year while Peter hovered around taking bets. Sirius was among a group of girls telling some story or another, gesticulating wilding in his, most likely, hyperbolic exaggeration.

Like Lily and James, Alice and her boyfriend Frank were in the crowd dancing, goofing off and generally making fools of themselves, but it was entertaining because you could tell they were having such a good time. I found Marlene by the food table chatting with a fifth year girl I didn't recognize. And I couldn't find Mary, but I was willing to bet that she was among the gaggle of girls surrounding a certain Sirius Black.

I sat in one of the armchairs, my mug of butterbeer clasped between my hands watching the liveliness of the party all around me. Every once in awhile a couple people would look my way and I would watch their eyes drift to my exposed chest, to my half-healed scar, before they turned to whisper to whoever they were with. It made me desperately wish I had a cardigan to cover it. It also made me grateful to my friends because once they knew it was there, they didn't gawk at it, although every once in awhile I would see Lily glance at it and her eyes would sadden or Sirius would glimpse it and immediately look away while his eyes darkened.

Around ten-thirty the music stopped. Everyone looked around to figure out why before James stepped onto the seat of a chair so he was standing above everyone. "Alright kiddies, it's that time!" He called out, "All Gryffindors third year and younger are to head up to their dorms."

No body moved.

James sighed and turned to his fellow Head. "Why does no one take me seriously?"

Lily rolled her eyes and scoffed, "I wonder." She stepped up onto the chair too, and I had to admit that she was a much more imposing figure than James. "You heard him! Any student under the age of fourteen is to vacate the premises immediately!" When only a few students moved toward the stairs, Lily's hands went to sit firmly on her hips, looking for all the world like a mother who had lost her patience with her unruly children. "You have until the count of three, any third, second or first year still down here will be given detention! One… Two… Three!"

You better believe that by the time she reached three, no one under the age of fourteen was in the Common Room. After the younger students went to bed, the music started back up and the real liquor was brought out. I was impressed that the Gryffindor party was responsible enough not to let the younger students of our house be around when everyone got smashed.

Someone came around and gave me a glass of firewhiskey and I drank with everyone after James led us in a rather ridiculous toast. The liquor burned a path down my throat and hit my stomach like a warm coal and sat there. After the toast, everyone was given a new glass and the party started anew.

"Elaina, do you want to dance?"

"Huh?" I had been so lost inside my own thoughts that I didn't see Peter when he came up to me.

He chuckled, "I asked you if you wanted to dance. I just thought I'd ask because I noticed you were sitting over here most of the night."

"Oh… Oh! Sure!" I replied.

Peter smiled brightly as I set my glass down and he took my hand, leading me into the crowd of dancing people. It must have looked like a funny sight to see Peter and I dancing because on any other occasion, he and I were the same height, but in my wedged pumps I towered over him by at least five inches, putting me level with James. I managed to look around when Peter spun me away from him - Lily and James had retreated from the dance floor and were now occupying one of the armchairs, Alice and Frank had disappeared and Marlene was dancing with Remus; she smiled and waved enthusiastically when she saw me looking her way.

"Are you enjoying your first Gryffindor party?" Peter asked over the music.

"I'm having more fun now," I told him honestly. "Thank you for making me join in, I had expected it would've been Sirius or Marlene to make me do it."

Peter shrugged. "Well Sirius probably has some girl or another in his lap."

At his words, I felt my face get hot. I spun away from him again, scanning the room with my eyes, but I couldn't find Sirius anywhere… neither could I find Mary. Suddenly, I felt like all of my organs had dropped out of my body and I thought I was going to be sick. But I didn't understand why. Part of me reasoned that I didn't want to see Sirius leading Mary on (if he was with her), but another part of me whispered that it was something darker and much more scarring.

The third song Peter and I had danced to stopped and I fanned myself with my hand, laughing while Peter made a big gesture of using both his hands. "I think I'm all danced out, what do you think?" he said.

As I opened my mouth, I felt a warm hand drop onto my shoulder and someone said, "I think she can go a few more." He could've screamed it and I would have heard it as though he whispered it in my ear. I cursed inwardly, feeling the goosebumps rip across my legs because I had just shaved that morning and until that moment, my legs had remained perfectly smooth.

Peter shrugged, giving me a mock salute before he turned and trotted away. I turned around with a sigh on my lips, bringing my eyes to Sirius' face. Sadly, whether he was just with Mary or another girl, I couldn't be mad at him because he looked amazing wearing a white button down shirt that was left open, revealing the undershirt beneath, underneath a set of suspenders, and black slacks. And the way he smiled at me made my heartbeat stutter.

_Please let this be a result of the inebriation_, I begged myself.

The music started again, an upbeat song, and yet I found myself with one arm around Sirius' shoulder, my left hand in his right between our chests, while his other hand rested on the small of my back. We were like that for awhile, neither of us speaking while my temple rested against his cheekbone, all the while I feared I'd die of heart failure.

"I'm proud of you, you know," Sirius suddenly said against my ear.

"Oh? For what?"

"Having the courage to wear that shirt," he replied. "I had expected that if you were going to wear a shirt with an open neckline you'd try to glamour over your scar."

"… I entertained the idea of doing so," I admitted at lenght.

Sirius chuckled and I had to remind myself to breathe. "It took James and me months to convince Moony to stop glamouring his; he was so self-conscious, worried that people would treat him differently. And don't tell him this, but there were a fair few people we had to threaten for staring in the beginning."

"So, where were you just now?" I changed the subject.

He pulled back and smirked at me, raising an eyebrow. "Why do I keep getting that question? Can't a guy take a piss without it being a national crisis?"

At that moment, I wanted to be an ostrich so I could bury my head in the sand.

But he shook his head, seeming to ignore the way my cheeks were flushing from shame. "You look beautiful, by the way, I don't think I told you yet," Sirius said, his voice low and filled with such earnest I couldn't even speak to thank him. Then he smiled, taking his hands away and said, "There's just one thing that needs to be fixed."

I titled my head to the side, confused. Sirius' hands came up, one turning my head to the side, while the other reached around, taking the bun my hair was in and began to work with the hair tie, loosening it. After a moment or so, I felt his fingers in my hair, gently tugging at the few knots he found until my hair came to fall around my face and over my shoulders.

"There," he said with finality, one hand still cupping the side of my head, "now you're perfect."

All manner of rational thought I had immediately vacated my mind as Sirius dipped his head forward and pressed his warm mouth to the space just under my right ear. On the side of my neck, I felt his fingertips ghost over my skin, over my shoulder and down my arm until he picked up my hand and raised that this mouth as well.

And it was at that moment, the butterflies in my stomach turned into dragons.

* * *

**OMFG WHY DO I HAVE THE WORST UPDATING SKILLS EVER!  
FUCKITY, FUCK!**

**Uggghhhhh. I'm sorry! But I have a real reason this time! My internet has been  
acting up - my wireless assistant in my laptop keeps spontaneously turning  
itself on and off, so to post this I had to plug into my router box. **

**Also when I should have been writing I was reading "Mark Reads Harry Potter".  
If you don't know what that is, it's this guy's blog as he reads through the HP  
books for the first time and it's hilarious! Google it now! **

**Annd I had a cold for most of this week... like I literally slept for two days  
kind of cold. Thanks for that boyfriend, appreciate it. **

**I don't know how many times I changed the last line of this chapter. I was torn  
between leaving it cheesy like this, or having Elaina make a total fool of herself  
and throw up all over the place. I decided to be nice. **

**The next chapter is in Sirius' POV because we haven't visited his head for  
a good number of chapters. **

**Next: Reviews. I'd love, love LOVE to thank the following people  
for leaving me wonderful comments! - **ZeLuNatic22, alfalfa7,  
SeriouslyJustNo, BoopNoodles, Chloe Black, JaneSkye, Green. Peach,  
Mogseltof, Genguice, AuntMo**, and **amrawo**! THANK YOU! **

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/1/2013**


	17. Just a Little Water

**Ch. 16 - Just a Little Water**

_I thought about how far away Death once  
__had seemed, how unexpected that it could  
__happen to someone I knew quite well,  
__how impossible that this should be the  
__normal thing, as natural as frost and winter.  
_- At the Moment, Joyce Sutphen

Sirius woke slowly, but from the moment he came into consciousness he was fully aware of his stiff muscles, the pulsing sensation pressing against his skull and the slight ringing in his ears. He was also _very_ aware of the other body occupying his sleeping space. He delayed the opening of his eyes for as long as he possibly could, using his free hand (since his other arm was numb, pinned under the other person's neck) to rub his eyes.

Sirius knew he had fallen asleep in the Common Room after the party, all the seventh years did - it was tradition. But who had he fallen asleep on one of the couches with?

His sleeping companion shifted suddenly, made a contented whimpering noise and the hand that was splayed across his chest lifted. Sirius supposed he couldn't delay the moment any longer, he had to open his eyes and find out who was sharing the couch with him eventually.

Taking a deep breath, Sirius thought briefly to himself, _Please don't be Mary_. The last thing he needed right now was Mary thinking that the two of them had a chance at getting back together.

But Sirius' breath left his lungs in a rush when he fluttered his eyelashes back and found Elaina Cochran's peaceful, sleeping face inches from his own. He lifted his head, looking around the Common Room for his friends. James and Lily had fallen asleep spooning on the opposing couch, while Marlene had curled into one of the armchairs. Peter occupied the other armchair, sprawled out haphazardly, and Remus occupied the floor with Alice. He couldn't find Mary.

Sirius turned his attention back to Elaina, using his left arm as her pillow, and Sirius desperately wanted to move it because the pins and needles sensation rippling through his arm was not pleasant, but he couldn't bring himself to wake her. She had enough problems sleeping and needed as much as she could get. So he watched her, admiring the angles and curves of her face, the way her long eyelashes just brushed the tops of her cheeks and how they fluttered with whatever dream she was having.

He looked down between them and flattened out the parts of her skirt that were hiking a little too high before his hand made its way back up tracing her curves, hovering just a breath's width from touching her. But when Sirius reached Elaina's face again, he couldn't resist and indulged. He gently pushed the hair falling in her face back, and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers.

Elaina's forehead creased in her sleep at his touch, probably because his hands were cold as ice. It only took a moment for her to begin stirring, one hand came up and rubbed her face convulsively before it dropped and she opened her eyes.

"Good morning," Sirius murmured sweetly.

Elaina's eyes immediately focused on Sirius' face and in an instant the calm of the Common Room was shot to hell. Elaina made a noise somewhere between a gasp and yelp pushing herself away from Sirius toward the edge of the couch. Unfortunately, their legs had been tangled together and when Elaina went over the edge of the couch, so did Sirius.

_Gasp. Thud._

"… Owww."

"Son of a bitch!"

In tumbling from the couch they had landed on Remus' outstretched arm, both grunting in pain when they hit the floor. The other boy curled into his arm, shaking out the sudden unpleasant jolt of pain that was his wake-up call. The noise and ruckus the three caused made everyone startle awake as well and what they found was Remus cradling his arms, while Sirius lay atop Elaina in a mass of tangled limbs and wrinkled clothing.

"What the hell just happened?" James demanded, fixing his glasses.

"We fell off the couch," Sirius explained with a sigh.

"And landed on me," Remus finished.

"If you wouldn't mind getting off," Elaina said from under Sirius. He turned his attention back to her and couldn't help the dirty grin that overtook his features, after all, Elaina should choose her wording a little more carefully especially considering their compromising position. But Elaina was one thought ahead of him though and rolled her eyes before Sirius could make a grossly immature comment, "Don't. Even. Say. It."

"Grouchy," Sirius muttered, pushing himself to his hands and knees before climbing off Elaina.

She sat up and began working the cricks out of her neck. "Of course I'm grouchy, what do you expect, I woke up and you were staring at me. It was rather disconcerting."

"Can we all stop shouting, please?" Alice mumbled as she sat up.

"No one's shouting Ali, learn to hold your liquor better," Marlene piped up, pulling her ebony hair into a ponytail. Alice groaned in response and leaned forward, putting her head to the floor.

Marlene's forehead creased as her slim eyebrows came together. She looked around the room once, twice, and then craned her neck to look further out. It seemed that she too noticed that one of their number was missing. "Where's Mary?"

Beside James, Lily sighed, "I took her up to the dorms not long after the younger kids went to bed before she made a spectacle of herself."

This seemed to have caught Elaina's attention. She turned her gaze to Lily, asking, "Lightweight?"

And it was more than once voice that replied, "You have _no_ idea."

This brought about a round of chuckles from everyone in the group. They all stayed in the Common Room awhile longer talking about the party the night before (at least the parts they could remember), and recounting their fellow Housemates who made fools of themselves. Lily and James had relaxed back into the couch with her cuddling into James' side. Sirius was glad to have finally reclaimed the couch, deciding to throw a remark to Elaina about how she took up all of his space. Elaina merely rolled her eyes at him and leaned against the couch in front of him, and Sirius entertained himself throughout the conversation by twirling his fingers in Elaina's unkempt curls.

"Can we go get breakfast now?" Peter wondered after awhile when his stomach growled audibly.

At the mention of food, Alice paled and her skin seemed to take on a disconcerting shade of green. Marlene leaned forward, rubbing her hand on her friends back, and laughed, "Maybe just toast for you, yeah?"

**-:-**

Another Gryffindor tradition was to spend the day by the lake the day after the party. Curiously enough, Elaina had tried to decline saying that she would much rather spend the day indoors to get the chance to read ahead for class on Monday.

After a few minutes, Marlene had enough. "Just go get naked and put your damn swimsuit on woman!"

"I don't have a swimsuit," Elaina replied.

Sirius laughed at the deadpan expression Marlene donned before she sighed and said in a much calmer voice, "Fine, but you are coming down to the lake whether you like it or not!"

Half an hour later, Sirius found himself walking down to the lake with his friends. The girls, with the exception of Elaina, all carried bags on their shoulders containing towels and sun-block. Sirius was only half-listening as James talked, choosing to watch Elaina and mentally thank whichever of the girls had managed to force Elaina to put on a pair of shorts due to the warm weather. But he found himself disappointed because Elaina had chosen to wear her Harpies t-shirt, it seemed her courage for wearing open necked shirts lasted just the one night.

Once they reached the gnarled old oak tree they had claimed as theirs way back in first year, it seemed that everything outside of the shade of the tree had disappeared. Gone was the worry about the world outside Hogwart's, the uncertainty of what awaited them upon graduation, the fear of the dark forces at work in their world. For the time being, Sirius and his friends allowed themselves to be teenagers.

Remus, like Elaina, had brought a book to occupy his time and took his place leaning against the trunk using a protruding root to prop up his elbow. James had taken the lowest hanging branch a few feet above and stretched out, removing the snitch he nicked from his pocket before he began to play with it, while Peter brought that day's _Daily Prophet. _Sirius on the other hand chose to spread out in the grass looking up into the sky as the clouds moved by disappearing between the spattering of leaves and branches above him.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see the girls at the edge of the lake, spreading out their towels before they removed their outer clothing covering their suits. Mary and Elaina were on the opposite sides of their little group and it didn't appear either of them would be causing a scene today. The boys all knew of course that none of the girls had any intention of actually getting into the water with the exception of dipping their feet in every once in awhile and all along the shore there were other groups of girls doing much the same thing as the Gryffindors.

The early afternoon wore on, accompanied by the sounds of the other students enjoying the warm weather. Occasionally, Peter would read something from the paper he found interesting, or someone off in another group of people would make a loud noise momentarily catching everyone's attention. Mostly, it was a perfectly relaxing, lazy Sunday afternoon.

"So, Padfoot," James began conversationally, "you and Elaina are getting pretty close."

If Sirius wasn't James best friend and pretty much his brother, he might not have picked up on the hidden probing tone behind James' words. Sirius shrugged as best he could laying flat on his back, replying, "I guess so. She's getting closer to all of us, really."

James nodded, then said, "True. Just… be careful, okay?"

Sirius sat up on his elbows and inclined his head to his best friend still occupying the branch. Both Remus and Peter had stopped paying attention to their respective reading material, waiting to see how this conversation was going to pan out. James was looking down at Sirius wearing an expression of the utmost sincerity, but his eyes held a warning that demanded to be taken seriously.

"What to do mean?" Sirius wondered.

James sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, and pulled before dropping his hand. "There's a lot of things Elaina doesn't need right now and developing a crush on you isn't one of them, mate."

He tilted his head to the side skeptically. "Did Lily put you up to this?" he asked James.

The other boy shook his head as he adjusted his position. "No. I'm serious Pads, you don't see the way you've been looking at her recently. I understand that she's very pretty - _don't_ give me that look Moony, I'm in a relationship, I'm not dead!" James turned away from glaring at Remus before continuing, "Anyway, I know she's very pretty and now you're realizing it because she's apart of our lives now, but I don't want you to end up breaking her heart."

Sirius, for one, was thrown for a loop. He had been looking at Elaina differently? He couldn't have been. Even when Elaina wasn't apart of their lives, when she was still just an enigma and a passing shadow in Gryffindor Tower, Sirius had always thought she was stunning, but that was it. So even then he had to have looked at her the same way he had always regarded attractive girls. But was he looking at her differently now because he knew more about her?

Before Sirius knew her, he always thought that Elaina's beauty was a chilling, dark beauty and he thought that same intimidating characteristic was superimposed into her personality. He thought that Elaina would possess the same _charming_ demeanor as many other pureblooded women he had encountered, but Sirius had been pleasantly surprised to learn that she did not. Sirius had thought he was the biggest walking contradiction to ever disgrace the pureblood society, at least until he met Elaina because her parents had raised her to be a contradiction. She had been raised in pureblooded society, bred to think a certain way, act a certain way and believe certain credos. And yet, her parents had also raised her to understand the irrationality behind what Purebloods believed allowing Elaina to easily form friendships with people like James (whose family was the biggest Blood Traitors around), and Lily (who was obviously Muggleborn).

"I don't really think there's much to worry about, Prongs," Peter said suddenly. "Elaina's not going to fall for Sirius' tricks."

James chuckled, "Maybe you're right, Wormtail."

Sirius laid back down and the topic was dropped. Then he began to think. Sirius supposed he had been treating Elaina little differently lately, acting differently around her but he really couldn't help it, he liked being around her, liked talking to her, and yes he definitely liked looking at her. But what Sirius could not explain was why he always felt compelled to initiate physical contact with her, but it wasn't as though Sirius felt he _had_ to, he did it on impulse, really. It was the complete opposite of how he acted within the confines of a relationship - within those parameters Sirius knew that he was expected to be loving and affectionate and so he was. However, the affection he showed Elaina was given to her without thought and without the knowledge or expectation that it would be returned.

Given that revelation Sirius was now certain that he felt _something_ for Elaina that stemmed beyond friendship and that _maybe_ James had a basis for his concern. Did he love her? Certainly not, but whatever Sirius was feeling for Elaina was not going to go away anytime soon. He just hoped that soon Elaina would come to feel the same way about him without him having to resort to his "tricks" as Peter so charmingly labeled them.

"… Oh this is going to be good," James suddenly said, sitting up on his branch, and distracting Sirius from his thoughts.

Sirius sat up and turned to whatever had caught James' attention. Sirius looked all along the shore of the lake and it appeared that there were some girls who had taken a sudden involuntary dip in the lake courtesy of Amos Diggory and two of his friends, Ian Fitzpatrick and Danny Metz, from Hufflepuff. What had caught James' attention was the fact that the three boys were making their way towards the group of Gryffindor girls who were chatting animatedly, blissfully unaware of the three boys sneaking up from behind.

At first, it appeared as though they were going to take Mary, but Diggory pointed to Elaina who was the only one of their number fully clothed. Now it looked as though Elaina was going to get wet no matter what.

"In you go sweetheart!" Ian called out as he swept Elaina up under her arms and lifted her from the ground.

Elaina immediately began to thrash, shouting "_No!_ Don't you dare! Put me down!"

The girls began laughing and chuckling, grateful that they were not the ones the boys had chosen to pick on. And if they hadn't been so close to the edge of the lake, the Hufflepuff boys might not have found it so easy to throw Elaina into the lake for all her struggling. Although, it had seemed that none of the other girls who had already been thrown into the lake had put up quite the fight Elaina was.

James jumped down from his branch, landing next to Sirius, narrowly missing his leg. "… Something's not right all of a sudden."

Sirius was inclined to agree. Many of the students outside were now aware of what was going on down by the lakeside and had stopped whatever activity they were doing to watch the scene unfold. As Sirius watched, it seemed to take forever, time moved slowly but in reality the next series of events happened in less than a minute.

"Put me the _fuck_ down!"

"Elaina swore, holy shit!" Peter gasped. That alone should have been enough to ensure them of how serious the situation was becoming.

All four boys were taken aback by the curse word that flew from Elaina's delicate mouth. They had never heard her swear before, in fact Sirius wondered if her mouth was even capable of forming the syllables for a dirty word, but there it had been, shouted at the top of her lungs.

"It's just a little water, Elaina," Danny laughed.

Then suddenly, all at once, the three boys released their hold on the flailing girl and she went sailing, tumbling through the air and broke the lake's mirrored surface with a loud, resounding splash. The last thing anyone heard was Elaina's distinct scream of _terror_ before it was interrupted by the breaking and crashing of disrupted water.

Unlike many other bodies of water that gradually descended into deeper waters, the Black Lake on the Hogwart's grounds did not. While there were areas of beach and shoreline that did the gradient into the depths, mostly, when you sat at the edge of the lake to dangle your feet in, you sat at the edge of a cliff. So when the Hufflepuff boys released their hold on Elaina, they did not send her into the shallows, they sent her sinking into the murky depths.

Sirius felt himself go tense the moment he heard Elaina scream the way she had because it had brought back the memory of her first night at James', of the scream she released in the complete silence of that night. Sirius looked to his best friend who had also seemed suddenly rigid as they counted the seconds away before Elaina would break surface.

The laughing around the lake died quickly as the lake's water settled and stilled. But Elaina did not break the surface.

"She-she's just… playing a trick… right?" Remus wondered shakily.

The girls were on their feet now at the edge of the water, Mary included, with their hands cupped around their mouths calling for Elaina, telling her that this wasn't funny and she better reappear this instant.

"_You fucking idiots know she can't swim, right!?" _

Sirius turned. Evan Rosier had broken off from his group of friends and stood in the middle of the hill leading down to the lake. Briefly Sirius wondered if the boy was lying, but could not figure out what good it would do, Evan lying about Elaina's apparent inability to swim. And if he was lying, then there was no explanation for the way his eyes were widened in fear and his skin was several shades paler than usual.

"Someone get a Professor!" with that cry and several splashes, the tense silence was broken.

Sirius turned to see that Mary, Marlene and Alice were gone from the group of girls - Lily also could not swim. Ian and Amos had dove in as well and Sirius and James were close behind. Students on the shore did several spells moving the water around, trying to find the limp figure of Elaina among the seaweed and underwater fauna and trying to light the dark depths giving those in the water better visibility.

Sirius broke the surface with a gasp, his heart was beating so fast he could barely think. He looked around frantically as the others broke the surface as well - there was only so far down they could do before they had to come up for air. Marlene and Ian had yet to resurface, but Sirius was sure it was because they had performed a Bubble Head Charm on themselves and thus were safe to explore deeper. With a resounding clarity, Sirius wondered how he could have been so stupid! They were wizards! There was no need for them to be physically searching the water.

"Moony! Summon her!" he cried.

"What?" Remus called back from the shore.

"_Summon her!_"

Remus, who had been one of the students using his wand to light the depths of the lake, raised his wand and shouted, if a little unsurely, "_Accio Elaina!_"

Sirius prayed with all his might that it would work. The limitations of a Summoning Spell were not fully known, but if it could work over long distances, would it work on summoning a human body from underwater?

Somewhere to his right, Sirius saw something large break the surface and continue sailing through the air. It was Elaina! Her body continued to move through the air until it collided with Remus, knocking the boy from his feet.

Everyone was out of the water less than ten seconds later, crowding around the unconscious girl as Remus laid her out in the grass. Sirius crawled to her side, breathing heavily, heart in overdrive and put his ear to her chest. He could hear the water that clogged her lungs sloshing around which meant there was space in her lungs left, but not enough.

"Move!" Marlene shouted, shoving Sirius out of the way.

Sirius watched in fascination as Marlene laid her hands on top of one another and laced her fingers together, before she began to press on Elaina's chest in measured succession. After a minute or two of compressions, Elaina's eyes shot open and she sputtered. Marlene immediately stopped and gripped Elaina by the chin, forcing her head to the side so she could continue to cough up the water that had previously been in her lungs.

Sirius felt like he had taken his first breath of life with the gasp of relief he inhaled. Even though watching Elaina cough and retch water was painful, at least she was alive. But his relief was momentary before it was clouded by righteous anger. Before he even realized what he was doing, Sirius was on his feet and shoved through the crowd until he found one of the Hufflepuff boys.

Sirius couldn't have told you which one it was, the only thing he could tell you, was that he grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt and slugged him right in the face.

* * *

**DRAMA! **

**Okay, I have to make this quick before my laptop decides  
to turn my wireless assistant off again! **

**I don't really have much to say today other than...  
if you live anywhere in the Great Lakes region of the United States  
you have my sympathy, I'm NE Ohio myself, and there is seriously  
like two feet of snow on the ground!  
JESUS WHHHYYYYYY! **

**I am deeply sorry buy because I am unsure of how much  
time I have before my internet turns off for an undetermined amount  
of time, I cannot answer reviews personally from last chapter! **

**Just let me say that I appreciate everyone's nice comments and they  
really mean the world to me! And hopefully next time I update  
my computer will stop being a jerk! **

**Review?**

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/2/2013**


	18. In The Hospital Wing

**Ch. 17 - In The Hospital Wing**

_Cruelty has a human heart,  
And jealously a human face,  
__Terror the human form divine,  
And secrecy the human dress.  
_-A Divine Image, William Blake

Drifting.

I was drifting, somewhere between unconsciousness and reality. My eyes opened on occasion but everything was blurred, I couldn't tell you where I was, I probably couldn't have even told you my own name. My lungs were on fire, the only time they didn't burn was when I was unconscious, and there was a throbbing pain underneath my rib cage.

I could hear people talking around me but their voices were distant, calling me to the light, calling me to consciousness, calling me to reality. I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay in the darkness where there was peace and no pain because I knew when I woke up there would be pain.

Two worlds faded in and out of my vision. One I recognized in its entirety, the other was dimmer with age but still familiar - a memory. And that latter world's call was much stronger than the one in which I truly belonged.

**-:- **

… _I'm twelve years old sitting under the weeping willow in my backyard trying to read a book but the words are blurring in my sight. I can't focus, I'm worried. I haven't seen my father since I was home on Christmas holiday and he didn't come with my mother to retrieve me from the platform at the close of term two weeks ago. My mother told me that he was away for work and from the look in her eyes I knew it was something dangerous and important. _

_I'm hoping that my father is going to be home in time for my birthday, he hasn't missed one yet and if I know my father, come hell or high water I will see him on my birthday. My mother is less sure than I am. She wanders aimlessly about the house, her head somewhere else entirely. She rarely eats and doesn't sleep and when the post comes she frantically searches through the envelopes for one containing my father's handwriting. _

_She thinks I don't notice. My mother still believes me to be too much of a child, no where near enough to an adult to think I might recognize the fear in her eyes, or the desperate lines marking her face. She thinks I am blissfully unaware of her nighttime pacing, of her hand wringing; that I don't know when she reads the paper everyday what she's really looking for is my father's name announcing that his body has been found. _

_But even at twelve I am older than my mother thinks I am and notice much more than anyone realizes. I have to. It is how I am able to precariously walk the line between Pureblood and Blood Traitor - the same line my parents walk. _

"_Ella, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" _

_My head snaps up and I turn so quickly, my neck cricks. My father, the only person who has ever called me "Ella", is walking down the lawn toward me. He is limping slightly, and there's a cane clutched under his right hand assisting him to walk, but he is alive and smiling. _

_My book forgotten, I am on my feet running to my father and before I know it, I've thrown my arms around his middle and I am pressing my face into his chest. The relief I feel is overwhelming and I want to cry, but his laugh seems to melt the ice that buried itself in my stomach. I've missed him so much it hurts._

"_Papa where have you been? I've missed you and I've been so worried!" I tell him, unconsciously clutching him tighter. _

_My father sighs lightly and his free hand comes to rest on the side of my neck. I still haven't taken my face away from his chest, but I feel him bend forward until he kisses the top of my head. "I know you have been and I'm sorry for worrying you and your mother. Have you been behaving for her?" _

_I nod, taking my face away and look up at him. I am, and have always been, his mirror image. Seeing me must've been the first thing he wanted to do before he cleaned himself up because I can see the bruise-like circles under his eyes and his dark hair that brushes his shoulders is weighed down as if it needs washed. And there is something in his eyes that immediately sets my nerves on end, an urgency that he regards me with that he never has before. _

_My father takes a deep breath, holds it in his chest before he releases it, and with the release of that breath he looks more resigned, weaker and more fragile than ever before. It frightens me and I don't like it. My father is not supposed to look this uncertain, this… scared. _

"_Papa, what's wrong?" I demand. _

"_Ella, there is something I need you to do for me, but in order for you to do it, there is something I must tell you and some things I must explain," he replies cryptically. _

_My father takes my hand and leads me back to the house where we meet my mother in the sun room. I cannot understand why there are tears gathering in her eyes as we approach her. She should be happy, smiling because father has returned. _

"_You're really going to do this, Demetri?" she asks him. "She is a child!" _

_My father regards my mother wearily. "I am. She needs to be able to protect herself… __**I **__need her to be able to protect herself." _

_My mother sighs through her nose and nods, consenting to whatever my father has planned for me. As we pass my mother, he kisses her on the cheek and I watch her tilt her head into the touch. _

_Still holding onto my hand, my father leads me upstairs to the library, he turns left and leads me to the furthest aisle. No book in this aisle could be identified by its spine alone. Every single book has been rebound and recovered in the same identical brown leather and embossed on the spines are not titles, but dates. This aisle contains my family's history. Among the thick tomes that housed the bland, text book versions of my family's history there are also smaller books - journals from ancestors catalogued and shelved with the corresponding dates._

_Before that moment, I never set foot in this area of the library, my parents never allowed me to and I never before had reason to. _

"_Why are we here, Papa?" I ask him. _

_My fathers sighs that dejected sigh again and looks at all the books around us. "Tell me, have any of your friends been talking about someone named Lord Voldemort?" _

_I nod, and tell him, "Yes, but it's mostly my older friends." _

"_Have they told you anything about him?" _

"_Only that he is trying to clean up the filth in our world and that their parents are joining him, to help. They're making it sound like he's trying to make our world a better place," I tell him. "And they tell us that as Purebloods we should be honored to one day fight beside him." _

_I speak quietly, unsure how my father will react. The words sound wrong coming from my twelve year old mouth, but they're the words I'd heard my friends at school speak over the course of the last two academic years. __I expect the tightening of his jaw, the way he clenches his eyes shut, and the steadying breath he takes. What I do not expect is the calm voice in which he speaks next. _

"_Yes, I expected as much," he says quietly, mostly to himself. He takes another quick breath before he speaks again, "I want you to read the books you find in this aisle, all of them, cover to cover." _

"_But why?" _

_My father then turns to me and kneels in front of me, though it takes a great deal of effort for him to do so. Now level with my height, he rests his hand against my neck like he has a thousand times. "I need you to listen to me and listen well, Ella. I am not trying to frighten you, but I have no doubt that you will live to see some very dark times, and you may not understand what I am saying to you now, but you will someday. And when the times comes, you will have to fight and when you do, I want you to be able to walk away. What you will find in these books is the reason that you will have to fight. Our family, noble though it may be and fraught with powerful witches and wizards, has not always been good." _

_His thumb came up and stroked my cheekbone as he continued, "There is much we can learn from our past. So read the books you find here, and when you've finished come to me." _

_My father leaves then and I'm alone in the family library. I still don't fully understand what he's asked of me, or what he expects of me, but I reach out for the book nearest me and sit on the ground, flipping back the cover and then the thin papyrus paper sighing as my eyes take in the small handwritten print. _

**-:- **

"She's going to be alright, isn't she?" Someone around me asked.

Whoever asked their question received no answer, but suddenly there were hands on my face and someone was prying back my right eyelid causing my left to open on reflex. I felt my eyes water at the sudden light being shone right into my retina.

"Miss Cochran, can you hear me?"

I tried to nod but only felt my head loll to the side. My head felt heavy, like I had been beat with a bludger a few dozen times. My throat was sore and I could feel it burning, it hurt to breathe both inside my lungs and just under my ribs.

"Miss Cochran if you can hear me, squeeze my hand." I recognized the voice of Madam Pomfrey. I felt her lift my hand in hers and after a moment, I managed to make my hand constrict around hers weakly. "She's responsive, that's good."

Her hand was gone from mine and I heard retreating footsteps. "Elaina?" this voice was male, and shook with fear.

"Stop calling my name," I ground out hoarsely. My voice sounded like it belonged to someone who had been a smoker for thirty years.

Madam Pomfrey's short, quick steps became audible again and I felt her presence beside my bed. "Miss Cochran I need you to drink this."

I felt her hands on my jaw and my mouth seemed to open of its own accord before some vile tasting liquid was sliding down my throat. While the heaviness dissipated from my head I briefly wondered why all the potions Matron made us drink were always so disgusting, it was almost as if they wanted us to regret coming to the Hospital Wing.

I blinked a few times, my vision focusing on the people surrounding my bed. James, Lily, Marlene, Remus, Mary, Peter, Alice… no Sirius.

"Oh… Merlin, why do I feel like I got punched in the stomach?" I groaned, putting my hand to said area.

Marlene raised her hand and said, "That would be my fault. Had to get the water out of your lungs somehow."

I nodded suddenly remembering what happened. Amos Diggory and his two friends had thrown me into the lake which usually would not be an issue, but seeing as I could not swim it was a huge issue. I was screaming when I went in, water instantly filling my lungs once my scream died, the cold water crumpling my organs like tin foil. I remember trying in vain to get to the surface, flailing my limbs in what I hoped was a motion of swimming, but it wasn't. Water was pressing against me from all sides, crushing, suffocating and I was sinking.

"Where's Sirius?" I wondered, shaking the memory away.

"Probably being scolded by McGonagall," Peter replied.

"He punched Danny once Marlene had you breathing again," Remus finished.

"You could have told us that you couldn't swim you know," Alice quipped.

I rolled my eyes. "My apologies, I wasn't expecting to be thrown into the lake!"

"We're just glad you're okay," Lily said, reaching out to take my hand.

"Even Mary here helped!" Marlene sang out, throwing her arm around Mary's shoulder - an accomplishment in and of itself.

Mary rolled her eyes and sighed irritably, "I may not like Elaina but that doesn't mean I want her dead."

"Aw! Look how mature you are!" Marlene cooed as though she were talking to a child. This caused Mary to huff, shouldering her way from Marlene's grip before she turned and left the Hospital Wing.

I shook my head at Marlene before passing my gaze among my friends. James was the only person who had yet to speak to me, he was looking at me like I had just come back from the dead, which in a sense I guess I had, but the worried and tense look on his face made me uneasy. His hands were buried deep in the pockets of his jeans and for once his attention wasn't fully held by the redheaded beauty at his side.

"James," I began hesitantly, "it's okay. I'm all right."

When I reached out and took his wrist, his eyes refocused on my face, and he swallowed heavily sinking to the edge of my bed. He took a deep breath and for a moment I thought he was going to tell me how happy he was that I was okay, but instead what came out of his mouth was: "You look like a drowned cat."

This small comment seemed to break the tension around us and everyone laughed. I rolled my eyes and smacked him in the leg making him smile as I understood that was the way James showed his relief at my wellbeing.

I heard the Hospital Wing doors creak open and watched as Sirius strode in with his head hung. All at once our friends left my bedside headed to the door, but Remus and James clapped Sirius on the shoulder as they passed. He looked up, noticing I was awake and all weariness dissolved from his face as he picked up his speed and came to stand beside my bed.

"I thought I told you not to scare me anymore?" he wondered, making an attempt at a wry joke, but it lacked any trace of humor and the only thing I could hear was strangled fear.

"Almost drowning wasn't exactly on my schedule for the day, Sirius," I replied. "And I tried to stay behind if you recall."

"And if you had told us the reason you probably could have!" he countered hotly.

"Can't you just be happy I'm alright?" I snapped.

Just as Sirius took a breath to say something else another voice cut across him. "My, aren't we just as charming as ever, brother."

The voice was almost identical to Sirius' with the exception that it was a few decibels higher, a tenor to Sirius' baritone. Sirius and I both turned to see his younger brother, Regulus, and Evan striding into the room. Sirius' jaw clenched hard as he narrowed his eyes at his brother. I glanced between the two Black brothers, it was true that a lot of people compared Regulus and Sirius, saying that they were nearly identical. While in some aspects this was true as both brothers possessed the same sharp aristocratic features that were inherent to the Black bloodline, the same mouth, and the shape of their eyes. In others it was not, Sirius' eyes were lighter than his brother's more silver, while Regulus' were slate grey that could harden into a glare to chill your soul. Regulus also had a more narrow build than his brother, no doubt a reflection of their different positions on the Quidditch Teams with Regulus being a Seeker and Sirius being a Keeper. But there was no denying that Regulus was just as heart-stoppingly handsome as his brother.

"What are you doing here, little brother?" Sirius sneered.

"Can't I come see how a friend is doing? Evan and I did bare witness to the unfortunate scene down by the lake," he replied smoothly.

Sirius snorted, and snapped, "I doubt Elaina wants anything to do with you."

"Why don't we let her decide that, eh Black?" Evan said.

Abruptly all three young men turned to look at me. With a sigh, I told Sirius, "Go. I'll be fine." They weren't going to do anything to me with Madam Pomfrey right in her office a few yards away from me.

If at all possible Sirius' jaw clenched harder as he spun on his heel and stormed from the room. Regulus turned slightly to watch him go and I saw him sigh lightly and shake his head. I always got the impression that Regulus didn't "hate" his brother as much as he often claimed to and he only denounced Sirius when provoked. Ironically, I had never heard the younger Black say anything nasty against his brother… _to _his brother, yes, but _about_ his brother, no.

"I can't say I'm truly surprised to see you," I directed at Regulus before turning to Evan, "but I must admit I'm intrigued as to what _you're_ doing here."

Regulus smirked as the two of them approached the side of my bed. "I was the one to told them you couldn't swim, after you got thrown in," Evan told me quietly, almost as if he was afraid someone would hear him.

I chuckled darkly. "So… what? You think that negates what you said to me on the platform, Evan?"

Evan took one of my hands in one of his while the other came up to cup my cheek. For a moment, I allowed myself to remember what I felt for him and leaned into his touch, relishing in the small smile that tugged the corners of his mouth. "Come back to us, Elaina. You don't even trust them enough to tell them you can't swim, you're not meant to be friends with them," he said. "If you come back now we might be able to fix your reputation, chalking this up to a momentary lapse in your sanity but that you've seen the error of your ways."

I snatched my head away from his hand, disgusted. So this was why he was really here, to try and persuade me to break my newly formed friendships with my housemates - people that other Purebloods would consider beneath me. Maybe some part of him did love me still, but that part loved who I once was, the perfect, beautiful, Pureblooded young woman who did everything she was told. Evan loved me as an accessory, something to be seen and not heard. A Pureblooded, trophy girlfriend.

I could feel myself getting angry, but I refused to look at Evan anymore instead focusing my attention on the floating candle just over Regulus' left shoulder, watching as the flame grew higher, melting the wax quicker the longer I stared at it. "What else haven't you told them Elaina?" Evan whispered harshly.

"Get out," I hissed dangerously.

I could hear my blood beginning to pulse in my ears and I was getting warm all over, no doubt my cheeks were reddening. I didn't have my wand, it was in Lily's beach bag, but I didn't need a wand to cause Evan serious damage. I felt the pulsation move through my veins, almost like getting a jolt of electricity, the hairs on my arms were rising to their ends as I tried to calm myself down, taking deep even breaths.

"I wonder if you've told them," Evan continued, "about the darkness in your veins, imbedded in your blood?"

I felt my magic jump between my fingers, hearing it crackle like a fire. Evan looked down, hearing it too as I clenched my hands into fists, trying to gain what control I could. All it would take was a snap of my fingers and Evan would be across the room, unconscious and filling the bed beside mine.

"Do you think they'd still accept you if they knew?"

I turned what I hoped was a bone chilling glare to Evan's direction. "You need to leave before I do something I won't regret," I told him flatly.

A nasty smirk pulled one corner of Evan's mouth as he leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of me so he could lean in close. His sky blue eyes that once held so much love and affection for me were now flat and void of anything I once saw there. Evan searched my eyes, his irises dancing back and forth.

"I can see it, you know, in your eyes. The darkness undulating just beneath the surface, burning to be released," he told me. "They'll never appreciate your true colors, they'll never trust you for it. You can't play the saint when you're meant to be the sinner."

With that, Evan pushed himself away from me and stalked off, leaving me with Regulus. The boy a year under me sighed and shook his head before he regarded me with a surprisingly gentle smile. "Remind me again why you dated him?"

As I looked into his grinning face, he looked more like Sirius than he did wearing the stony, placid expression he wore upon entering. I felt myself breathe easy. Evan always did know the perfect way to needle me and anger me the quickest.

"Because he was devilishly charming?" I offered.

At this, Regulus snorted, sitting himself on the edge of my bed. "So was I, but you turned me down."

I laughed. "You were a snot nosed, bratty fourth year with a false sense of entitlement when you asked me out."

He leveled me with the full power of his intense gaze. "And if I asked you now as a witty and charming, and might I add obscenely handsome, sixth year?"

Rolling my eyes, I tried not to laugh as I replied, "You wouldn't. I know you Regulus, you'd be too worried of what everyone else would think. You enjoy your position in the world, and everything that comes with it too much to risk it by slumming with the likes of me."

He shrugged noncommittally, "Perhaps." Then Regulus sighed and rested his hand on mine, telling me, "For what it's worth, _I'm_ glad you're okay."

"Thank you."

"I should go before Evan starts to worry that you've seduced me or something," Regulus said as he stood.

I felt myself quirk an eyebrow. "Would it really be that difficult for me to do so?"

A lewd grin crossed Regulus' features briefly reminding me of Sirius. "You know it wouldn't." Then he leaned forward and kissed my hairline, "Until we speak again."

I couldn't help but smile after him as he walked away. It was nice to know that there was at least someone who didn't think too differently of me. Regulus may be Evan's best friend and among the group I used to associate with, but he still thought for himself… to a point.

Regulus always gave me the feeling that he wasn't so different from me brought up to see the world in stark black and white, but while my parents _taught_ me to see the shades of grey, Regulus figured it out on his own through his friendships with the other Slytherins. He was not inherently cruel, I had never seen him hex anyone unless it was in self-defense or in defense of one of his friends (Severus particularly), and I don't ever remember hearing him say the word "mudblood". In fact, before Severus' fall out with Lily, I used to see the three of them studying together in the library and Regulus never looked at Lily like she was anything other than another human being.

But unfortunately, Regulus was also unhealthily naïve and it wouldn't take much convincing for him to join the Death Eaters… if he wasn't one already. He was the only Black son left after Sirius ran away carrying the weight of his family name, and if he could find what he thought to be "redemption" among the Death Eaters, I think he'd take it.

* * *

**OKAY BEFORE ANYONE ASKS ME THIS... **

**NO, ELAINA DOES NOT HAVE SOME SPECIAL ABILITY  
THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS! WHAT EVAN WAS REFERING TO  
WILL BE EXPLAINED! I KNOW WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE BUT I  
PROMISE IT'S NOT THE CASE. **

**Next... Regulus. I pretty much love him. I'm saddened we didn't  
learn more about him in the books. The interaction between Elaina  
and Regulus is how their friendship has always been. He'll appear  
from time to time, right now he is just a minor character, but later  
he will become a major character. **

**I hope everyone had a nice holiday, I know I did (plus my birthday!). **

**Nexxxttt... Reviews! I'd like to thank... **brucy, JaneSkye, Rock'xanne,  
AkiraTheDarkHuntress, Genguice, amrawo, love-cdc, ldorvador,  
Ruth Writes**, and **AuntMo** for reviewing the last chapter! :) **

**Review? **


	19. Release

**Ch. 18 - Release **

_In visions of the dark night_  
_I have dreamed of joy departed—_  
_But a waking dream of life and light_  
_Hath left me broken-hearted. _  
- A Dream, Edgar Allan Poe

"Holy shit, guys look at this."

All of us looked up from our plates, turning our attention to James as he turned around the paper he was reading and set it on the tale for all of us to see. There were various sounds of exclamation from my friends as they read the headline that caused James to get our attention but I just stared at the paper in shock:

**Department of Magical Law Enforcements Approves Aurors Use of Unforgivable Curses **

_My father would have never allowed this_, was the first thought to cross my mind as I picked up the paper. I read through the article, through the sections where they quoted Crouch and it occurred to me that his zealotry knew no bounds. The article claimed that Crouch had been pushing for this approval since he was instated, quoting him as saying that the dark forces they were fighting would not hesitate to use an Unforgivable Curse, putting the Aurors at a disadvantage. The article also made a comment comparing Crouch to my father, and their blaringly different administrative ways which made me chuckle because now it was clear that Crouch was trying to outdo my father.

If my father had thought that allowing the Aurors under his command to use Unforgivable Curses would do more good than harm, he would have pushed for the approval of their use himself. But he knew that they would ultimately have a backlash that was more trouble than it was worth. I wouldn't be surprised if after this, Aurors would be found switching sides because they had just a taste of what using Dark Magic was like and would want more. This wouldn't help, it would turn our Aurors, the ones meant to protect us into dark wizards, tainted by the very Ministry they vowed to serve.

"I don't understand why this is such a big deal," Lily said, looking at all of us.

"Are you kidding?" Peter asked her, bewildered.

She shrugged, informing us, "I've read a lot but Unforgivable Curses haven't been brought up and if they were, they weren't elaborated on."

"… Lily Evans doesn't know what something is? Fuck, I think the world is about to end!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically causing Lily's cheeks to flush.

I smacked Sirius in the arm. "Leave her alone, she didn't grow up in this world incase you've forgotten. And if you ever bothered to crack a textbook in your life, you'd know that none of our past Defense books ever talked about the Unforgivable Curses."

I wasn't wrong. Our past Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks never talked about the Unforgivable Curses in depth. They only touched on the topic briefly, saying that they were dark magic and as their name implies "unforgivable". They never said what they were or what they did, I also highly doubted there was any information in the library on them outside of the Restricted Section. I think it's the preferred way the school's Board of Governors wants the teachers to deal with the topic of Dark Magic - if we don't learn about it, we can't use it.

"Seriously?" James asked me.

I squeezed the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Remind me again how you two pass classes?" Both Sirius and James pointed to Remus. Sighing, I turned to Lily, "We can ask Professor Perkins in class about it if you like."

Lily only nodded, smiling kindly at me as the bell rang for our first class of the day.

-:-

"Good morning class," Derek called out once everyone had taken their seats.

"Good morning, Professor," the class replied only because we had learned that he would make us say it over and over again until he got a 'good morning' he was satisfied with.

He smiled at us and clapped his hands together once before he said, "Well as you recall, last lesson we were working on - uh… yes, Elaina?"

I set my hand back down as I asked my question, "Is it true the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is going to let the Aurors use Unforgivable Curses?"

He sighed and crossed his arms, looking exasperated. Derek should have known that if I had seen the article before class I would be the one asking if it was true. He had told us that he would not shelter us from what was going on outside of Hogwart's, so I knew he would tell me the truth.

After a moment, Derek nodded. "Yes, it's true. The new Head has been pushing for the approval of their use ever since he got the job. "

"Why was it approved?" I heard Remus ask from somewhere behind me. "It wasn't mentioned in the article."

"I'm not sure," Derek replied with a shrug.

I wasn't surprised Derek didn't know why it was approved. He had been my father's partner after all, and he had also probably been in the running for the new Head position along with Crouch. To have been my father's partner and, for all intents and purposes, his second in command Derek held quite a bit of sway with the other Aurors and several Ministry officials. Crouch most likely saw Derek as a threat to his newly acquired position and chose not to tell him his reasons for why he was pushing for the approval of the use of the Unforgivable Curses. Crouch was most likely using this Ministry approval to solidify his leadership position.

"Is that why you took the position to teach here," I wondered, "because Crouch was pushing for the approval?"

At my question I watched Derek take in a discreet deep breath before he released it. He didn't want to answer me, I could tell, or at least, he didn't want to tell the truth. Derek had loved his job, he was pretty much married to it ever since his wife died so he wouldn't have given it up simply because Dumbledore offered him the teaching position.

After a few moments of silence, he began nodding. "Yes, that is partially why. Allowing the Aurors to use the Unforgivable Curses perverts our purpose and the oath we took. They are Dark Magic inherently and allowing the main law enforcement apparatus to use them makes the protectors and defenders no better than those they are trying to fight and essentially makes them a threat to the public they vowed to protect."

Derek sighed again, "Alright, although this was not what I had in mind for today's lesson since it got brought up in one of my other classes as well, we might as well continue it… I know your texts do not elaborate on the Unforgivable Curses, so we'll talk about them to make everyone understand what _I'm_ talking about it. Is there anyone who doesn't know what they are?"

I knew Lily must've raised her hand and when I heard a Slytherin scoff, "Stupid Mudblood", I had my affirmative.

Derek looked sharply in the direction the slur originated. "Thank you for volunteering your time tonight Mr. Lestrange, I'll see you at seven o'clock and you've just lost twenty points from Slytherin."

Derek wand-lessly pushed his desk to the side and dragged a rolling chalkboard before the class. Spitting in his hand, he picked up a piece of chalk and wrote along the top _Unforgivable Curses _and underlined it.

"There are three Unforgivable Curses," he began, and wrote the numbers one through three along the side of the chalkboard. "Can anyone tell me why they are so labeled 'Unforgivable'?" He turned back around to face all of us, finally calling on someone in Gryffindor who had their hand raised, "Yes, Peter?"

"They're called the Unforgivable Curses because the use of any one of them is unforgivable," he replied. "If a witch or wizard is found guilty of using any one of them they're sentenced to life in Azkaban prison."

Derek nodded. "Very good, ten points to Gryffindor. Now, who can tell me what they are?" He looked over in the Slytherin half of the room, calling, "Evan?"

Evan looked up from where he was doodling on his parchment. "Uhm… one of them is The Killing Curse."

As he spoke, Derek wrote on the board listing The Killing Curse beside the number one he had written. "That is the worst of them. The Killing Curse does just as its name implies - kills. It is signified by a bright green flash of light, there is no known way to block or repel it and it kills not only the body of the victim, but strips the spirit from the body as well, locking it in the caster's wand… Next?"

"The Imperius Curse," Sirius said directly behind me.

Derek nodded, writing that on the board as well. "The Imperius Curse gives the caster complete control over another human being, body and mind, the caster can make the victim do anything he or she wishes and the victim is powerless to stop it. The only known way to break the spell is by sheer willpower and internal fortitude." He turned around and addressed the class once more. "There's one more… Elaina?"

I was perfectly fine with the lesson until that moment. My hands now clenched into fists so hard, I could feel my fingernails cutting into my palms. No one else seemed nearly as uncomfortable about "learning" about the Unforgivable Curses as I did. After all, less than six months ago I had borne witness to two of the three, even felt the effects of the very curse Derek was expecting me to name. I doubted anyone else in the room could say the same.

I took a deep, steadying breath and answered, "The... Cruciatus Curse is the third, uhm... it is commonly referred to as The Torture Curse."

"Good. Can you tell me what it does?"

I looked up at him in shock. Why now, did he ask the student to suppliment the effect? There must have been something in my eyes or in my expression that startled Derek then because his eyebrows slanted together and his head tilted ever so slightly to one side.

I gulped heavily. "Pain," I shot out in a breath. I felt my eyes flutter close and my brow furrow as I took another steadying breath. "It causes the most _unbearable_ pain from the roots of your hair to the very tips of your toes..." Suddenly, I wasn't in the classroom anymore, but writhing on my front lawn as I screamed myself hoarse. I gripped the sides of my chair to quell my shaking as I continued, "... and no matter how much you tell yourself that you won't scream, the sounds that come out of your mouth won't sound anywhere near human... and it doesn't matter if you're only subjected to it for thirty seconds or thirty minutes - it feels like years."

Remembering the pain that was inflicted on me from that curse, I could feel the goosebumps raising the hairs on my arms and at the back of my neck. My back was straight, my heart racing and my nerves were on edge as if I was expecting to be hit with the curse inside the classroom. The classroom had disappeared around me and the only thing I could hear was my father's screams as he was subjected to the curse in the front living room of my home, meshing in tandem with my own from that night.

There was awed silence all around me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Marlene had her hand pressed to her mouth but she wouldn't look at me. I looked up at Derek who regarded me with a saddened expression, but I could see the anger tightening his eyes because I had left that part out when I told him what happened the night my parents were killed.

Derek swallowed audibly before clearing his throat and saying, "Well, as you can see the Unforgivable Curses would do more harm than good… Your homework for tonight will be to work on your wand-less Summoning Spells, we'll be working on those next lesson… class dismissed."

I couldn't breathe, I needed out of the classroom, away from everyone and their prying eyes, their gossiping whispers. The space suddenly seemed far to small, and the walls were closing in. I didn't even bother to pack up my bag, just picked everything up off my desk, tucked my quill behind my ear and all but ran from the Defense classroom.

I found myself in the nearest girl's lavatory, locking myself in a stall and immediately turning to empty anything and everything that had been in my stomach. _What the fuck were you thinking, Elaina, _I demanded of myself, _running your mouth like that! _I slowly sank to the tiled floor, resting my hot cheek against the cool porcelain and burying a hand in my hair; I was so embarrassed.

I had half expected someone would come looking for me before class, but to my relief no one did. When the late bell rang for the next class, I slipped out of the bathroom and headed back to the Common Room. Younger students who were on their break littered the room, but paid me no mind as I trudged up the dormitory and climbed into bed with no intention of leaving it for the rest of the day.

Right around the time my stomach began to ache from hunger, the door to the dorm opened and I recognized Lily's slim figure through my hangings. In her hands she was carrying a steaming plate of food and placed that on the nightstand between our beds. I could hear the shifting of fabric as Lily slid off her robe and tie, the thud of her shoes as she kicked them off. Then I heard her move the hangings around my bed aside and lift the covers I had placed over me. Lily slid her skinny body underneath the covers behind me until she threw an arm over my side, searching for my hand and tucked herself against me.

Then I felt her forehead pressed against the base of my neck. "I'm so sorry Elaina," she said, squeezing my hand. "I brought you dinner in case you're hungry."

"Thank you, Lily," I replied.

"James and Sirius are worried about you," Lily told me. "You're lucky they can't come up here, otherwise they'd be storming the dormitory."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "I'm sure."

Lily took a deep breath, and asked haltingly, "Have… have you talked to anyone about what happened?"

I shifted, making Lily release her hold on me so I could turn over to look at her. She looked so distressed and upset that I felt guilty because she was upset over me. I shook my head. "No, I haven't, besides telling the Aurors what happened and then recounting it for the Wizengamot I haven't talked to anyone," I admitted.

"You should," she replied. "It'll help."

I inhaled deeply, making a split second decision that would end up solidifying my friendship with Lily from that day forward. "Okay, I'll talk to you.

-:-

While the three other houses held their Quidditch Trials in the early afternoon, James had decided that Gryffindor's needed to be held at 8:30 in the morning. The reason for this, according to James, was that the early time would help weed out the people who were lazy. While I admit there may be some credence to that line of thinking, I was not very happy when I woke up on Saturday to get ready for Quidditch Trials. I barely slept during the week, Saturday and Sunday were my only days to try and sleep in, and now James was ruining it.

I ignored the noises of the other Gryffindor Team hopefuls as I turned to a mirror and pulled my hair into a bun at the back of my head that would have made McGonagall proud. I watched the reflection of some of the other girls as they got into their gear and almost laughed. It was clear who was there because they wanted to play Quidditch and who was there to try and get guys' attention. Some of the girls were actually putting on make-up and leaving their hair down, which was ridiculous - their mascara would be dripping down their cheeks and their hair would be a windswept, knotted mess by the end.

I walked out onto the pitch with my broom in hand (a Star Streaker 270), taking in the refreshing scent of fresh cut grass. The soft terrain under my feet was such a relief from the hard, unforgiving stone of the Hogwart's corridors. I looked around, a good distance from me was James and Sirius probably talking about how try-outs were going to work since James was gesticulating to different areas of the pitch. A burly, dark skinned young man, a sixth year by the name of Mike who played Beater was talking to a small group of boys - all of whom I assumed were interested in being a Beater. I slowly turned in a circle, there were only four players from last year who were still at school so where was the last one?

"Well fuck me sideways! I was wondering when I'd see your face down here!" someone shouted and suddenly I was engulfed in a tight, boney embrace. "I'd know that no nonsense hair-do anywhere!"

_Well that answers my question_, I thought as I hugged the girl who was at least six inches shorter than me. She was probably the skinniest thing I've ever laid eyes on and couldn't have weighed more than 110 pounds, if that. To look at her sharp, drastic features and dancing eyes you would think that she was a faerie but she was all human, standing at a terrifying five feet even, however what she lacked in height she made up for with a sailor's mouth and big personality. Not to mention she was the only girl to get away with wearing combat boots with her school robes. McGonagall got on her for awhile about wearing them, but after what accumulated to about two month's worth of detentions she gave up.

I stepped back as she released me and looked down at Vesper as she smiled up at me, her short, pixie cut blonde hair sticking up in every direction. Vesper was the Gryffindor Seeker, and has been ever since her third year - she was a fifth year now and the only reason she knew who I was, was because the two of us played on the same team during summer leagues.

"James, how the hell did you convince her to finally try out?" she shouted over her shoulder.

"You two know one another?" James asked us as he walked over. Unless James stood a little away from her, Vesper had to tilt her head back to look at him because he was almost a foot taller than her.

"Elaina and I were on the same team in summer leagues. She's one of the best fucking Chasers I've ever seen, if you don't let her on the team, so help me god, I will castrate you!"

"Merlin, Ves, we haven't even had a single practice yet and you're already threatening James with castration?" Sirius said.

Vesper laughed, "How the fuck else is he going to take me seriously?" Suddenly the expression on Vesper's face changed into a grimace. "Good Lord! Please tell me who let the hussy parade on my pitch?"

I turned to the direction Vesper had been facing and wasn't surprised to see the girls who had been in the locker room with me flouncing onto the field. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at their dramatic entrance. The other boys, with the exception of James, didn't seem to find anything wrong with their display. There were a few wolf whistles from the group of boys Mike was talking with and Sirius himself was eyeing a particularly leggy brunette.

"Come on now Ves, we gotta give everyone a fair chance," Sirius said.

Vesper made a gagging noise and pantomimed vomiting. She spun abruptly on her heel and muttered to herself, "Every fucking year, never fails."

Within the next few minutes the other people trying out showed up. In total, there was about twenty five of us, a good turn out. James explained that for the actual team, he would only need three more players - two Chasers and another Beater; however, he was also looking to fill the entire Reserve Team because it never failed that someone on one of the other team would play dirty and a Gryffindor ended up missing a game or two. It would also probably be a good thing to mention that James and Sirius ended up in detention so often they ended up missing at least one game a piece every year.

James had us all split up according to the position we were interested in. There were about fifteen of us interested in being Chasers. James had us go up one on one against Sirius first, seeing how many goals we could make out of ten. I ended up getting eight out of ten because it had only taken me two shots in to figure out how to get past Sirius' defenses. After that, James split us unto groups of three at random making us perform different plays and maneuvers alternating us being First, Second and Third Chaser. I always performed better being Second Chaser because it lifted most of the responsibility off my shoulders and I could focus more on the game.

I had to admit, being on my broom again was like a dream, the freedom, the wind on my cheeks. It had been over a year since I was on my broom on a Quidditch Pitch, and it almost made me want to have my hair down so I could enjoy it fully. On my broom, zooming through the air was where I felt connected with my mother. She had retired from Quidditch just before I started Hogwart's but she always found time in her day to fly for at least an hour. I understood why, it allowed us for a short time to shake off the confines of our structured life and be something other.

It was all too soon for me that James was calling everyone back. Everyone sat down in the grass laying their brooms beside them, stretching out their legs as James conferred with Sirius, Vesper and Mike. After about five minutes, the four of them turned around and James approached, looking over his clipboard and the notes he had taken.

"I just want to take a second to thank all of you for coming out and I can honestly say that I was pleasantly surprised with many of your talents," he said. He cleared his throat and swallowed compulsively leading me to believe that James was not going to get any pleasure out of telling us who did not make the team. "Unfortunately, we only have three open positions on the team, but there is still the Reserve Team and if any of you have been paying attention to Gryffindor Quidditch, you know we'll need it."

A round of chuckles broke out before James continued, "That said, our new Second Beater is… Drew Ketner."

A stocky boy with sandy blonde hair and freckles shot up with a 'whoop!' a couple people to my left. He was grinning like it was Christmas day as he walked over to Mike and high-fived him. James regarded his clipboard again, "Our new Second and Third Chasers are… Elaina Cochran and Jeremy O'Connell."

I'm pretty sure Vesper was more excited about my admittance onto the team than I was from the way she shouted and began dancing in place.

* * *

**Alright, chapter 18 and lots has happened!**

**I know as you were reading (at least if you've been with me from  
the start) and got to the part where Elaina  
mentions she was subjected to the Cruciatus Curse you thought to  
yourself "Huh? I don't remember that!" Well, that's because it didn't happen  
originally. When I realized how I wanted this chapter to go, I went back  
and edited the second chapter where Elaina recounts what happened the  
night her parents were killed. So there's a good three or four new  
paragraphs in "Survivor" so if you want go re-read it.**

**And, according to the Lexicon, Crouch did pass an authorization  
allowing the Aurors to use the Unforgivable Curses. **

**I also have to say that I love Vesper. I can picture her perfectly  
in my head which made writing her all the more fun**

**There is one more thing I need to address which is going to make this  
Author's Note kind of long, but since the person who left me this review  
did it anonymously, I can't personally reply... And I just feel like ranting.  
****I'm not really taking it seriously considering the amount of errors  
in the review itself and most of it is commenting on Elaina's character  
(which obviously they didn't dislike her THAT much because they read  
all the chapters I have posted). ANYWAY... The reviewer said I gave Elaina  
a lot of Mary-Sue qualities, like the fact that she is beautiful and skilled in  
DADA and has a "dark secret" (concidentally, those were the  
ONLY three faults mentioned)... They also mentioned that the plot is obvious... **

**1) Yes, I made her pretty. And yes, Sirius finds her attractive, there**  
**has to be attraction somewhere for the relationship to start. Also, I don't**  
**make Elaina's beauty a main facet of the story. I mention it where I think**  
**it fits - like Sirius' musings two chapters ago and describing her in the prologue. **  
**2) Yes, I made her advanced in DADA; however, where a lot of authors**  
**would NOT supply a reason for her being advanced, I did. That being - **  
**her father wanted to be able to protect herself should she ever have to. **  
**3) The plot is obvious? Really? I'd like to see one person hazard a guess at**  
**where I'm taking this story and how I'm going to use Elaina. I can almost **  
**guarantee you will be wrong. **  
**4) Elaina's "dark secret"... It's not what you think! And I'm not going**  
**to spoil it by explaining it here. **

**But I'm curious to see what anyone else has to say about the review I got...  
or anything else. I'm not taking the review down, so if you're curious  
go look at it. **

**Okay... next, review that didn't make me rant! Thank you **Genguice,  
Griffinesque, musigal, charlienessa, amrawo, JaneSkye, chemistrygoddess,  
Ruth Writes, Lady Gwyn of Loxsley, SeriouslyJustNo, brucy, love-cdc, AuntMo  
**and **Courtni Desiree**! THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!**

**Review? **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/2/2013**


	20. Helping Andromeda

_**Warning: This chapter deals with the sensitive topic of teenage pregnancy.  
If you are in anyway uncomfortable with this, please don't feel the  
need to continue reading. **_

**Ch. 19 - Helping Andromeda **

_I'm all alone in this world, she said,  
__Ain't got nobody to share my bed,  
__Ain't got nobody to hold my hand—  
_- 50/50, Langston Hughes

Time began to pass quickly. I fell into a routine - wake up, eat breakfast, go to class, go to Quidditch, do homework, go to Private lessons with Pomfrey on Tuesdays and Thursdays, go to sleep. Repeat indefinitely. Boring and tedious? Perhaps, but I relished in the structured stability of it all. It was comforting to me to know that nothing would interfere with my routine unless it was serious, and that thought helped me deal with small delineations from my routine like times when I would have run ins with my old friends.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter disappeared again last week just like they had the month before and come back all beat up, and Remus had appeared the following day with healing bruises, just like last time. I had wanted to ask Lily what was going on so badly, but didn't remembering my promise to Remus that I would not actively pursue his secret… but that didn't mean I wasn't bothered by it. Marlene had told me that the four of them have been disappearing since fifth year, but it didn't make much sense.

Before I knew it, it was the middle of October with Sirius' birthday about two weeks away. I had expected that there would be plans for yet another party, but Sirius said he didn't want one and that if James went behind his back and planned one anyway he would see to it that he was completely incapable of sexually satisfying Lily… ever. When asked why Sirius didn't want a party, he would only shrug and say that he was getting too old for birthday parties. We all knew he wasn't going to tell us the real reason if he was pushed so we let it drop.

But now, it was the second Thursday in October and I was sitting in the Hospital Wing trying to ignore the way the ends of my hair were soaking through my shirt. I'd had Quidditch before this and had taken what was possibly the fastest shower of my life to make it to the Infirmary in time. There really hadn't been much to do around the ward today, the only occupants were two younger students - a first year with a nasty cold and a third year who's cauldron exploded in Potions. Both students were stable and sleeping soundly.

I checked the first year's temperature and jotted it down before turning the page and checking on the third year's bandages. The two other aspiring Healers (a boy from Ravenclaw named Will, and a girl from Hufflepuff named Lynne) had already left for the night, but I had wanted to do one more check on the two students before heading back to the Common Room.

I closed the binder holding the students' charts and headed to Madam Pomfrey's office. "Madam Pomfrey, I'm going to head out now, I think they'll be okay for the…" I trailed off and couldn't help but grin when I saw that Madam Pomfrey had fallen asleep with her head on her desk. I conjured a blanket and laid it around her shoulders, leaving her a note about the two kids' status and turned off her office light as I left.

I was looking down at my nails, chipped and jagged from Quidditch and making a mental note to ask Marlene or Lily if they had a nail file when I heard the Hospital Wing doors open. Groaning at the thought of getting to my nice warm bed any later, I looked up and started seeing Andromeda walk sullenly into the room. Her head was down, her shoulders slumped and her hair, which was usually some bizarre shade, was pitch black.

"Andromeda?"

She looked up, startled, and I noticed that her eyes were red and puffy and the current color of her hair made her look sickeningly pale. Recognition flashed in her eyes before she looked like she was staring at a ghost. She swallowed thickly and slowly asked, "Is Madam Pomfrey here…?"

I nodded and replied, "But she's asleep in her office, do you need help with something? I'm not exactly Madam Pomfrey, but I can do my best."

Tears welled up in Andromeda's eyes and one made its way over her cheek before she wiped it away stubbornly. I took two steps forward, catching her by her arms as one hand came to cover her mouth and she hugged herself around the middle with the other. She was shaking her head, muttering incoherently. I felt my heart race out of fear as she clung to me. What could possibly be making her act like this?

"Shh, Andromeda, what is it?" I whispered, bringing up one hand to stroke her hair. "Come on, let's sit you down."

I led Andromeda over to an open cot and set her down, she folded her legs under herself and buried her face in her hands before sobbing some more. I drew a curtain around her cot and silenced it for fear of waking up the two younger students. Now the question was - to wake Madam Pomfrey or not? I turned back to face Andromeda's cot, watching her silhouette shudder and lurch with her sobs. She didn't need a Healer as much as she needed a friend right now so I decided against waking Madam Pomfrey for the time being, if it turned out to be something I couldn't handle by myself then I would wake her. I made my way to the Remedy Cabinet, saying the charm that opened the doors, pulled down a Calming Draught and a measuring spoon before I headed back over to Andromeda.

She had stopped sobbing by now, sitting silently with tears still streaming down her face, staring blankly ahead. I climbed on the bed, setting myself across from her and pulled the curtain shut again. Measuring out an even tablespoon of the Calming Draught, I held it out to Andromeda, who took it without question and swallowed it. Almost immediately the tension left her shoulders and she sat a little straighter.

"A little better?" She nodded, but still looked on the verge of another breakdown. I took a deep breath, asking, "'Dromeda, what is it?"

Andromeda swallowed and took a deep breath. "Promise you won't judge me?" she asked, and she looked at me like the entire world hinged on my answer.

I shook my head in reply. "Never, just tell me and I might be able to help you."

She looked down at her hands, wringing them nervously and I could see through the fabric of her pajama pants that she was clenching and unclenching her calf muscles. Looking up at me from under her lashes, she quietly told me, "I think I'm pregnant."

Of all the things I was expecting her to tell me, that certainly was _NOT_ it. I felt myself take in a breath to reply, but nothing came out, I just held that breath in my lungs with my mouth hung open in shock. My brain was refusing to process the words that she had just spoken.

"Wha… huh -why… pregn…_what_?" I stuttered in shock.

Suddenly, Andromeda threw herself across the small space dividing us and wrapped her arms around me burying her face in my neck. "Oh, please don't tell anyone! If anybody found out… can you imagine? I'd be shut up like an animal!" She howled.

I loosely hugged her back, still trying to comprehend what she'd confessed. "No, I'm not going to tell anyone, of course I'm not! But, are you sure?"

She sat back and hiccupped, wiping her eyes again. "I'm pretty sure. I haven't had my period in a couple months…"

I racked my brain at who could possibly be the father if Andromeda thought she was pregnant, but could not for the life of me think of any boy she was around regularly I'd seen her taking an interest in. Not to mention, I would've heard something from Sirius, with Andromeda being his favorite cousin he would likely try to scare off any boy who even so much as looked at her.

"Who's the father?" She looked down again and mumbled somebody's name that I couldn't hear. "Huh?"

Andromeda cleared her throat and barely above a whisper said, "Ted Tonks."

I closed my eyes trying to put a face to that name, he was obviously not a Pureblood since I didn't know who he was. Assuming he was in Andromeda's house and year that narrowed it down to about five or six boys. I envisioned the Ravenclaw table, mentally scanning the faces until I stopped on one of a tall, scrawny boy with jaw length, dirt brown hair and a matching set of eyes and also came to the conclusion that he was -

"A Muggleborn?" She nodded solemnly and I now understood why I never saw them together. "Oh Andromeda, you're mother is going to kill you."

"I'm not worried about me," she whispered. "If my father found out…" She didn't need to finish her sentence for me to know things would not end well for Ted Tonks if Cygnus Black found out Ted had knocked up his sixteen year old daughter.

"What am I going to do, Elaina?" Andromeda wondered, her voice tortured.

I sighed, "First it might be a good idea to actually confirm a pregnancy before we start freaking out. I'll brew the concoction tonight, and we can test in the morning during breakfast. Didn't you think to use protection for Merlin's sake? And why didn't you come in sooner?"

"We did! The muggle kind at least, but it broke and I think I took the Contraceptive Brew too late," she explained. "And I thought my missing period was just a result of being back at school and stress and whatnot!"

Nodding I told her, "I want you to go back to your dorm and try to get some sleep, okay? I'll give you a small dosage of Sleeping Potion to help."

I drew the curtains aside and stood from the bed trying to ignore the way my body was starting to ache from practice a few hours ago. Andromeda followed and I was relieved to see that the color of her hair had lightened at least a little bit which meant that her mood wasn't so doom and gloom.

"How can I thank you for this, Elaina?" Andromeda said.

I attempted a half-hearted smile, telling her, "No need. But let me ask you something, does Ted know?"

She shook her head fiercely. "Merlin no!"

I sighed, "Alright, in exchange for me helping you Andromeda, you're going to tell Ted so he can be there when you take the test."

Andromeda nodded solemnly before she hugged me tightly and sniffled a few times, trying not to cry again. Truthfully, it's not like I actually wanted to be doing this, but Andromeda had to have been so scared and felt so alone knowing that she couldn't even turn to her own sisters. She needed to know that there was someone on her side.

After a few more minutes I sent Andromeda on her way, making sure to replace the bottle of Calming Draught, and I hadn't given her enough Sleeping Potion to make a noticeable difference. With a sigh, I picked up a bottle of Wake Up Elixir which was used to keep a patient awake in cases dealing with concussions knowing I was in for a long night. With my potion in my hand, my bag on my shoulder and a book from Madam Pomfrey's shelf titled _101 Common Household Potions, Draughts and Solutions Every Witch Should Know_ tucked under my arm, I headed to one of the empty classrooms on the fourth floor to brew my concoction.

Hours later, I blinked slowly, squeezing the bridge of my nose as I absently gave the Fat Lady the password and strolled into the Common Room in the early hours of the morning. It hurt to blink, every time I closed my eyes I was met with a burn that ached through both of my lids - the universal sign that your body needed rest. There was also a hollow pain beneath my ribs, an aching for food as if my body was telling me "if you plan on staying awake you need to feed me".

But I wasn't planning on staying awake. I ambled over to one of the couches and slouched down into the cushions and at that moment nothing was more comfortable to me. Kicking my feet up, I sprawled out, promising myself to only lay there for a few minutes before I headed upstairs…

**-:- **

"You're absolutely sure she never came back?"

"Of course I am! She's not there now and her bed doesn't even look like it's been touched."

"Maybe she came back late and left early?"

"Why? She's not mad at any of us, so there's no reason for avoidance."

I was slowly coming into consciousness from the noise around me vaguely wondering what time it was. From the sunlight streaming in through the windows I guessed that it was definitely morning, and that I had laid on the couch for a lot longer than a couple minutes. I sat up with a yawn, stretching out my back and shoulders.

"There you are!" came a voice followed by a body vaulting over the back of the chair and landing next to me.

"Good morning James," I said as another person plopped down next to me.

"We were just trying to figure out where you've been," commented Remus. Out of the corner of my eye I watched James lean over and sniff at my hair and shoulder before making a face. Remus looked around me, asking James, "Did you just sniff her?"

"Can't help it, can you honestly not smell it?" James replied. "Elaina you smell like canned milk, baby powder and… smoke?"

"Sounds like she's been cooking babies," came Marlene's matter-of-fact voice followed by her sitting across the way.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, that's exactly what I've been doing Marley." I turned to Remus, asking, "What time is it?"

"Twenty minutes before breakfast, Sirius and Peter already headed down to see if you were there," he told me. I nodded, leaning my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. "Hey, you okay?" Remus asked, nudging me with his shoulder.

I managed to nod, and reply, "I'm exhausted though, had a long night."

"What were you even doing?" James wondered.

I took my head off Remus' shoulder and stood, picking up my bag from the floor. "Something that quite frankly is none of your business," I told him.

James' expression immediately shifted from open and curious to closed off and suspicious. I hadn't meant to be snappish, but as soon as Remus told me what time it was I realized I only had a short amount of time to catch Andromeda, have her take the test and get to class. Besides, they didn't need to know I was up all night brewing a Pregnancy Test, I could only imagine the can of worms that would open. Merlin forbid they thought it was for me!

So I left them there and headed up to the dorm to at least change into a clean set of robes. Luckily for me, Lily must've already headed down to breakfast as well because I didn't pass anybody on the stairs or come upon anybody still in the dorm. After changing and spraying myself with a little perfume to get rid of the smell James described earlier, I threw my hair into a ponytail and headed down to the Great Hall.

"There you are Elaina! Where'd they find you?" Sirius wondered when I approached the table.

"I fell asleep in the Common Room," I told him, still standing at the bench.

"… Aren't you going to sit down?" Lily asked me slowly.

I shook my head and reached out, taking a bagel, an apple, and a glass of orange juice. "Afraid I can't, I've got something to take care of before classes," I announced, downing the juice.

James looked up from his plate and met my eyes. "Something that's none of our business?"

With a sigh, I rolled my eyes. "Unfortunately, yes," I told him. Then I turned to Mary, informing her, "I might not be back in time for the bell, go ahead and head up without me."

Mary shrugged indifferently and returned to her breakfast. Taking a bite out of my bagel, I spun on my heel and headed back out the Great Hall, turning my attention toward the Ravenclaw table. Andromeda had her entire attention focused on me as I walked. Meeting her eyes, I jerked my head toward the doors - an indication to follow me.

I didn't wait to see if she actually got up from the table, but kept walking, and when I heard rushed footsteps behind me I knew she and Ted had followed me. I didn't say anything to either of them as I walked through the corridors, my destination being the bathrooms on the first floor.

I walked in first, making sure that there was inside before I stepped back out, announcing that, "The coast is clear."

"This is really awkward, uhm… Elaina, this is my boyfriend Ted," Andromeda said, gesturing between myself and the taller boy. "I don't think you two have ever met."

I raised my eyebrow, turning to the boy who was blushing furiously and shuffling his feet. I couldn't help but smirk as I looked at him. "Muggle protection, really?"

At my comment he blushed an even deeper shade of red and Andromeda's hair turned cherry red to match the shade her cheeks had turned. Ted cleared his throat, explaining, "My dad made me bring them…"

I nodded once. "I see. Well, stay out here and make sure no one comes in, alright?" I turned to Andromeda and motioned toward the door, "After you, Mummy."

She glared at me. "That's not funny," she hissed.

I followed her into the bathroom and went to the sink, setting my bag on the counter, rummaging through it until I pulled out a corked bottle filled with a creamy white liquid. I could hear Andromeda pacing anxiously behind me. Turning around, I brandished the bottle in front of me, holding it out to Andromeda.

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked nervously.

"Well, you're going to have to pee in it," I told her. She made a disgusted face and I explained, "The solution will pick up the new hormones in your body if you are pregnant."

Hesitantly, Andromeda took the small bottle from my hand and walked into a stall. I raised myself into the counter and turned on a faucet in the sink just incase she was nervous and needed help. A few minutes later, Andromeda came out of the stall, holding the bottle in one hand and zipping up the side of her skirt with the other.

"Now what?" she wondered setting the bottle on the counter.

"We wait a couple minutes," I replied and she returned to her anxious pacing. "Just tell me something, Andromeda, is he worth it?"

She stopped and looked at me warily. Then, ever so slowly, a smile spread across her features and her eyes lightened to their usual blue as she nodded. "He's wonderful, Elaina. When I'm with him I can forget that my parents would never approve. The world seems so much brighter."

"What are you going to do if you are pregnant?" I wondered.

She shrugged, her eyes darkening again. "I don't know. Ted and I discussed it last night when you sent me back to the tower. We thought about running away together, leaving the school, but where would we go? And neither of us are of age yet so how would we get by? And surely my family would come looking for me and when they found me, they'd kill Ted just for being who he is and then drop the baby at some orphanage probably or worse, kill it too."

I nodded, turning to look at the bottle, seeing the color beginning to swirl among the white. Picking up the bottle, I shook it a few times, darkening the swirling colors until none of the white remained among the bubble gum pink it had now assumed.

"What's that mean?" Andromeda demanded. Pink meant pregnant and I told her so. "I want to take another one."

I sighed and dug around in my bag until I pulled out another bottle holding the same white liquid. "I thought you might."

**-:- **

For the rest of the day all I could think about was Andromeda. Andromeda pregnant, having a child when she was still a child herself. I had tried to tell Andromeda that if she was truly worried about how her family would react and for Ted's safety, then her logical course of action would be to tell Madam Pomfrey and to not keep the baby, but she wouldn't hear of it - both telling _anyone_ and getting rid of the child growing in her stomach.

So now what? She couldn't stay at Hogwart's because she would start to show in at least two months time, and Cloaking Charms only did so much and people weren't stupid. Ted said that he'd write to his parents, tell them what was going on and that maybe they'd help. Part of me had wanted to be mad at Ted for getting Andromeda pregnant, but I warmed up to him at least a little when I realized that he wasn't going to turn his back on her and make her deal with it on her own.

I met the two of them in the library during dinner because since I had given Andromeda the test, I wanted to see this through to the end.

We stayed there for awhile discussing their options until Ted blurted out, "Let's get married!"

Both mine and Andromeda's mouth dropped open and Ted immediately colored. "What?" Andromeda said in shock.

"Let's get married," he repeated quietly.

And suddenly it was as if I wasn't sitting at the table with them, but had disappeared altogether. Andromeda sighed and shook her head, "Ted, as much as I want that, I don't want you to marry me because I'm pregnant, I want you to be with me because you want to be."

Ted shook his head and cupped her cheek. "You silly girl, who else would I want to be with? Who else could compare to you?"

A few tears leaked out of Andromeda's eyes before Ted pulled her forward and kissed her passionately. I cleared my throat catching their attention once again as they detached themselves from one another. As Andromeda turned back towards the table, it looked like she was floating on air from the blissful expression on her face and her hair suddenly donned a sunshine yellow.

"Well, at least that's settled, but we have other things to worry about," I said, folding my hands in front of me.

So the conversation went on. We agreed that it was not a good idea for Ted and Andromeda to remain at the school for very much longer, but they couldn't exactly Apparate from Hogsmeade since neither of them could yet. Finally, it occurred to me - they would have to take the Hogwart's Express during the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, back to King's Cross Station and go from there. I told Ted that it was probably a better idea to not receive any help from his muggle parents should Andromeda's family come looking for them.

"But where are we going to stay?" Andromeda wondered. I felt myself begin to smile. "What are you smiling about?"

"I know somewhere you can stay," I told her. "My grandfather's cottage retreat -"

"Oh no, Elaina, we couldn't!" Ted exclaimed.

"Oh shush!" I snapped. "It's just sitting there completely empty anyway, I have no use for it really - I own more property than I know what to do with since my parents died and to be honest I'd love nothing more than for you two to live there."

Andromeda grew quiet and cast her eyes downward. "My sisters will realized you helped me Elaina… and my parents will come here, demand to know where we are."

"I am more than capable of handling your sisters. Narcissa is fifteen, hardly a threat, and Bellatrix does not scare me -"

"She should…"

" - but she doesn't! As for your parents, they can demand anything they want from me, they're not going to get it," I assured her.

This seemed to placate her because she looked up and smiled at me. "Why couldn't I have been your sister instead?"

Unfortunately, as I headed back to Gryffindor Tower, I realized that I would need someone else's help. The tickets for the Hogwart's Express had to be bought in advance and I knew of no way out of the castle besides the front doors. But I did know of a couple people who might.

I made sure to knock before I just waltzed right into the seventh year boys' dorm. I looked over the door curiously, noticing that there were the initials of past seventh year boys carved into the wood and found myself looking for James, Remus, Peter and Sirius' initials. Hearing a muffled 'come in', I opened the door and stood in the doorway for a moment as I looked around - it wasn't as much of a disaster as I was expecting.

Only James and Sirius were in the dorm room, sitting on one of the beds, which I assumed to be Sirius'. They were going over Quidditch plays from what I could tell.

"Well, well, look who decides to acknowledge us!" James deadpanned.

I rolled my eyes. "Where's Peter and Remus?"

"Library." Sirius replied gruffly.

Nodding, I sighed, taking a few steps forward to sit on the edge of one of the beds. "Look, I'm sorry about today and I love you both, really I do, but I need you to accept that there are some things I cannot tell you right away, just like I know there are things that you two aren't telling me."

They were quiet for a minute before Sirius turned to look at me grinning. "You love me?" he asked saucily.

I rolled my eyes dramatically, shoving him playfully. "Not in the way you're hoping Sirius. And is that the only thing you got out of what I said?"

James chuckled at the way Sirius pouted before he looked at me. "You've won me with your flattery, what do you need?" he asked.

"… I need your help."

* * *

**Good morning everyone! This chapter was supposed to be  
posted last night but my computer was being mean deciding to  
turn my wireless assistant on and off again, so I just thought  
I'd plug into my router box and post this before I headed off to work. **

**Fun fact about this chapter - it was originally not supposed to exist.  
However, I realized that in moving around the Black girls' ages  
I opened up the door for Tonks to NOT EXIST because in real  
canon she would be about three years old right now. And since we  
can't have Tonks NOT exist, thus Andromeda is going to be a teenage mother. **

**I also just want to thank everyone who cheered me up about that rather  
confusing review I got, it definitely spurned me on to keep going the way  
I have been. **

**Also, I don't have time to reply to everyone's lovely comments since I  
only have about ten minutes before I have to leave for work, so let me  
just thank... **Genguice, SeriouslyJustNo, JaneSkye, AuntMo, Chloe Black,  
chemistrygoddess, Call Me Crooked, amrawo, and Saya. Hikari. Uchiha **  
for leaving me the most wonderful comments! Thank you guys so much,  
you are the reason I keep writing this! :) **

**Here's hoping work goes by quickly! TTFN! **

**Review?**

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/1/2013**


	21. Curiosity Killed the Cat

**Ch. 20 - Curiosity Killed the Cat **

_Tenderness and rot  
__share a border.  
__And rot is an  
__aggressive neighbor  
__whose iridescence  
__keeps creeping over.  
__- _Tenderness and Rot, Kay Ryan

I was missing the first Quidditch match of the season something that I have never, in my six years at Hogwart's, done. I may not have joined the house team until this year, but Quidditch was an essential part of my life, I lived for summer leagues and when it came time for Hogwart's Quidditch to commence I was one of the most enthusiastic audience members. I used to attend the Slytherin practices because Evan played as a Chaser on the team and Rudolphus was the captain, and as bizarre as it seemed, Rudolphus valued my opinions of the team and their performance. So in a way, I was an honorary member of the Slytherin team.

Of course more than once they tried to convince me to steal the Gryffindor playbook, or at least copy all of the plays down. My blood may have made me a perfect candidate for Slytherin, but I was a Gryffindor through and through and loyal to my house, only this year had I become loyal to the _people_ in my house.

Fortunately, the first Quidditch match of the season (Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin) allowed me the perfect opportunity and ample time to sneak into Hogsmeade to buy Andromeda and Ted's Hogwart's Express tickets and get back to the castle. Since I couldn't lie and tell everyone that I was sick, suffering from menstrual issues or otherwise incapacitated I simply woke up before everyone else and disappeared, holing myself up in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Luckily enough for me the sulking spirit was haunting some other part of the castle for the duration of my stay.

"_Dissendio_," I muttered, tapping the back of the one-eyed witch's hump with my wand.

There was a horrible grating and grinding sound of stone against stone that set my hair raising, and I had to look around just to make sure no one was coming my way. Using the wall behind me, I kicked myself up onto the edge of the opening that revealed itself and dropped into the secret passageway. Unfortunately, the drop was a bit longer than I expected and my knees buckled as soon as I landed on my feet which sent me collapsing onto cold, damp earth.

Standing, I brushed my hands on my jeans as the hump slid shut behind me, encapsulating me in darkness so thick I probably wouldn't have been able to see my hand at the end of my nose. Taking a deep breath, I brought my hands together in front of me touching my fingertips together. I repressed a shiver as it slid down my spine, feeling the goosebumps rise on my arms as my veins began to hum and pulse with magic. The space between my hands grew warm and crackled, sending small jolts of electricity back up through my palms.

After a minute or so, I pulled my hands apart and opened my eyes. In my right hand, I was holding an apple sized ball of light showing me that the passage I stood in was about six feet wide and eight feet high. Bringing my arm back, I swung it forward throwing the ball of light as far as I could down the passage. It faded and went out before it reached the end of the passage.

With a sigh, I took my wand out of my pocket and lit the end of it before beginning my trudge through the passage under Hogwart's. Sirius and James told me the passage would let me out in Honeyduke's cellar and once I got out, all I had to do was sneak out the back door for the sweets shop. I wondered how long it would take the two of them to realize I was using the match as my excuse to sneak into Hogsmeade - probably not long at all if they already hadn't.

Of course when I asked the two master pranksters of a way to sneak into Hogsmeade they wanted to know why I needed to know such a thing. Did I tell them? Of course not, I told Andromeda I wouldn't tell anyone and it hadn't been a lie so I was bound to keep my word. My curse made me far more honorable than I actually was because more than anything I wanted to tell someone, Andromeda was in over her head and probably so was I.

I was so lost in thought that I missed the fact that the ground had started an upward slant and tripped when my foot caught on a step. Grunting, I hauled myself up and shone the light of my wand ahead seeing that the steps stopped abruptly when they met the ceiling. I climbed the stairs and set my wand down when I reached the top, bracing my shoulder against the trap door above me.

"Oh come on!" I groaned, using all the strength behind my legs as leverage to push the trap door.

Finally, with a great shove and a seriously unladylike grunt, the trap door opened and I was able to slide it aside. I set my wand between my teeth as I lifted myself out of the hole before turning and putting the trap door back in its place. Then suddenly, I froze in horror when I heard the door to the cellar opening followed by a sliver of light piercing the darkness. _Of course_ of all the times someone had to come down it was while I was down there.

I darted behind a stack of crates, my back against the wall of the stairs. I could hear my heartbeat thundering in my chest and began taking shallow even breaths as I gripped my wand tightly in my hand. A rotund man with a shiny balding head waddled into my view once he reached the end of the stairs and rounded into the room. It seemed the obstacle of the stairs was a bit much for him because he paused, placing his hand on his chest in an attempt to steady his breath. Once he assured himself that he was not going to keel over, he strode over to the opposite side of the room and bent over a few boxes to look through them.

As quietly as I could, I stepped from my not so secure hiding place since all he had to do was turn around and he'd see me. Taking over large steps to close the distance between myself and the stairs, I kept one eye on the man as I slid under the rope railing before I took the last half of the stairs two at a time. I found myself in the store room and all I had to do was turn around to find the back door.

The weather, if a tad on the chill side, was perfect for a Quidditch match. There was almost no wind which would ensure that the quaffles flew straight, and there wasn't very much sun which would heighten the Seekers' visibility. It was sure to be an interesting match, I just hoped it lasted long enough for me to do what I needed to get done and get back to the castle.

Even though I had a deadline to be back to the castle, I walked through Hogsmeade at an easygoing pace just enjoying being by myself for a little while. Alone time, and I mean true alone time, was something that I was greatly missing ever since James and Sirius' entrance into my life (bringing with them my new friends); just time to be by myself with my thoughts without the knowledge that in five, maybe ten minutes, someone was going to intrude on it. At those times during meals, or even in the Common Room when I disappeared into my own thoughts, when the conversation was not pertinent to me nor required my input, I was always asked if something was wrong or if I was okay. Surely they assumed that I was thinking of something depressing that warranted my sudden silence, and were trying to save me from myself before I had an emotional breakdown.

Don't get me wrong, I had come to love all of them but they could be a bit overwhelming. They always had to know what you were doing, with whom, when and how long it would take. It was something I wasn't accustomed to, and when you refused to tell them those things they got irritable and suspicious. I was so used to keeping most of myself _to_ myself, playing a part, biding my time until I could break away from it all.

"Miss? Can I help you?"

I shook my head bringing me out of my thoughts. I hadn't noticed that the person standing in front of me at the ticket office had moved. I took a step forward casting the clerk an apologetic smile and said, "Sorry. Uhm, I just need two tickets to King's Cross Station for the first weekend in November."

The clerk nodded and began typing away on what looked like a muggle typewriter. "Round trip?"

"No."

"Names?"

"Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks."

A few more clicking noises, followed by the sound of the parchment she had been typing on being pulled from the typewriter. She folded the paper and then tore it in half before she turned to me and told me how much to pay. I slid the coins over to her and she handed over the tickets with a smile.

"Thank you," I told her, pocketing the tickets and turning to walk away.

I was heading back toward the village smiling and feeling accomplished with myself, cutting across a side street to get to the main road because I had decided I'd like a butterbeer before I headed back. I was whistling absently to myself and was just about to open the door to The Three Broomsticks when I spotted them. Three figures were making their way down the street in my direction, two I recognized instantly - Bellatrix and Regulus, but the third I didn't recognize because the hood of his traveling cloak was pulled up to hide his face, but it definitely _was_ a he if his stature was any indication.

Whether it was my panic or my curiosity that made me move into the alleyway, I'll never know. But I stood in the shadow of the building as the three of them walked, catching a snippet of their conversation.

"So? What's He like?" Bellatrix demanded, her voice breathy with excitement.

The man between the two cousins chuckled as he stopped and tilted his head back, almost in awe. "He's everything we were promised and so much more. It's truly inspiring, He leaves no room for doubt that our cause will succeed," he told her.

"And when will we get to meet Him, show Him that we're ready to stand beside Him?" Bellatrix wondered.

My heart began to beat forcefully behind my ribs. They were talking about Voldemort, they had to have been, and the person with them was no doubt a Death Eater. Bella was looking at the man with a look I had never seen before. I always knew Bella was a little… _off_, but the look in her eyes now confirmed it. Her dark eyes held a sick gleam as they regarded the stranger, a feral twisted light shining from their depths.

I watched Regulus tilt his head slightly to the side before he leaned over to his companions and whispered something I couldn't hear. Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his slacks, he turned and stalked off somewhere I couldn't see him.

The stranger shrugged, turning his attention back to Bella. "All in good time, you'll be able to prove yourself to Him. He's been talking of taking one of you under His wing personally, He hears the goings on here at Hogwart's, thinks many of you have potential."

Her eyes brightened. "Potential?"

"But it takes much more than that," he cut across her harshly. "You must have the strength and fortitude to do whatever it is He wishes you to do, raise your wand to anyone without second guessing yourself. He demands devotion to the fullest extent… Tell me have you ever used an Unforgivable?"

I never heard Bellatrix's answer.

I couldn't help the yelp of pain that escaped my mouth as I was roughly pulled backwards by a handful of my own hair. My back hit a firm chest as my head wrenched back, and my assailant's hand came to close around my neck but applied no pressure.

"You're missing the first Quidditch match Elaina, never thought I'd see the day," came Regulus' harsh whisper in my ear.

I squirmed in his grasp, and he loosened his grip on my hair releasing the painful pressure on my scalp but did not remove his hand. His other hand roamed down my neck, over my shoulder and arm until it came to where my wand was protruding from my back pocket. I felt the slim piece of wood slide out of my pocket as my heart began to race wildly.

"What are you doing here, Elaina? You're damn lucky I'm the one who found you, you know that?" he said.

"What are _you_ doing here Regulus? Shouldn't you be at the Quidditch match, you are the Seeker and all," I replied.

He tightened his grip momentarily causing me to hiss in pain and bring my hand up to grip his wrist. "It's none of your business."

"You think so? You're walking around Hogsmeade cavorting with someone I assume to be a Death Eater from the conversation I was hearing, so I think it's my business."

I felt his mouth move against my ear to say something, but his cousin's voice cut him off. "Regulus, what's taking you so long?" Bella's shadow, along with the shadow of the cloaked man were approaching the alleyway.

"Just keep your mouth shut so I can think of a way to get you out of this," Regulus whispered hurriedly, his voice laced with desperation and authority. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

Bellatrix's dreamy smile grew into one of sickening glee when she breached the mouth of the alley and took in the scene before her. "Looks like your curiosity is finally getting you into some trouble, Elaina."

"Ah, hello Elaina, it's been awhile," the cloaked stranger said as he stepped into the shadow of the alley.

"Do I know you?" I wondered.

Two long, pale hands came up and pulled back the hood of the traveling cloak revealing a pale young man with sandy blond hair and a harsh, pointed face. I did know him actually, he graduated a year ahead of me and his father was the current Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement - Barty Crouch Jr. How ironic.

I waited for the shock at discovering Barty was a Death Eater to come but it never did. I remembered him being one of the most enthusiastic about joining Voldemort after he got out of Hogwart's. He would boast that he had gone around practicing the Unforgivables on the critters he would find skirting the outer tree line of the Forbidden Forest. He always made me uneasy when he was around, it was something about the way he would look at a person, as though he were imagining what they would look like if he were to torture them.

"Well done Regulus," Barty said to him over my shoulder. Then he turned his attention to me, asking, "Why don't you look surprised?"

"Because honestly, I'm not. What's the matter Barty, did Daddy not love you enough, or did he finally realize what a deranged, little psychopath you really are?" I sneered at him.

The punch that landed on the side of my face felt like it rocked my eye from its socket, and suddenly the only thing I could taste was blood between my teeth, but the shock kept me from feeling the pain of it. I imagined my lip was now swelling to the size of a small mouse and I could feel blood dripping down my chin.

"She was eavesdropping no doubt," Bella surmised. "Can we kill her?"

I felt Regulus' hand in my hair tighten again, and resisted the urge to wince in pain. He hadn't done it on purpose this time. Barty shook his head, "No, the Dark Lord wouldn't like that very much; unnecessary spillage of magical blood goes against His cause, and besides He's been lamenting the fact that we lost the Van Buren bloodline the night her family was killed, He'll be overjoyed to know one still lives."

"We can't just let her go!" Bella cried, outraged.

"We're not," Barty told her, his voice eerily calm. "You said you've never used an Unforgivable, Bellatrix… well, here's your chance to practice."

I felt Regulus' heart speed up against my back and mine did as well. It was suddenly hard to breathe, knowing that in a moment Bella would undoubtedly subject me to the Cruciatus Curse. I could already feel the fear slide down my spine, my brain was telling me to struggle against Regulus' hold on me because I knew he wouldn't put up much of a fight to help me get away, but I was not about to look weak by letting them know I was scared.

She turned to look at Barty like he was a god in human form before she fumbled inside her robes for her wand. And I saw my opportunity. I bent my knees and jumped up as I threw my weight backwards, using Regulus as leverage, and kicking my right leg out so it caught Barty in the chin as Regulus and I toppled backwards.

I landed on top of him with a grunt as he groaned in pain beneath me, having no doubt hit his head. Rolling off of him as quickly as I could, I turned and just as he was sitting back up punched him with as much force as I could manage. I heard a sickening crack as my family's ring made contact with his cheekbone before he fell back down, the combined injuries of his head and my punch rendering him unconscious.

I reached out for my wand from where it had fallen a few inches from his hand, but a booted foot came and crushed my wrist against the cobblestones. The tip of Barty's wand came to press into the hollow of my throat. "That was a mistake, Elaina."

"_Now_ can we kill her?" Bellatrix asked impatiently.

Barty sighed, "Oh dear Bella, you have so much to learn. Death should be a release, not a punishment."

It was hard to swallow around the way my heart was cramped in my throat and I felt like I wanted to be sick. Why couldn't I have just walked into The Three Broomsticks and let them be on their way? I could hear Barty and Bellatrix wondering what to do with me, or rather, _to_ me while I was outstretching my fingers as his foot dug my wrist against the cobblestones. My fear made it hard to focus, but my wand twitched and shuddered a few feet from me and that seemed to spurn me on a little more. I took a deep breath, and tried to clear my mind of panic. All it took was a brief flash of clarity through my mind and my wand slid along the ground and into my hand.

Knowing it would hurt like hell, I did it anyway. I violently ripped my wrist out from under Barty's foot making him lose his balance, gritting my teeth against the stones and pebbles as they tore through my skin. I cast a shield charm with my left hand hearing Bella's curse, which would have no doubt incapacitated me, smash against it with the sound of shattering glass. The stunner I sent toward Barty as I jumped to my feet hit him soundly in the face, and threw him against the wall where he collapsed.

As I spun to face Bellatrix, I disarmed her, catching her wand in my free hand before stunning her. Her face bore a look of utter surprise as she collapsed. With a sigh, I lowered my wand and looked at my wrist where the exposed second layer of my skin was burning. I stood there for a moment waiting for my heart to stop racing, picking out small pebbles and brushing away the dirt and blood.

I heard the shifting of fabric, followed by a groan and as I spun around to once again send Barty into the realm of unconsciousness, a scarlet jet streaked past the side of my head and hit him squarely in the chest.

I twirled around to face the new person who walked into the alley, and sighed as I dropped my wand to my side. "So you followed me, did you?"

Sirius stood at the end of the alley with his wand still raised. His chest was heaving with his ragged breath as if he had run for awhile and the fierce look on his face was, admittedly, rather frightening. He didn't say anything as he lowered his wand and entered the alley, stepping over Bella's unconscious body to stand in front of me.

Sirius glanced around at the three unconscious bodies surrounding us before he looked back to me. One hand came up and he gripped my chin tightly between his forefinger and thumb, turning my head this way and that to get a better look at my split lip and the bruise forming along my cheek.

"Are you alright?" He wondered, his voice tight.

I tried to shake my head out of his hand, but his grip just tightened making me unable to do so. "I'm fine, I'm far from a damsel in distress."

"You're lucky they didn't kill you," Sirius retorted as he released my chin.

"I think death would have been the least of my worries," I replied, oddly calm considering the circumstances.

I stepped around Sirius up to where Bellatrix was laying. I crouched down, placing the tip of my wand to Bellatrix's forehead, muttered a spell under my breath and closed my eyes. A moment later, the blacks of the inside of my eyelids were flickering with Bella's most recent memories. I took my time removing the scene in the alley from her memory and replacing it with a false one that started the moment Regulus walked away from her and Barty on the main road. It was shaky at best and it would probably collapse in a few weeks time, but for the moment it was going to have to do.

Opening my eyes, I watched as a silvery stream leaked out of Bella's ears and dissolved into the ground beneath her. "What did you do to her?" I heard Sirius ask behind me.

"Altered her memory," I replied, turning to perform the same spell on Barty as well.

"… Since when can you alter someone's memory, Elaina?" he demanded. "That's really advanced magic."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Sirius," I started. "But there's a lot you don't know about me."

* * *

**Okay, so as we can see Elaina's #1 fault is her curiosity,  
it will always get the best of her and nearly always get  
her in trouble when she succombs to it. **

**And if you don't recall from way back when, Van Buren  
was Elaina's mother's maiden name. **

**This chapter was supposed to be posted yesterday, but  
once again my laptop is having problems. Does anyone  
else have the problem of their wireless assistant randomly  
turning itself on and off? I feel like I'm the only one...  
and I probably am. **

**Also, I have had the worst fucking day ever! Just... ugh!  
I can't even express how angry I am... I'm not even angry,  
I'm raging! I just want to punch someone in the kidney! UGH. **

**Anyway... I'd like to thank... amrawo, JaneSkye, Chloe Black,  
Sivynia, sakuno101, SeriouslyJustNo, AuntMo, and bananafreak97  
for reviewing the last chapter! Thank you guys so much! **

**Review?**

**-(gxr)-  
**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/1/2013**


	22. James Was Right

**Ch. 21 - James Was Right**

_this will be night after hard reality  
__a conspiracy of the imagination  
__it has a taste of bread and lightness of vodka  
__but the choice to remain here  
_- An Answer, by Zbigniew Herbert

Sirius and I didn't say a word to one another on the way back to the castle. I didn't like the silence between us, I could feel the anger and irritation rolling off of him in waves. His suspicion about finding me in an alleyway with his brother, cousin, and a Death Eater was almost palpable. He walked several feet ahead of me the entire way back to the castle through the secret passageway. I tried to will myself not to be angry at him in turn, I hadn't even explained the situation yet and he was mad at me! How was it possible that his silent anger made me feel guilty and I hadn't even done anything wrong?

I stopped just short of running into Sirius when he extinguished the light of his wand. By the light at the end of mine, I watched him reach up and tap his wand against the stone ceiling. Again, there was the hair-raising sound of stone grating against stone as the one-eyed witch's hump slid aside and I had to resist the urge to grit my teeth.

"After you," Sirius said, turning to me with a smirk. Surely he must've thought that I, having never snuck in or out of the castle this way, would not be able to pull myself out of the hole for lack of experience and he would end up having to help me.

But, I set my wand between my teeth for a second time that day and approached the wall. Given the number of times Sirius, James, Remus and Peter had probably come in and out this way there was bound to be hand and foot holes for them to haul themselves out since the passage wasn't exactly accommodating for a running jump start. After searching the wall for a moment, I found them. I had to jump a bit to reach the hand holes considering that the boys had a longer reach than me, but after that it was fairly easy to haul myself out.

I sat on the edge of the opening and looked back down at Sirius wearing a victorious smirk. "Coming dear?" I cooed at him.

A moment or so later, Sirius was landing next to me behind the statue, brushing invisible dirt off his pants. We continued our silent trudge through the castle, the distant echo of dinner in the Great Hall filling the empty corridor around us.

"So would you like to explain how you found me?" I wondered nonchalantly.

"Would you like to explain why I found you in the situation I did?" Sirius countered.

He thought he had me. Sirius thought he had found me in the middle of some illicit activity that I would not want to divulge to him, but the fact of the matter was I had nothing to hide about where he found me. Aside from the fact that I was helping his pregnant, underage cousin drop out of school which had nothing to do with me ending up in the alleyway and thus could easily be excluded from the story and not turn into a lie.

"Well," I began, "I was on my way to The Three Broomsticks before I headed back to the castle when I spotted your brother and Bellatrix coming my way with someone else, who ended up being Barty Crouch Jr. Because I am way too nosy for my own good, I ducked into the alley and your brother caught me. Bella and Barty followed a minute later where they discussed what to do about me eavesdropping. Consequently I tried to escape, complications arose, ensued and were overcome which is when you showed up."

By this time we had stopped walking and were facing one another in the corridor. Sirius wore a gobsmacked expression on his face that I couldn't help but chuckle at. He always thought he was one step ahead of everyone, but that was more James' area of expertise and he never came up with a backup plan when he was outsmarted.

"And why didn't you alter Regulus' memory as well?" he demanded.

"Regulus was trying to figure out a way to help me, he just didn't think quick enough," I replied.

"Will Bella ever remember what happened?"

"It'll be like…" I trailed off, trying to find the right way to phrase my explanation in a way that it wouldn't be confusing. "… a half-remembered dream. Her subconscious will know something's wrong with the memory I gave her when she thinks back on it, but she won't be able to figure out what. Until the memory I gave her collapses, she'll have the nagging feeling it's not what really happened, but won't feel the need to question it. That's how most of the lesser Memory Replacement Charms work."

Sirius nodded thoughtfully and I could see the tip of his tongue running against the inside of his cheek. It was a habit of his I noticed comes out when he has something he wants to ask but isn't sure he'll like the answer, or isn't sure how to word what he wants to say.

But I wasn't sure I wanted to answer the question he was thinking of, so just as he took a breath I cut him off. "So now do you want to explain how you found me?"

The expression on Sirius' face fell away into one of defeat. Squeezing the bridge of his nose, he said, "James is going to kill me for this." He reached around and pulled a piece of parchment that was folded over several times from his back pocket, and said, "This is the secret to the Marauders' success."

I took the pack of parchment, unfolding it and turning it over while my confusion mounted. Could he see something on the parchment that I could not? Looking back up, Sirius was smiling an indulgent smile as I tried to figure out just what exactly the parchment was. Amusement was shining in his eyes and he was biting his lip as he tried not to laugh at me.

"I don't understand," I admitted. "It's blank."

"Is it?" he questioned, his voice laced with laughter. "Is it really?" Sirius took a step forward and brandished his wand and placing the tip of it against the parchment said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

And then suddenly from the point where Sirius' wand was touching the parchment, ink began to spread across the wrinkled parchment. Lines came together, crisscrossed, looped and leaked to every corner of the paper and then four lines of words began to write themselves along the top proclaiming proudly in great, elegant green lettering:

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs  
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers  
are proud to present: _

_**THE MARAUDER'S MAP**_

Now, I turned over the parchment and unfolded it in amazement. What I was looking at was a map that detailed every nook and cranny of the Hogwart's castle and grounds. But the really remarkable thing were the little black dots moving across the parchment, and each dot had a name beside it in miniscule handwriting.

"Is it really showing everyone?" I asked, looking at Sirius with amazement.

He nodded, replying, "Everyone. Where they are, and what they're doing every second of every day. How do you think we managed to get away with so much shit over the years."

"This is amazing!" I breathed. "Did you guys -"

"Make it?" He finished with a nod. "Yeah we did. Took us a couple years, but we finally got it right." Then he laughed as he threw back his head, telling me, "There's actually a hilarious thing it does that Pete came up with - if you try to read it without knowing the incantation it insults you."

I laughed, turning over another fold that showed the Gryffindor Tower. There were four dots sitting in the common room with James. The Quidditch team. "Did James call for a team meeting?"

Realization dawned on Sirius' face as he slapped his forehead. "Ah shit I forgot! That's why I was sent to find you in the first place! James wants an emergency practice tomorrow morning."

Sirius took the map back from me and wiped it before stuffing it back in his pocket before we began to head back to the tower, our pace far more brisk than before. "Why?" I wondered.

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "Slytherin _crushed_ Ravenclaw. It was embarrassing to even watch. So now James is freaking out," he answered with a nonchalant shrug.

"But isn't tomorrow -"

"My birthday? Yes. Is Quidditch more important to James than my birthday? … Most likely."

**-:-**

"Stupid… James… and his… stupid… emergency… practice!"

There was a horrible stitch in my side and my saliva tasted sour every time I swallowed, but I didn't dare stop running. If I stopped, I'd have another five laps added on to the twenty we were already supposed to be doing because as James liked to remind us: if you're fat on the ground, you're slow in the air.

_Only four more to go,_ I told myself as I rounded the far end of pitch. The only good thing about having only four more laps to go was the fact that I, along with Sirius and Mike, were a lap ahead of everyone even if both of the boys were several paces ahead of me. Of course James was in the air on his broom "supervising" us, which really made me hate him at the moment. It was bad enough that James had us running laps, but before the laps he had us doing bleachers with our brooms over our heads. I lost feeling in my arms after the fist five or six passes.

"I… fucking… hate him," I heard Vesper say a little bit behind me. "He's trying… to kill us."

Like me, Vesper was coated in a thick layer of sweat that glistened in the sun because it was an uncharacteristically warm day considering the month, and with all the cardio we were doing we didn't feel the chill after a little awhile anyway. Unlike me, she had abandoned her t-shirt around ten laps or so ago and was running in her sports bra. All of the boys had taken off their shirts and a few of them had tied them around their heads in turbans to absorb some of their own sweat.

And then as if the laps weren't bad enough, suddenly, the sky gave an ominous crack before the clouds parted and within a few seconds all of us were thoroughly soaked through with rainwater, dropping the temperature a good ten degrees. You could hear the collective groaning of the team as many of them slowed their pace but pushed on.

"Come on people! We're English, we can deal with a little fucking rain, pick up the pace!" James shouted over the din.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vesper appearing as she tried to pass me. Her head was tucked into her chest as she pushed herself forward, and I couldn't help but chuckle because I could hear the long winded string of profanities pouring from her mouth as she began to sprint.

"See! Vesper's got the idea, take it from her people!"

"Fuck you, James!" Vesper shouted, sending him an obscene hand gesture.

After a couple more minutes, James shouted, "Alright, change of plans, everyone in the air!"

Everyone skidded to a halt and took a moment to catch their breath before summoning their brooms and finally taking to the air. I was still breathing heavily as I took my place in the Chaser's formation on James' right. He called the Reserve team onto the field and we held a mock Quidditch match.

I could see exactly _nothing_. The rain was so thick and coming down in sheets, I couldn't make out any of my teammates, they were merely blurs among the raindrops. That's when I knew the mock match was going to be a disaster. More than once I almost collided with other team members, bludgers were flying wild because it was likely that the Beaters could not locate them and Vesper had simply not even tried to locate the snitch James had released at the beginning of practice.

It was almost understandable that we were having this much difficulty in the bad weather since it was the first time we were flying in such unfavorable conditions. It was something we'd have to get over, matches would continue throughout winter in near white-out conditions, and there was no such thing as a snow delay in Quidditch. This weather was giving us a leg up on our competition because if it was this bad when we played Ravenclaw in two weeks at least we'd know what our limitations were.

After a little while, I'd had enough. The rain had soaked me through to the bone, and the wind had picked up seeming to cut right through me every time it blew; I was shivering. It was a miracle that I was managing to stay on my broom at all. Somehow, our team had managed to actually locate and possess the quaffle and were headed toward the Reserve Team's goal when I stopped. James kept flying until it came to the part in the play where he would have tossed the quaffle over his shoulder and I would have caught it behind him to make the point, but I wasn't there.

"Elaina! What the hell are you doing!" he shouted at me, his words warped in the rain.

"James this is insane! We can't see anything, you're going to kill us!"

"We need to keep practicing!" he countered.

"James, if Ravenclaw was so thoroughly crushed by Slytherin yesterday, what makes you think it'll be any different when we play them?" Jeremy, my fellow Chaser, called.

I sent him an appreciative smile, knowing that I would not be the only one to catch James' anger over this. James sighed heavily, looking between all of the team members, shivering, looking like drowned rats. Vesper had already taken it upon herself to head to the ground and begin walking toward the locker rooms.

"Fine," he said. "Hit the showers!" Then he turned to look at Jeremy and me, informing us, "You two have suicides until I say stop next practice for this." And without another word, James headed to the ground.

"Thanks for that Jeremy," I told him once we reached the hallway to the locker room.

Jeremy shrugged his shoulders. "No problem, though if I had known suicides were going to be the punishment…" he trailed off and I punched him in the arm lightly.

"Do you think he'll make us go after the balls too?" I wondered.

At this, Jeremy threw back his head and laughed and his voice echoed against the walls around us. Jeremy was one of those guys who was genuinely a good natured, nice person. He was always good for a laugh, or an ear if you needed someone to talk to. He never judged and took everything in stride.

"Well, we won't have to worry about the snitch, Vesper had it the entire time," he said.

"What? When did she catch it?"

"When we were running, it flew too close to her and she grabbed it and pocketed it," he replied.

I shook my head in awe, though I shouldn't have been surprised. "That sneaky, little bint."

**-:- **

I had stayed in the locker room for as long as I possibly could. First, I had dunked myself into an ice bath to prevent any soreness the next day, and then I took a steaming hot shower to chase away every last bit of cold from my body. Then, after practice I headed to the library to finish up my homework and spent the rest of my day there. By the time I left the library it was almost half past nine.

Every once in awhile on my way back to the common room, I would see students coming to and fro wearing costumes because it was Halloween and heading to parties in different common rooms or empty classrooms. No one cared that they had classes the next day, most upper classmen probably wouldn't even show up for their morning classes as they nursed a hangover in their dormitories.

As I stepped through the portrait hole, I wondered what kind of scene I would discover since I had not returned to the Common Room since the morning.

"SURPRISE!"

"_STUPEFY! REDUCTO! PETRIFICUS TOTALIS!" _

"Jesus Christ, Elaina! What the fuck!?"

If I hadn't known any better I would have thought my heart had pounded right out of my chest and across the floor as I looked around the shocked faces of my housemates. Peter had been the unfortunate victim of my stunner and a sixth year had taken my body-bind spell, while one of the couches had a hole in the middle from my blasting spell. I had dropped my books and fired all three spells within a matter of seconds after the lights had flipped back on. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins at such a rapid speed I swear I could taste it.

"What do you mean '_Jesus Christ, Elaina'_!? What were you trying to do, give me a bloody post traumatic flashback!? You can't do shit like that to me James!" I shouted, shoving him in the shoulder. "I could've killed someone!"

With the adrenaline leaking from my system, it left me dry mouthed and shaking as I crouched down to pick up my books to have something to do with my hands. The corners of my eyes were stinging and my chest shuddered with every breath as I tried to steady myself.

"What are you all looking at!? There's nothing to see, go elsewhere!" Marlene told the crowd loudly, making shooing motions with her arms.

The crowd dispersed and suddenly Remus' scarred hands were helping to gather my books. "We thought you were Sirius," he explained.

I sniffed, wiping my hand under my nose. "Do I look like Sirius to you? And didn't he say that he didn't want a party?"

Remus shrugged, picking up loose parchment and adjusting it into a folder. "I think we've been over this - James doesn't take kindly to the word 'no', not even from Sirius."

Another body crouched down beside me to clean up the ink I spilled. "We've scared the life out of the last three people who have walked in, not including you. I actually think the first year wet himself," said Peter.

I looked up, trying my best to send Peter an apologetic smile, but it was shaky at best. "Sorry Peter, I really hadn't meant to hit you."

The boy shrugged. "It's alright."

Once all of my books were safely back in my arms I asked, "So has Sirius not been back all day?"

Both boys shook their heads. "Not since after practice. Sirius came back and changed his clothes and was gone - has been ever since."

I nodded. "I see. Do you know where I might find him?" I wondered.

**-:- **

_It's a fucking blank wall! What the hell!? _

I turned to look at the wall opposite the one I was facing. Remus said I should look on the seventh floor in the room across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet. The problem was that _there was no room!_ Peter said that Sirius would want somewhere he can get away from James as Sirius was usually rather sullen on his birthdays and liked to be by himself. They called it the "Room of Requirement" and they had found it in their fourth year when they needed a place to hide from Filch after a prank gone wrong. Remus told me that I would have to think about what I wanted or needed to be able to find Sirius.

"Okay… so I need to know where Sirius would want to be on his birthday, away from James and his friends…" I thought to myself as I paced.

On my third pass in front of the wall, there was a sound that could only be described as something materializing into existence and when I looked up I was facing a wooden door with Sirius' name engraved on it. I stood in shock for a moment as I stared at the door that a moment ago did not exist.

Shaking my head in awe, I mumbled, "I love magic."

Taking a deep breath, I gently pushed the door open and let myself inside. The room on the other side of the door was of a decent size and on the walls were several Gryffindor posters, as well as posters of motorcycles and bathing suit clad models. The window opposite me was tall, trimmed in thick damask curtains and the air was filled with a scent that I immediately recognized as Sirius'.

My eyes drew to the bed situated in the middle of the room where I found Sirius staring at me. "How'd you find me?"

"Remus and Peter gave me clues," I replied. "What is this place?"

Sirius sighed and leaned back against the pillows. "My room at my parents' house."

"Of all the places to get away to?"

"It's the one place I thought no one would think to look for me if they came here, I told the room I didn't want James to come in." I crossed the distance in four strides and sat myself on the edge of the bed as Sirius moved his legs to make room for me. "Why'd you come looking for me?"

I scoffed a laugh, and told him, "Because James' surprise party for you almost gave me a heart attack."

Sirius let out an irritated sound as he gritted his teeth. "I told him not to," he ground out.

Placing my hand on his knee, I replied, "You should have known he wasn't going to listen."

He didn't respond as he nodded, looking anywhere but at me. I suddenly felt bad that I had intruded on his space, on the time he had taken to be alone when just yesterday I had been reveling in my alone time. But Sirius wasn't like me, he didn't do well by himself. He was so used to being around people, being the center of attention, part of a group that being alone was probably a foreign concept to him. I was willing to bet that he was getting ready to leave the room shortly anyhow.

I felt his fingers brush my face making me focus my attention back on him. "Your bruise already looks better," he said.

"Yeah, I put that healing cream Maryann gave me on it; it should go away in a day or two," I told him. After a beat of silence I stood and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do intrude. I'll go, I just wanted you to know that James is trying to kill half the Gryffindors by scaring the life out of them."

But as I turned, his hand reached out to encircle my wrist and tightened. "Don't." And there was something in his voice that made my stomach knot anxiously.

I silently acquiesced, sitting myself back down. Swallowing down my nerves I wondered, "Shouldn't birthdays be happy occasions?"

Sirius took his hand away and looked out the window to the landscape that the room supplied there. "It's Reg's birthday too."

I nodded - I'd almost forgotten. "That's right, you two are irish twins. He's sixteen today."

Sirius nodded again, but I don't think he actually heard me, at least not my words. He just heard my voice and knew he was meant to make some sort of reply when I finished speaking. He wasn't sitting with me anymore, he was somewhere far off thinking of something I could only guess at. But when he looked back at me I was absolutely cowed to see that there were tears brimming in his eyes.

"You know the night I left, I begged Regulus to come with me," he said quietly. He shook his head, looking down to his hands where he was rubbing one of his palms with his thumb. "He said he wanted to, but he couldn't. James had even told me to bring Reg if I could get him to leave, but that little bastard wouldn't."

"There's a considerable difference between 'can't' and 'won't', Sirius," I told him gently with a hand on his knee.

"What does it matter?" He snapped, harshly. "My brother obviously made his choice, and it's probably too late now anyway."

"So that's it? You're just going to give up on your brother because he couldn't leave the only home he's ever known and everything he was familiar with? Regulus was what… fourteen when you left?" I said. "You had James to run to Sirius, who did you leave Regulus to run to?"

"So you're saying this is my fault?"

I shook my head. "It's no one's fault. Regulus is a product of the way he was raised, nothing more, nothing less. Clearly your parents kept a stricter eye on him when he left for school than they did on you, and it was easier with him being in the house his blood says he should be. You would be the exact same way had you been in Slytherin."

Sirius fervidly shook his head and sat up, bringing his face inches from mine to challenge me. I could smell the heat of firewhiskey lacing his breath as it broke across my face. "I wouldn't."

And he fully believed that too, but I couldn't stop the indulgent smile from crossing my face. And as he looked at my expression, I could see him becoming less sure of himself. I began nodding slowly. "Yes, you would, Sirius. And so would I."

"So we broke the mould, what does that say about us?" he wondered.

"I didn't break the mould, when the hat was torn between Slytherin and Gryffindor,_ I _told it to put me in Slytherin."

"Are you mad that the hat didn't listen?"

"For awhile I was because the hat's decision made my friends not want to talk to me."

"And now?"

"… I couldn't imagine being in any other house," I told him honestly.

Sirius' expression softened as a corner of his mouth tilted upwards into a smile. His hand came up, brushing through the hair that rested against my face, his hand just skimming the edges of my face. I instantly recognized this motion as different than when James did it. When James ran his fingers through my hair, it was rough, quick and usually there was an intentional tug or ruffle which resulted in me slapping his hand away which would make him laugh. I knew James' actions as a way of showing his affection for me as his sister, no different than when he would sling his arm around my shoulder in the corridors.

But this was different. Sirius' fingers in my hair were slow, careful of the ever present knots and tangles it housed. His fingertips against my scalp sent the hairs on my arms raising with the goosebumps cascading over my skin. His face was still close to mine, his breath still breaking across my cheeks, but while my breath was coming quickly and unevenly Sirius breathed easy.

And why wouldn't he breathe easy? How many times had he been in this same situation with different girls, housed in darkened broom cupboards, or sheltered beneath soft cotton sheets and concealed from the world by scarlet hangings? And suddenly, I realized I should be pushing him away, or turning my head, whatever it took to stop encouraging his current actions… but I wasn't.

Convulsively, I felt my tongue dart out of my mouth to moisten my dry lips, watching as Sirius' eyes took in the movement with fascination, as if he had never seen someone do it before. His hand moved from the side of my face to cup my chin, the pad of his thumb running along the swell of my bottom lip pausing briefly over the healing split. I felt my body lean closer to him without my permission, my eyes never leaving his face as if I could decipher what he was thinking.

Taking the involuntary movement of my body as encouragement, Sirius leaned closer as well, the distance between his mouth and mine barely a breath and I could taste his every exhale. My hand found his chest, my fingers clenching into the worn fabric of his t-shirt as a way to push him away from me. My thoughts were becoming hazy with his smell, and I could barely swallow with the way my heart was cramping from beating so hard.

I took a breath to say his name, to hopefully make him reconsider our distance and predicament. But I should have known better, it was too late, I had let him continue for far longer than I should have to dissuade him now. I should have known he wouldn't give me a chance to stop him because as I breathed the first syllable of his name, Sirius made his move.

He sealed his lips to mine, suffocating me with the cedar wood smell left behind on his clothing, the fresh soap smell clinging to his skin and the warmth of the whiskey on his breath. And I let him. I let him draw us up so we were crouched on our knees, let him push my body flush against his. One hand on the side of my face, the other against my hip, I felt his fingers breach the hem of my shirt so he could press his calloused hand against the small of my back.

And probably worst of all, I kissed him back.

I don't know how long I let him kiss me, his mouth moving in an impossibly addicting rhythm over mine, how long I pulled him to me willing him to continue. But suddenly he stopped, holding my face between his hands, his mouth hovering so our lips still touched. I opened my eyes, regarding his features as he regarded mine, taking in the way his lips had swollen from the pressure of mine.

And all at once a sort of panic stricken realization clouded the grey of his eyes as he said, "Oh shit, James was right."

Before I could blink, he was gone. His warmth, his smell, everything. And the room shifted with his absence, melting into a black void before it shifted again into an impossibly small cell-like room with me in the middle.

* * *

**-smiles sheepishly- I know it's been a really long time,  
but I hope this makes up for it! **

**Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter,  
I really appreciate it!**

**This author's note would be longer, butI have to leave  
for work, like... NOW.**

**Review? **

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/2/2013**


	23. Equal and Opposite Reactions

**Ch. 22 - Equal and Opposite Reactions**

_If I be fair, or false, or freaked with fear_  
_If I my tongue in lockèd box immure_  
_Blame not me, for I am sick with love._  
_Yet would I be your friend most willingly_  
_Since friendship would infect me killingly._  
- What to Say Upon Being Asked to Be Friends, Julian Talamantez Brolaski

Sirius grunted, then sighed, smacking the back of his head against the wall behind him. The girl on her knees stopped abruptly and looked up at him, her doe eyes heavy with lust. "What's wrong?"

He glanced down at her and said nothing for a long moment. She was pretty to be sure and in possession of a self-esteem low enough that all it took was a few whispers, a warm smile and a heated promise to lead to their current situation. Some time ago, Sirius would have been enjoying himself immensely and he would have gladly returned the favor to the girl in kind.

Now all he saw when he looked at the girl was everything he wanted and she lacked. Her skin tone was too pale, not warm enough in color. The color of her eyes was a flat, unimpressive and stereotypical blue where Sirius wanted changing hues of jade, caramel and gold. He raised a hand, brushing it through her flaxen, straight hair that was all wrong compared to volumes of dark, textured waves.

Why could he find no comfort in these meaningless exchanges like he used to?

Sirius almost couldn't believe what he was doing, but he found himself reaching down and zipping up his jeans. He squeezed the bridge of his nose and sighed again, hearing the girl raise to her feet. When Sirius opened his eyes, he found her staring at him questioningly.

Finally, he shook his head. "Sorry."

Then he left her there.

Sirius hadn't spoken to Elaina in nearly a week, not since he kissed her. He avoided her when he could and did not talk to her when he could not. He wasn't acting like himself and the fact that Elaina was treating him no different from normal was _not helping!_ Sirius had at least expected her to be angry with him, he was ready to see it burning in the expanse of her gaze - but there was nothing! Nothing changed in the way she looked at him, spoke to him, or acted around him.

And dealing with the whole situation would be easier if only he could stop thinking about her, could stop thinking about kissing Elaina, her mouth warm and yielding under his and the sweetness of her hesitations.

To say that he had not been prepared for his own reaction to Elaina's kiss would be an understatement. But as he lost himself in the feel of her, he heard James yelling in his head, telling him not to break her heart. And as he had pulled away from her seeing her eyelashes flutter back and taking in her kiss-swollen mouth, Sirius knew he would do just that. Elaina had found him in the Room of Requirement and stayed with him, offering him reassurance and comfort as was expected of a _friend_ and Sirius, slightly tipsy from Firewhiskey, had taken advantage of it, of her. And with that realization, he fled.

It was an infatuation, Sirius told himself. It was nothing new and it would pass. He admired Elaina because she was clever, determined, strong - she was everything his one-night stands were not. And yet, there was an underlying fragility to Elaina, something she tried desperately to hide, that could only come from the uprooting of her life that made her _real_.

With an irritated sigh, Sirius plopped down to lunch beside Remus, reaching out and grabbing a sandwich before taking a violent bite. Teeth gnashing together, Sirius looked down the table out of the corner of his eye to where Elaina was engaged in conversation with Marlene and Alice. She looked happy, he couldn't help but notice with a slight twinge of something that left a bitter taste in his mouth. Jealousy, perhaps, for the fact that he seemed to have no affect on her whatsoever while the taste of her and the smell of her skin swirled around and around in his head.

"What's the matter Sirius?"

Sirius brought his gaze up to Lily across the table from him, her emerald green eyes shining with concern. He was aware that he'd been acting strange the past week so it was not a surprise that the most common question he received was if something was wrong. Quite frankly he was not okay, but he could never admit it to anyone least of all to Lily, whom Sirius was quite positive would gladly cause him bodily harm if she found out what happened between him and Elaina.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"Oh _really_," James crooned from Lily's other side, "_nothing_ is what's been making you so surly recently?"

"I really don't want to talk about this right now," Sirius grumbled.

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that you and Elaina have hardly spoken to one another since your birthday?" Remus wondered without looking up from his book.

Sometimes Sirius hated that Remus was so perceptive.

Something seemed to click for Lily, Sirius saw the flash in her eyes, the look of pieces coming together. Then the pensive expression on her face crumpled into one of annoyance as her cheeks began to turn red. "What did you _do!?_"

Luckily for Sirius at that moment, someone jogged up to the Gryffindor table toward Elaina distracting everyone for a few minutes. It was a girl from Ravenclaw, one of Andromeda's friends if Sirius wasn't mistaken. The girl stooped to Elaina's level and whispered something in her ear and as the Ravenclaw girl talked, the look on Elaina's face changed. The lively, smiling expression began to melt away, her eyes became distant and her mouth pressed into a thin line. Elaina turned to the girl and whispered something in return before turning back to Marlene and Alice; Sirius watched her mouth form her excuses before she stood, tossing down her napkin.

"Wonder what that's about," Peter mumbled, "didn't look too good."

But Sirius kept his eye on Elaina as she left the hall with the Ravenclaw girl, noticing another person converging on them from the Hufflepuff table. Sirius clenched his fists on his thighs as he watched Ian Fitzpatrick pull Elaina to a halt and begin talking to her. To her credit, Elaina seemed to be trying as hard as she could to get out of the conversation, but Ian was persistent, dancing around her to stand in her way when she moved away and tried to circumvent him.

The Ravenclaw girl watched their awkward two-step for a few minutes, her face becoming more troubled, fidgeting and twisting her hands. Elaina shot a glance to the girl and finally made a horizontal slashing motion with her hands and Sirius saw the word 'enough' shape her lips. After that, Sirius couldn't read the words on her lips because she was talking too fast, but Ian smiled and began nodding. Then Elaina sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose and made a dismissive fluttering movement with her right hand before she nodded and said 'fine'. Ian turned away smiling, giving a thumbs up to someone at the Hufflepuff table while Elaina grabbed the Ravenclaw girl around her elbow and disappeared.

Unfortunately, Sirius was aware that James' attention had not strayed from him during the entire scene. James was studying him, and it didn't take much for James to figure it out, in fact, Sirius was a little shocked it took so long for him to do so. James was usually so perceptive when it came to reading Sirius' emotions and state of mind, so for it to have taken James almost a week to figure out what was wrong, Sirius figured that he was hiding it well, or that he was too erratic for James to pin down the problem.

"Something happened between the two of you, didn't it?" James said lowly.

Sirius opened his mouth, wanted to deny it, but the only thing that came out was silence.

"I knew it!" Lily hissed, her eyes narrowing. She rounded on James, punching him in the arm. "So much for _he doesn't think of her that way_, huh James?" Then she turned back to Sirius and sneered, "You can't ever just be friends with a girl, can you?"

James said nothing as Lily shoved herself up from his side, but his teeth were clenching and the tendon in his jaw was beginning to tighten and reveal itself. Still Sirius sat in silence, meeting James' darkening gaze bravely, determined that he see the guilt Sirius felt over what had happened.

"What happened?" James demanded.

Sirius took a deep breath before he began to regale his friends with the story of Elaina finding him in the Room of Requirement on his birthday. He told them how he had drunk not quite half of a bottle of Firewhiskey before she had arrived and so he hadn't been thinking too clearly. Sirius told them how Elaina had comforted him, confidently reassured him in a way no one ever had before and how her utter sincerity had caught him off guard. And he told them that he wasn't entirely sure what made him kiss her and that he had persisted despite the fact that Sirius had felt Elaina's hesitations, that she was working herself up to pushing him away, but in that moment he had wanted it so _fiercely. _

And when Sirius told them that he had left Elaina alone, he was quite sure that had they not been in the middle of the Great Hall, James would have punched him.

"You _left_ her there!" James nearly shouted.

"I didn't know what else to do," Sirius admitted, "I panicked."

James' elbow slammed on the table between them and suddenly his finger was pointed in Sirius' face. "I told you. _I told you_ to be careful."

"I know," Sirius said, dropping his head into his hand. "I feel wretched already so can we not do this right now?"

"When should we do this then?" James wondered, "When would be more convenient for _you_?"

Sirius groaned as he ran his hands over his face and then through his hair, averting his gaze from James. He had known James was not going to take kindly to what Sirius had done to Elaina, but really, it takes two to tango and considering the fact that she fully kissed him back meant that Elaina was not entirely blameless in this. But then again people tended to assume that when there was a problem with a female, the root of the issue could be 'Sirius', with the pun intended.

"_What_ do you want me to say, Prongs?" Sirius snapped, abruptly. "Do you want me to say 'I'm sorry I kissed her'? Because I gotta tell you, it'll probably be a lie. Or, you know what? I'll just go ahead and tell Elaina that what happened can never happen again, would that suit you?"

Sirius didn't wait for James to answer before he shoved himself to his feet and stalked from the Great Hall.

But Remus' voice followed him out as he addressed one of their friends. "You owe me five galleons."

-:-

Elaina was late returning to the Common Room after dinner that night. Everyone had settled themselves down to study, start on homework or, just wind down for the night. Lily still hadn't so much as glanced at Sirius since lunch, but he was grateful that James decided to stay on speaking terms with him. He knew their conversation wasn't anywhere near finished, but for the time being James would let it rest.

A small explosion went off in the center of the room followed by a plume of smoke as Marlene giggled watching Peter cough and wave away the smoke where his cards had combusted. "You" -cough- "cheated!" Peter cried.

"I did not! Don't be a sore loser, Pete," Marlene replied. "Another game?"

Begrudgingly, Peter nodded. "Sure."

"Then deal the cards," she said, sticking out her tongue.

As Peter dealt a new hand to himself and Marlene, the portrait swung open revealing Elaina as she strode in. But she looked… off. There was a thousand mile away look on her face, a sort of serene confusion Sirius had never seen before. She stumbled over a rift in the carpet but managed to catch herself before she landed face-first in the Common Room. Blinking, she seemed to refocus and with a jolt realized where she was.

"You all right, Elaina?" Marlene asked.

Elaina blinked at Marlene. "I…" She shook her head, "yes, I'm fine…"

"… Are you sure? You don't look okay," Lily added, closing her book.

Elaina shook her head again and moved to sit in the open armchair, crossing her legs at her ankles like she always did. "I've had an… interesting day," she said with a short laugh. "And I'm pretty sure that at some point amid the chaos of it, I agreed to go on a date."

Sirius forgot how to breathe. James and Lily shared a meaningful glance. Marlene squealed.

Her game forgotten, Marlene jumped from the floor and perched herself on the arm of Elaina's chair. "With whom! Dish, dish!"

"… Ian -"

"_Fitzpatrick?_" James shouted. "He nearly killed you, why would you agree to go on a date with him?"

Whether Elaina shot a discreet glance in Sirius' direction, he didn't know because he was entirely focused on trying to breathe and trying to keep himself from vomiting up his heart that was beating in his throat. His mouth had run dry and his blood was howling in his ears - he was surprised no one had yet to comment on his reddening complexion.

"That was an accident, James!" Elaina replied. "He didn't know I couldn't swim!"

"So is that why he asked you, to feel less guilty for nearly drowning you?"

Elaina sighed, "As a matter of fact, yes, he admitted it readily."

"What the hell! And you still agreed?" James cried.

"Look," she began, her voice low and full of warning, "I don't have time to explain the intricacies of why I said yes, alright? I had something more important to deal with at the time than accepting or declining some inconsequential date. Simply put - he got in my way and in order for me to remove him from it, I had to agree otherwise he was going to follow me and keep asking."

"Ungh!" Marlene groaned, putting a hand to her chest. "I love it when you put him in his place!"

"You'd think that's supposed to be my job," Lily said, effectively breaking the tension in the room as everyone chuckled.

Sirius looked up again, staring at the side of Elaina's face. Her eyes had that distant stare again as everyone went back to their previous activities. Seeming to sense his gaze, Elaina turned toward Sirius and their eyes _met _for the first time since they kissed. A heartbeat stretched into a lifetime as they stared at one another, every unintelligible thing they felt passing between them in only a moment.

That's when Sirius saw it.

Only a fraction of a flicker, there was no shimmering into existence, no slow reveal as he stared at her, the anger and hurt was simply _there_ in her eyes and was gone quicker than it appeared. And that's when Sirius knew he wasn't the only one having an adverse reaction to what happened between them. His blood quickened as she turned away from him, joining Marlene and Lily's conversation no trace of her distant demeanor remaining.

It no longer mattered to Sirius that Elaina was going on a date with Ian because he was not the only one who felt _something_ when they kissed.

* * *

**This is so disgracefully late and I am so humbly sorry! **

**I'm also incredibly sorry about the length of this one,  
it's so short and to be honest I'm not even sure I  
like this chapter _at all_. **

**Thank you everyone for your continued support  
and love for this story. I truly appreciate it, it  
means more to me than I could ever express :) **

**Does anyone even still read this? :/ **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED: 4/1/2013**


	24. A Date and a Departure

**Ch. 23 - A Date and a Departure**

_You are a laconic marksman. You leave me_  
_not dead but perpetually dying._

_I want my friends to heal me, succor me._  
_Instead, I get analysis._  
- Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib

_A date… I have a date today._ _**I** have a date today… I have a **date** today. I have a date **today**. _

I rolled my eyes at my reflection, perching my hands on the sink before hanging my head. No matter how many times I said it, the fact that I had a date did not quite feel like a reality. And quite frankly, this behavior was unacceptable - I was not some simpering fourth year that had been waiting for some uncouth boy I had a crush on to ask me to Hogsmeade. I was a rational young woman and I could handle this, damn it!

_Today, I am helping a pregnant, underage witch drop out of school and run away with the father of her baby. _Somehow that was the more believable situation to me. If the fact that I was helping Andromeda run away made more sense to me than the fact that I had a date today, it was probably a clue that I should reexamine my priorities.

I brought my head back up to meet my reflection wondering when exactly my life became so damn complicated. The eyes of my reflection softened, though I didn't recall the shift in my own features and half a frown twisted down the corner of my mouth. _It's about to get more complicated_, my reflection seemed to say. If I knew what was good for me, I wouldn't see Andromeda and Ted off - plausible deniability and all that - because when her parents came to the school, and undoubtedly they would, I could twist the truth around to suit me despite the fact that Narcissa and Bellatrix would say that they'd noticed me spending time with their sister in the weeks before her disappearance.

Even though I thought I was doing the right thing by helping Andromeda, I was crossing one of the most powerful pureblooded families in the wizarding world and the only thing I had to protect myself was… myself. My family's name wouldn't hold the weight it used to, I couldn't hide my actions behind my father's reputation or my mother's lineage like the spoiled pureblooded princess I used to be. I didn't possess James or Sirius' silver tongue because I got by on manipulating my own truths, if it was discovered that I played a part in helping Andromeda run away, the full weight of my actions would rest solely on my own shoulders for what was probably the first time in my life.

And that was a heavy burden because no matter how I picked apart the truth this time it always ended in a lie.

A knock on the bathroom door startled me out of my reverie violently, causing the various toiletries on the counter to skitter across the floor. "Elaina, are you okay?" It was Lily. "It's almost time for breakfast."

I took a deep breath as I crouched to pick up the things that had fallen, reaching out to unlock the door as well. "Yes, I'm fine," I replied, standing as the door slowly opened and Lily stepped into the bathroom with me.

She gave me a warm smile that didn't reach her eyes, and I knew suddenly that I was not going to enjoy the conversation that followed. Lily wasn't an idiot. When I had come back from the Room of Requirement on Sirius' birthday, I hadn't been in full control of my emotional faculties. Outrage, and shame, and hurt, and '_dear Merlin, why!_' had swirled around and around in dizzying patterns in my head while I tried to make sense of Sirius' parting words. I had stormed into the bathroom for another shower, needing to rid my skin of Sirius' smell and ghost of his hands on my body not realizing until I had reemerged that Lily had been sitting on her bed the entire time.

I'm pretty sure she figured out that something happened.

"Are you nervous about today?" Lily asked

Without giving much thought to her question I said, "A bit." Then I realized that she probably wasn't talking about seeing Andromeda and Ted off at the train station.

"You'll be fine," she said with a smile and smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles of my blouse. "You look lovely."

"Thanks," I sighed. "What are you and James doing today?"

Lily rolled her eyes and leaned back against the door as she slanted her arms over her chest. "Oh you know, the usual. Zonko's and Honeyduke's before heading to Three Broomsticks. God forbid the two of us actually spend any time alone on Hogsmeade trips."

I turned back to the mirror to give my eyeliner another pass as I asked, "Do you ever complain?"

Lily's reflection shook her head. "There's really no point, besides I don't mind as much as I say I do." Then her posture changed, Lily cast her gaze to the floor and her arms tightened over her chest. She was preparing herself for what she thought would be an unpleasant reaction to her next words. "Elaina, I wanted to talk to you about the night of Sirius' birthday, I haven't brought it up because I didn't think it was my place -"

I capped the liner with a bit more force than necessary, and the suddenness of the movement halted Lily's words - I didn't have time for this conversation. It was too risky for Andromeda and Ted to take the incoming train from King's Cross because it possessed visiting family members and the platform would be crowded with Hogwart's students so they were taking the first outbound train of the day. The first train of the day pulled out of Hogsmeade Station at 10am. While everyone was at breakfast, Andromeda, Ted and I would take the passage under the One-Eyed Witch into Hogsmeade and after the train departed, I would find something inconspicuous to do until I had to meet Ian at noon.

Leaning against the counter once again, I took a moment to prepare myself for something I would apologize for in a few days. "Then let it be, Lily," I breathed without raising my head, allowing a low warning to hedge my tone. "I appreciate yours and James' deep seeded concern for what the two of you must see as my weakened mental and emotional state -"

"That's not it!" she cut me off abruptly.

I sighed again, heavier this time, tightening my hands against the counter. Clearly my original, passive aggressive tactic was not going to work and to get out of talking about this, I was going to have to be a little more harsh.

I forced my jaw to clench, narrowing my eyes as I turned back to Lily. "Isn't it though?" I snapped. "I know James must have warned Sirius not to get too close to me and now you're about to do the same thing: let me save you the trouble," I said, turning my whole body to face her and leaning my hip against the counter before continuing, "I can handle myself better than most and I don't need protection or warnings. I got along just fine before this year and I will continue to do so after it!"

I didn't wait for her retort as I grabbed the handle of the door, forcing her to move or be hit with the door when I flung it open and stormed out, the perfect picture of annoyance. I ignored the curious glances of my dorm mates as I passed, only pausing to take a deep breath and quell the guilt I could already feel building when I was finally out of the Common Room.

I wondered if and when Lily would realize that I had just played her because while I couldn't lie, manipulation was a powerful tool in my personal arsenal.

-:-

By the time I entered the passage beneath the One-Eyed Witch, Andromeda and Ted were already there huddled by the light of his wand, both of them nearly trembling with nerves. She looked better though, I noted with relief, especially considering the emotional breakdown I had to talk her down from a few days ago. Andromeda had locked herself in the Ravenclaw sixth year girls' dorm bathroom in a hormonal puddle which is why the only other friend Andromeda trusted with her secret had to come get me from lunch, afraid that she would do something to herself or worse, the baby.

In the end, I had to force my way into the bathroom and bully her into calming down; not one of my shining moments - bullying a pregnant teenager, but eventually Andromeda saw reason.

Getting to the end of the tunnel and out of Honeyduke's cellar was fairly uneventful. The owner and his two employees were too occupied with the front of the store, preparing all their wares and displays for the barrage of Hogwart's students that would soon descend upon the small candy store to notice the figures that slipped out the back door. If anyone asked we simply said that our families came a little early to spend time in the village before we caught up with our younger cousins from the school, though no one paid us much attention being dressed in street clothes as we were.

"You didn't pack everything, right? Just the necessities?" I asked, once again reiterating the fact I'd been spewing since day one - don't pack everything you can carry.

"Yes," Ted said, motioning to the bag on his shoulder.

I nodded in approval. "And you do realize that magic is out of the question until you're both seventeen? As soon as your parents realize you're gone, they are going to rely on the Trace placed on underage wizards to find you."

"I know," Andromeda said with a nod.

"Okay," I breathed as we stepped into the train station, but it wasn't due for another half hour or so. "There's a small village within walking distance of the cottage, it's a nice place and they don't ask too many questions so one or both of you should be able to find a job. There is a clinic there as well, so you can go to your prenatal appointments. Uhm…"

Andromeda laid her hand on my arm, smiling gently at me and today were eyes were a warm honey color, her hair a soft chestnut. The gratitude in her expression made my chest tight knowing this was the last time I was going to see her for a very long time. Of all the things I thought I would feel when this day came, I didn't think sadness was going to be one of them. If anything I was sure I would be relived to have this weight off my shoulders, to have this secret out of my skin. I thought I would be happy to see her escape a life I couldn't. But I was _sad_ to see her go.

"We can handle it from here, Elaina, you've already done more for us than we can ever repay," Andromeda said, squeezing my arm in reassurance.

I shook my head and cleared out the tears in the back of my throat. "I have one more thing for you," I said, digging into the pocket of my coat and handing her a pouch that clinked with coin. "It's just in case, you can exchange some of it for muggle money at King's Cross…"

"There's at least fifty galleons here!" Ted exclaimed. He immediately took the pouch from Andromeda and tried to hand it back to me. "Absolutely not," he insisted, "you're already letting us stay in your grandfather's cottage rent free, we're not about to take money from you as well!"

Smiling, I put my arms behind my back so Ted couldn't force the money back into my hands. "If it makes you feel better, you can pay it back to me, I don't care when."

Slack-jawed, Ted turned to Andromeda. "Nobody is this nice," his whispered, and I could hear the warning in his tone. Irritatingly, I wondered where his suspicion was when I first offered to help.

"I am not doing this for _you_," I told him impatiently. "I am doing this for the innocent growing in her stomach who does not deserve the fallout your irresponsible actions would cause if you stayed!" I jerked my head in Andromeda's direction as I said, "And she knows that already. And trust me, if I were going to be betray you, the two of you wouldn't be standing here."

Whether it was shame or embarrassment that colored Ted's cheeks, I don't know, but he immediately looked away from me becoming very interested in his shoes. Andromeda shook her head with a roll of her brightened eyes, taking a step forward to hug me tightly. I felt a wet warmth run down the side of my neck where she had her face pressed, realizing that she had begun to cry. The vice grip in my chest tightened painfully, and I crushed her slender frame to mine, determined to keep my own emotions in check.

"I know it's not nearly adequate, but thank you _so much_, Elaina, for everything." Andromeda said empathically, her words muffled into my neck.

"Just… send me pictures, okay?" I asked.

Only then did she breathe a laugh. "You bet."

And in the distance, we heard the whistle of the train that would bring Ted and Andromeda one step closer to their new lives.

-:-

Ian was late. Twenty minutes late, actually, and I was beginning to wonder if he had stood me up which was doing nothing for my mood. Grumbling to myself, I buried my face into the cowl of my scarf against the cold, but I wasn't so unwound that I would resort to such an undignified act as pacing. _I should have known better_, I told myself as I tapped the toe of my boot against the ground.

My friends had already walked by me, Lily throwing me a dirty look before she turned to say something to James while Remus and Peter had sent a wave commenting that they missed me at breakfast. Then Sirius brought up the rear, shamelessly flirting with some girl I didn't recognize so she must not have been from our house. And he had the gall to look directly at me as he leaned in and whispered something that was surely lewd in the girl's ear, throwing me a triumphant smirk when she laughed at whatever he'd said. I rolled my eyes and stomped on the green monster inside of me that wanted to grab the girl by her hair and smash her face into the cobblestones… it was unladylike.

_I'm not standing here anymore__,_ I thought and turned only in time to hear a voice call out my name.

It took a moment to regain my self-control so there wasn't a scowl on my face when I turned around to face Ian. "You're late," I said, and was that relief in my tone?

To my irritation, Ian smiled charmingly at me as he came to a stop before me and I had to look up at him because even with the heels of my boots, Ian was still at least a head taller than me. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I was… well, you'll see," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "I've got something for you."

_And here comes the beginning of a cheesy date_, I thought with an inner sigh as I watched him reach into the inside pocket of his coat. But what he presented me with was not what I was expecting. From the utterly ecstatic expression that overcame his narrow face right down to the wide, self-satisfied grin, he had been counting on the fact that I was expecting something totally different.

"Huh," I said, reaching out to take the piece of purple paper that had been folded into a flower. I was expecting real flowers, a small box of chocolates, certainly not something done by hand. "You made this?"

Ian shrugged wide shoulders. "Kind of a hobby," he replied, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck nervously.

"Thank you, that was… sweet."

Again, a flash of white teeth as he smiled at me and offered me his hand. "Well, shall we?"

I let my fingers slide between his and even his hands dwarfed my own, but they were warmer than mine too, and so I took comfort in the warmth of his palm as he led me down the student-filled street. We didn't talk as we walked, so I took the silence to stare at him, not really caring if he caught me, trying to determine if he was really my type.

Ian was… interesting looking, and that's not to say that he was ugly by any means because he wasn't. His eyes were the color of malt whiskey, but they were framed by long lashes for a boy, and his nose was straight if a little wide in the nostrils. When he wasn't grinning, stretching his mouth across half his face, Ian's lips were thin though they curled in the corners as if he were perpetually laughing at an inside joke. His jaw wasn't pronounced, but narrow, lending to the overall thinness of his face and features. Finally, his broad shoulders gave way to a thin frame, and tapered into a trim waist with long legs that had a matching stride because for every one of his steps, I was taking almost two.

I didn't realize where he was leading me until I felt the terrain change under my feet. Ian had led us away from Hogsmeade, and I realized that we were walking into the copse of trees alongside the train station. And here he surprised me again because I was sure we would spend it in the village doing the usual things couples on dates did in Hogsmeade - the same thing people who _weren't_ on dates did.

When the trees finally cleared a bit, Ian pulled me ahead of him. "This is why I was late, it took me awhile to clear away the pine needles," he said extending his hand to the small clearing on the far side of the train station.

_This boy is not real_, I thought, taking in the large quilt nestled against the wall. On a day that Hogsmeade was teeming with people, Ian had managed to find a quiet place for our date. On top of the quilt there was a large thermos, two mugs and Ian's school bag though I wasn't sure what was in it. Once again, he pulled me along, lowering us to the ground and I was surprised to feel heat radiating from the blanket through my stockings.

"Heating Charm?" I inquired.

He nodded, releasing my hand to pick up the thermos. "Yeah. You like hot chocolate?" I nodded, accepting the mug when he handed it to me. After he filled his own mug, he reached into his school bag and pulled out a Wizard's chessboard. "Now I thought that we might make this game a little more interesting," he said, setting up the pieces.

"I'm not playing strip chess," I said flatly and without thought.

And without missing a beat, Ian said, "No, it's too chilly for that." But he threw me a mischievous smirk before continuing, "No. What I was thinking was that for every piece the other person captures, we have to answer a question asked by the other." He turned and dug into his bag again and I heard what sounded like plastic containers clatter against one another. "I did also bring something to eat if you get hungry, it's not much but I asked the house elves for some lunchmeats and cheese since I wasn't sure what you liked, I've got some cut up fruit, but unfortunately I didn't bring dessert."

I laid my hand on his knee, forcing him to bring his attention back to me and the soft smile I couldn't for the life of me force from my face. "You did enough, this is… more than I expected to be honest," I told him.

Ian and I played chess and we talked, sometimes getting caught up in conversation to the irritation of our pieces that were itching to destroy each other while the pieces that had already been destroyed had time to reconstruct themselves. He never asked me about the night my parents were killed or how I survived for which I was thankful, but he told me that both of his parents died when he was very young and that his grandparents raised him. I asked him where he learned the paper folding and he told me that he learned with his grandmother, that after she'd had a stroke a few years back the doctor told her that taking up origami would help the circulation and movements of her fingers. Ian said he'd been afraid to ask me out on a date after the way Sirius laid Danny out for almost drowning me, and he admitted that the reason for the simplicity of the date was because he didn't have very much money.

In return I answered all of his inquiries and I was surprised at how _easy_ it was to talk to him, but perhaps that was because Ian stayed away from sensitive topics others would barrel through. He never asked me about past relationships, stayed clear of my parents except on the topic of my mother and her quidditch career. He asked me if James and Sirius get into as much trouble as they would like everyone to believe, which entertained me to no end. We didn't talk about the spreading darkness in the world, choosing instead to enjoy the present and each other's company.

When the day was over I helped Ian pack up the quilt and I let him hold my hand again as we headed to the carriages, managing to find one that we could share with Marlene, Alice and Frank. I let him put his hand on my knee and as the carriage bumped along, I realized that I had actually _enjoyed _my date with Ian and that I hadn't given a single thought to the Awkward that was settling between me and Sirius the entire time I spent with Ian. And while he didn't illicit the same stomach tripping, heart stuttering feeling that Sirius did, I had actually come to _like_ Ian because he had managed to surprise me at every turn, and he was sweet and genuine.

So when he asked if I'd walk to his Common Room with him so he could drop off his stuff and said that he'd walk me back to Gryffindor Tower afterward, I agreed. When we reached Gryffindor Tower and Ian asked if it would be out of line if he kissed me, I said no, it wouldn't. He smiled, cupped my cheek and curved down while I rose to the balls of my feet and somewhere in the middle his lips brushed against mine.

I didn't feel anything.

* * *

**I fail at life, I know. **

**Thank you everyone that continues to  
support this story, it means the world to me!  
Next chapter, I'll start my habit of replying to reviews! **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/01/2013**


	25. Wordcraft

**Ch. 24 - Wordcraft**

_It is a kind of triumph**  
**To see them and to put them down_  
_As what they are. The inadequacy_  
_Of the living, animal language drives_  
_Us all to metaphor and an attempt_  
_To organize the spaces we think_  
_We have made occur between the words.  
-_ Approaches to How They Behave, W.S. Graham

It didn't take more than a few days for Andromeda's disappearance to become the hottest topic to burn through Hogwart's grapevine since James and Lily started finally dating. Fortunately enough, the people who connected Ted's disappearance to hers were few and far between, and because he was a Muggleborn and Andromeda was a Pureblood it was mostly delegated to 'coincidence'. Of course there were exceptions to every rule and the conspiracy theorists absolutely loved the idea that the two of them ran away together and would tell anyone who would listen – 'what a tragic love story,' they'd say. Despite the fact that Andromeda was pregnant, it appeared that she and Ted did a better job at keeping their relationship a secret than I originally gave them credit for because no one could really connect the two of them – they had different classes, different interests, different friends.

It made me wonder how they managed to make their relationship work. Then again, for all my realism, I am a believer in 'some things are meant to be'.

Bellatrix was fit to lose her grip on reality, trying to bully answers out of anyone who might have _any_ information on her sister. So I wasn't surprised when she cornered me in the girl's bathroom the day before her parents were to come to the school.

I was washing my hands when her reflection stepped in behind me. The two other girls that had been gossiping in the corner went immediately pale and all but ran from the bathroom upon seeing Bella enter. I sighed seeing the two girls flee, but it was the sort of thing that Bellatrix relished in, a reputation she carefully cultivated and lent to the rumor that she lived purely on dragon's blood and spite.

It wasn't that Bellatrix was intimidating because she wasn't. She was my height and was so thin that a stiff wind could have carried her away, there couldn't have been an inch of muscle on her frame. But Bella balanced on a precarious edge that made her _dangerous_, teetering between tolerably neurotic and psychotic. And it didn't take much for the balance to shift, at the drop of a hat Bellatrix could and would change. I'd seen it in hazing and teasing and jokes gone too far, that stopped being funny ten minutes before she decided she was bored. She was like the cat who played with the mouse, and grew bored only when the mouse resigned itself to its fate, and when she let the mouse limp away, let it think that it had survived something horrible – pounced upon it and ate it.

She said nothing for a long while, merely stared through me with her half-crazed leer, her lips pressed into a thin line. I immediately took notice of her wand, loosely held in her hand and searched the mirror's reflections for an exit. This bathroom was not in between two corridors and so only possessed one exit – and Bella was blocking it. If she was going to try to turn this confrontation into a duel, the only place for me to seek cover would be the stalls themselves.

I swallowed down the anxiety trying to crowd itself in my throat. "I see you're as communicative as ever, Bellatrix," I commented, dryly.

She blinked and her gaze refocused, the lights flickering in the dead, fathomless depths of her eyes so void of anything that it sent a chill down my spine. "Where is my sister, Elaina?" she demanded, her voice deadly calm.

Glancing at the clock hung above the door I replied, "I'd imagine she's at lunch right about now."

Immediately her wand came up and the fact that she leveled it with my throat wasn't lost on me. I kept my gaze level with her own, however, hoping that she wouldn't notice my hand slowly venturing to where I kept my wand. "I'm warning you," Bellatrix stated. "Do not try me, I_ know_ you had something to do with Andromeda running away, and you are going to tell me where she went."

I sucked in a breath through my teeth. "See, that is going to be a problem because I don't actually know where she is right now. My guess is as good as anyone else's."

Bellatrix made a noise that couldn't rightfully be called a laugh because it raised all the hair on my arms. "You're forgetting, Elaina, I know about your little curse. I can follow your word games, how you use semantics to your advantage to make a truth out of a lie. You may not know where she is _right this instant_, but you know where she was going."

The smile that sketched itself across my lips was unintentional. Because most people do not fully understand the nuances of speech and linguistics, they would have found my curse debilitating. A lot of times I did, but words were both my prison and the key to the lock. Wordcraft is a skill one hones just as one would any other physical skill - the more you practice the better you become. Simple things could turn a truth into a lie and vice versa, all it took was a change of tone, a turn of a phrase, an omission or inclusion - specifics that most people wouldn't think of in everyday conversation because they never had to.

"Your deductive skills amaze me," I replied, "but I'd really like to see you try to prove it because think about it, at this point it's your 'feeling' against my word."

Too easily, I slipped back into the manipulative person I used to be as I felt my upper lip curl and the corner of my mouth twist into an ironic smirk. Bellatrix must have thought I didn't have it in me anymore to pull a power play, she thought I had grown weak. But the ease with which it came back made my stomach roil, and I pushed the feeling away forcefully because at the moment it was the person I needed to be. I needed to be high and mighty Elaina Cochran who never backed down, never let herself be intimidated, I needed to exude that air of superiority otherwise Bellatrix would try to walk all over me. I had to make her believe I held all the cards.

"Who do you think they're going to believe, Bell?" I asked, innocently. "Your hunch, or Elaina Cochran who never lies because she _can't_."

"But how many people know that?" she countered. "You wouldn't risk exposing your little secret to protect Andromeda."

Ah. So there it was. It wasn't that Bellatrix _didn't_ think I wasn't the person I used to be, she thought I still was the selfish girl who only thought about protecting herself and what was best for her, who did things only if they benefitted her… Unfortunately, she wasn't entirely wrong. Before my parents died, I probably wouldn't have risked exposing my secret to protect Andromeda and Ted, and truthfully, I probably _still_ wouldn't… but Bellatrix didn't need to know that.

"I suppose I can see how you'd think that because you think you still know me," I told her and also realized maybe I was still more the person I used to be than I thought and again my stomach rolled over itself at the idea.

"People don't change," Bellatrix sneered, but she lowered her wand. "It doesn't matter anyway, my parents are coming tomorrow and I will make sure that one of the first people they question is you."

I couldn't help the dark chuckle that pressed itself through my lips. "We'll see how that goes for them because I told your sister that your parents wouldn't get anything out of me…" again the shift in my mouth as the wicked grin stretched itself across my face, "… and it hadn't been a lie."

_There_ was the sudden shift in Bellatrix, the whip-cord snap in the collapse of her features and the void of her eyes ignited. I had tipped the scale, pushed her too far. I had antagonized her the entire conversation, rubbing her nose in the fact that, yes, I did know where Andromeda was and no, I was not going to tell her. I played with fire and now, I was going to get burned.

Her wand came up faster than I anticipated so I had no time to block or repel whatever she threw at me. I felt the breeze of her spell shoot past my face, the sting along the side of my neck that shoved all the air out of my lungs. The slamming of the door followed her out and only then did I turn toward the mirror once again. I stared at the thin red line on the side of my neck, watching as blood bubbled in the corner and then slid down to my clavicle in a thin rivulet.

I huffed a heavy sigh, catching myself on the sink before my knees gave out in relief because knowing what Bellatrix _could_ have done, I got off easy. It was a warning.

**-:- **

Unfortunately for me, my summons to the Headmaster's office came late the next day just before Quidditch practice. I thought James was going to have a conniption but what could I do?

"James, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. I held up the piece of parchment that had flown into the locker room to find me and said, "I have to go, I can't just send Dumbledore a reply and say _'Sorry, James is going to throw a tantrum I can't come right now, can we reschedule?'_."

"Our first match against Slytherin is _this weekend!_" he cried.

"I am aware of that," I answered, exasperated – James had only been reminding the entire team every day for the last week. Honestly if he would just let me leave, I could've probably been back before the end of practice. "We're ready," I added.

James pulled a hand through his hair and made a frustrated sound that was halfway between a groan and sigh. He turned on the spot and dug around in his Quidditch bag, pulled out a small stack of parchment and handed them to me. "If you can't be here, then your assignment is to look over these plays," he said in his most convincing 'captain' voice.

I tried not to roll my eyes as I accepted the stack not bothering to tell him that I knew the damn plays backwards, forwards and could probably rewrite them in my sleep. James turned away and shouted, "Alright! The rest of you on the pitch!"

I turned my back on the locker room and began unbuckling my kit, and I only knew Sirius was still in the room because, as odd as it sounds, I _felt_ him there behind me. I knew the feel of him in the air around me, the prickling of my senses at his proximity. I knew the cadence of his breathing and the sounds of his movements were as familiar to me as my own.

When did I become so acutely _aware_ of him?

"Does you going to Dumbledore's office have something to do with Andromeda?" he asked without preamble.

"Yes, it does," I admitted, shoving my things into my bag hoping that he couldn't see the sudden agitation in my movements.

My stomach was achingly empty all of a sudden despite the fact that I had eaten before practice, and my heart was already beating rapidly against my ribs using them like a xylophone. I may have been able to bluff my way through the confrontation with Bellatrix, but this was going to be an entirely different chess game. I would have to tread very carefully, consider every word I said because I couldn't clam up, it would only make me look guilty. Likely, my only saving grace was going to be that Dumbledore was there as well.

"Why would my aunt and uncle think you know something?" Sirius wondered.

"_Bellatrix_ thinks I know something," I replied, calmly.

Sirius took four steps until he was standing at my side. "Do you?"

With an irritated sigh, I threw the last piece of my equipment into the bag and turned to face him, my hands planting themselves on my hips. "Does it matter?" I countered, irritably. "Andromeda is gone and it is going to take a lot more than questioning people she'd been seen associating with to bring her back."

Realization dawned in his eyes and he blinked at me in what appeared to be disbelief. He connected the pieces: my strange behavior, my secretiveness recently, associating with Andromeda's friends. "You helped her run away, didn't you? You don't just know something, you actually _helped _her." And was that awe in his voice?

I clenched my jaw, turning away from him to finish stuffing everything into my Quidditch bag and zip it up. When it came to Sirius, I wouldn't spin this a different way, I couldn't bring myself to, not after all he and James have done for me. Sirius' hand gripped my bicep and I sucked in a harsh breath – we hadn't so much as brushed shoulders since his birthday. It amazed me that even at a time like this even just Sirius' touch kindled the heat in the pit of my stomach.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have helped," he hissed, his fingers unconsciously tightening on my arm. "You wouldn't be facing this alone."

My knees threatened to buckle under the concern hedging his tone. He wasn't angry with me as I had originally thought he would be, Sirius was concerned that I had shouldered the burden of helping Andromeda by myself. He didn't know the punishment I might have been facing if his aunt and uncle figured it out and it _scared_ him. I couldn't have out rightly asked for Sirius' help anyway, not without him learning about Andromeda's pregnancy because he would have wanted to know why she _and_ Ted were running away.

"I don't always need yours or James' help, Sirius," I replied, gently.

His hand left my arm, fingertips trailing up to my shoulder, the curve of my neck and brushing lightly over my cheekbone. Unconsciously, I leaned into his hand realizing just how much I missed his touch, however innocent it had been before his birthday. The small affections he showed me, the simple brush of his hands against mine, the closeness and warmth of him sitting beside me – all things I hadn't realized I took comfort in until they were no longer there.

"Yes, you do," he said, but the light tone of his voice told me that he was trying to tease me.

I shook my head, my hair falling around my face, brushing against where his hand still rested against my cheek. "Andromeda didn't want your help, she didn't even want _my_ help," I told him, "but she also knew that she couldn't do it on her own."

Sirius leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine and on reflex I closed my eyes. "You don't always have to do everything on your own, either, you know."

My heart was in my throat now for an entirely different reason. I could feel Sirius shifting closer to me and the fierceness with which I wanted to reciprocate terrified me and so I kept my hands firmly at my sides. His face inched closer to mine, I opened my eyes as his flutter closed and I could taste his every exhale.

My hand came up and just like last time, rested against his chest, but this time there was a gentle push that halted him in his tracks. "Sirius," I breathed. His eyes opened, met mine and once again I could feel the fault line in my chest that I was about to rupture further. I swallowed down the tightness I could feel forming in my throat, the tears that tried to rise. "I'm with Ian now," I reminded him.

I expected walls to slam up, I expected him to shut down. There should have been an immediate distance between us, an impassable chasm wedged there with the two of us on either side. Anything but for him to remain so close to me, crowded together against the lockers and determination solidifying in his gaze.

Sirius shook his head. "I don't care," he said, and tried to close the distance once again but my hand was still on his chest, a subtle but determined stopping power.

I titled my head just out of his reach so he kissed air. Merlin, why did he have to make this so _difficult?_ "I do," I whispered because if I raised my voice any higher, it would crack, my façade would fall and Sirius would realize just how little he had to push further for his lips to brand me as his. "You should get out on the pitch before James comes looking for you."

I stepped away, out of his arms, stomping on the rebellious part of me that whispered it was so much warmer in the circle of Sirius' arms. Without a word, I grabbed my bag and made for the door, but Sirius' voice stopped me. I almost feared what I'd see when I turned around to look at him, if the wounded look he'd give me would demolish the bit of defense I'd gathered and I'd cross the room, throwing myself into his arms and beg him to let me be his because I was apparently a fool.

But he just looked at me as if I hadn't been in his arms moments before and asked, "Is she happy? Andromeda, is she happy?"

I nodded. "Yes, I think she really is."

Then, Sirius gave me a tight, bitter smile that triggered the earthquake in my chest, pulling apart the fault line on my heart. I fisted my hands against their shaking as he said, "At least somebody is."

And as I left the locker room, I couldn't help but wonder if it shouldn't have been James warning Sirius to stay away from me. I wondered if instead, it should have been the other way around – James warning _me_ to stay away from Sirius because so far, he was the one getting hurt.

**-:-**

I forced myself to forget Sirius as I climbed the stairs to Dumbledore's office. It would not do me any good to be distracted by thoughts of him as I willingly trudged into the dragon's lair. I compartmentalized, put Sirius and everything I felt for him and everything that had happened between us in a box in the back of my mind. Just as my father had taught me, I built a mental fortress, putting everything I didn't want anyone to see or know behind locks and chains, heavy doors and metaphorical parapets of stone and steel. As long as they didn't make me take Veritaserum, I was protected against any incursion on my mind.

"Enter." Dumbledore's voice echoed through the wooden door when I knocked. I pushed open the door and stepped inside just as the Headmaster was rising from his chair to greet me. "Ah, Miss Cochran! It took you quite a bit longer than I expected."

I nodded, ignoring the two imposing figures standing before his desk. "I apologize, Professor, Gryffindor's first Quidditch match is this weekend and James was not pleased that I had to leave practice." A leading half-truth, even now, luring them into the line of thought that it was James and his consternation that kept me.

A smile pulled at Dumbledore's mouth. "No, I imagine he wasn't." I hedged closer refusing to allow my gaze to linger overlong on Andromeda's parents, up the few steps to stand before Dumbledore's desk. "You are aware no doubt of young Miss Black's recent disappearance?"

I nodded, coming to a stop. "I am."

Mr. and Mrs. Cygnus Black were not pleasant people to be around. Both of them had that stereotypical, aristocratic demeanor as if they were perpetually looking down their nose at everything. Emotions were a fairly useless thing to people like them so it surprised me to see the patches of color marring Mrs. Black's pale cheeks, and the angry tightness around Mr. Black's mouth. And maybe there was a time when Mrs. Black was beautiful and Mr. Black was handsome, but bitterness and arrogance had long ago smothered it in awash of scrutinizing glares and tight lipped, condescending smiles.

"Our eldest daughter seems to be of a mind that you had something to do with it," Mrs. Black said, her tone like cold steel.

_Do not show fear, _I told myself. I made a show of rolling my eyes, every bit the moody teenager they surely thought I was. "Of course she is. And tell me, Mrs. Black, is your eldest daughter known for her honesty? From what I have heard Bellatrix has been of a mind that _everyone_ has had something to do with Andromeda's disappearance, just ask Alianne Rosenthal whom I'm sure you know because she was Andromeda's best friend, she appeared quite shaken up after a conversation with Bellatrix."

Mrs. Black's face blanched unattractively. "How dare you! Are you implying that Bellatrix made it up?"

_How perceptive of you to notice_, I thought. "All I am saying is that perhaps going on Bellatrix's word alone is a bit far-fetched seeing as she has been desperate to pin her sister's disappearance on someone. And has no one given pause to the idea that perhaps Andromeda has run away of her own accord?" I said.

"She is only sixteen," Mr. Black grumbled.

I granted him a nod of my head as I turned to him. "And a very capable witch from what I know."

Dumbledore had yet to say anything and had retaken his seat behind the desk. If I hadn't known any better, I would have said that my headmaster was _amused_ by this entire situation, casting his twinkling eyes over his steeped hands as Andromeda's parents tried to wring a confession out of me. The fact that he had yet to intervene was almost a comfort, it meant that he thought I was holding my own fairly well so far.

"Bellatrix has also informed us that you have grown rather close with my nephew, Sirius, whom I'm sure you're aware also ran away from home seeing as the two of you are living with the same family," Mrs. Black said next. "It is a logical conclusion to think that Sirius poisoned Andromeda's mind against her family; the two of them were close before he ran away."

I turned my attention back to Dumbledore, slanting my arms over my chest as I shifted my weight onto my back leg. "Is that to be the damning evidence against me? Being friends with another runaway member of their family?" I didn't wait for the Headmaster to answer as I faced Andromeda's parents again. "If you are so certain that Sirius had something to do with Andromeda running away, as I'm sure Bellatrix is also, then summon him here as well. But I'm sure he will have as much knowledge as to Andromeda's whereabouts as the next person you drag up here."

Just like Bellatrix, something in Mrs. Black lost all of her tightly coiled decorum and _snapped_. She lunged forward, gripping me by the shoulders forcefully, the rounded tips of her nails digging into the backs of my shoulders. She brought her face inches from mine, her expression twisted into something hideous. "_Where is my daughter!?_" she cried giving me a shake.

"Enough!" Dumbledore shouted, having risen from his seat as Mr. Black wrestled his wife away from me. That was unexpected to say the least so the shuddering breath I released was understandable, so too was the jelly feeling in my legs. Apparently crazy ran in the family.

"I agreed to let you question Miss Cochran as to the whereabouts of your daughter, but I cannot abide by you manhandling my students." Dumbledore turned to me then and leveled me with a poignant stare as he asked, "Miss Cochran, do you know where Miss Black is right now?"

If my father hadn't taught me better, my eyes would have widened, but the shock still tightened my throat. I should have known better! There was not a damn thing that went on inside the castle that Dumbledore was not aware of – he _knew_ I helped Andromeda run away, and probably knew _why_ as well. And for a second time he was coming to my aid, this time giving me the lying out through the simple semantics of his wording.

I swallowed heavily. "No. I don't."

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, Elaina, you may return to Quidditch practice if you so desire, and give Mr. Potter my apologies for stealing you away."

"Thank you, professor."

Mrs. Black's outraged shriek followed me out the door, "She's _lying!_"

And Dumbledore's answer carried through the air as I reached the staircase, "I assure you, Mrs. Black, that she was not."

* * *

**I actually quite like how this chapter turned out. Hm.  
This was supposed to be out yesterday  
but my boyfriend demanded that I spend some time  
with him. And it would have been out sooner than that buuut...**

**my laptop _died_. I had to buy a new one and then there was  
the issue of my old laptop having Vista and the new one has  
Windows 7 and so none of my documents were compatible. **

**And this whole week has been nothing but awful! Back and  
forth to the hospital for my boyfriend's grandmother who's  
cancer has spread to her brain and then I'm _really really  
_bad at comfort/sympathy/herecryonmyshoulder. **

**I'm whining, I know. Sorry. :/ **

**Anyway, thank you to Marika, angelvboo,  
BleedinLuva1123, Mackenzie Kelley, Chloe Black,  
112233, and AuntMo for leaving me  
wonderful reviews last chapter! :) **

**See you next chapter! Review?**

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/3/2013**


	26. Divide

**Ch. 25 – Divide**

_After every war  
someone has to clean up.  
Things won't  
straighten themselves up, after all.  
_- The End and the Beginning, Wislawa Szymborska

After leaving the Headmaster's office, I decided not to go back to Quidditch practice. Instead, as per James' instructions, I headed to the library to 'study' our plays. As was expected of a weekday, the library was full of students hunched over books and parchment while more still were huddled together whispering between themselves, giggling occasionally and earning themselves disapproving looks from the librarian.

I passed the main study tables, choosing a more secluded table usually reserved for private tutoring, housed between two bookshelves. Tossing the stack of plays onto the table, I plopped into the chair with a heavy sigh, slouching uncharacteristically, allowing my body language to show the wear stress and anxiety was beginning to have on me. I closed my eyes, tilting my head to rest against the back of my chair for a moment. It was no surprise that after the meeting in the Headmaster's office that my nerves were shot to hell; I could still see the psychotic glaze in Mrs. Black's eyes.

What did surprise me was the tangled ball of guilt that was beginning to unweave itself in my gut. If I did my job as well as I seemed to, Bellatrix would be the one facing the fallout from my meeting with her parents when my only real intention had been to plant a seed of doubt as to my involvement with Andromeda's disappearance. Her parents would think that Bella had falsely accused me even though I had confirmed her suspicions myself, and with Dumbledore's assurance her parents probably wouldn't believe a word she said to try and right the situation. It also occurred to me that the reason Bellatrix had been so desperate to find out who helped Andromeda run away was probably because her parents were holding her responsible for it, given that she is the eldest.

None of it meant good things for me, I realized, having all but painted a target on my back for Bellatrix. Because I had a vague idea how Bellatrix thought, how she connected dots, I knew that whatever repercussions blew back onto her she would see as my fault. I had helped Andromeda run away, and despite the fact that she had used some questionable methods to ferret information out of people, I had managed to weasel my way out of the confrontation with her parents, all the while making _Bellatrix_ seem the liar and getting away all but scot-free. She would think I did it all on purpose, that I did what I did, said what I said to get a perverse delight out of whatever punishment her parents would dole out; a payback, perhaps, for having the gall to confront me in the first place…

Because that's what the old Elaina would have done. The old Elaina would have gone into that meeting _consciously_ aware of the fact that she was going to grab the situation by the horns and seize control of it all so that she could cause Bellatrix a little bit of strife. And the old Elaina would have laughed in the face of whatever pathetic retribution Bella thought of in return. Every bit the conniving Slytherin I should have been.

"I thought that was you."

My reflexes jolted to life, darting me up in my chair and bringing my wand level with the person standing at the opposite side of my table. But it was only Ian, his arms raised slightly in surrender and his eyes wide. And as I lowered my wand, I couldn't help the thought that this boy had no idea what he was getting into by dating me.

"You _cannot_ sneak up on me like that," I told him, managing to keep the harshness from my voice.

A realization and understanding saddened his expression. "_Oh_. I'm sorry, I thought you would've heard me coming over."

I shook my head, taking a deep breath to smother the moment of panic that had quickened my blood. "It's okay," I said. Pulling one of the empty chairs closer to me, I motioned for Ian to sit down and said, "Well, come on, keep me company as long as you're here."

He smiled, all too eager to comply and took the chair I had pulled over. Ian put his bag on the table then patted his thighs, a signal for me to turn my body toward him and throw my legs over his lap. I did, resting my elbow on the table and my head against my open palm. I watched him as he reached into his bag and pulled out whatever he had been studying before he decided to seek me out, opening his text to the right page, then turned his attention back to me.

"I thought you were at Quidditch?" Ian asked.

I nodded. "I was but I got a summons to Dumbledore's office just before we started and James said that if I couldn't be at practice I had to study our plays," I answered, motioning to the small stack of parchment on the table.

"Ah, well that explains how attractive you look right now," he teased, pulling on the leg of the athletic pants I usually wore under my Quidditch kit. "What was the summons for?"

Shaking my head, I reached for one of our plays and pulled it toward me. "Bellatrix thought I had something to do with Andromeda disappearing and her parents came to the school today."

Beside me Ian scoffed, "She really thought that? Unbelievable."

Something inside of me laughed, thoroughly entertained with Ian's naiveté where I was concerned. But if I were honest with myself, it was a relief of sorts, knowing that Ian didn't know the things that Sirius, Evan or even James knew about me. Unlike Sirius, who knew I had the capacity and know-how to help Andromeda, the idea of me actually doing so was inconceivable to Ian. With Ian, I could pretend to be normal, with no extraneous issues to influence my actions or decisions.

"Bellatrix was _very_ convinced," I told him, hiding my smile.

Ian and I sat in amicable silence while he worked on a Herbology essay and I looked over our Quidditch plays, and occasionally he would ask me if something sounded right, or if his facts were correct. And every once in a while his hand would drift beneath the table to rest on my thigh, or he would steal my hand and press his lips to the back of it, earning him a smile from me or a kiss on the back of his hand in return.

I liked spending time with Ian, I was _comfortable_ with him because the weight of the things Sirius made me feel terrified me; things Evan had _never_ been able to make me feel. But with Ian it was simple: he liked me and I liked him. I told myself that just because Ian didn't make me feel like there was a blaze burning through my veins, it didn't mean I felt nothing for him. So I focused on the small things – I liked the way he held my hand, the way his eyes lit up whenever he saw me, the slow sweetness when he kissed me.

Of course I knew what it all really came down to – Ian couldn't hurt me, he was the safe choice. I could take Ian entirely at face value whereas there were facets of Sirius that I didn't fully understand, that I might never understand. But I told myself that I didn't need the hands shaking, rapid heartbeat, short of breath, swallow my tongue emotions that Sirius evoked. I told myself that after everything I'd been through what I needed was simplicity, something that wouldn't take me by surprise when I least expected it to… and it was almost enough.

I don't know how long Ian and I were in that little niche, but I'd had time to start new copies of the Quidditch plays because James' handwriting was awful, finishing about half of them when one of the last people I wanted to see found us.

"Aw! Well aren't the two of you just fucking adorable?" Evan sneered, leaning against one of the bookshelves.

Ian went tense beside me, narrowing his eyes into a glare. "What do you want, Rosier?" he demanded, his voice a low and, admittedly sexy, rumble.

"I need a word with your girlfriend," Evan said, nodding to me. "_Alone_, if you don't mind."

I laid my hand on Ian's arm, giving it a squeeze. Nodding, I said, "Go, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked and his eyebrows pulled together.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Ian gathered his things unsurely, continually darting his gaze between me and Evan. Before he left, Ian stooped to press a light kiss to my lips and there was triumph in his eyes when he saw that Evan had blanched unattractively, the tightness of his jaw visible. He promised that he'd catch up with me later before sweeping out of the niche and Evan waited until Ian's footsteps had faded before speaking again.

"Nice boy toy you have there," he said.

With a roll of my eyes, I gathered the two stacks of Quidditch plays and stood up, rounding to the other side of the table. "You have two minutes," I informed him.

"To the point I see," he chuckled. "So, how exactly did you convince Bellatrix's parents you had nothing to do with Andromeda disappearing?"

A derisive snort escaped me as I leaned back against the edge of the table, slating my arms over my chest. "So Bellatrix told you did she? I'm not surprised. I am surprised that you're bothering to ask me that though, I was always good at getting out of trouble, barring my inability to lie."

"So it was deflection and redirection, then; did I get that right? A guilty person's sword and shield…" He sighed, leveling me with a poignant stare. "You're playing with fire, you know," Evan then said quietly, "and Bella is fit to see you burn."

I felt an eyebrow arch up in shock. "Is that concern I hear in your voice, Evan? I'm touched."

Once again, Evan's jaw clenched, he pushed himself away from the bookshelf, devoured the space between us, crowding me against the table. He put his hands on either side of my hips and I leaned back so I wasn't quite so close to him, though our hips were pressed against one another. It was strange really, once upon a time, this sort of thing was considered foreplay for Evan and I.

_Best not to think about that_, I told myself with a shake.

"This isn't a game, Elaina," Evan hissed.

"Thirty seconds," I deadpanned, refusing to allow any kind of emotion flicker across my face.

"I'm just warning you, Bellatrix is going to be on the war path," Evan said. "You should watch your back, you're not always going to have your new friends to protect you."

I scoffed, "You should know better than anyone that I don't need their protection, least of all from Bellatrix. She does not scare me."

A wicked grin then stretched itself across Evan's lips, darkening his eyes with something that I couldn't understand, like he knew something I didn't. "We'll see."

Evan left then, shoving himself away from me before storming away. And I could have sworn that my heart hit the floor when I turned back around, slumping into one of the chairs, my mind reeling to figure out a solution to the problem I, all at once, found myself facing.

Suddenly, everything became so much clearer as I looked at the empty table where James' Quidditch plays had previously been.

**-:- **

I managed to recreate the Quidditch plays that Evan stole, giving them back to James the next day. When he asked why I rewrote them I simply told him that his handwriting was atrocious. A simple fact that had nothing to do with Evan stealing the plays and an excuse that he accepted with such ease that it almost made me sick. How do I explain to one of my best friends that I let the Quidditch plays he worked so hard on get stolen? I knew what Evan was going to do with them – use them to beat Gryffindor in our first match, and although I should have seen the ulterior motive, I didn't until it was too late.

I completely threw myself into that match, changing our plays at the last second much to James' irritation, ignoring his threats that he'd throw me out of the game. But because I knew that the Slytherin team knew our plays, it was my job to keep them on their toes. At one point, I'd needed my shoulder shoved back into its socket by the Medi-witch, having taken a bludger for Jeremy that would have taken him out of the game. It had to look like we at least put up a fight and every time James raged, or wondered how they were countering us so well, I think some part of me died a little knowing that I had unwittingly played a part in it all.

After a four hour match, we lost. Of course we lost! No matter how good we are it's a little difficult to win a match when your opponent knows every move you were planning to use against them. But the loss wasn't as bad as it could have been: 270, Slytherin – 250, Gryffindor, and that was only because Vesper had managed to catch the snitch. I couldn't bring myself to look at James or Sirius as we flew down after the game to shake hands with our rivals. The sick feeling in my stomach was writhing like a coil snakes threatening to double me over right there on the pitch.

Every single member of the Slytherin team wore deviant smiles as they shook our hands, and I held my breath waiting for the moment to pass. My heart beat so hard against the basket of my ribs that it _hurt_ and I could feel that my face was hot, but thankfully that could be accounted to the Quidditch match we'd just played. Rudolphus and James shook hands without incident, though from James' clenched jaw I'm sure he wanted to do nothing more than cave in Rudolphus' smug expression, not that I blamed him. Sirius and Regulus absolutely refused to acknowledge each other, passing over the other as though not even a ghost stood in their place.

And then it was over and I was releasing the tense breath I held. But as my team and I turned to walk away, Rudolphus called out, "Oh wait! I nearly forgot!"

My heart stopped, turning slowly with my team as Rodolphus walked back toward us. "I nearly forgot," he said again, reaching inside his Quidditch kit. "We owe this win to you, Elaina, thanks for all your help."

And then he tossed the Quidditch plays Evan had stolen at us, letting them be swept up by the chilly November wind. Shock deafened me, I think because I couldn't hear anything or register what was going on around me expect for the pieces of parchment tumbling around in the grass. But I knew everything around me was in an uproar, I could feel myself being jostled as my teammates tried to catch the papers. And then someone shoved me hard, and it was like the volume that been turned all the way up. Everyone around me was shouting, demanding to know what the hell I had been thinking.

I tried to defend myself, to tell them that Evan had stolen the plays from me because it was true! But none of them knew I couldn't lie, which I realized is _exactly_ what Evan had been banking on – that I wouldn't expose my secret to prove myself. And what I hated the most was that he was right, even after all this time Evan was still right! No matter what I said, I still looked guilty and like a liar because Evan may have stolen them, but I paved the way for the Slytherin team to use our plays, going so far as to rewrite them instead of working to get them back, but I hadn't known Rodolphus had planned to make it seem like I _helped_ them win.

None of it mattered. My protests fell on deaf ears until James pushed his way through the team and stood before me, stone faced, hardened against me and anything I had to say. Sirius stood beside him, the disgusted expression on his face twisting my heart as the storm clouds of rage and betrayal churned in his eyes.

_No, no, no! _This couldn't be happening! I had worked so hard to gain Sirius and James' trust and friendship and because of one stupid miscalculation on my part I was going to lose it all.

"James, I - " I started, but my voice cracked.

"Save it," he spat, and if at all possible his expression knotted even further. "Just tell me how it feels betraying the last people who were on your side, Elaina."

No words. Only the angry tears that gathered in my eyes and the uncomfortable tightness in my chest and throat that I could hardly breathe around. I could only shrug. "You're not going to believe me anyway."

"Kind of difficult to when the evidence is _right fucking in front of me!_" James shouted, holding the collected plays in his hand. "You were the last one to have the damn plays, so how did Rodolphus end up with them?"

"Evan stole them!" I countered, and begging whatever powers that be that the absolute truth of the statement rang through my tone.

"Then why rewrite them!? Why not just tell us that before this happened!?"

Because I hadn't thought they were going to make it look like I actively helped them. I was planning to get the plays back after the match, by my own means. I was going to tell Evan, fine, he'd won, he'd proven his point, just give back the plays he took. I should've _ known_ this was how Evan planned to use the plays, to put a divide between me, James and Sirius because hadn't he said that I wouldn't always have them to protect me?

James took my silence as my answer. "That's what I thought," he sneered. "I don't think I need to say it, but you're _off_ the team, Elaina."

The team turned their backs on me, and I shoved through them, scrambling, pawing for Sirius' arm. Surely he wouldn't believe I did this?

"Sirius, please! You know I didn't do this!" I begged him, aware that my fingers were digging into his arm.

The blank look he gave me made me feel like there was a ball of ice in my stomach. "I don't know what to think right now, Elaina. I held you with such high regard, I even thought I…" he shook his head and the walls slammed up once again. "Let go of me."

It was his tone that made me comply, the threat that seeped into his words, the unspoken 'or else'. I watched him walk away, trying desperately to catch my breath. Shaking hands rose to cover my face and instead of letting myself break down into tears, I screamed.

* * *

**Ohh man, this chapter!  
This chapter was such a doosey to write especially  
because I didn't actually WANT to write it. I've known this  
was going to happen ever since I decided that Elaina was going  
to be on quidditch team, I just dreaded it actually getting here. :/**

**Uhm, thank you to Lizaluvsdoggies, BleedinLuva1123,  
, ****XxSiriuslyinluvxX, TheGirlWithTheKnives,  
and my "Guest" who've left me great reviews. Thanks you guys! :)**

**Review?**

**-(gxr)-**

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/1/2013**


	27. Desperate

**Ch. 26 – Desperate**

_How shall the heart be reconciled  
to its feast of losses?  
In a rising wind  
the manic dust of my friends,  
those who fell along the way,  
bitterly stings my face  
_- The Layers, Stanley Kunit

Before Voldemort, before Grindelwald, before every dark wizard of note in modern times, there was a Dark Mistress. Morgana le Fay. She was known by many different names and was many things to many people in her time, but to those who served under her, she was their Mistress. Rumored to be the half-sister of King Arthur, she sought to overthrow his rule only to be thwarted again and again by Merlin, her once mentor. Unlike Voldemort, Morgana was not a purist when it came to her followers, she accepted the outcasts of the magical world, nurtured the unusual magical talents of witches and wizards to her advantage because after all: the most loyal of followers are those only their leader accepts, out-casted by society.

Both sides of my family could trace their lineage to those who served under Morgana le Fay.

That summer when my father told me to read my family's history, I understood why Voldemort so fiercely wanted my family as Death Eaters. The Dark Lord counted on my family's legacy to lead us to join him because throughout history whenever a new dark wizard rose to power, my family joined them and proved to be valuable assets. Voldemort also wanted the unusual trait that Morgana le Fay nurtured in my mother's ancestors to the point that it became almost a genetic marker in the Van Buren bloodline…

Dark magic is _difficult_. It takes a very powerful wizard to master even the most basic of dark spells because they are all extremely mentally, emotionally and physically taxing. Dark magic is a parasite, it demands so much of a wizard that over time it breaks them down in every conceivable way – even to the point of insanity. It has also been proven that dark magic has an addicting quality to it, that it can give the caster such a rush and a "high", if you will, that cannot be achieved through any other means. For whatever reason that mother nature decided, whatever set of genetic material that combined somewhere in my mother's ancestry to be passed down through her blood, the Van Buren line has always had an affinity for dark magic, it always came easier to my mother's family and that would include me. It does not take the same toll on Van Buren's as it would for another wizard – my mother could have cast a Killing Curse with a genuine smile on her face.

_You can't play the saint when you're meant to be the sinner. _

In the grand scheme of things, it was not an overly useful skill to someone who would never dabble in the dark arts, but to Voldemort who viewed his followers as nothing more than tools, it meant that he could use me or my mother for far longer before the dark magic began to take its toll on our bodies and minds. It made _us as tools_ valuable.

However, this trait was not always an advantage, and it did have its pitfalls – mainly the fact of being more susceptible to the unintentional use of magic when angered or under duress.

Now, extremes of emotions are dangerous for anybody because no matter the emotion, whether fury or exaltation, you're not thinking clearly for that amount of time. Most people can take a step back from themselves, realize they need to reign in their galloping emotions, and force themselves to calm down. Other people get swept up in the mad, impassioned whirlwind of their emotions and the only way for those people to come down from the rush is ride out the storm. And who these people are changes depending on the circumstances at hand. But the fact remains that uncontrollable emotions are dangerous because a person is more likely to make a rash decision and do something they are going to regret.

This is also the same for those with magic in their blood. At its most base, magic is uncontrollable and many spells require a certain mindset for them to be cast correctly. Consider: a Patronus Charm requires that the caster summons a happy memory that fills their entire being, while any of the Unforgivable Curses require that the caster truly desires to do another person harm. If the caster of any of those spells does not feel the required emotion(s) in their entirety, the spells may backfire or not work at all.

But because a witch or wizard does not necessarily require a wand to cast a spell, extremes of emotion are even _more_ dangerous for those with magical blood. There are incidents that have been used for case studies in the Department of Mysteries and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement where a witch or wizard has unintentionally killed, or mortally wounded, another without use of a wand simply because they were _so enraged_. In some cases, because there was no use of a wand to dilute the power, the force of the magic behind the incident was astounding. Scary almost, that a witch or wizard could actually access that amount of power whether intentionally or not.

It was one of the many reasons my father began my lessons, he wanted me in control of my emotions, myself and my magic at all times. He began teaching me how to defend myself because my father needed me to understand just what would happen to me if Voldemort or _any_ dark wizard with ill intentions ever got their hands on me or my mother. He wanted me to understand that I would be used, abused and finally discarded when I had outlived my usefulness.

He wanted me to be prepared – a survivor instead of a victim.

**-:-**

Standing alone on the Quidditch pitch with the shuffling of the entire school as they filed out of the stands filling the air, I didn't feel like a survivor. I felt like a victim and the realization that it was no one's fault but my own only rubbed salt in the wound. I had probably just lost two people who had become two of the most important people in my life all because of my stubborn pride. I thought I was smarter than this, that I knew better than to play so perfectly into someone's game. But I wasn't and I had, and in front of a crowd of a thousand people to boot.

And it would go beyond being kicked off the Quidditch team because it was an accusation of cheating. In a few days I knew I would find myself once again standing in Dumbledore's office with McGonagall and probably Derek as well, explaining what happened. James would probably be there as well since he was my captain and because the professors knew that I couldn't lie, they would have no choice but to exonerate me, give me the choice to rejoin the team if I wanted. With all the evidence mounted against me, James would surely throw a snit fit, demand to know how the professors could possibly think I was innocent… and I would have to tell him.

My knees hit the ground, I dug my fingers into the grass and dirt to try to keep myself from falling off the world, but I refused to cry. Anger was blooming in the center of my chest, the warmth of it spreading through my veins, drying the corners of my eyes. I could feel shaking, but I couldn't tell if _I_ was shaking, or if the ground beneath me was shaking because I was about to crack it unintentionally. This was not a position I knew how to play, I have never been the victim.

I shook my head fiercely, willing myself to gain control of my emotions, forcing my vision to stop swimming. No. I was not a victim and I was not going to take this laying down.

I pushed myself to my feet, propelled by my anger as I stormed into the locker rooms making a point to ignore the murmuring from the Gryffindor locker room as I passed. I made my way around the corner and to the end of the hall, to the Slytherin locker room. They were all laughing, talking about how stupid James, Sirius and I were, the look on my face when James and Sirius realized that I had "betrayed" them, and how pathetic I was. None of it helped quell the flames and anger churning in my chest.

The Slytherin team was understandably shocked when I shoved the door open and stalked in. Later I would wonder how I looked them with my eyes bright and wild, teeth clenched behind my lips, all tense and coiled like a snake ready to strike. I probably looked as crazy as Bellatrix.

As much as I wanted to punch Evan square in the face for what he had done, I had enough sense not to, instead I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him against the lockers. To my surprise, none of his teammates came to his aid – they had not counted on any form of retaliation from me, at least not so soon.

"ARE YOU HAPPY, EVAN! ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" I shouted at him, pushing him harder against the lockers for emphasis.

His eyes widened as he felt the lockers behind him tremble and rattle, surely fearing that he would bear first hand witness to the "darkness" in my blood. Evan swallowed heavily, before replying, "Careful Elaina…"

"No," I hissed. "You should have been careful! Now I know that you are not clever enough to have come up with this on your own, so who was it, hmm?"

Evan said nothing, but he didn't need to, I already knew who it was I just wanted to hear it from him. I needed him to hear that he was a pawn. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rodolphus reach into his Quidditch bag slowly and when Evan's eyes darted to his captain so did mine. Rodolphus hissed suddenly before his wand clattered to the floor and he watched it roll away from him as he rubbed the palm of his hand.

Satisfied, I turned back to Evan. "So what is this, then? Some kind of _if you can't have me, no one can_ situation? Is that why you went along Bellatrix's little revenge plan, then?"

"No."

I felt an eyebrow raise because his tone had a ring of truth to it and I wondered what would make Evan go along with Bellatrix's plan if not to get some sort of retribution himself? Then, I chuckled because I should have figured it out sooner. "You're screwing her then?" I laughed in his face and when Evan looked away I just laughed harder. "You are! Oh, that's precious! I'm sure you thought this was a win-win situation for you, Evan: gain favor with your fuck buddy all the while putting your ex in her place. I'm sure it felt like Christmas morning to you."

"Not everything is about you, Elaina," Evan hissed.

"No," I agreed, "but to Bellatrix everything is about _her_." I closed the distance between mine and Evan's faces until my lips brushed against his every time I spoke. "You think she actually cares about you? She _used_ you knowing that I would let my guard down at least a little around you. And when she's done with you, she's going to throw you away like a broken toy."

Evan's jaw clenched, his eyes boring into mine. "You're wrong," he breathed out against my mouth.

"Am I? We'll see in a few days," I told him as I pulled back. "You'll get yours Evan, and I can't wait to be there when it happens."

Someone's hand circled around my bicep and turning, I found Regulus standing there. "C'mon Elaina, you're done."

With a final hard shove against the lockers, I let go of Evan allowing Regulus to guide me back a step. I let Regulus turn me around, ready to lead me out of the locker room. I would have left without incident too if Evan hadn't opened his mouth again.

"Really, Elaina, this shouldn't be a new situation for you – being alone. I thought you would have become accustomed to it after your parents were killed. And I tried to warn you about Sirius and James – they weren't really your friends, didn't really trust you: look how easily they turned on you."

I saw red, heard my blood howl in my ears, and I think I blacked out for a moment because the next thing I knew I was lunging for Evan, suddenly possessing every intention of smashing his head against the lockers behind him. Luckily for Evan, Regulus stopped me, catching me under the arms and latching his hands together behind my neck, all but dragging me out of the locker room. The only thing that was mildly satisfying was the abrupt fear shadowing Evan's eyes.

"Let me go!" I shouted, struggling against him as the door slammed closed.

"I don't think so," Regulus said, his voice almost a laugh. "I'm not going to let you do something you're going to regret."

"The only thing I'm going to regret his not wringing Evan's scrawny neck when I had the chance!"

"You know, seeing you all worked up like this is kind of a turn on," he purred, bumping his forehead against the back of my head before releasing me.

Scoffing, I took two steps away from Regulus and crossed my arms. "Don't even try, Reg! You knew what Evan had been planning!" I snapped at him.

Any hint of playfulness dropped from his expression at my accusation, and he mirrored my stance. "I promise you that I didn't, and if I had, you know I would have tried to warn you. If my team was going to win I'd rather it be because we were actually the better team."

Resigned and utterly defeated, I let myself slide down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, head in my hands. Regulus was right and I knew it, I just wanted someone else to blame for what had happened. I didn't want to accept that it was my own fault because no matter what, whether James and Sirius forgave me on their own or whether I had to tell them about my curse, our friendships probably wouldn't be the same. They wouldn't trust me like they did before this happened.

Finally, a tear bloomed in the corner of my eye and rolled down my cheek. How could I face James and Sirius again? How could I face anyone in school again when they all thought that I was a liar and a cheat?

"Shit," Regulus sighed when he heard me start to cry. He crouched down in front me and started brushing hair back from my face. "Come on Elaina, it's not so bad… you'll figure something out, you always do. And when did you become so emotional, I've never seen you like this."

No, no one had ever seen me like this, I never _allowed_ anyone to see me like this. I was in rare form today, a raging outburst and a breakdown in less than half an hour. The old Elaina never would have let this happen, the girl who could lie as easily as smile, who let everything roll off her back. I was once aloof and indifferent of my relationships with people – they come and go and I understood there was little I could do to change it. Now, somehow, it was different and vastly so.

Sweet Merlin, when did I start to _care?_

I chose to ignore the second half of his statement. "Not so bad?" I rasped. "My two best friends won't even look at me now! Even if they eventually forgive me they are always going to be wary of me."

The sound of footsteps rounded the corner as I pressed my face further into my hands. "It is just a Quidditch game. My brother will forgive you… eventually."

"How do you know?" I scoffed into my hands.

Regulus sighed before he answered, "Because I've never seen him – "

Whatever Regulus was about to say was lost when the person who had rounded into our end of the hallway called out, "There you are Elaina, I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ian's heavy footsteps stopped a few feet away from me. "Is she okay?" he asked Regulus.

Regulus sighed again as he stood up, turning to face Ian. "Get her out of here," is all Regulus said before he left us and walked back into the Slytherin locker room.

Ian didn't waste any time taking Regulus' place crouched in front of me, but uncertainty and hesitation filled the space between us. I felt him reach out for me, and then his hands were on the backs of my arms, gently coaxing me to release my face. I didn't want to look at him, I didn't want to see the disappointment in his features after what he and the majority of the school had witnessed on the pitch.

"Come on, let's get you out of here," Ian urged me, giving my arms a small tug for good measure.

I shook my head, took a deep breath to steady my voice. "Just leave me here, I'll be fine."

"I'm not leaving you here."

My head snapped up to look at him as I demanded, "Why? Did you see what happened after the match?"

"Yes." I almost hit him. Ian's voice had the tone of 'of course I did, you idiot'.

When he tugged on my arms this time, there was more determination to it as he rose to his feet forcing me to rise with him. He pulled me a little closer to him, smiling down at me as he wiped a tear stain from my cheek and my legs felt weak. Why should Ian be the one standing here with me when he knew so little about me, when two of the people who knew me the best had turned away from me?

"You don't think I gave Rodolphus our plays?" I inquired of him, and my voice was small and afraid.

He shook his head. "No," he replied, but did not offer any indication as to how he knew. "Do you want to go back to Gryffindor Tower?"

Of course not. The mere idea of it sent a tremor down my spine as nausea nestled itself in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't go back to Gryffindor Tower, not so soon after the match. I needed time to figure out my next move, how I was going to root my way through my friends and convince them that I had not betrayed them. James and Sirius would have to be last of course, after I had convinced everyone else.

"No," I finally replied. "I just want to take a shower and lay down."

Ian smiled at me again. "Okay."

-:-

I'd never been in Hufflepuff House before, it was the only Common Room I had never been in and it was different to say the least. It was divided into three levels and decorated to look like the outdoors, it even had that earthy, wood smell. Because there were absolutely no windows, light was provided by a large light fixture above the middle level that, from what I could tell, was enchanted to look and act like the sun. Unlike Gryffindor Tower which possessed an impressive fireplace, there was a large fire pit on the top level surrounded by large throw pillows. Overall it was very cozy.

But I stopped admiring the scenery when I realized that the Hufflepuffs currently occupying the Common Room were sending withering glares in mine and Ian's direction. I felt it, their distrust, I felt it creep along my skin in the form of raising hair only to nestle itself at the base of my skull like an annoying nagging sensation. They didn't want the girl who had just betrayed her Quidditch team in their home and I didn't blame them.

Ian on the other hand acted entirely oblivious to my sudden discomfort and led me up to the second tier and to the hallway that branched off to the left. The dorm rooms were rounded with another tiered floor plan just like the Common Room, but this time with only two tiers. The beds were half set into nooks in the stone wall, with yellow hangings that were designed to extend around the foot of the bed to offer some privacy while bookshelves and drawers were in between all the beds.

"Bathroom's right over there," Ian told me, pointing to the extra door in the room.

I thanked him, adjusting the strap to my Quidditch bag which we had found ungraciously deposited outside the Gryffindor locker room. The bathroom was smaller than the one in the girls' dorm, but it hardly surprised me – boys tended to spend far less time in the bathroom than women did. I quickly deposed myself of my Quidditch kit as if it had suddenly burst into flames – I couldn't get out of it quick enough. I was alone now and the well of my emotions was threatening to overflow.

I didn't let myself think of anything as I went through my showering motions with all the enthusiasm of a robot. Every time a whispering thought entered my head like '_I wonder if James and Sirius are wondering where I am_', I berated myself, scrubbing away sweat and grime with more force than was probably necessary. _I wonder if Lily is worried_ – scratch shampoo into my scalp. _Remus won't think I gave Rodolphu the plays will he _– rub soap onto my arms with bruising force. Needless to say, my shower wasn't very long.

When I turned off the water, the murmuring of tense voices drifted in through the bathroom door. Wrapping myself in a towel, I stepped over my Quidditch kit, leaning my ear toward the door. After what happened with Barty Crouch in Hogsmeade those weeks ago, you'd think I would have learned my lesson about eavesdropping. It was Ian and Amos Diggory talking, and listening to their conversation I felt like I was listening to the same argument Lily and James had over the summer.

_"I don't want her here, Ian!"_

_"I don't care, she has nowhere else to go right now." _

_"Well, she should have thought about that before she decided to give Lestrange the Gryffindor plays, shouldn't she have? Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me she didn't do it?" _

_"She didn't." _

_"And what makes you so sure, Ian, the fact that you're screwing her? I know you like her, or whatever, but Merlin help me if she pulls the same thing on you, I will personally kick your sorry arse. I want her gone by tomorrow morning!" _

The slamming of the dorm door followed Amos out and I waited a moment before opening the bathroom door. Ian had taken a seat on the top of his trunk, rubbing his temples. I appreciated how difficult this situation was for him, siding with me when everyone was against me, especially against his best friend and his own Quidditch captain.

"I can go if me being here is going to cause problems for you, Ian," I told him, quietly, leaning against the doorframe.

He shook his head. "I don't want you to go and you're here by my invitation."

Ian must have been expecting me to be wearing more than a towel because when he looked up, he immediately jumped to his feet, his face flushing to an embarrassing pink before he turned around. I almost laughed because I was certain that given the same circumstances, Sirius would have stood there and stared at me. Padding across the room to stand behind him, I briefly wondered if I was pushing his boundaries and not for the first time the thought that Ian was too good for me pushed at the forefront of my mind.

"S-sorry, I thought you had… uh… dressed…" he trailed off awkwardly.

"Why don't you think I gave the Slytherin team Gryffindor's plays?" I wondered. "All of the evidence is against me and yet you're the only one who believes I didn't do it."

Ian chuckled and his head turned to the side, but he still wouldn't look at me over his shoulder. "I imagine that you're a lot more smug when you win at something. If you had given the Slytherin team the plays, you wouldn't be _this_ upset about it."

"Maybe I'm just acting, trying to get people on my side."

"Maybe," Ian allowed with a nod. "You might have acted for the sake of your team to try and save your hide, but I was with you in the library when Evan showed up, you were not happy to see him and that contempt ran deep. So no, I don't think for a moment that you would betray James and Sirius for Evan and the Slytherin team."

Silence descended on the room, only interrupted by mine and Ian's breathing and the _drip-drop_ of water off of the ends of my hair. The weight in my chest left behind from the realization that James and Sirius had turned away from me was somehow lighter. If I absolutely needed someone to believe me even if James and Sirius did not, I needed that someone to be Ian, and it was more than enough to know that I did not have to convince him of anything. He believed me no questions asked.

A slightly shaking hand reached out to touch his shoulder. "You can look at me you know," I said, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

Slowly, Ian shuffled around on the spot to face me, his breath leaving him in a rush when he did. His cheeks were still flushed as his eyes roamed from the damp top of my head to where water was dripping around my feet. When his gaze finally rested on the haggard scar across my chest, his brow crinkled; he had never seen it before. I held my breath as I watched him raise his hand and he gauged my reaction, trailing two fingers down the length of the mark, over the swell of my chest.

"Is that from…" _the night your parents were killed?_

"Yeah," I managed to rasp out through my teeth.

"Does it hurt? It doesn't look fully healed."

"No it doesn't hurt, cursed wounds just don't heal as nicely as others."

And as I spoke, my hands busied themselves with unbuttoning Ian's shirt, the final button popping satisfactorily when I finished speaking. I raised myself to the balls of my feet, aware that my towel was loosening the more I moved and lightly pressed a kiss to Ian's parted mouth. He didn't kiss me back and when I tried to renew my advance, run my hands up his chest and around his neck, one of his hands pressed mine to his chest as the other knotted in my hair at the back of my head, stopping me.

"Elaina," he breathed, "what are you doing?"

He was breathing heavily, nearly panting and his whiskey colored eyes were clouded as he looked at me. But there was an underlying fear there as well – the fear that I was using him. Who was I trying to kid, I was using Ian and I think he knew it too, so I don't know why he didn't push me away. I pressed myself closer to him, blinking away the colored spots that appeared in front of my eyes when the hand tangled in my hair didn't budge.

"Trying not to think," I told him, my mouth moving against his as I spoke. "I don't want to think about anything, I want to forget, at least for a little bit."

There it was, pretty much an admission that I intended to use Ian for my own purposes and the fact that there was no anger suddenly lighting his eyes made shame roar to life in my veins. There was _understanding_ as he looked at me, nearly naked now and throwing myself at him. If this wasn't more proof that I didn't deserve Ian's affection then I didn't know what was.

"Ian, _please_." It was desperate and pathetic.

But whatever Ian heard in my voice, so small and broken, seemed to have whittled away the last his willpower. The hand pressing mine against his chest was gone, disappearing under the folds of my towel to pull my body flush against his and I tasted his exhaling breath as his lips closed over mine. And Ian did make me forget, with each whisper of skin against skin and the trail of his kisses along my neck and chest, the pressure of his fingertips on my hips. He made me forget by the movements of his body over mine and the sound of my name on his breath, the salt taste of his sweat on my tongue.

But, our first time together shouldn't have been like this. It shouldn't have been hungry and raw, however enjoyable it was. What he couldn't make me forget was the nagging thought that I might have ruined our relationship because _I_ was desperate and pathetic.

* * *

**Wow. Angst feast much? Damn. **

**Okay, so we've finally learned what "the darkness" in Elaina's blood is! Who was expecting that? **

**I based the Hufflepuff common room on Whisperwing's sketches on deviantart. If you're kind of stuck on writing what the different common rooms look like, check out her sketches! **

**And oh man, the end of this chapter. I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELS ABOUT IAN, GUYS. At first I totally intended him to be kind of a throwaway character, but I actually really like him. BUT HE AND ELAINA CANNOT STAY TOGETHER BECAUSE THIS IS A SIRIUS/OC DAMNIT. **

**I've also created a character concept of how I picture Elaina in my head using my Sims 3 game. If you'd like to know how I picture her, let me know and I'll put a link in my bio! **

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that reviewed! It means so much!**

**ONE MORE THING! I GOT ENGAGED YOU GUYS! :) **

**See you later! **

**-(gxr)- **


	28. Bitter Aftermath

**Ch. 27 – Bitter Aftermath**

_If by real you mean as real as a shark tooth stuck  
in your heel, the wetness of a finished lollipop stick,  
the surprise of a thumbtack in your purse—  
then Yes, every last page is true, every nuance,  
bit, and bite._  
- Are All The Break-Ups In Your Poems Real?, Aimee Nezhukumatathil

Sirius knew James like the back of his own hand. James was his brother, his friend and confidante; at their very core, their souls were the same. Their minds worked the same way; their personalities were not so jarringly different from the others. The two of them could hold a conversation with mere glances and nearly undetectable gestures, whole conversations held within every day movements. Anyone else would have thought they could read each other's minds.

But despite the fact that James and Sirius knew each other so well, that didn't mean one could not surprise the other.

James did not have a temper; he was not a violent person. On occasion he may have taken some jokes a little too far, but he would later realize his mistake and make amends. He didn't take life too seriously, was carefree and easy going – it was one of the many reasons he and Sirius got on so well.

That said, James' volatile reaction to Elaina's betrayal genuinely took Sirius by surprise and as much as he wanted to calm his friend down, Sirius knew better than to try. He felt it too, the sting of Elaina's betrayal, like an aching pulse in the center of his chest that beat in time with his heart, but where James reacted violently and with rage, Sirius just felt sick to his stomach. Maybe the reality of it had not sunk in yet, but Sirius could not shake the image of Elaina desperately clinging to his wrist as she begged him to believe her.

He had watched Elaina's heart collapse when he told her to let him go.

_Why hadn't she defended herself?_ Sirius wondered. _If she really hadn't done it, why hadn't she fought harder to make us believe her?_

Sirius tried not to think about it, tried not to acknowledge the choked feeling in his chest and how it felt as though all of his organs had been scooped out. Oh, sweet Merlin and Circe was this…? Was this _heartbreak _that he was feeling? Somehow that idea was more appalling than the betrayal, he's _never_ been heartbroken! Sirius didn't want to believe Elaina would do something so heinous because he had feelings for her, but the evidence was right in front of them, irrefutable. He had trusted her, had tried to give her something he had never considered giving to any other girl – Sirius didn't want to believe that Elaina would trample all over that.

He looked down at his arm where Elaina's fingers felt like they had dug straight to the bone, briefly considering if there was going to be a bruise. She had held on _so fiercely_ that for a moment, Sirius had believed her, believed the desperation he could see in the planes of her face and the depths of her eyes. Why would she take the friendship James and Sirius so easily offered and throw it in their faces?

"I cannot believe I ever trusted her for a second! I believed every fucking lie she ever told me! Fell for it, hook, line and sinker! How fucking stupid must I be!?" James shouted. Beside Sirius, Vesper jumped when James spun abruptly and punched a locker.

Vesper mumbled something under her breath, and her intention probably wasn't to be heard, but James heard it anyway. Their Captain turned on his heel to face the lithe fifth year Seeker. "What did you just say?" he demanded.

Vesper, who was never one to back down from a challenge, who had once gotten herself thrown out of a match for starting a fight with another team's beater, seemed to shrink back under James' fierce glare. With a deep breath, Vesper seemed to gather up and arm herself with all of her courage before she rose to her feet, facing off against James who stood almost a foot taller than her.

"I think Elaina was telling the truth," she said, her voice quieter than usual.

But Vesper's words seemed to echo through the suddenly quiet locker room, leaving behind a tension that Sirius could feel press against him. Sirius watched the rage mount on James' face, how his expression knotted into something ugly and dark. For a moment, Sirius thought that he was going to be forced to intervene and genuinely feared for the Seeker's safety as he watched James' fists tighten dangerously at his sides. But Vesper did not back down, she stood defiantly against him, even if she seemed a little unsteady.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" James suddenly exploded in her face. "YOU BELIEVE THAT LYING BITCH! ELAINA WAS THE LAST PERSON TO HAVE THE PLAYS, IF SHE DIDN'T GIVE THEM TO RODOLPHUS, THEN HOW DID HE GET THEM!?"

"I don't know," Vesper admitted, unfazed. "But I have played Quidditch with Elaina for three fucking years in summer leagues, that's over a hundred matches, James! She would never have given our plays to another team!"

"Well, apparently she did, Ves," Drew, the Second Beater, input. "You saw her, she didn't even really try to defend herself."

"She was found out, there was no point in defending herself, she would have just dug her grave deeper," Jeremy added.

"Now we have _nothing_ for when we face Ravenclaw," Mike muttered.

"Why is it so damn hard for you assholes to believe Elaina didn't do it?" Vesper questioned everyone, turning in a circle on the spot. "You want so badly to believe that she did it because it's easier to think she handed them over, then to believe she let her guard down and they were stolen. I'm telling you, Elaina wouldn't do this!"

"Get out," James suddenly told her.

She turned back to face him and replied, "Excuse me?"

"Get out!" he shouted at her this time, pointing a bloody knuckled hand at the door.

Scoffing, Vesper picked up her Quidditch bag and slung it around her shoulder. "Fine," she snapped, "but when you find out Elaina is innocent, I better get part of that fucking apology too!"

No sooner had the door slammed shut behind Vesper did James turn back to the lockers, throw open Elaina's and began rifling through it. Sirius could hear James muttering swear words to himself as he violently packed Elaina's Quidditch bag giving no consideration to anything that might be fragile, ignoring when anything seemed to bang together. He didn't say a word to anyone as he crossed the locker room again and threw her bag out into the hallway where it banged against the opposite wall, then clattered to the floor.

Slamming the door again for good measure, James stood there for a moment, breathing, coming down from the high of his anger only to finally look how the rest of the team felt: defeated. There was nothing quite like an internal betrayal to cripple morale so effectively. James' gaze drifted over to Sirius and he shook his head, indicating that it wasn't doing any good to rant and rave about Elaina now. His friend's shoulders sagged and all at once, James looked so lost.

"Hit the showers," he finally announced, his voice resigned. "Eat a big breakfast tomorrow morning because we're having a practice immediately after classes, maybe we can salvage this fucking nightmare."

Without much ceremony, Jeremy, Drew and Mike pushed themselves to their feet and shuffled off to the showers. James threw himself down on the bench beside Sirius, burying his face into his hands. What a pair they made, sitting there, both handed heartbreak by the same girl but they felt it for different reasons. To James, Elaina's betrayal stung as harshly as if Sirius were the one who had given the plays to Rodolphus. But to Sirius, it was quite a different matter. James didn't feel for Elaina the way Sirius did, her plea to be believed and the devastation when they turned away from her did not affect James in quite the same way.

"How could she do this?" James wondered quietly. "My parents took her in, we made her our friend…"

Sirius didn't know what to say. James rarely looked past the surface, most of the time he saw people and situations at face value. Elaina betrayed them, simply put, and that's what James would continue to believe until he was proven wrong. There was no way Sirius could plant even a seed of doubt as to Elaina's guilt. There was nothing that could be done to make this better.

"Come on, mate," Sirius finally said with a shake of his head. "We made her our friend out of pity and sympathy, you know that as much as I do, and I'm sure so did Elaina. We felt sorry for her because she didn't have anybody. Maybe her resentment finally got the best of her."

Even as he spoke, the words felt wrong on Sirius' tongue, the syllables leaving a bitter taste behind in his mouth. Maybe once Sirius would have believed such a thing about Elaina, before he got to know her, but not now. Of course there were things that Elaina kept to herself, Sirius knew and expected that, but he also knew that if she felt anything at all about his and James' friendship, it was gratitude even if they had offered their friendship out of pity.

"I don't know, but I'm going to take a shower," James replied, shoving himself to his feet. With a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair and told Sirius, "Lily's going to be devastated. She really loved Elaina."

"You too," Sirius pointed out.

"Yeah!" James laughed darkly. "We can see how much that mattered to her!"

As James turned away, headed to the showers, Sirius was reminded very suddenly of the words he had nearly spoken to Elaina on the Quidditch pitch. They had taken him by surprise, rising to the tip of his tongue before he even realized what he was going to say. Luckily for both of them Sirius had managed to cut himself off just him time as he remembered the situation at hand, and it made this so much worse.

_"I don't know what to think right now Elaina. I held you with such high regard, I even thought I…" _

The ripping sensation returned two fold in the center of his chest, pulling apart his rib cage with all the violence of an earthquake. Suddenly, Sirius couldn't breathe, there was not enough air in the locker room and he found himself desperately trying to catch his breath as he buried his face into his shaking hands to muffle the sounds of his gasping. Without the caging of his ribs to protect it, Sirius was sure that his heart would have pounded right out of his chest and across the floor for how hard it was beating; he could hear it in the blood rushing through his veins.

"I even thought I loved you," he admitted to himself now, his voice rough and pained.

That's why it hurt so damn much, because it was real, because it _mattered_.

**-:-**

No body reacted kindly to what Elaina had done, but for Sirius, the most surprising reaction was from Lily. The usual fiery redhead did not say a word, taking the information about what happened after the match with admirable stoicism. Given James' explosive reaction and the fact that Lily was the more temperamental of the two, Sirius expected that she would react just as violently. She said nothing though and Sirius knew Lily well enough by now to recognize when the cogs of her mind were turning, but she never shared whatever she may have been thinking. Lily didn't possess the same fervor that James did for Quidditch, so whatever she was thinking, Lily was able to look at it from a more rational point of view removing the match from the equation altogether.

To the absolute surprise of no one, Mary took the opportunity to gloat about how she was right about Elaina all along. If they had listened to her from the start, she pointed out, none of this would have happened. After a few moments, everyone stopped paying attention to her and when she re-took her seat, Mary looked so self-satisfied that Sirius couldn't even bring himself to look at her. Marlene on the other hand seemed to the take the same approach as Lily – stoic silence, but even the blue-eyed beauty seemed to be trying to wrap her head around the situation. But Marlene was different from Lily in one aspect – she _loved_ Quidditch and was always one of Gryffindor's more enthusiastic supporters. Sirius wondered if Marlene would be able to see everything as objectively as her redheaded friend.

Remus, ever the peacekeeper, took to vocally rationalizing. He insisted that it didn't make sense for Elaina to give the Slytherin team the plays, holding the same line of thought that Sirius did – Elaina was _grateful _for their friendship and given what she had gone through over the summer, that was not something she was going to throw away in such a manner. Maybe Rosier_ had_ stolen the plays from her, Remus had said, and Elaina hadn't said anything because she had not expected him to out rightly use them against her. She was probably planning on getting the original copies back, he'd said. Given the facts, what they knew and what they suspected occurred, Elaina's reaction to Rodolphus revealing he had Gryffindor's plays did not add up.

Peter opted for open disbelief, which quickly wore on James' already thin patience and resulted in Peter receiving a verbal lashing. Peter stayed silent after that, but Sirius could see his chubby friend still trying to come to terms with the information. Sirius sympathized, if he had not been on the pitch when Rodolphus thanked Elaina for helping them, he probably would have taken the same position as Peter. After a moment, James sighed and apologized to Peter, pointing out the fact that he had not been on the pitch at the end of the match. Peter had shrugged, accepting James apology good-naturedly as he always did.

Now, everyone had gone to bed except Sirius, he probably wouldn't have been able to sleep if he tried. No one had seen hide or hair of Elaina since the match, and despite himself Sirius wondered where she was. Was he worried? To an extent, but he knew that she could take care of herself. James would rip his face off if he knew Sirius was worried about her. He couldn't help it though, because he couldn't just _make_ himself stop caring about her, and as much as James would be loath to admit it, neither could he. They could rant and rave, curse and shout about Elaina all they wanted, but at the end of the day both of them still cared, at least a little, about her. It was difficult not to when James and Sirius had probably seen Elaina at her absolute worst, so broken and alone; when they had seen her gather the last vestiges of her spirit and put herself back together. It was hard not to admire and care for someone after watching them rise from their own ashes with little help.

Sirius didn't know what time it was when the portrait hole swung open, but the flames of the fireplace had dimmed casting the common room in flickering yellow light. Shadows twitched and shifted on the walls, the silhouettes laughably out of proportion from the object that cast them. He didn't want to move, he wanted to stay slouched down into the upholstery of the chair and not acknowledge who had walked into the common room. Sirius didn't have to sit up to know it was Elaina – he knew the lightness of her footsteps, and the pattern of her breathing. And now, Sirius knew the tone of Elaina's voice as she _hummed_.

"You're awfully cheerful considering the day's events," Sirius called out as he rose to face her.

To her credit, Elaina did not startle, but met Sirius' gaze with narrowed eyes, and he didn't miss the way her grip tightened on the strap of her bag. The clothes she was wearing weren't hers, he realized a little bitterly. The t-shirt was two sizes too big, the shoulders sloped down Elaina's arms and the neck was wide enough that one corner slipped over the curve of her bare shoulder. The sweatpants, too, were big and despite the fact that she had rolled up the legs several times, Elaina was practically swimming in them.

She had been with Ian.

He tried his hardest to ignore the jealousy that twisted his gut and strangled his heart, but it wouldn't be pushed to the side this time. The green monster inside of him roared to life with a violence that made Sirius' knees tremble. Even now, after what Elaina had done, the envious monster inside of him whispered that she should have been wearing _his _clothes, _he_ should have been the one to muss her hair like that, _he_ should be the reason she was ambling in so late at night, humming to herself. Sirius wanted to be the one Elaina took comfort from, but after today that seemed like an impossibility.

"I didn't realize anyone was still awake," Elaina commented, heading towards the stairs.

Now, riding on the coattails of the envy came the anger, warm on his cheeks, hammering in his chest. She was so casual! If Sirius didn't know any better, this would be a normal day, a normal encounter and conversation. But it was far from that and both of them knew it. Elaina acted as if she hadn't handed the Slytherin team their victory on a silver platter, as if she hadn't practically been on her knees begging Sirius to believe her.

"You could at least have the decency to look ashamed!" Sirius snapped at her retreating form.

In one swift move, Elaina stopped on a sickle and spun to face him as the dying flames ignited the fierceness in the depths of her eyes that Sirius so admired about her. "For what!?" she barked back at him.

Sirius couldn't help rolling his eyes at her. He could hear his heart beat between his ears, feel the sudden uncomfortable dryness of his throat. "Really? You are honestly going to maintain your innocence? Let it go, Elaina, just admit that you betrayed us, and while you're at it why don't you tell me exactly what you gained by betraying James and me?"

"_This has nothing to do with you!_" Elaina shouted as the bag slid off her shoulder and thumped to the ground.

Sirius blinked in surprise as he watched Elaina become suddenly frazzled. Aside from the incident by the lake a few months ago, Sirius had never heard Elaina raise her voice; she made her points quietly, subtly. She never lessened the power of her words with volume, now, it seemed that she was losing her finely controlled patience.

Agitated all of sudden, Elaina devoured the distance between them in a few long strides, leaning over the side of the armchair toward him. "This had nothing to do with you," she said again. "You and James got roped into it because you're close to me, but this was about Evan teaching me a lesson."

"And what lesson was that?" Sirius wondered, making a conscious effort to control his breathing at her proximity. She was doing this on purpose, he was sure it, stretched out toward him as she used the arm of the chair to hold herself up. Elaina looked up at him from under her lashes, but Sirius was finding it difficult to keep his gaze focused on her face because the neck of the t-shirt had drooped forward revealing to him the curve of her collarbones and the swell of her chest.

Elaina met his eyes, each word she spoke finding their mark with all the accuracy of a sharpened dagger. "That you don't trust me, that James doesn't trust me; that you probably never completely did. Look how _easily_ you and James turned on me when I needed you most to believe me – the _one_ instance when my loyalty was questioned… over a fucking Quidditch match of all things," she said, finishing with a shake of her head.

With a derisive snort Elaina shoved herself away from the armchair. "What an apt teacher he turned out to be," she sneered over her shoulder, the disdain dripping from every syllable. But the disdain was coupled with the weight of her emotions, choking the words as she spoke.

How was it possible that Elaina made Sirius' shame burst to life, fanning the flames with the tone of her words. Because he knew her, Sirius knew that the resentment hid the hurt. He could see it in the slouch of her shoulders, the shadows that danced in her eyes and the circles under them, revealing that she hadn't slept either.

But he wasn't about to let her have the last word. However, Sirius regretted the next thing he said before the words even left his mouth. "So you ran and hid in the comfort of Ian's bed?"

Sirius expected Elaina to spin around again in a whirlwind of irritation, he expected to bear witness to the end of her long suffering temper. Instead, Elaina bent to pick up her bag, then slowly turned to face him and as she did Sirius suddenly remembered his first impressions of her – that her beauty was chilling and dark. And he found that to be terrifyingly accurate now, taking in the dark smirk curling up the corner of her mouth, and shift of her features as the light of the fireplace flickered across her skin.

"Jealous, Sirius?" Elaina purred, the timbre of her voice coming from the depths of her chest. She artfully moved her lips and tongue around the sound of the words, caressing each syllable like a lover. The sound raised the hair along his arms and despite the distance between them, Sirius felt it as if she had whispered them against his ear.

Convulsively, Sirius swallowed and in the silence that settled over them he could have sworn Elaina heard it because the next thing she did was breathe a laugh before she climbed the stairs to the girls' dormitory. With a defeated sigh, Sirius collapsed back into the chair.

Elaina had gotten the last word, after all.

* * *

**I actually started a chapter in Elaina's POV, but then I realized that we hadn't had one in Sirius' POV for awhile and considering that the quidditch match and Elaina's "betrayal" was a rather large event, we needed one in his POV. So next chapter we'll be back to Elaina. And I needed this chapter to show that Ian isn't the ONLY person who believes Elaina is innocent. **

**As for the last part of this chapter and Elaina's attitude: When she refers to the "old" Elaina, how she acts during the scene with Sirius is what she means. That's what the "old" Elaina was like: aloof, outwardly manipulative, indifferent. Which now you can see why James disliked her before. **

**For those of you that were hoping for James, Sirius and Elaina to make up in this chapter: Sorry! (kind of). **

**Anyway, thank you to... Forever Siriusly Sirius, Zuzu136, MsTonksLupin, Shes-The-Proto-Type and BleedinLuva1123 for reviewing in the interim! Thanks guys, you're a best!**

**And big shoutout to Shelbylee824 to kindly alerted me to the fact that there was another author plagarising my story! Thankfully, the imposter's story has since been taken down and their account deleted. So shoutout to the FFnet people for taking care of it so quickly! **

**See you next time! Use that box down there *points down* and let me know what you think, or just say hi! **

**-(gxr)- **

**EDITED/TWEAKED: 4/3/2013**


	29. Human Error

**Ch. 28 – Human Error **

_I was angry with my friend;  
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.  
I was angry with my foe:  
I told it not, my wrath did grow.  
_- A Poison Tree, William Blake

Crammed up against the very edge of Ian's bed with the suffocating heat of his body pressed against me, it was hardly a surprise that I couldn't sleep. But I laid there, unmoving as I listened to the sound of _my boyfriend_ snoring softly behind me, squinting in the dark as I read and re-read the titles of the books on the shelves that had been carved into the wall. Anything to distract myself from the self-loathing that rotted away in my stomach. Anything to keep my heart from reminding me who I really wanted to be sharing the bed with.

I laid there for hours reliving the past few days, trying to figure out exactly where everything went so _wrong_, as if there was only _one _pivotal moment when everything began its tumble downhill. But there had never been just one thing, never just _one_ miscalculation. Not that it mattered anymore, I couldn't change anything now. There was _nothing_ left when I thought about what happened, what tears I'd had already been spent hours ago, leaving in their wake the hollow aching that I'd tried to placate with sex.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Bellatrix must have been throwing herself a party for how well her plan seemed to have worked. Ruining my friendship with James and Sirius, turning them against me, all leading me to an emotional downward spiral, doing what I could to distract myself from it all.

When did I become so terribly predictable?

Then I decided fine, if James and Sirius, and anybody else wanted to believe that I gave Slytherin the Gryffindor plays, _let them_. Let them hate me, let them call me 'traitor', let them talk about me when they thought I couldn't hear because I would not rise to their bait. I was better than that, and there were dozens of people who would be thrilled to see me fall – I would disappoint every single one of them. I would tackle every single obstacle they put in my way, and though I may be bloodied and bruised, I would come out stronger than them in the end.

Bellatrix wanted to see me broken and desperate, but I would not give her the satisfaction. Let her have her small victory now and come morning I would look at her and raise my goblet with a smile, head held high. I couldn't think of a better revenge.

And that's what I thought about all night, growing more bitter as the minutes ticked slowly away until the light in the middle of the room began to darken a little more signaling that it was well past midnight and the moon was no longer at its highest point. Finally, I couldn't lay there anymore and shifted to sit up, cringing against the twinge that ached across the expanse of my back as I did. I worked the kinks out from my neck as Ian moved behind me and it only took another moment before I felt his hand against the small of my back.

"I should go," I said over my shoulder. "Amos wanted me gone by morning."

Ian's eyebrows knitted together and his mouth twisted into a frown. "Forget Amos, you stay if you want to."

With a smile I brushed my knuckles along the angle of his cheekbone and said, "You're very sweet, Ian, but I can't hide in Hufflepuff house forever."

Ian smiled at me in return as I scooted to the end of the bed and pushed aside the hangings. He watched me as I went to his dresser, picking out for myself a pair of his sweatpants and a large t-shirt. The action positively delighted him, in the half-light I could still see his eyes light up as he watched me dress myself in his clothes. I do admit, dressing myself in his clothes was more for his benefit than for mine, I had an extra set of clothes in my Quidditch bag, but after I had all but used Ian, wearing his clothes was a subtle way to reassure him that nothing had changed even though _everything_ had.

"What are you going to do?" Ian asked as I sat back down and began rolling up the legs of the pants.

I shrugged. "The only thing I can – show them that I am not toppled so easily."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that," I affirmed with a confident nod. "I'm not saying that it is going to be the easiest thing I've ever done, but it certainly won't be the hardest."

I moved to stand, but Ian's hand reached out and circled my wrist, pulling me back down with a small tug. He was sitting now as I let him pull me back down on the bed beside him. The way he looked at me then made my stomach bottom out, made anxiety crowd itself in my throat and dry out my mouth. _Oh shit, _I thought.

"…What?" I asked, hoping he would get this over with quickly.

His lips pressed into a tight line and it was the first time I'd seen the perpetual curve in the corners of his mouth disappear. "I just…" he took a deep breath, ran his hand over his face.

In my head, while Ian gathered is thoughts and mustered his courage, all I could repeat was: _Please, please, PLEASE DO NOT tell me you love me! _

Ian breathed another sigh as his hand came to rest on mine, his long fingers curling around the side of my hand. I could feel him looking at me again, but I did not want to raise my eyes to his. This was the part that I had not thought through to the fullest – what would happen the morning after. Part of me had hoped that I would have been able to sneak out before Ian woke up and avoid this whole awkwardness. Or I had hoped that Ian was perceptive enough not to _make_ this awkward.

"I just want you to know that… I don't regret what happened, I understand that it was what you needed to get your mind off of everything, but I don't think any less of you for it," he stated. "And I know that you don't quite feel for me the same way I feel for you, but I… care about you a lot, Elaina. Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

I felt my shoulders sag under the pressure of the guilt Ian had just put on top of them. But despite that, I couldn't help the warm smile that I felt spread across my face because of the nervous expression that knotted Ian's face. He wanted, _needed_ me to say something, anything at that moment and I don't think he would have cared what it was as long it was kind. He must have felt like he just bared his soul to me for how red in the face he had become and I almost laughed, barely managing to hold it in knowing that if I did laugh in his face he probably would have wanted to hang himself.

"Oh, Ian," I sighed, removing my hand from his and cupping his cheek. "You are far too good for me – you could do so much better than me, you know that?" _I am going to ruin you_.

**-:-**

Something any person will tell you: it's easier to play pretend when you have an audience.

I honestly hadn't expected Sirius to still be awake by the time I returned to Gryffindor tower, I hadn't expected anyone to still be awake. I figured that, like me, everyone would want to get to sleep as soon as possible and try to forget that the day even happened.

I knew Sirius was the one in the Common Room almost as soon as I stepped into it, in the same way that he probably instantly knew it was me. Content to ignore him, I had intended to head straight to the dormitory, but Sirius had other plans. It was not any kind of conversation that I wanted to have so soon after the Quidditch match, but like I said all those months ago at the Potter's – Sirius deemed a conversation finished once he'd had his say.

The old Elaina reared her head a lot quicker than I would have liked and my temper was thinner than I realized, though I shouldn't have been surprised with the amount of sleep I didn't get. And I do admit that some part of me thoroughly enjoyed watching Sirius try to control his jealousy, but this time I was not about to let him have the last word.

But like I said, it's easier to pretend when you have an audience. It's easier to don the unemotional mask when you have to, to be cold and callous and act like you don't give a damn. Uncomfortable as it may be, it was mask that I would have to continue to wear for a little while longer. I didn't give a second glance into the Common Room, I couldn't bear to see the resignation in Sirius' demeanor, and less than half way up the stairs, my temper pooled at my feet and tumbled down the stairs in my wake. I had to pause, catch my breath and swallow down the choked feeling in my throat.

My face was hot to the touch so the first thing I did was deposit my things on my bed and head to the bathroom to rinse my face with cool water. The guilt Ian had saddled me with, coupled with the confrontation with Sirius was making my stomach trip over itself. I stood in front of the sink, letting the water run ice cold, splashing my face and wetting the back of my neck.

I realized everything was unraveling. Everything I had gained and created for myself since my parents were killed was crashing down right in front of my eyes, and I was helpless to stop it. It's the worst feeling in the world – helplessness. It feels like drowning and since I've nearly drowned, I found the metaphor terribly accurate. No matter how much you claw and fight for the surface, all you do is sink lower and further, constantly gasping for air as you thrash around in a storm of bubbles, but you never actually drown. That's the worst part – you never actually drown. You just drift, pressed against from all sides continually reminded of you own inadequacy and lack of resilience.

I heard the doorknob rattle and turned in time to see the door open, watch as Lily sidled into the bathroom with me. "Do you ever sleep?" I wondered blankly, reaching out to turn off the tap.

"Chronic insomniac," she replied.

I made no reply, but turned to leave the bathroom instead, I'd already had one confrontation tonight and I was not looking for another. But Lily didn't move, just stood there with her back pressed against the bathroom door, blocking my way out.

"Move, Lily," I sighed.

"Tell me you didn't give Rodolphus the plays, Elaina."

My hands clenched at my sides on reflex, but at least she hadn't out rightly accused me like Sirius had. I don't know what she had hoped to gain from trying to force this conversation at the moment. I wouldn't have been surprised if James had asked her to talk to me, just like he had asked her to try and befriend me.

"Get out of my way," I told her, my tone even.

Stubborn as ever, Lily didn't budge and I had it half in mind to physically remove her from my path. "Why are you letting James and Sirius think you did this? I know you didn't, you wouldn't."

Curiosity got the better of me once again and I rose to her bait. Bitter and irritated, my words were hard and flat as I spoke, "And just what makes you think I wouldn't, hmm? It was hardly a stretch of the imagination for James and Sirius."

A relieved smile graced Lily's freckled face and I saw the triumph light her eyes. _Damn her for being so clever_, I thought. "Because you told me about the night your parents were killed, but you haven't told them; and you haven't told them because you don't want them to know what you went through. You want them to believe you're so strong when it left you so broken. You told me how alone and lost you felt, but felt as if you'd found another home with James and his family."

"And how does that make you believe that I wouldn't give the Slytherin team our plays?" I demanded.

"You consider James and Sirius your family. You're not going to betray your found family, when you've already lost your flesh and blood family," Lily stated, seeming thoroughly pleased with her deduction.

Slowly, I raised my hands granting Lily a slow, sarcastic round of applause. "Well done Miss Evans, I think that deduction deserves an Outstanding mark; once again you are at the top of your class," I told her, tone heavily laden with sarcasm. "Now for bonus points you can explain to me how exactly your brilliant deduction is going to help the situation in any way, shape or form."

"I could tell James –"

"Absolutely not," I cut her off before she could even think to finish her statement.

"Why?" She demanded. "James would believe me!"

I shook my head, forcing back the laugh that I could feel bubbling in my chest. "No, he wouldn't and I will tell you why – James Potter is a _proud_ creature. He is not going to admit that he is wrong when a crowd of a thousand people saw what happened on the pitch."

"But you didn't give the Slytherin team the plays!" Lily countered.

I shook my head. "No, I didn't, but I knew that they had them and instead of trying to get them back or telling James that they were stolen from me, I did nothing. I only thought one move ahead instead of two like I should have, not thinking that Rodolphus would make it appear as though I _actively_ helped them."

Lily blinked at me, processing my words and I could practically see the cogs of her mind turning. "That's hardly something they can blame you for!" She exclaimed. "You're human, you made a mistake!"

"Yes," I agreed, "I made a mistake and it cost me my two best friends. It's better that you leave well enough alone, Lily. I will figure something out eventually, but for now I am going to let it be; I am not going to make a volatile situation even worse by trying to fix everything so soon. Do you understand?"

Slowly, Lily nodded dejectedly, casting her eyes to the floor looking for all the world like a puppy that had been kicked. Clearly this was not how she had imagined this conversation was going to end when she rehearsed it with herself. Finally, she side stepped from the door allowing me enough space to slide out of the bathroom.

"What I don't understand is why you don't want to fix this as soon as possible. Doesn't their friendship mean that much to you at least?" she asked the back of my head.

I didn't stop to acknowledge her, just continued to put my things away and draw back the hangings of my bed as I told her, "Their friendship means everything to me, which is exactly _why_ you don't understand."

-:-

After only a few hours of sleep, I was up, dressed and one of the first students in the Great Hall for breakfast. I ignored everyone, sending the most withering glares in the direction of other students who made some kind of comment at me or about me. I wasn't deaf, dumb or blind, and there were several people who didn't even bother to hide the fact that they were talking about me and what they _thought_ I had done. And I do admit, finally being in the middle of all the whispering and the gossiping made it a little harder to stick to my original resolution to _let_ everyone paint me as the villain.

As more students and a handful of teachers trickled into the Great Hall, a heavy hand landed on my shoulder. I didn't look up as Derek leaned down so he was level with the side of my head. "We need to have a discussion, Miss Cochran."

I sighed, lifting my glass of orange juice to my mouth and taking an overly long gulp. After wiping the corner of my mouth, I asked, "Now, professor?"

"Yes."

Sighing, I finished the last of my orange juice and rose to follow Derek out of the Great Hall, my stomach sinking with every step I took because I knew I was not going to enjoy this conversation. Derek was a few strides ahead of me, unsurprising considering how long his legs were, but when I saw James, Sirius, Remus and Peter walking into the Great Hall shoulder to shoulder, I suddenly wished I had kept pace with Derek. To be honest, I was more than mildly terrified because I knew they wouldn't just kindly step out of my way as they had for Derek, I would have to walk through them, right between Sirius and James.

But I couldn't let them know I was terrified. So I squared my shoulders and held my head a little higher soldiering toward them, my gaze focused on the space between their heads. I could feel James and Sirius glowering at me, but I refused to acknowledge them as I approached. Heart hammering in my chest, it seemed that they were going to let me pass between them without incident… how wrong I was.

James rammed his shoulder into mine with bruising force, knocking my bag into the crook of my arm and tilting me off balance; as I took an extra step to right myself, someone's foot (I don't know whose) tangled with mine to send me crashing to the floor. My knees hit the stone ground with a sickening crack, a jarring pain shooting all the way up my arms as I caught myself on my wrists to prevent my face from making friends with the floor as well.

As the approving laughs and jeers of my classmates rose around me, I couldn't help the sad, bitter laugh that escaped me and I was horrified that I could feel tears welling in my eyes. So much for my pride. So much for thinking that if I ignored them that they would show me the same courtesy.

Derek crouched down beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder which I immediately shrugged off as he looked up to the retreating forms of the Marauders. "Mr. Potter!"

"Derek, don't." I quietly pleaded with him.

Behind me, I heard James' footsteps stop, the squeak of his shoes as he spun around. "Yes, professor?" his voice was so aloof and innocent that I could have kicked him.

"Care to explain yourself?"

"Explain what, professor? She tripped is all, she's not the most graceful person, you know," James said dismissively, refusing to say my name. I'd been reduced to a pronoun. "Isn't that right?" This was directed at me and I knew it because I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my head.

I was shaking as I glanced over my shoulder at him. James' anger I could handle, the way he yelled at me that day on the pitch, I could handle. But this… this complete and utter… dismissal of me was heartbreaking in a way I couldn't explain. This time when James looked at me it wasn't with laughter and brotherly affection in his eyes; if it had been anger and hurt and betrayal, I would have understood that and I could have handled it, but there was _nothing_. He looked through me.

I kept my gaze locked with James' as I said, "Yeah, I tripped, that's all. It's not a big deal."

He _saw _me then, his eyes focused on me, alight with self-satisfied triumph. "See, professor? Not a big deal."

James turned away from me then and headed back into the Great Hall and I could practically _see_ the arrogance radiating from him. He knew I was going to agree with him, and I was _so fucking tired_ of playing right into everyone's hands lately.

_Time to teach you some goddamned humility Mr. Potter,_ I thought, focusing on James.

Suddenly, James' slacks were down around his ankles and he gave a surprised shout as his legs tangled in his pants and he went down, his arms flailing comically as he tried to maintain his balance. It didn't work and James even managed to take down another student with him, completely taking the poor boy (a third year I think) off the bench, while the boy dragged his food off the table with him covering him and James with breakfast foods.

The entire Great Hall erupted in raucous laughter as I clamored to my feet and picked up my bag, unable to hide the smirk pulling at the corner of my mouth. I heard James struggling to reclaim his dignity, cursing loudly as he tried to bring his trousers back up around his waist. When he turned to glare at me, I held up my empty hands to show him that it couldn't have possibly been me because I didn't have my wand, then gave him a thumbs up for his spectacular performance.

However, when I turned back to Derek I found him staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. "What?" I said.

"Elaina…" he said warningly.

I shrugged my shoulders brushing past him. "He should learn to wear a belt."

* * *

**REJOICE! It seems I have found a random bought of inspiration!  
But I don't know how long it's going to last :(  
**

**Thank you everyone for your continued support of this story  
it really does mean the world to me! **

**-(gxr)- **


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